I stared at my brother in silence. I don't think I can do anything anymore. Thinking seems to complicated right now and leaving this room would be wrong. Police officers and medics kept trying to ask me questions about the suicide. I wanted to open my mouth saying this was anything but suicide but no one would hear me anyway. Is he really dead?

"I'm sorry you had to see this, son." Dad said shaking his head as he glared at the body. "No son of mine would kill himself, it was cowardice. I don't even want to give this brat a funeral. We'll just burry him in a hole at the cemetery. If it wasn't illegal we'd do it in the backyard." I ignored him completely knowing he never cared about Roxas. What would he say if he knew the truth?

Mom was crying in a corner so I turned around and walked up to her, I have to. If I didn't then I would probably be kneeling beside him but instead I have to go console her. Her eyes were wide and red looking shocked and broken at the same time. "He told me to tell you that you it's not your fault." I whispered looking into her eyes.

She looked at me with so much hope in her eyes, which soon turned to bitterness and pain. "He talked to you before he died?" She asked making me nod. Mom's eyes were so soft and so sad… what have I done? "What did he tell you?"

"Hand me the gun, Sora. Please tell mom this isn't her fault and make sure Axel gets anything he wants in this room." I stared at him in shock and then dropped the gun fleeing from the room. Why would he accept this? I'm killing him! Fumbling with the phone I called 911 wanting to save him… how did I… why didn't I realize that this isn't his fault? I guess I'm just an idiot; killing the one person who cares about me, killing my twin who means the world to me.

"Nothing." I whispered. "He told me nothing… except about you and to give Axel anything of his that the redhead wants." I murmured then my eyes widened in horror, running to his room I grabbed his phone off the floor, complaining from the cops was barely acknowledged and went to recent calls. Tears poured down my face when I saw he had called Axel. I ignored it and called the redhead.

"Hey Baby, I was just about to hear your voicemail." He said on the other line. I took a deep breath then started to speak.

"Roxas is dead." I said blankly wanting to get rid of the emptiness and pain inside my chest. There was silence on the other end letting me know he had heard. I guess it's hard to believe your best friend is dead, especially when you've had a crush on him since you were eight.

"Stop lying, Sora. Put Roxas on the line." He growled making me glare and allow the tears to fall. I pulled the phone down so it was at my dead brother's ear.

"Hear that Axel? This is all Roxas can say now since he died twenty minutes ago!" I shouted angrily into the phone. Glancing down at the screen I noticed that the redhead had hung up. Dad and Mom looked at me like I'm a completely different person, that's when Squall got home. He took one look at the dead body and then his face was like stone. Nothing showed but I could sense the pain and rage inside of him.

"Who did it?" He demanded. I paled and took a step back but no one noticed, they were too busy staring at the enraged Squall. He's never been this incredibly upset, and it's scaring me. He might be the only person who knows that Roxas didn't want to die. He never wanted to die. My eyes stung from all the crying and felt like they were covered in bruises, even so… I stared evenly at Squall.

"It was suicide." Dad said calmly walking over to his eldest. He put his hand on my brother's shoulder but immediately Squall tossed it off. He doesn't disobey Dad. No matter what happens that's the one thing that he always does, obeying his father.

"No it wasn't. Dad, just last week Roxas was telling me he wants to be a song writer, he was really happy about it and wanted to give the lyrics he wrote to Demyx and Axel on his seventeenth birthday." He said looking incredibly animated and happy but when he saw Roxas's dead form on the ground he paled and glared at the floor. I guess I'm surprised that he cares; I guess I thought that no one did.

"Sora was the only one here during the suicide." Mom said softly looking at me with her kind and bitter eyes. I nodded but couldn't bring myself to look at either of my brothers. Instead I left to my room. Soon I could hear the sound of fighting and then I could hear Axel's voice, louder than anyone else's begging for Roxas to come back.

I laid down on my bed and closed my eyes. Tomorrow will be another day… a day my brother will never get to see but it will still be another day. Time waits for no one… but I wish it would save him. My brother is perfect and precious, he didn't deserve to die. This was all my fault and now I don't know what to do.

When I woke up the next day I took a deep breath and went on with my daily routine. I was up a bit earlier than normal but that's good, I can't afford to get another tardy. Walking past Roxas's room I stopped. Looking at the door I just stared. He's not coming out of that room is he?

Suddenly Squall moved from behind me and headed out the door. "I don't know why he would kill himself." My older brother murmured and kept going. His eyes weren't red and puffy like mine but I could see the hidden threat within them willing to do anyone harm that got in his way today.

When I was younger I used to get really excited whenever I had a reason to miss school, old relatives passing away or young aunts. I didn't care about them so it was fine. One free day away from school, sometimes even a week, but my brother, Roxas would always tell me that their spirits are going to haunt me for not caring.

I won't be missing school because of his death.

Heading out of the building I was surprised to see Riku waiting for me, I know the guy's liked me for as long as we've known each other but I didn't know the extent of how much he cared. "Are you alright?" Riku asked making me stop and glare at him. I just killed my brother. I shot him through the chest wanting him to die and now I regret it. How lame is that? Why did I do something so damn stupid?

"My brother is dead, Riku. How the hell do you think I'm supposed to feel?" I demanded and walked even faster, I'm not going to be late today. Roxas is never late and I never will be either. Everyone is going to think horrible thoughts about him killing himself! How the fuck is Squall just getting over this so fast? He knew! He knew it was a murder and yet now that he knows I witnessed it… he just stopped caring. Why doesn't anyone care about my hero?

"I'm sorry… I just couldn't think of something better to say." The silver haired man sighed. I don't want to deal with him, he didn't even know Roxas all that well… oh shit… the nobodies! What are they going to do? One of their own died and it was my fault! It was all my fault!

"Leave me the fuck alone today." I growled and headed into the building. I got to class on time making everyone look at me shocked. When the announcements came on… and they found out about Roxas, they all thought they understood. But they don't. Roxas is dead. The guy with my same last name who sat next to me in every fucking class we have together… he's dead.

And no one gives a damn.

"Are you okay?" Kairi asked licking her lips while exposing some of her chest to me. I ignored her not wanting to bother with this slut today. She doesn't care, not at all. To my surprise Namine stood up and sat down in Roxas's seat. Glaring at everyone who looked at me she then placed a hand on top of my head.

"This was really messed up." Is all she said to me during that class, with the blond around, no one came near me. I guess in these situations you find out who really cares. I vaguely remember seeing her around my brother from time to time. I guess she understands better than anyone here. Even the teacher didn't give a fuck about him but that's fine. I doubted he would anyway.

Once class ended the next one was like a blur. All classes without Roxas were except during lunch. I never hung out with him even though we had it together, but I know where his group goes. I took my lunch and walked over there ignoring the protests and complaints. They have to care. If no one else does then at least his friends should.

Demyx was playing his guitar while looking at a piece of paper, my eyes widened noticing Roxas's handwriting on it. "I never thought I'd die alone, I laugh the loudest who'd have known." The blond started making Axel turn away and cover his face, I held a hand up to my mouth and felt the tears fall down.

"Stop singing Demyx. I doubt any of us are ready to hear this." Zexion whispered softly patting the blond's shoulder. I collapsed where I stood and clutched the grass tightly in my hands. Why can't this be fake? I don't want to feel the damp grass or see how green it is, I don't want to feel the sweat coming up from behind my neck and how my blood feels like ice. I don't want to feel nothing at all except for this numbness… WHY CAN'T I FEEL THE PAIN AND GUILT OF WHAT I'VE DONE?

"He called me." Axel said softly making my eyes widen. No… he told Axel. He told the redhead something… I don't know he must have though. He must have because of the way the redhead is staring at me… But… if Roxas told him then why would he look at me in pity?

"He tried to call me while he was dying but I was downstairs talking to my parents about homework, the stupidest thing in the world to be doing when my best friend, the man I fell in love with when I was eight, died. He wanted to talk to me of all fucking people and I was downstairs when I could have gotten my phone at any time… I wasn't near it. I didn't even take the voicemail seriously. I am so fucking glad I didn't delete the message… I wanted to talk to him about it today." I stared at the redhead and felt new tears come just for him.

I screwed up.

I totally and completely screwed up. Can't even remember why I killed him now but I did. There's nothing more I can do. If I go to jail my life is over… and I can't do that. I need to live for Roxas… I need to become Roxas.

"I miss him too." I choked out feeling this new resolution pound through me.