AN: …I'm still alive… Barely… Sasuke and Itachi are ready to kill me…. So's Kyuubi…

Kyuubi: *growls threateningly*

Uchihas: *Glare at me as they hold Naruto*

…Yeah… Well… I'm quickly type this and pray I get away with my life. This is a random fic that kind of just popped up in my head.

Naruto and company is © Masashi Kishimoto

I make no profit from these stories, just practice for my writing skills and reviews that make me happy.

Remember people: OOC, PWP, Random, ItaSasuNaru threesome

CHAPTER 3: Sasuke, Protective Uchiha

I walk into the room and glare at the therapist. I scoff as she gives me a sheepish smile from her chair. At least she has the decency to feel bad for making Naruto cry.

"Um, let's see here, Sasuke Uchiha. You go to the same school as Naruto?" She asks.

I raise an eyebrow at her. What is she getting at? "Yes…?"

"Okay, when did first take an interest in him?"

Ah, I see the whole 'I'm convinced you're after the blond for his body' thing. Not gonna happen. "After I met him, and got to know him. He's quiet the kind one. Easy target for bullies and such." I say giving her a smug smile.

To my annoyance she just nods and writes something down. "Okay, when did your brother meet him?"

I glare at her, what is with her. "I brought him over for dinner so that I could show him where I live and introduce him to my brother…"

"I see. Now, when did you and Naruto first have intercourse?"

I stand up and glare at her. "I refuse to answer."

"Wrong answer Sasuke," I look at her as the door locks and she stands. "I'll let you out when you answer my question and the session is over."

I growl, "No way in hell. I'm leaving now." She rolls her eyes at me, and I reach for the spare kunai I keep on hand, only it's not there.

"Looking for this?" she waves the small knife in front of me and throws it out the window. Where the hell did the window come from?

I grumble under my breath as I sit down and glare at her.

She ignores me and start to type something on her laptop. I look up as a picture starts to form on the over head screen.

To my horror, I start to gap like a goldfish at the movie of not a few months ago we made. It had been Itachi's birthday and to both his and my surprise, Naruto got up, and, wearing nothing but a frilly pink apron, made Itachi a vanilla-chocolate cake. Itachi had loved it, but that's not what I'm pissed about. In the video Naruto and me had done a strip tease for Itachi, in the kitchen, and this lady somehow got the video.

"I'm not afraid to play dirty, Sasuke, now answer my question."

I glare at her and mumbled the answer. She rolls her eyes, but takes the answer. As she's writing I pounce, knocking her right of her chair and onto the group with a loud yelp, "Off! Off!" She yells and kicks me off of her.

She glares at me and I glare back. She gets up and picks up her notes. As I look down at the papers, she took the time to throw a stress ball at me. A STRESS BALL!

"You, squeeze that! You're way to tense!" She yells and points this staff at me.

What the hell? Where did she get that thing!

I do as she ask while looking around for where she could have hidden that, thing is… her office is completely empty besides a couch, three plush chairs, two love seats, and, to my wonder, one of those rounded bubble chairs overflowing with plush dolls, animals, and pillows. She was sitting in it and I wondered how she could even get out of there, it swallowed her whole.

"Um… Sasuke…?" I look at her. "Um… I'm stuck…" I stare at her blankly.

Really…Just…really…? She's stuck. In that plush chair of doom…?

"Can I have some help please….?"

I stare at her. You've got to be kidding. I sigh as I help her. I pull on her arm, she doesn't budge. I glare at her and she glares back.

"Not my fault! I'm stuck!"

We do this another five times. Each time, she just seems to sink in their even more. I run to the door, "Itachi, the therapist is stuck." I call. My aniki walks in and stares the girl in the chair. He gives me the 'you've got to be kidding' look. "No, I am not. Now help me get her out."

"Why? She made Naruto cry?" He glares at he.

"Aniki, as much as I'd like to leave her here like that, the sooner we get her out, the sooner we finish these sessions, the sooner we can go home and never come back."

That got him moving. He was over by her chair and holding a very small therapist by the back of her shirt in no time.

"Put me down!" She yells and starts to wave her arms around.

I look at Aniki, and he is not happy. He drops her right back into the plushy, fluffy mess he took her from.

"I'm going back to Naruto…" And with that he left. I sit back down as Dr. Bethani get's her bearing.

"Okay…. Well… When is your guy's anniversary?" She ask all of a sudden.

"Huh…? Next month…. Why?"

She looks at me like I asked the stupid question, "How long are you celebrating?"

"Almost a year…."

"Okay. That's good for you guys!" She gave me this smile and I wondered if everything was right up in her head for the millionth time that day. "Last question, then I'll talk to your brother," I wait for her to ask, "Do you plan to get Naruto pregnant? I mean, since Kyuubi is using his chakra to do so, do you want kids?"

"WHAT THE HELL?" I yell and pounce to strangle her.

She 'Eeps!' and runs around the office yelling about how Kyuubi is using his chakra to try and get Naruto to carry children.

"We're all guys! We can't have kids!"

"He can, Kyuubi can do it!" She yells and I chase her all the way out the room, to Itachi and Naruto's amusement, down the hall, out the building, and down the street and back to the room.

She kept yelling and finally dismissed me. I stalked out of the room to my lovers. I held my arms open for Naruto and motioned with my head that it was Itachi's turn. "Come Naruto, you can tell me what you and Itachi planed while I was trying to kill that insane bitch.

Naruto laughed and told me about the movie plan and about how funny it was when I chased her out of the room and building and back. I smile and snuggle to Naruto, resting my head on top of his. This si the life….

AN: Yeah… short… And plotless… PWP people. Now it's Itachi's turn, and we all know how moody he can be. Thank god he ain't a woman. Can you imagine the mood swings he'd have?

Itachi: *Pulls out a sword and glares*

Shit! I'm out of here! You all can imagine your own stuff! I'm gonna run for my life now! *Runs with a very pissed off Itachi chasing after me with a bloody dagger and shiny new sword* WHERE THE HELL DO YOU EVEN GET THAT STUFF?