Chapter 7: World War Three
House entered the clinic doors of the hospital later than he expected. After leaving Cuddy's he had run back to his place, showered and changed, and stopped for something to eat before finally making his way to the hospital. The rain still came down in sheets but the thunder had stopped. There would be no lounging on his patio today so the idea of sharing the office was once again fresh in his mind.
"House we need to talk," Wilson said as he came out of the clinic and walked beside his friend.
"Where are the twiddles?" House asked.
"They are doing rounds," Wilson answered.
"So what do you want to talk about?" House asked crossing the lobby.
"Look, House, I know the conditions are less than ideal right now. I had no idea that I would need to use your office when I accepted the fellowships, but I have been thinking it over and I really think it will be good for my department. Ultimately it won't be for very long and then we will be out of your hair," Wilson said apologetically.
"The up side to all of this, Wilson, is that they are putting your team in a closet," House said with a laugh, "I'll deal for now, smile and play nice, but watch yourself Wilson, my posse rules this yard!"
"I beg your pardon?" Wilson asked in confusion.
"We have years on your guys!" House said confidently, "my guys could out-diagnose your guys any day- with their eyes closed, and their hands tied behind their backs. Hey, that's sounds kind of kinky!" House concluded. "Makes me miss Thirteen for some reason" House added, smiling and raising a suggestive eyebrow at Wilson.
"Then why is it that you still call me in for consults on differentials where cancer may be involved? That's what I thought," Wilson said, answering his own question with a smirk on his face. "Ooooh SNAP!" Wilson finished, laughing.
"Oh Wilson, them be fightin' words!" House said, "You better watch yourself."
"I'm not afraid of you House!" Wilson laughed.
"My team is twice the size of your team!" House said mockingly. "In a fight to the death, I am sure to win."
"You have the disadvantage," Wilson mocked, "your team is all damaged goods, and their ring leader is a cripple!"
"Low blow Wilson, that was below the belt," House said warningly.
"I've never known you to play fair," Wilson mocked.
"We'll see who comes out on top of this one, Wilson," House said as he saw Cuddy coming out of her office, "I am the Germany to your Poland!"
"House!" Cuddy called across the lobby.
"Hey momma," House said.
"How's Rachel?" she asked.
"You aren't going to ask him why he's so late coming in today," Wilson asked stunned.
"He was with Rachel all morning. The thunder upset her and she clung to him." Cuddy said. "How did you get away?" she asked as she turned to House.
"I may or may not have made up a little story to put Rachel at ease." He said avoiding eye contact with either Wilson or Cuddy.
"What did you tell her?" Cuddy asked.
"Um… well it's a funny story. She brought up God being angry, so I countered with not anger, but just loudness, and finished with Elijah and Moses bowling in that huge alley in the sky." House said.
Cuddy laughed, "and she bought it?"
"Hook, line and sinker," House said.
"Well played sir," Cuddy smiled and headed back to her office.
"Did you just get an A+ in parenting 101?" Wilson asked.
"You can bet your ass I!" House said triumphantly. "That brings the score to House 1, Wilson nothing!" he cheered. "Actually the score is House 2, because I managed a patio make over. I don't see sweet furniture on your balcony!"
"And yet, I am still in your office, with my new fellows and can be there as often as I like." Wilson stated.
"You won't want to be there long," House said moving to hit the elevator button. "I'm watching you Wilson, sleep with one eye open!"
"Alright Hitler, but remember, you lost the war in the end!" Wilson said and turned back to the clinic just as the elevator doors opened to reveal Cicciliano.
"What was that?" she asked as he stepped into the elevator with her.
"In the game of life, there are winners and there are losers my dear Mussolini," House stated, "many, many losers" he emphasized. "Prepare yourself for Stalingrad,-winter is coming."