I'm staring at the offending carrot stick, and it sucks, but I choke it down. Stress makes me eat. And unfortunately, stress can be difficult to keep under control.

I plug my nose and chew the last carrot stick of four, and I feel like throwing up. I rinse out my mouth with a cheap beer and lie down. I hate myself for a little while before I finally get numbed enough by the beer to forget everything. I forget Craig, and Kyle and my weight and everything and I just lay there.

But the buzz wears off eventually and I'm too tired to go get another beer. It's the middle of the day, on a weekend no less, but I feel like I could pass out any second from either fatigue or hunger. I ring Craig again. He continues not to answer his cell, which I don't really blame him for. It's not like I really want to get back with the guy, but the guilt has been eating away at me for the last three days.

So Craig doesn't pick up. I text him instead, leaving yet another 'please talk to me babe' on his phone before drifting off. Maybe a dreamless sleep isn't all that great, but most of the time, it's better than being awake.

I wake up just minutes later, jumping into the air off my couch to the sound of my phone ringing right in my ear. I sit up and slide the damn thing open, grabbing my half-empty beer along the way.

"Hello?"

"Kenny."

"Craig."

I sat there for a moment in silence as Craig spoke. I sipped on my beer and actually listened for once.

"You know what? You have your problems, but I can't help every fucking person I know with their issues, you got that? Everyone's got shit like you do, Ken, okay?" I said okay. He seemed to calm down a bit. "Sorry... we're both stressed out a lot..."

I set down my illegally-alcoholic drink and played with my hair absently. I almost didn't notice when Craig's voice got a lot more quiet and his tone got a lot more serious. "But that doesn't mean I'm gonna let you walk all over me, dude. You obviously have a thing for... for him."

"Kyle?"

Craig coughed. "Yeah. And... I kinda, uh, I guess I like you."

I stopped playing with my hair and sat up in surprise. Craig's never said anything like that. Ever. "What? I-I thought..."

"Kenny, I'm sorry... forget I said anything," Craig murmured. Great, now I feel bad.

"Christ, Craig..." I ran my fingers through my messy hair and looked for the words to let him down easy. "Look, I'm real sorry, but I don't really see you as more than just a friend with benefits kinda thing, you know?" I said. "I thought we both felt the same way," I added quietly. I could feel the carrot sticks jumping around in my stomach.

Dial tone. Shit.

I sigh and sit up, feeling like a shitbag. I try calling him back, but as I expected, he doesn't pick up. I try Kyle instead, desperately needing to get my mind off of everything.

"Hello?" Kyle says.

"It's Kenny," I say quickly. "Wanna hang out? I... I don't want to be alone right now, dude." I can't believe that I have to hold back tears. I never had feelings for Craig in the first place. So why do I feel so terrible?

I hear the tapping of Kyle's keyboard before he says, "Sure, Ken, come on over. You don't sound so good, man." I thanked the Jew and hung up, finishing off my beer and stepping outside into the freezing cold outdoors of South Park.

Three minutes later I ring Kyle's doorbell, put out my cigarette and dust the snow out of my hair. The door opens, and I look up from my shoes, right into Kyle's gorgeous green irises. "Hey," I say calmly.

Kyle gives me a small smile and lets me in. His house has that nice Broflovski smell I've known since kindergarten, and I breathe it in deeply. It's a mixture between scented candles and cookies, due to Kyle's mother's love of baking.

"So what's wrong?" Kyle asks me as we head upstairs to his room.

I shrug. "Same old, same old." Kyle nods, not fully listening. We enter his bedroom, and Kyle heads for his computer. I look at the screen over his shoulder and notice he's in a conversation with Rebecca. My heart sinks a bit, wishing I could have Kyle to myself for once, but I don't say anything as Kyle types out a message.

"What's up? How was that physics test you had the other day?" I asked, trying to get the redhead's attention.

Kyle shrugs. "It was okay. I didn't really study, though." I nod, glancing at the computer screen again and sighed discreetly. My stomach groans loudly and Kyle looks over to me. "Hungry?" he asks. I shake my head 'no' immediately. Kyle raises an eyebrow at me and says "You sure? We have some leftover pizza downstairs if you want."

I shake my head again. "I'm fine," I insist quietly. Like I need more food.

Eventually Kyle shuts off his computer and we proceed to play Street Fighter for a while.

But then Rebecca calls, and Kyle pauses the game to talk to her. I sigh, shoving my hands into my jeans pockets. Fifteen minutes later of me laying on Kyle's bedroom floor and I've had enough. I stand up and head for the door. "I'll see you later, dude," I murmur. Kyle doesn't even notice as I leave.

I light up a cigarette as soon as I step outside, and ponder what I'm to do now. I could go back home... but my dad's probably home by now. I could try Craig's place, but I doubt he'd let me in.

I decide to try Butters' place. He's cool to hang with, but our personalities clash quite a bit. Example A: I come on to him, and he thinks I'm just 'confused'. But I start down the road towards the kid's place anyways.

A few moments later, I hear a sound. It almost sounds like... someone laying on their horn. I curse and whip my head around just in time to see a large truck swerving out of control on the icy road. It rolls over and I scream as it crushes me flat, and I know I'm dead again.

Dammit.

A/N: Sorry for a slow update... review anyways? :3