July 31: Magical London
Harry Potter, 18, walked the streets of magical London beneath a glamour; contemplating his birthday.
Today, everyone was celebrating the birth of the Boy-Who-Lived, the Man-Who-Saved, well, everyone but Harry. Harry liked a quiet party at the Weasleys' house, but everyone in the wizard world knew that he would be there, so they had to hold his party elsewhere.
Harry absolutely HATED his fame. He couldn't go anywhere without getting mugged by rabid fans. So, he decided that he finally had enough. He stomped into Diagon Alley, went up the stairs to Gringotts, where he removed his glamour and amplified his voice.
"OI! LISTEN UP YOU SHEEP! I DON'T CARE THAT I DEFEATED VOLDEMORT FOR YOU LOT, BUT CAN'T A GUY SPEND HIS OWN BIRTHDAY IN PEACE? I GET ATTACKED FOR AUTOGRAPHS DAY IN AND DAY OUT AND I'M SICK OF IT! LEAVE ME THE BLOODY HELL ALONE! IT'S MY LIFE!"
The crowd stared at him in disbelief.
With that, Harry Apparated with a loud crack, arriving in the middle of the kitchen of Number Twelve, Grimmuald Place.
"Sorry guys, I really hate to eat and run, but its official, I'm moving." Harry stated as he grabbed a piece of cake and unwrapped his presents.
"But Harry—"
"You can't go!"
"Watch me!" Harry snarled as he shrunk his gifts (a sneakoscope, Gryffindor t-shirt, a new wand holster, Weasley products, and assorted chocolate) summoned his trunk, thanked Mrs. Weasley, and Apparated out.
Harry landed in Sidney, Australia. There he found an apartment right across from the dentist's office. He was even able to move in the very same day. A couple months later, he joined the Australian Wombats, an international Quidditch team as their star seeker, Akakios Cyrus.
In addition to joining the Wombats, Harry grew his hair out to his waist and wore it in a ponytail. He covered his nearly nonexistent scar with Muggle make up. Even if someone from England thought that they recognized him, they would never guess the truth.
It was the best choice he ever made. Now he was famous because of his skills, and not because he was the "Boy-Who-Lived"
He had even framed the article written about the fiasco in Diagon Alley.
HARRY POTTER BLOWS UP
Has Harry Potter finally gone mad?
This rabid reporter was in Diagon Alley when the "explosion" happened.
It was a nice day in Diagon where all were celebrating their savior's birth.
Out of nowhere, the man in question appears and shouts at the crowd:
"OI! LISTEN UP YOU SHEEP! I DON'T CARE THAT I DEFEATED VOLDEMORT FOR YOU LOT, BUT CAN'T A GUY SPEND HIS OWN BIRTHDAY IN PEACE? I GET ATTACKED FOR AUTOGRAPHS DAY IN AND DAY OUT AND I'M SICK OF IT! LEAVE ME THE BLOODY HELL ALONE! IT'S MY LIFE!"
After that outburst, Mr. Potter Disapparated and hasn't been seen since.
Harry Potter has gone to the Dark Side.
-Rita Skeeter
Harry got a chuckle just re-reading the article. That was the best birthday ever.
AN: Sorry about the wait, but I just realized that I should've posted this four days ago.