Disclaimer:
AN: The reviews from the last chapter were awesome! I love hearing that other people enjoy my ramblings. I am so sorry for the delay in getting this one out, but my jump drive was corrupted and I lost everything including my outline and story ideas, so I had to start over with what I could remember. Thankfully I was able to retrieve my previous chapters and save them once again. I hope you all enjoy this one!
Chapter 11
EPOV
The two medics in the helicopter were furiously working on Bella trying to assess her condition and bring up her core body temperature. It was dangerously low and staying to low for an extended period of time could lead to permanent damage to her brain and internal organs.
As I watched the one medic taking her vitals and radioing the trauma center, I sent up as many prayers as I could manage to the heavens for Bella to make it out of this unscathed.
The other medic was flushing Bella's system with heated IV fluids to help raise her temperature. I knew my time with Bella was limited. As soon as we landed she would be taken into trauma for a more specific evaluation by the team there. The doctors and staff were already on standby waiting for our arrival.
Not wanting to waste another moment with Bella, I leaned as close to her head as I could so that I could say the things that I knew I could never live without knowing I had said to her before she was taken from me at the hospital.
I leaned in gently stroking her hair because it was one of the few parts of her not covered by blankets, wires, or injury. She was barely recognizable under all of the medical paraphernalia.
"My beautiful, Bella. You have to stay strong and fight through this. I cannot imagine my life without you in it. I would have no life without you. I am going to spend the rest of my days showing you how much I love you, and I am sure that is not enough time to do it justice. I love you more than my own life,"
I whispered these words in Bella's ear not caring if the other people in the helicopter heard me or not. I would shout it from the rooftops if it would fix this disaster.
All too soon the helicopter began its descent onto the helipad at the hospital. I knew that as soon as we landed that Bella would be met by the trauma team and whisked away from me. I had no idea once she was taken from me how long it would be until I saw her again. I couldn't even begin to imagine that I may not see her again. The thought wasn't a possibility for me.
The landing was smoother than I expected. Just as I thought as soon as the helicopter was situated on the landing site the doors flew open and the medic team began yelling to the doctors and nurses waiting for Bella's arrival. I vaguely heard the information they were relaying, but my thoughts were still entirely focused on the beautiful girl about to me taken from me. I was able to kiss her head once more before she was lifted to the awaiting gurney and rushed at top speed to the waiting elevator. I swear my heart stopped beating for the briefest second when the doors shut and she was no longer in my sight.
Thankfully one of the medics took it upon himself to get me to the waiting room outside the emergency section of the hospital. I felt disconnected from myself. There was a significant portion of my soul in some other part of the hospital. Bella now held that part of me. I knew that I wouldn't be complete again until I was back with her, and saw her face.
The minutes became hours as I waited to hear from someone about Bella. At one point a kind nurse offered to contact someone for me, but I knew that I wasn't capable of talking right now. I felt horribly guilty because I knew my family would be worried about Bella, but I just couldn't muster the energy to call anyone.
After several hours a doctor appeared from the double doors at the end of the hall. This had happened several times through the evening, so I didn't pay much attention to him until he walked directly over to where I was sitting.
"Mr. Cullen?" he asked in a clear strong voice.
At the mention of my name my head shot up in his direction.
"Yes, that's me," I replied afraid to ask any questions.
"I was told that you were the gentleman that accompanied Miss Swan in from the accident scene. Are you here alone? Do you want to get your family?" he questioned again.
"Yes that was me. I am her boyfriend. We both work at the resort together. Our family is still stuck at the resort due to the avalanche blocking the road."
I couldn't stand the lack of information about Bella. I just wanted to know what was going on.
"Please Doctor, just tell me how is she? Can I see her? Is she awake?" I knew I sounded frantic, but I was dying not knowing how she was.
"On question at a time Mr. Cullen," the doctor admonished, but thankfully didn't pause in his answers to my questions.
"Miss Swan is a very lucky woman. Had she not been found when she was, the hypothermia would have done a severe amount of damage. As it stands it appears that she is fairing as well as could be expected. She has multiple lacerations to her face, but only a few stitches were required. Her left arm was broken from the impact and her ribs are bruised and one is cracked. Thankfully it did not damage her lungs. We were able to stabilize her body temperature and all other injuries appear superficial. That being said she has yet to regain consciousness. Although I am not surprised by this, the body has a way of knowing when to stay unconscious until it is safe to wake up. All the tests show that no brain damage has occurred, but only time will tell. "
As the doctor's words sunk in, I was torn between immense relief that Bella was relatively unscathed as far as injuries appeared. Nothing that wouldn't heal in time. However the knowledge that she still was unconscious was unsettling. I wanted to talk to her and tell her everything that I had come to realize in the last few hours.
"When can I see her?" I asked the doctor. I knew that even though she wasn't awake that I needed to be with her.
"They are getting her settled in a room right now. I'll have a nurse come get you as soon as she is settled. I assume you plan on staying here for the night," the doctor asked me.
"Yes, I plan in staying with Bella indefinitely," I replied. I wanted to make it clear that as long as Bella was at the hospital, I would be here with her.
The doctor nodded his head in acknowledgment and walked over to the nurse's station.
Taking a deep breath to try and settle myself, I pulled out my phone to call my family. I knew that they were as worried as I was about Bella.
Scrolling through the list of contacts, I called Alice first. Even though she and Bella had only known each other for a short time, I knew that Alice thought of Bella almost as a sister and she would be in a state of constant worry until she heard from me.
"Edward?" came a sleepy sounding Alice. I had no idea what time it was, but judging from her tone it must have been in the middle of the night.
"Yeah, Ally it's me. I'm sorry if I woke you."
"Edward, don't be an ass. How's Bella? Emmett told us what happened, but we had no way off getting a hold of you. We weren't entirely sure what hospital you were going to and the road is still blocked."
Taking a deep breath I reiterated all of the information that the doctor had just told me. Alice listened intently and then breathed a sigh of relief.
"Oh thank god, Edward. We were all so worried about her. Everyone will be so glad to hear the news. I just know that everything will be fine now."
"I hope so Alice. This has been a definite wake up call. I can't live without her, and I'll be damned if I'm going to let her go now. I just hope we can get through this mess."
Alice sighed on the other line before speaking, "Edward it will work out. I promise. I know that explaining everything won't be fun, but Bella is a reasonable woman. She'll listen to you."
God I hoped with everything I had that Alice was right. Right now all I could think about was getting Bella to recover. The next step would be getting her to understand the events that had led to this nightmare.
I saw the nurse headed in my direction, so I quickly hung up with Alice. She wished me well, and told me to give Bella a kiss from her. I told her I would call her in the morning or if anything changed during the night.
The nurse was polite and led me to the elevators. She explained that Bella was still unconscious, but that the doctor had made arrangements for me to stay with her. I was extremely grateful to him for that. Not that I planned on leaving Bella, but at least I didn't have to fight with anyone.
We walked down a hallway and she stopped outside a partially closed doorway.
"She's in here honey. I just checked on her, and she's doing fine. Just hit the button if you need me. I am here through the night," her voice was gentle and kind. I was glad that someone like her was caring for my Bella.
I stepped through the doorway and saw the curtain was drawn around the side of the bed, therefore obscuring my view of Bella.
I walked over and stepped around the curtain. Although the doctor had detailed Bella's injuries to me, I wasn't prepared for the sight in front of me. Bella looked incredibly pale and fragile laying there in that damn hospital bed. Her left arm was already in a cast. Her face was a mess of scrapes and cuts, a few with stitches. There were wires and tubes tangled across her leading to various machines and IV poles.
My knees nearly buckled seeing her all broken and still in that damn bed. It was heartbreaking to realize that in some way this was partially my fault. Rationally I knew that it was a big misunderstanding and that Bella's past was an influence as well, but I couldn't help feeling blame. Bella was truly a selfless, loving person who deserved none of the shit she had been through. I knew I would spend the rest of my life doing everything I could to make her realize just how much I loved her.
As carefully as I could I reached out for Bella's uninjured hand and held it in my own. Her skin was still as soft as I remembered. I sat down in the chair that was beside her bed and watched her even breathing. If you didn't know better you would think she was sleeping. Unfortunately I did know better.
I have no idea how long I sat there holding Bella's hand and rubbing soft circles onto its back, but eventually the nurse that had shown me to Bella's room stepped through the door. I gave her a brief glance and nod before resuming my gaze onto Bella's still features.
"Here, hon. I brought you some scrubs to throw on. You have to be uncomfortable in your gear there. Why don't you go and wash up in the bathroom while I check on her?" her voice was gentle but firm.
The last thing I wanted to do was leave Bella's side for even a minute, but I knew that sitting here in all my gear would eventually get unbearable. I hadn't realized what I had been wearing at the time, but now that someone had mentioned it the realization hit me.
I simply nodded in her direction before leaning over and kissing Bella's forehead.
"I'll be right back, beautiful," I whispered against her skin before grabbing the scrubs the nurse offered and hurrying to the bathroom to change.
I changed quickly and washed up as best I could in the small sink. I honestly didn't care about anything besides getting back to Bella. As soon as I was done I went straight back to sitting in the chair beside Bella's bedside. I grabbed her hand again and started rubbing it with my fingers. The nurse was writing some things down in Bella's chart.
"You know they say that even when people are unconscious they can hear what is going on around them. You should talk to her. I'm sure she is listening," said the nurse in her calm voice before leaving the room.
Having the medical background needed for the rescues on the resort, I had heard this information before. I knew that I wanted to say so many things to Bella right now, but some of them needed to be after she was awake. Knowing this, I took a deep breath and leaned closer to her beautiful face.
"Bella, I have so much I need to say to you, baby. I need you to wake up for me. I can't imagine what you were feeling when you saw what you did, but I swear to you I would never and will never hurt you. I love you more that my own life is worth. I plan on spending every moment of the rest of my life making sure you know that. Please, beautiful come back to me. I love you more that I can ever say in words," My voice was cracking as I plead for her to wake up for me. I didn't want to delve into any explanations about what happened, but I wanted her to know how much I loved her and needed her to be in my life.
After another period of unknown amount of time had passed, I felt the sheer pull of exhaustion tugging at me. I had no intention of leaving her side though. Instead I laid my head down on her bed beside the hand that I was holding and closed my eyes promising myself that I would only close them briefly to recharge my energy. However once my eyes drifted closed, the sheer exhaustion took over and I fell asleep holding onto Bella's hand as if it was my anchor to survival.
My dreams drifted from images of Bella and me together, to images of Bella alone, and finally settling on the horrific memories of the avalanche and rescue. I desperately tried to awaken so that those images would vacate my mind, but it seemed fruitless. What was worse is that it seemed that in addition to those images was the distant voice of Bella calling my name over and over again. It was so unsettling to hear my name coming from the woman I loved, but she seemed so far away.
Eventually I heard my name being spoken even louder, "Edward. Edward, wake up!"
What the hell! Who was telling me to wake up? This was getting out of control.
Slowly though my subconscious started pointing it together and I realized that the voice I was hearing was not in my dreams, but was beside me calling my name.
Slowly the realization set in and I realized that the person calling my name was Bella. She was awake! She was awake and I was stupidly in a half state between dreaming and awareness. As soon as this reality sunk in, I jerked my head up and looked at the most beautiful sight in the world. The woman I loved was staring right back at me with those amazingly beautiful brown eyes.
"Oh my beautiful, Bella, I have never been so happy to see that beautiful face of yours than I am right now," I spoke these words in a fierce but hushed voice not wanting to startle her, but I needed her to hear my words.
I watched her facial expression to from surprise to confusion as my words sunk in. I could only imagine what was running through her head right now. Not only did she think that I was kissing Tanya and repeating the most atrocious time in her life, but she most likely had no idea what the hell had happened to land her here in this hospital and most likely in a fair amount of pain.
Before I could open my mouth to begin to explain any of this Bella spoke in a raspy whisper, "Edward, what happened? Where am I?"
Taking a deep breath, I sorted through my thoughts trying to decide what to say first, I desperately wanted to explain about the mishap with that bitch Tanya to clear that up right away, but I knew that it was not at the top of the priority list right now.
As quickly as possible, I filled Bella in on the logistics of the avalanche, the rescue, and her injuries as a result of everything. I resisted telling her about the events leading up to the avalanche or to the revelations that I had come to since the disastrous event that very well could have taken her from my life permanently.
Bella listened intently to my explanations and nodded now and then to let me know she was taking all the information in, but she never said anything directly to me in words. When I finished talking I waited letting everything I had just said sink in for her. I wasn't sure what I expected from her, but when she finally did speak, her words nearly broke my heart.
"Okay I understand now why I am here in the hospital, and I vaguely remember the accident. The beginning at last, but I am still unclear about something."
Her voice was barely a whisper as she continued with the most painful question I could imagine at that moment, "Edward, why are you here with me?"
I knew then that I had a lot to explain to her and none of it would be easy. I sent up what seemed like the hundredth plea to the heavens that she would listen to me and believe me when I explained this mess to her.
Taking a deep breath trying to calm my nerves, I looked at her beautiful face and opened my mouth to speak.
AN: Once again, I apologize for the delay in posting. I swear it was not my intention and I will try not to go so long again. I know when I am reading a story, long delays in posts drive me nuts. So thanks to my readers in advance for your patience. Please read and review! I love each and every one!