Disclaimer: All Harry Potter characters, spells, etc. belong to JK Rowling. I made nothing original in this story except for the plot. Oh, and the songs. I wrote those, as well.

Harry Potter and the Discontinuity Factor

Act 2, Scene 4

Dumbledore: Draco, what are you doing?

Draco: I'm here under orders to get rid of you.

Hermione: Do you really think you're able to kill us, Malfoy?

Draco: I could kill you! I just… I just think it better if I let you squirm for a while.

Ron: Y'know, if you were out to kill us, you would've done it by now. I mean, think of all the crap we've done to you, all the pranks we've pulled…

Harry: Yeah, Draco, so just drop the tough guy act and let us pass.

Draco: I can't!

Hermione: Well why not?

Draco: (looking away) Oh, you wouldn't understand.

Ginny: (slightly annoyed) Try us. I'm sure we've dealt with quite a bit.

Draco: Well, you see… I'm doing this all for the Dark Lady, Cho Chang.

Luna: (excited) Oh boy, there's a song coming up for sure!

Draco: Over the past few weeks, I've grown attached to her… (song, "The Ballad of Draco and Cho", begins)

Draco: (singing)
I used to think the girl was just another stereotype
She always seemed so prissy and proper
Straight A's, a pretty face
Every parent's dream of a perfect daughter

But I saw the passion she had for revenge
Embracing the evil like it was always there
How she talked, how she walked
I fell in love with her right then and there

She's got an air of superiority
She knows what she wants and she'll get it
She's someone with real authority
And so now, I will vow
To follow her rule and never regret it

I'm just a boy who's found a woman he adores
And now I will stand by her evermore
Just a boy who's found a woman he adores
And now I will stand by her evermore

To watch her stand up to Snape and Moody
Made me feel all fuzzy inside
Her sense of pride filled my mind
I thought Pansy was the only one to fill me with fright

Harry: (speaking) Only when you look at her face… (Draco glares at him)

Draco: (singing)
I'm just a boy who's found a woman he adores
And now I will stand by her evermore
Just a boy who's found a woman he adores
And now I will stand by her evermore

Ron: (speaking) Listen, mate, I may not be able to stand you, but…

Ron: (singing)
The way that you talk makes you sound like a stalker
Chasing her like a dog, and she's your master
Pretty strange, but you can change
If Harry's any indication, she'll only lead to your disaster

Harry: (speaking) Yeah! Wait, what? Ron! (Hermione is heard giggling)

Ron: (singing)
So don't be stupid and try to follow her
She'll only lead you to your demise
'Cause when she's done, with her fun
She'll get rid of you, and leave you with nothing but lies

You may have found a woman you adore
But she won't care for you evermore
You may have found a woman you adore
But she won't care for you evermore

Draco: (speaking) No! No no no! You're just tricking me, trying to make me go against the Dark Lady! I won't let you mess with me anymore! (pulls out wand)

Hermione: (speaking) Ron! You can't possibly think that making fun of him is going to help him!

Ginny: (speaking) (slaps Ron in the back of his head) You big twit! Let's try something else, maybe something that would actually be effective…

Ginny: (singing) (as she sings, she approaches Draco)
She may seem like the perfect girl on the outside
But does she treat you right, does she care about you?
Or how you feel? It's surreal
To think that someone that cares wouldn't talk to you

(Ginny should be right next to Draco now)

Draco: (speaking) (wavering, loses confidence as his speaking continues) Well, sure, she doesn't ask me those things… but it's because she's busy… too busy… for me… right now…

Ginny: (singing)
Doesn't it seem strange that you'll blindly follow her?
Being her instrument when she doesn't even know you?
Or who you are? It's bizarre
Have you ever thought that she's the piece that's out of tune?

She's used all of her authority
She got what she wants and she's fine
You'll see the results of her priorities
You'll be gone, you'll feel wronged
When she's on top and you're at the back of her mind

So try to find another woman to adore
One that will stand by you evermore
So find another woman to adore
One that will stand by you evermore

(all dialogue from here on out)

Draco: Oh my wizarding gods… you're right. What have I been doing? All for a woman who could care less about me…

Ginny: (gently, encouragingly) It's okay, Draco. Remember, Harry went through the exact same thing. Except Cho never led him on or manipulated him. He just acted pretty stupid.

Harry: Am I just a really good punching bag for everyone?!

Draco: (chuckle) I guess you're right. Thanks for that, Weasley.

Ginny: Just call me Ginny. Leave the last name reference to Ron over there. (Ron looks displeased)

(song ends, enter Snape)

Snape: What the devil is going on down here? I heard music and singing, and you know how much I hate musicals…

Draco: (frightened) N-nothing, sir… just gathering up these prisoners in order to take them to our Dark Lady.

Snape: Well what's taking you so long, Malfoy? Let's go already. I swear that our mistress is on her period. (Draco hesitates) Oh, don't tell me you're having second thoughts already! Ugh, you coward. Detention for Mr. Potter when we get back to school.

Harry: The hell? I mean, really, this is getting-

Snape: (points wand at Harry) Silencio! (puts duct tape on Harry's mouth) Now let's keep moving.

Ginny: Oh no, Harry's been silenced!

Ron: We're defenseless now!

(Snape pushes the seven man army offstage, wand to their backs) (throughout the scene, Harry is heard struggling against the duct tape) (enter the entrance to Cho's quarters)

Dumbledore: I can't believe I trusted you Snape. All this time, all my hard work to keep you free, and you have to end it like this?

Snape: Oh please don't try to guilt trip me. I already got rid of all my guilty feelings, at the same time as I rid myself of all emotions.

Hermione: Well, that explains something.

Snape: Quiet, Granger, or I'll silence you as well. Now, are you all ready to enter and face your demise? Hmm? Alright then, let's go. (opens door, and shoves group one by one through the door) (after they're all in, he dramatically steps in) (enter Cho's chambers, which is devoid of people minus the group)

Ginny: Is there anyone here?

Draco: They were here before. This is right where I left them. (at this point, music is heard)

Snape: Oh god, not this again. I swear, the girl gets more and more dramatic with every scene change.

Moody: (from offstage) Psst. Snape. Say your lines.

Snape: Ugh, must I? It's so… predictable.

Cho: (from offstage) Just do it, Snape!

Snape: Fine, if you insist. (sigh) (arm out, spoken with little inflection) Allow me to introduce the Dark Lady, our High and Mighty Evil Mistress, the Lady of Our Lord Gwynnan, Cho Chang.

(enter line of people, all dressed in black robes with unicorn patches on one arm and rainbow patches on the other; Voldemort in front, followed by Bellatrix, Moody, and finally Cho, who is the only one smiling)

(the opening strains of "Turning Japanese" can be heard as she walks in) (once Cho is at her throne, the song ends)

Cho: (takes seat at throne chair, with her followers surrounding her) Well, hello there, and welcome to my humble dominion. I'm so glad all of you could make it here. Especially you, Harry Potter. (Harry makes more grunts and muffled noises against the duct tape) Oh for goodness sake… (walks over, removes tape, then returns to her seat) I'm surprised you brought all of these friends here with you to meet their doom. And, what's this? Draco, I'm disappointed in you. It was all in the bag, but you dropped it to join the losing side. Oh well, I guess I'll have to teach you a lesson. (everyone pulls out a wand)

Harry: If it's a fight you want, it's a fight you'll get, Cho!

Scene 4 End