"Yeah?"

"Would it be weird if I told you that I wanted to ravage your motherfucking ass?"

I grinned as I opened my eyes, "Oh? And why is that?"

"Mmm," she hummed on the other end, "Maybe it's because you're fucking brilliant?"

"Do go on, Rose..."

"I might as well sum you up as motherfucking perfection..."

"It sounds like you know your shit, Ms. Hale," I laughed, stretching.

"Honey B, I don't know what you did but whatever it was, damn, girl...you still got it."

"I take it that Em came home last night?" I guessed, rolling off of Andy's bed only to grimace at the thought that popped into my head as I stumbled my way over towards the bathroom, "Shit…how much did he end up destroying?" I asked, cause knowing my brother...

She laughed, "You should see our bedroom...or, what used to be our bedroom..."

"He'll forever be breaking things, I swear..." I mumbled, shaking my head at the way that Emmett McCarty handled issues as I stepped up to the counter, "Listen, all of that shit, it's replaceable so make him fix it. He got what he deserved, trying to play you for a fool...thinking that I'd actually let that happen without doing anything about it, that's where he went wrong..."

"I fucking love you."

Covering my toothbrush with paste, I grinned. "Ditto, Rosie."

She paused for a second, only to tell me "I'll let that fly...for now."

"Touché."

"Oh," she remembered something, "And who the hell is this Andy kid that's got your brother thinking about committing all types of fucking criminal activities?"

Closing my mouth, I kept my toothbrush in front of it, raising an eyebrow at what I was just asked because... "Don't you remember seeing him at your place, when you threw me that little get together for my birthday?"

"Seriously, B?" she asked, "The only thing that I remember from that night is getting laughed at by your brother when I started making out with his pillow, thinking that it was him..."

Right, I thought, recalling how blitzed she was…shoving the object that I was holding into my mouth, I started brushing my teeth in some fast and furious type of a way that'd hopefully get her to drop the subject that I didn't want to talk about right now, "Wewl...yoo know wha dey say..."

"No, I don't," she replied when she wasn't supposed to, "Tell me. What do they say?"

Uh... "Bwusha bwusha bwusha, get da new Ipana, wif da bwand new flavo, it's —"

"Are you sure that you were born a female?"

"Arr yoo swure that yoo were bworn a feemawle?"

"I hope you choke."

"I howpe yoo choke."

"On your brother's magnum-sized dick? Gladly."

And, she got her wish, for I choked...after I gagged.

"Your brother, he just stepped out of the shower so, let me go," she talked over my lungs inability to function correctly as I continued coughing on the goddamn paste that was practically drowning me, "After all, why waste my time talking to you when I can just wrap my lips around that huge, and I mean huge, cock of hi—"

Tossing my cell out of the bathroom, I glared at its form after it landed on the carpet with a low thud...only to aspirate something that was meant to be a growl as soon as I heard the soft laughter that erupted from its intact self. "That b—bitch," I stuttered, "Always taking it too far..."

Having a few hours to kill before I had to go to work, I pulled up to the place that I haven't been inside of for some time now, thinking that I better check up on Renee and see how she's doing...

Which turned out to be a real shitty fucking idea on my part, because as soon as I stepped into the kitchen after noticing that the living room was empty, I was met with Phil. "Isabella," he greeted me, slamming the door to the fridge shut with a smile, "How nice of you to finally come back home..."

"I'm..." not putting up with this bullshit right now, I finished to myself as I turned around to leave the kitchen that should've somehow warned me that it held company that I wouldn't be in the mood to deal with. Hearing the footsteps that started following my own over to the front door that I needed to fucking get to, I quickened my pace a little bit...

Only to curse its 'not fast enough' as soon as I was slammed up against its surface.

Clenching my eyes shut at the feeling of his breath hitting my cheek that his mouth shoved itself into, I tried to relax my body...my body that his own wouldn't give room to fucking move as he kept my front pressed up against the door with his chest, "I have to go to work."

"Not right now, you don't," he whispered against my skin and when I heard another set of footsteps making their way over towards us, I exhaled something that filled my entire being with relief...

Relief that turned out to be short-lived, because Phil, he never stepped back...he kept himself pressed up against me...which had me thinking that whoever showed up a few seconds ago, their sudden appearance, it was nothing but expected.

"You were right, Mr. McCarty..."

Opening my eyes at the voice that I didn't recognize, I narrowed them at the man that reached us...smirking a smirk that had my system shaking in undeniable anger.

"She is exquisite."

"If you fucking touch me..."

"You wanted a taste, didn't you?" Phil asked him, interrupting my trembling voice.

I stopped breathing at the sight of his buddy giving the stairs a quick nod.

"No!" I gritted, grabbing a hold of the door handle when Phil went to pull me away from it…yanking my fingers off of what they were trying to attach themselves to, the asshole who I never met before, he licked his lips at the growl that left my throat as I was lifted up into the air and tossed over Phil's shoulder, "I'm going to fucking kill yo—"

"No one else is here, right?"

"It's just you and me, my friend," he answered him, heading over towards the stairs, ignoring my fists and my feet as they started punching and kicking anything that they reached, "Like I told you before, Kevin, you have nothing to worry about."

As soon as he lowered me down to the floor after he stepped into the bedroom that I stopped calling my own, I tried to make a run for it but his buddy, he grabbed my arm and stopped me, "Let the fuck go!" I spat, thrashing against his hold, the sound of the door slamming shut flooding my everything with fear that I couldn't hide, no matter how hard I tried, "Who the fuck do you think you are, let the fuck go of m—"

"Let go of her."

My eyes, the ones that were becoming heavier and heavier by the second with held back tears, they snapped over to Phil after I heard him. Stepping up to me after I stopped struggling, shocked by the words that he spoke of, he frowned a frown that turned into a grin…

A grin that I didn't catch until it was too late.

Landing on my ass from the shove that I wasn't prepared for, I groaned something that came out as a gasp from having the wind knocked out of me. "She's all yours."

"N—no," I tried to scream when 'Kevin' started unbuckling the belt that was wrapped around his waist, keeping his eyes on me while he stood above my form, "Je—Jesus Christ, please...please don't do this, I…" turned onto my stomach and tried to crawl away, telling my pride to go to hell, knowing that I looked so fucking pathetic, and hopeless…

"This one has a lot of fight in her..."

"Tell me about it," I heard Phil answer, before I cried out at the kick that my fucking side received...clutching onto it, I rolled onto my back, clenching my eyes shut at the pain that radiated up to my neck, "You're only making this harder than it has to be, Isabella..."

"Fuck you."

"Still as feisty as ever, I can see..."

Opening my eyes at that, I narrowed them at the piece of shit whose mumble caught my attention...straddling me, he interrupted my concentration...my try to make sense out of the words that he just spoke of, "Watch it," he laughed, catching my wrists when I went to scratch his fucking face off, "I have a wife to go home to after this, wouldn't want her thinking that I'm — "

"Go to hell, you fucking...get off of me!" I spat, struggling against Phil's grip...the one that was holding my hands against the floor and in return, keeping me from hitting his friend...his friend that remained on top of me as he started pulling on my jeans and underwear to take them off, "I...hel—"

"Keep quiet!" he hissed, and at the slap that my call for help received, the tears that never shed, they escaped...all at once, their warmth running down my cheeks as I kept my eyes on the trembling fingers that were nothing but impatient in shoving a pair of dark pants and boxers away from what I didn't want anywhere fucking near me. Sitting on top of my thighs that were trying to press themselves together, the asshole smirked, pulling a condom out of his shirt pocket as he told me "You know, you'll probably enjoy this if you'd relax..."

"Fuck you!" I hissed, my voice venomous, my tugs against Phil's hold useless...

"No," he hissed back, his face right above mine as he leaned over me, "Fuck you!"

Clenching my eyes shut at the feeling of him slamming into me, I inhaled the slicing sting of pain that his force brought forth...turning my head to the side as he started pulling out, I stopped breathing...purposely, for the grunts that were hitting my face as he continued thrusting into me...

"She feels good, doesn't she?"

Opening my eyes, I was met with Phil's form...the one that was now kneeling right above my head, staring at parts of me that I never wanted him to stare at. Looking away from the eyes that reminded me too much of Emmett's, I lowered my gaze...only to cry a cry that lacked any kind of sound when I caught the sight of him stroking himself.

There was my stepfather, groaning in pleasure...

As he watched his friend forcing himself on me.

My life.

Turning my head away from what he was doing, I stopped my eyes from falling closed when I noticed the picture that was laying against the carpet, underneath my bed. Needing a distraction, I blinked my tears away until the image cleared up and God, when it did, my fucking eyes smiled because the picture, it consisted of a memory that I'll always, always cherish…

One of my Pop and I, that was taken when I was around six years old, I think…

When the three of us decided to spend the day at the pool.

He was holding me up in the air, above the water that he was chest deep in and Renee, she must've been the one who captured the moment of him getting ready to toss me.

"Kiddo, come on," he laughed, "You have to learn how to swim someday, you know..."

Sitting on the edge of the pool, the spot that was the farthest away from where he was at, I started kicking my feet, moving them back and forth against the water that surrounded them, "It's too deep," I told him...once again, "I'll come in next time, daddy."

"Honey, stop bugging our little girl already," I heard mommy tell him and when I looked over at the lawn chair that she was sitting on, I narrowed my eyes at the grin that was wrapped around the straw that she was sipping lemonade out of, "Maybe she's just scared, have you ever thought of that?"

"I'm not scared."

She shrugged at my irritability. "Well prove it then, missy."

"Whatever, missy," I grumbled underneath my breath, only to keep my eyes narrowed when I looked over at daddy, whose mustache twitched with amusement, "What's so funny?"

Holding his hands up, he shook his head, "Nothing, nothing..." keeping my attention on him as he started walking through the water that I wouldn't be walking through any time soon, I growled at the words that I heard him chanting...the ones that should've been whispered, not sang... "Bella is a scaredy cat, Bella is a scaredy cat..."

Standing up, I stomped my foot, "Am not!"

"No?" I shook my head and he smiled, "Well if you're not a scaredy cat then, jump in..."

"Fine!" I yelled...only to growl when I looked down at the pool, "But it's so deep, I'm g—"

"Charlie, maybe you shouldn't —"

Looking away from mommy after I felt something tapping the back of my legs, my eyes fell on daddy's...the ones that made their way over to the edge that I was standing on top of, "Sit down and listen to me for a second, pumpkin."

Lowering myself down to where I was sitting before, I avoided his attention as I placed my palms over the hands that were laying against my thighs, "I'm listening to you..."

"Are you looking at me?"

Raising my head at that, I smiled, "I'm looking at you, daddy."

"Don't you trust me?"

"With everything," I answered right away, upset that he'd ask me something like that.

Brushing away a strand of hair that was stuck to my forehead from the summer heat, he grinned a grin that I grinned at. "And you know that I'd never let anything happen to you, right?"

Lowering my head, I nodded, "Yes."

"And that I'll always be here to catch you," he continued, his fingers holding my chin up so that I was looking at him once again, "No matter what it is that you're falling from, kiddo...I'll always, always...be here with my arms wide open. Tell me that you know that, pumpkin."

I smiled something that felt so bright. "I know that, daddy."

"Good," he whispered, giving my thighs a tap before he moved back, "Alright, let's get this show on the road...I'm getting old here, telling you things that you already know..."

"You're already old," I shot back, snorting at the shock that graced his face afterwards.

"You heard that, mama bear?" he asked mommy, whose lips were pursed together with laughter that she was trying to hold back, "Our child, she just called me old...me, of all people."

Mommy shrugged, "Well she is my daughter, after all. Knows her stuff, it sounds like."

"I'll show you old," he told her in a whisper that I wasn't supposed to hear, it seemed like, as he looked at her all...weird, "Just you wait, Renee..."

Lowering her attention back down to the magazine that was placed on top of her lap, mommy adjusted her sunglasses with a smirk. Annoyed by their sneakiness, I jumped without any warning, not worried about a single thing because I knew exactly where I'd land...

Catching me with an "Oomph," daddy laughed at the giggles that hit his scruffy cheek as I wrapped my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist, "Sweetheart," he groaned after a second, adjusting me with his eyes on mommy, "What have you been feeding my girl, bowling balls?"

"Hey!" I growled, trying not to grin at the teasing that he teased, "I'm not that heavy!"

Noticing the swimmers that were pressed up against his shoulders, he narrowed his eyes at them, "Daddy!" I laughed when he started moving us around in little half circles, acting like they were getting in his way, "Stop it, you're gonna make me sick!"

"Alright, alright," he stopped, only to take a hold of one of my arms, "Let's take this —"

"No way!" I shouted, yanking my arm away from him when he started pulling on what was keeping me safe, "It's fine where it is, daddy, you don't need to take it off. Thank you, though."

He rolled his eyes at the thank you, though. "Kiddo, didn't I just tell you that I wouldn't let anything happen to you?"

I nodded.

"I won't let anything happen to you."

And I knew that he wouldn't. Of course he wouldn't. I trusted him. Entirely. "Okay."

"Okay," he repeated my whisper, taking the swimmers off of my arms before tossing them over his shoulder, making me snort as he mumbled about how useless they were. Lifting me up into the air afterwards, he raised an eyebrow at the narrowed eyes that were looking down at him, "Daddy," I started in warning, wiggling the tips of my toes against the water that they were barely touching, "If you toss me..."

His mustache covered the grin that he was hiding from me as he did what I told him not to do, only to catch me as soon as the water reached my waist. Blinking away the splashes that hit my eyes, I groaned as I pulled him closer to me so that I could wrap my arms around his neck and never let go, "God, you never listen to me, it's not fair!"

"You can't always be terrified of going under, baby..."

"I know, I know," I whispered quickly, clinging onto him, "But I'm not ready right now."

Leaning back, he forced me to look at him. "You know," he started, giving my ponytail a soft tug, "You might actually enjoy it..."

"No."

"Yes."

I shook my head at him, "No, daddy."

And when he threw me up...up...up into the air, my widened eyes, they closed, bracing themselves for an impact that never happened as he caught me before my shoulders hit the water, "Daddy!" I complained, wiping my cheeks free of droplets, "Stop doing that!"

"Come on, Kiddo. On the count of three."

I huffed, pushing my hair off of my face, "You promise that I won't get hurt?"

"Never would I let you get hurt," his eyes told mine.

"Or drown...you promise not to let me drown?"

"Never, ever...would I let you drown," he promised...

"Okay," I whispered, because once again, I trusted him.

"One," he started.

"Two," I said next.

"Three!" the both of us shouted together.

As soon as I went under, a chill ran through my entire body...starting at the very tips of my toes and ending at the very top of my head...but that second of fear, it didn't stop me from spreading my arms apart, or my legs from kicking to keep me from falling deeper and deeper into the pool that always gave me goosebumps, just from looking at it.

The chlorine, it stung as I opened my eyes but when I saw him there, right in front of me, I smiled...thinking that I waited too long to do this, and that I should've done this a long time ago. Patting my cheek, daddy burst the bubble that I placed myself in as he moved his thumb in an upward motion, silently telling me that it was time to leave the water that I wanted to spend a little more time surrounded by.

Determined, I nodded before I closed my eyes.

Kicking my legs, I started swinging my arms harder, and harder, and harder...

I'm doing it...

I'm really, really doing it.

Reaching the surface, I held my hands out, waiting for something that didn't disappoint as I felt his fingers wrapping themselves around my wrists and pulling me into his chest. Rubbing my eyes clear of water, I laughed and laughed and laughed some more, taking a hold of his face as he wrapped his arms around my waist, "Daddy, I...I did it!"

"I never doubted you, Kiddo."

My teeth chattered at those words that I remembered as I opened my eyes. Lowering my gaze, I grimaced when I found myself naked...completely naked. Grinding my teeth together at the ache that was coming from...there, I brought my legs up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them, wishing that I could just go back to that time as I started crying, and crying, and crying.

Bumping into Paul as I ran into the building that I should've been inside of two hours ago, I mumbled an apology that I hoped that he heard before I started making my way through the crowd. Stepping up to my side of the bar, I nudged Brandon away from the spot that she was standing on, "I got it," I told her, relieving her from covering my customers, "I fucking owe you big time, hookah..."

She rolled her eyes, telling me that it wasn't a big deal before making her way over to her side. "What the hell happened to you, Honey B?" Rose shouted from across the bar, keeping her attention on the drink that she was mixing as I grabbed a bottle of Blue Moon for the dude who asked me for one, "You're two hours late!"

Taking the money that he left on top of the counter, I handed him his drink before I walked over to the cash register that she was standing next to, "I know, I...I fucking fell asleep," I mumbled, yawning something that I couldn't hold back as I rang up his order, "Give me a night that you want to take off and I'll work the shift for yo—"

"Jesus Christ."

Looking over at her, I raised a brow at the wide eyes that she was sporting. "What?"

"Oh my God..."

Looking over to the right after I heard the gasp that left Pixie, I just...stood there, giving the two broads who were now staring at me back and forth glances. Shaking my head at whatever had the both of them looking so fucking shocked, I lowered my attention back down to the money that I pulled out of the drawer, "I don't have time for whatever you bitches seem to have time for," I whispered, counting the change that my customer was patiently waiting for, "Looking at me like I'm some kind of a...a ghost, and shit."

"Bella Boo..."

Growing irritated by the responses that lacked any kind of explanation that'd let me know what the hell was going on, I slammed the register shut, shouting a "What?" that had the Pixie taking a step back with a grimace. "Look, I'm..." feeling nothing but overwhelmed right now, "I'm sorry for coming in late, alright, I...I didn't mean to so if that's what's got your panties in a twi—"

"Alice, can you uh..." taking the money that I was holding with the hand that didn't grab a hold of my arm, Rose handed the two fives over to our girl, "Take care of that for her? I need to get her out of here before the dog gets back from his break..."

She nodded, giving me another quick glance as I scrunched my eyebrows together in confusion, not understanding why she needed to do what she needed to do. "Rose, what the hell is going o—hey," I whispered when she started pulling me away from where we all needed to be right now, "Where are you taking me, we can't just lea—"

Giving my arm a yank that had me tripping over to where she abruptly stopped, she growled, "Your fucking face, Bella. Did you look at it before you decided to show up to work tonight?"

"No, why would I..." pressing my fingers against the cheekbone that she was glaring at, I hissed at the tenderness that I failed to notice before...remembering the punch that I got earlier, I groaned. "Fuck me, man, this is just...perfect!" I spat, shaking my head at the goddamn situation that I found myself in, "Alright, uhm..." think, think, think... "Let me use some of that dusty stuff that you put on your face so that I can cover this shit up."

She rolled her eyes at my problem solved attitude, dragging me away from where we were standing. "Rose, just give me your fucking makeu—" spotting the kid that was making his way over to the bar that she was pulling me farther away from, my eyes widened, "Oh my God. Shit. Shit, shit, shit. Jake, he's going to freak the fuck out a—"

"Which is the reason as to why I am getting you the hell out of here."

"Wait, what?" I hissed, trying to keep up with the all of a sudden track star who was leading me through the crowd, pushing and shoving against people who were in our way, "Rose, I can't just leave you guys! You're all going to fucking drown, look at how packed this joint i—"

"Do you want to see the dog's reaction?" she asked over her shoulder, flying past a puzzled looking bouncer as she yanked me outside, "One look at you and he'll be on the fucking news by tomorrow morning, talking about I had to do what I had to do!"

"Shit," she's right...

"Listen, don't worry about us," she told me, breaking me out of my thoughts as she pulled my truck's driver's side door open, "Drive around and just...hang tight until I call you. I'll tell Sam that you...oh, who the fuck cares just go. I got your shift."

"Bu—"

"What did I just say?" she hissed, shoving me into my seat, "Fucking go, I got it."

"I owe you —"

"Shit," she finished, "You're my number one bitch, Honey B. I mean, sure, we may get into it at times but nothing, and I mean nothing...changes the fact that I'm always going to be here for you."

Starting up my truck, I shook my head at her, "I fucking lo—"

"Yeah, yeah, I know, I fucking love you too, hookah, now get the hell out of here before Jake comes busting ass through that door, wondering where the hell I went..."

Leaving my truck in park after I pulled up into Andy's driveway, I turned off the headlights that were hitting the empty porch. Moving the rear view mirror over to the other side after catching yet another glimpse of my face...or better yet, what used to be my goddamn face...I sat back with a growl, pissed off at the memory that I had earlier...the one that evidently left me numb and therefore, unaware of what the hell was going on around me.

According to the yellow marks that covered the bony parts of my cheeks...

And the cut that ran right down the middle of my bottom lip...

And the swollen left eyebrow that, let me tell ya, looked fucking amazing...

Those two goddamn assholes, they must've had a lot of fun while I was out, taking turns at punching and slapping whatever they could get their fucking hands on.

I just...I couldn't wrap my head around it, man. I was, honest to God, so pissed off at him right now and I didn't even know why. My Pop didn't deserve all of this anger that I felt towards him but it was there…right there, filling my blood with a rage that was never once directed at him…ever.

Dead or alive, Charlie Swan held my heart in his hands.

He was...everything, to me...meant everything to me.

But he wasn't here for me right now and maybe that's why I was so hurt, because he fucking promised me that he'd forever be by my side, that...that he'd never be too far away to catch me if I were to ever fall from something that I couldn't handle.

Where are those arms of his now, right now, when I needed them the most?

I can't do this anymore.

I'm not strong enough…

And I didn't want to feel this way anymore.

I needed a break.

Something that could take my mind off of this…feeling.

Jumping out of my truck, I locked it up with the fingers that weren't busy trying to adjust the hoodie that covered the top of my head. Reaching the door, I looked over my shoulder with a groan when I heard the music that was playing from the inside, wondering who the hell Andy had over while my eyes roamed the street, searching for any cars that I'd recognize…

"Well, well, well…"

Returning my attention back to the door again after my ears caught the voice that interrupted my traveling gaze, I held back from rolling my eyes at the dude who I found standing in front of me...the one whose smirk turned into a grimace as soon as he spotted my face. "James."

"Damn, girl…what the hell happened to your fa—"

"Is Andy home?"

His eyes, they finally stopped 'investigating' the bruises and the cuts that I couldn't hide. "He uh, stepped out for a beer run," he told me, stepping aside afterwards, "I don't know when he'll be back but, I heard that you were staying here so, come in."

Finding the living room empty after I stepped inside, I lowered my hoodie with a deep exhale that was filled with nothing but fucking relief, knowing that I'd at least get some peace and quiet now. Gaining my attention by nudging my shoulder as he walked past me, the kid who I never got along with gave the couch that he was heading over towards a nod, "Are you planning on standing there all night long, or…"

"You know, any other night, I'd go along with the bullshit games that you're all about playing but tonight…" I laughed a bit, looking away from him as he took a seat, "Tonight's just not one of those fucking nigh—"

"Who's trying to start shit?"

Looking over at him, I placed my arms across my chest.

"All that I was trying to say was…take a seat, fucking relax…standing there, looking around like you're some kind of a lost puppy that got nothing better to do won't help either of us…as a matter of fact, if you keep it up, I'm going to start thinking that I actually have to do something to keep you entertained and that right there's going to fuck up the rest of my night so, again…take a seat, and fucking relax. Please."

The grin that wanted to show up…the one that his rant created, it appeared on the inside, lacking the energy that it'd take to reach the outside, "And how would you keep me entertained?" I asked, deciding to take his 'advice' as I started heading over towards him.

"I'm a great dancer."

I snorted, taking a seat. "Oh yeah?"

"I got these fucking moves…" Pursing my lips together, I placed my arms across my chest as I leaned back, keeping my eyes on him as he looked over his shoulder, shaking his head at me like you don't even know, "They'd without a doubt have you naked and on top of me in no fucking time…"

"Wow," I laughed at the smirk that he was sporting, nudging his thigh with my own as he leaned towards me a bit to grab something out of his pocket, "You actually have a sense of humor…I'm kind of surprised."

He shrugged, turning his attention over to the table that he tossed something on top of, "Jokes aside, though…you look like you could use something that could help you out, what with the whole 'tonight's not the night for bullshit' thing that you got going on…"

Closing my eyes, I shook my head after I let the back of it rest against the top of the couch, "Yeah, well…trust me when I tell you that nothing…absolutely nothing, can ease my motherfucking nerves right now."

"I beg to differ."

"How so?"

Grabbing onto the only book that was placed on top of the table, he brought it with him as he leaned back. "This'll help you forget everything…and I mean everything, even if it's just for a single fucking second," he whispered after my eyes landed on the white powder that he prepped without me noticing, "You in?"

"I never tried it."

"Like I told you the first night that I met you, wildcat…" he grinned, reaching out to grab a hold of the ten dollar bill that was sitting on the table, "There's always a first time for everything, don't you think?"

I shrugged, thinking about it until… "I guess there is, isn't there?"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," I gave in without over-thinking it, deciding that if it'll help me in any way, even for just a second, then it must be worth it…lowering my arms from my chest, I shook my head at the hand that was trying to give my own the green paper that he rolled up because in all honestly, I didn't even know where the fuck to start…what with me never having done this shit before, "You first."

He nodded…only to stop short at the sound of the front door swinging open. Lifting his attention from the book that our 'company' interrupted him from reaching, James greeted Edward, Jasper, and Andy with a simple nod as I huffed, "Great," I mumbled, throwing myself back against the couch again, "There goes my fucking second…"

Taking a hold of the case of beer that Edward practically shoved against his chest, Andy grunted something that he failed to hold back, "What's this?" Cullen asked the kid who was sitting next to me, pointing at the shit that I'd never get to try now.

"What do you mean, what's this?" James laughed, missing the pair of narrowed eyes that I received from Edward as he raised a brow at Jasper, "What's up, Whitlock? You interested in a good time?"

"You know that coke's not my type of a party, buddy," Blue Eyes told him, faking a grin that I could spot from a mile away as he gave his cousin's back a couple of pats that snapped him out of the anger that he was trying to keep under control, "You go ahead, though…knock yourself out."

James shrugged, nudging my knee with his own to gain my attention as Andy walked into the kitchen, "Watch me, wildcat," he whispered, placing one end of the rolled up bill over the line that he wanted to get started on, "I'll show you how it's done."

Grabbing a hold of my jaw after James leaned over, Cullen lifted my eyes from what I was told to pay attention to as soon as he stepped up to me, "What the fuck happened to your face?" he asked me, trying to distract my ass from the 'lesson' that James' was giving me by tightening the grip that he had on my jaw…

"What the fuck do you think happened to my face?" I hissed, slapping his hold off.

Taking a seat on the empty spot to my right, he shook his head at me at the same time that James lifted his own…wanting to see his reaction, I dismissed Edward's tense jaw by moving my gaze over to the kid whose eyes were hidden beneath lids that seemed so…relaxed, and at ease, and just all around empty...free of any emotion.

"You need to move the fuck out of that house, Bae."

I ground my teeth together, keeping my eyes on James while he just…laid there, letting the back of the couch that he fell against support his entire body weight, it seemed like. "Stop calling me Bae."

"Okay. Bae."

Opening his eyes as I rolled my own at Cullen's immaturity, James grinned, "Ready?"

"Ready?" Edward interrupted me from nodding, sitting up a bit, "Ready for what?"

"Bella here…" he nodded towards me, "Is about to break her motherfucking cherry…"

"Right," Cullen laughed, grabbing a hold of the bill that James placed in my hand before tossing it on top of the table, "That's not going to happen, my man. She's good." Taking a hold of my elbow, he pulled me up to my feet as he pushed himself off of the couch, giving Blue Eyes a nod that had him standing up afterwards, "Let's go."

"Let's not," I gritted, yanking my arm free, "Don't you tell him what's not going to —"

Grabbing onto my arm again, Edward growled, "Fucking move. I mean i—"

"Hey now," I heard Jasper start, and when I looked over at him only to see him looking over at James, I looked over my shoulder and gasped something that got stuck in my throat…spotting the gun that wasn't pointed at me but at Edward, who quickly pushed me away from whatever was about to happen. "There's no need for all of that shit, James…everything's cool here."

"Doesn't seem like it."

"James, you weren't right and you know it," Cullen tried to reason with him, not at all looking as nervous as he should look, "You took advantage of some chick who came over here, looking all vulnerable and wh—"

"Vulnerable, my a—" one look from Edward, and I shut up.

"You all are acting like a bunch of fucking narcs right now, is what I'm saying."

"Come on, man…it's nowhere like tha—"

"Then take a fucking seat and let her try what she wanted to try a minute ago."

"Bella never even touched tree, and you want to test her by letting her try coke?"

Looking over at me after hearing Cullen's word, James looked all sorts of…shocked, I guess? "You never smoked tree before?"

I shook my head.

Lowering the gun down to his side, he laughed a bit…staring at me, "Damn…"

Blue Eyes exhaled something that I saw, taking a seat again. "That's what I'm sayin."

"You need to step up, wildcat," James winked at me as he took a seat again, "Smoke a blunt before you agree to try anything harder next time cause no one, and I mean no one, likes dealing with a broad who's new to the game. Ain't that right, Cullen?"

Looking over at me, Edward ignored whatever that meant. "You need a ride?"

"Yeah," I answered at once, not wanting to spend another second here, "I'm uh…running kind of low on gas," I told the arched brow that James tossed at me, knowing that he knew that I was parked outside, "Gas prices, they're fucking kicking my ass, you know?"

He grinned, "Don't we all?"

"I'll see you later, yeah?"

Blue Eyes winked at me as Cullen and I walked past him, "Yeah, crazy girl. I'll see you later."

As soon as we stepped out of the house, Edward didn't only let go of my hand but he pushed it away, before he stomped past my frozen form…mumbling words that I couldn't hear underneath his breath. "What's your fucking problem?"

Pulling the driver's side door to his car open in some abrupt as all hell type of a way, he turned around and pointed at himself, looking all sorts of incredulous, "What's my fucking problem?" he nearly shouted, "What's my fucking problem?" he unnecessarily repeated, "Are you…are you fucking kidding me right now, asking me…fucking me…what's my fucking problem?!"

Not wanting to deal with any of that for the rest of the night, I passed his over-the-top being as I walked over to my truck, thinking that I'd rather drive around in fucking circles for a couple of hours rather than have to put up with another minute of Edward Cullen's dramatics…

"Where are you going?"

Lowering my head after he slammed the door that I just pulled opened shut, I kept my back to him as I closed my eyes to try to stop the rage-filled tears that were building behind my lids. "Honest to God, Edward, at this very fucking moment, I need you to just leave me the fuck alone. You need to step the fuck away from me, get into your fucking car, and drive the fuck off because I'm literally this close to flipping the fuck ou—"

Turning me around, he pushed me up against my truck before he stepped forward to place himself in front of me. Bringing his face down to mine, he paid the glare that his eyes were met with no mind as he trapped me in, leaving no air in between us, "What happened back there, Bella, wasn't something that you can just dismiss…"

"I know, alright?" I yelled, pushing the kid away from me so that I could breathe, "I know that I messed up and I'm sorry for putting you in a situation that could've hurt you in some way but I'm just…I'm just…God," I cried, lowering my burning eyes from his.

"Hey…"

"I'm overwhelmed, Edward," I told the soft voice that lost all of the anger that it held before, meeting his eyes to see his own marred with worry now, "I feel like I lost my fucking mind and I'm pissed off. I'm pissed off because normally, I don't let shit get to me but after what happened today, it's getting to me and I can't stop it. My thoughts, they're nonstop…they've been reminding me of things that I don't want to be reminded of and they're making me question shit that I'd normally never, ever, fucking question because I know, deep within my bones, that he's watching over me and that he'd never, ever, leave me alone because it…it's not like him, he just…it wasn't in him and even though he's not physically here, he's here, because he has to be…you know?"

He nodded, letting me have that as he kept his eyes on mine.

"I'm just…I'm just so fucking tired of everything, you know?"

Taking a hold of my face as I went to lower it, he kept it in place, running the tips of his thumbs along my lower lashes to wipe away the evidence of how much pain I was truly in, "Let me get you out of here, yeah?"

Exhaling something that's been suffocating my chest it felt like, I nodded. "Yeah."

Pat