Chapter 13: Waiting in Anticipation.
House and his team left the hospital shortly after Wilson took his team off to start their rounds. They wanted to be far enough away to not be present to be forced to make the clean up. Stopping on their way to House's they picked up take out and wine and gathered together to wait out the remainder of the day before sneaking back in for the last in their battle strategy. Forman had brought the box that Taub had filled with latex gloves with him. The plan was to fill the gloves like balloons while they waited and they would return with garbage bags filled later in the evening.
The team gathered around House's living room, as House placed himself at the piano. The wine was uncorked and the impromptu staff party commenced.
"What do you think they will do in retaliation?" Taub asked. "Should we all sleep with one eye open?"
"They don't seem that creative," House stated.
"The door hinges was good, but it would have only worked with that kind of door. It was kinda obvious," Chase said.
"They haven't done anything directed at the team," Forman added, "Everything so far has been directed at House."
"Take out the Shepherd and the ship is doomed," Cicciliano stated, "its an obvious battle strategy, Wilson just isn't one to retaliate. I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't even know that his team had taken steps to sabotage us."
"The difference between us, is that we have been working together for far longer," Chase answered, "House's methods of teaching is to get us to do all the work ourselves before he has to step in, whereas Wilson will try to lead his team. They don't realize we can survive without House and come up with our own ideas to work against them."
"And because we're bored with how slow everything has been we have a lot of time on our hands," Forman laughed.
"You need me," House stated as he played the theme from M*A*S*H on the piano, "I've come up with some of the better ideas we've had."
"You always come up with the better idea, the better diagnosis," Taub said.
"The right diagnosis," House added.
Once the team had exhausted the take out they had brought, pizza was ordered and the gloves began to fill House's living room.
"I feel light-headed!" Cicciliano giggled as she tied off another rubber glove and shoved it into a garbage bag.
"Mussolini you are cut off," House said taking her wine glass away, "we still have to get back to the hospital. I need you sober enough to drive." He added.
"We brought saline in the event the Italian can't hold her wine!" Chase teased.
"You want to hook me up to a saline drip to curb my intoxication?" Cicciliano asked insulted by the idea.
"It's happened before!" Forman smiled, "I am sure it will happen again!"
"Or you could just start drinking coffee," Taub said as the phone began to ring.
"Alright team here we go!" House said as he put the phone on speaker and motioned to everyone to be quiet.
"House what were you thinking?" Cuddy asked over the phone.
"I was thinking that it was ironic to use a song like suicide is painless for a show about officers running a mobile hospital unit in the midst of a war," House said.
"You know what I mean!" Cuddy said.
"Is Wilson being a whiner?" House asked.
"You toilet papered his office and flooded his balcony with god knows what." Cuddy practically yelled.
"It wasn't me!" House said sarcastically, "it was my evil twin."
"House I want this foolishness to stop!" Cuddy said. "The hospital is not your fraternity; I can't have you pulling these childish pranks! You are setting a terrible example for Rachel and it's unprofessional."
"I'm not the only one to blame!" House said, "my team has been instrumental in the concocting of these random acts of hilarity!" he said.
"They aren't random, they are to get Wilson and his team out of your office," Cuddy said annoyed.
"Yeah, and they are funny!" House laughed.
"Wilson and his fellows move into their new office tomorrow. You'll be left alone. This stupid war between you had better end." Cuddy said and hung up.
"I'm in trouble!" House sang.
"We're almost finished with these!" Chase said as he let one of the rubber gloves fly around House's apartment.
"The final phase of our evil scheme is about to begin." House smiled and put on a pot of coffee.