i'd have to say that this is my favorite chapter so far. enjoy!
DISCLAIMER: why do we need to put these? we don't own anything.
POV: James Diamond
Great. I sighed and stood up, leaving them all in the studio.
I set out on the streets of LA, not really caring what happened to me anymore. I just wanted to die. Having all the tabloids across the country saying I was gay was one thing. Having my dreams crushed was another.
I heard thunder above me, and rain started pouring down. I was soaked – but I didn't care anymore. Nothing mattered anymore. I didn't care if I got hit by a bus and died. Hmm… that actually sounded like a good idea at the moment.
Watching traffic run across the busy streets, I thought about when I would run out in front of something. With the rain, I hardly noticed the tears streaming down my cheeks.
"James!" The voice was distant, but I heard it. I looked to my right and saw Kendall running towards me. I still had time to step into the street if I wanted to.
I watched the cars racing past me, coming from the left. I walked out into the street; eyes clenched shut, and kept walking.
The next thing I knew, I tripped on the small platform in the middle of the street. I hadn't gotten hit.
"James!" Kendall was still running towards me. I didn't want anyone right now. Just me and Death.
Taking a step in the other side of the street came next. A big semi was coming, and they can't always stop very fast. I just wanted to get this over with. Let go of my life.
"JAMES!"
I didn't want to listen to his voice anymore. He was a lot closer, but I just stood there in the middle of the street, waiting for everything to go black and never come back again.
Someone grabbed me around my waist, pulling me to the concrete platform dividing the street. "James, what the fuck is wrong with you?"
I saw the semi pass us, and I stared at it, just wishing that it had hit me. But it was too late now. I couldn't ever get a good chance like that back ever again.
"James, why are you being like this? You can try to make it again. It's not over for you."
"Kendall…" I moaned. More tears streaked down my face. "Go away."
"No! Dammit, you could've died!"
"I want to, Kendall…"
"No, you don't. You aren't thinking straight. You do not want to kill yourself. You've still got a good seventy-plus years in you. I'm not gonna let you cut it short. You have a future. You've got a lot coming for you. You just have to let it get there." He held me close to him and let me cry into his shoulder.
I just let it all go. I needed this band – I wanted it. It was my only ticket to the fame that I'd always wanted. But now that Wayne-Wayne was replacing me… I didn't want any of it anymore. I just wanted to greet Death with arms wide open.
"Well I just heard the news today. It seems my life is gonna change," I sang. "I closed my eyes, began to pray. And tears of joy streamed down my face."
Kendall started singing with me. "With arms wide open, under the sunlight. Welcome to this place. I'll show you everything. With arms wide open, with arms wide open."
I always knew that we'd harmonized great together. But with me laying in his arms and us singing together… it just felt all different. It sounded different.
Logan and Carlos came up beside us. They always hadn't been the fastest runners, but at least they cared enough to come after me.
"What happened?" Carlos asked.
"James went all suicidal on us, but I got him just in time," Kendall explained briefly.
I felt Logan's hand on my shoulder, comforting me. Tears were still flowing from my eyes, but I felt better inside. They really did care enough to come all this way to make sure that I didn't kill myself.
"James, what's wrong with you?" Carlos asked. "Do you even know what day it is?"
"It's September 18th," I answered.
"Oh. I thought it was April 1st. I guess Gustavo really did kick you out of the band, then."
A whole new round of sobs came on. I just couldn't take it anymore.
R&R!