The next chapter is up! I tried to make it longer this time, and I also wanted to give you a little background information on Naruto. Well, his "adapted" version, anyway.

I'm so grateful for all the reviews I've been getting! Thank you so much!

Enjoy! (Standard disclaimer applies...as usual)

Another session with the boy wonder. Great, Inoichi thought. The kid may not be a genius, but he sure can keep a secret. Now that he was over his bout with amnesia, it should have been easy to get all the answers he wanted from this 13-year-old, but it was like trying to kill a tiger with a feather--there'd be a reaction, alright, but not one he was interested in receiving! So much for Konoha's top interrogation specialist.

Maybe he'd let Ibiki try his hand at him. He was getting awfully skilled and had requested something more "challenging" to do. Yeah, that sounded like a great idea! The kid would be off his hands finally and he could relax, drink a nice cup of hot tea, avoid his irate girlfriend--

"INOICHIIIII!!!!"

--or not. Naruto, his precious guest who was sitting on his couch eating his cookies, snickered. Inoichi felt his eyebrow twitch.

"Aimi, just the girl I was hoping to see. Here, I'd like to introduce you to--" Once again, she'd interrupted him, but with a fist instead of her voice. Another black eye and more gossip material for the precious little ANBU. They'd nicknamed him "Mr. Tulips" and they were going to pay.

"Shut up!" the white-haired woman yelled, pale eyes flashing. "I woke up this morning and guess what I found when I went to get dressed. Guess!"

"Um, I don't know. Mice?"

"Mice," Aimi repeated evenly. "And did the 'mice' do this, by any chance?" She held up a bra with holes right in the middle, right where...He swallowed. This is bad. Really, really bad.

Naruto had, by this time, decided that his hands needed a lot of attention.

"Look, I know what you're probably thinking, and I swear I--"

His volatile girlfriend tsk'd. "Inoichi-kun, you know better than to swear." Uh-oh. She said that waaaay too sweetly.

"Buttercup, I had nothing to do with this! I would never cut up your clothes like that!" Ok, so that's a fib, but I'm not about to admit anything.

A quiet voice snickered again. "Tulips and Buttercups, how sweet." They both turned and looked at him, completely forgetting their little "tiff." A look of appreciation and surprise was on her face; but his eyebrows were twitching a mile a minute.

"Naruto, was it?" Nod. "Well, I'm very pleased to meet you. I'm Aimi, his girlfriend...for now."

"Yeah, kid, would you mind leaving? The young lady and I were having a conversation, and you look like you're enjoying it a lot more than you should."

The smirk never left the young blonde's face. "Aww, how come? Woes in the land of bliss?"

THAT DOES IT! Ten seconds later, Naruto found himself thrown unceremoniously on the front step, nursing a bruised backside encountering the neighbors' curious stares. The Yamanaka hoped he'd learned his lesson as he stepped back in his home, locking the doors behind him.

"Aren't you the charming host, Tulips."

He groaned out loud but smiled to himself. While it was true that he was terrified of his girlfriend and could get very angry at some of the stunts she pulled, he had to admit that those very things were also why he loved her so much. The last thing Inoichi needed in his life was one more predictable and boring person, and if there was one thing he could say about Aimi, it's that she never failed to keep him on his toes.

And if he had to occasionally cut up her bras to get her attention, so be it. Unfortunately, this time it really had been someone else.

Doesn't mean I can't reap the rewards, he thought as she began stalking closer and closer and closer...

La-la la-la la la la! Obito hummed to himself as he skipped down the lane to Ichiraku's. Sure, Naruto had seen straight through him, but Sensei was another story entirely. Free food!

He supposed he'd get pork, like always. Just the thought of the combination of noodles cooked to perfection, broth that was perfectly smooth, meat that was tender and practically bursting with flavor, and all the wonderful toppings he could eat was almost too much to bear. The young boy trembled in excitement as he walked into the restaurant and...

...Ran right into the junior Namikaze. He immediately put his nose in the air. They weren't on speaking terms right now, thank you very much. Not after that prank the blonde had pulled.

It wasn't fair! They were fellow Prank Masters! He shouldn't have been one of his targets! No fair, no fair, no fair! And that one had been especially cruel. Obito had stepped out of the shower yesterday morning to find that his shampoo had been filled with hair coloring. White hair coloring, which, when it combined with his naturally black hair, turned it grey.

He'd had to go to a team practice looking like some loser from Kakashi's fan club! No, the blonde could not be forgiven. Not for that.

Of course, that didn't mean the Uchiha wouldn't seek revenge. He cackled evilly to himself. He and his new rival would soon be at war, the likes of which never before seen in this village. Muwahahahaha! They just had to make sure Kushina didn't get in the middle of it. Normally, she kept to her best friends (like Aimi), but if word got out about this, well, he and Naruto would be in trouble. She was that good.

It took him all of two seconds for all of that to run through his mind as he sat as far away as possible from his nemesis.

Just one little problem. Something was nagging at the back of his head, a question he was desperate to ask his older teammate. He wanted answers, darn it!...but he'd have to actually talk to the backstabber in order to get them.

Not happening.

No way.

Not a chance.

Never.

.....

.....

Gahhh!...fine.

"Hey, Naruto," he said through clinched teeth. His pride could only take so much, after all.

But the other boy didn't even turn to look at him as he answered. "Yeah? What do you want?"

"How'd you do all those jutsus without using any hand signs?"

His teammate went still for a moment as he thought. "Practice."

"...Not gonna tell me, are you."

"Nope. Besides, you'll figure it out as you go." That's a lie, if I've ever heard one. I've been around ninjas my whole life, and all of them use signs. You liar...but he was forming a plan in revenge already for both that and the hair.

"Naruto, you know you and I are two of the top pranksters in this village, right?"

The boy nodded.

"Well, if you want to work together, I have the perfect target in mind, but in order to do it, I'll have to learn that Shadow Clone thingy of yours. What do you say?"

The boy nodded again. Perfect! And so the fun begins. Kushina was going to kill the blonde! But why stop there? He wanted more ramen.

"Hey, Naruto?"

"Hm?"

"Would you buy me another bowl of ramen, please?" Use the puppy-dog eyes, use the puppy-dog eyes.

"Eh. Sure. Here," he said as he tossed down some money. Then he left the younger ninja all by himself.

Soon, the world will be mine!!! Yay! Ok, maybe not the world, but I can at least hand Naruto's butt to him on a platter and get Kushina back for drawing fairies and rainbows on my favorite pair of shoes! Step One: Complete.

Naruto knew the kid was up to something. After all, one good prank deserved another, and his had been especially priceless. Oh, man, Kakashi's face! Don't think I'll ever be able to forget that!

Of course, there were other things about his former/future sensei. The man had finally settled down with some girlfriend he'd managed to keep secret from almost everyone and he'd never seemed happier. Emi, I think her name was. She'd be around now, in fact, but I haven't seen her anywhere, and that's a girl that would definitely stand out. That was the day he'd finally taken down that stupid mask and let everyone there see his face, which was just the members of his team and the Hokage. After that, the mask had gone right back up. He'd all but retired after that, taking command of ANBU secretly and doing one heck of a fine job. That Kakashi had always been one of his most trusted advisors.

This Kakashi was a different story. Whereas his future self was/would be an S-class ninja, this one was a class-A jerk. The good part about that was that he was far more fun to play with this way.

Naruto had to smile when he remembered his latest prank on Mr. Sociable. A little glow-in-the-dark hair color had managed to find its way into his shampoo (much like Obito's, strangely), and he'd heard a very distinctive scream later that night after Minato had let them all go home from practice. Ah, yes! Life was good!

As he continued to head to Minato's house, he wondered what was going to happen today. He'd gotten carried away with his story-telling yesterday and didn't know what to expect. At least his "uncle" hadn't told Inoichi about it yet or he wouldn't have gotten away that easily. And none of what he said had been a lie.

Having a physical, female form to change into when necessary had stopped more than one overzealous shinobi from attacking him. It even worked on his two ANBU guards, who usually passed out for a while due to blood loss. Too bad they'd always find him again later.

Ah, well, that was all in the past...sort of. No use dwelling on it now. Besides, there wasn't enough time for all that junk. He only had a short time in which to get ready for things that would be happening soon, namely the Kyuubi attack and Obito's death. Could he stop the demon? Maybe. He'd gotten pretty powerful and it was only because he wanted to spend more time with his family that he hadn't been made Hokage as soon as he'd turned 18. But to be honest, all his efforts would probably only slow the thing down for awhile.

And Obito...his death had had a profound and immeasurable impact on Kakashi. Without that sacrifice, his sensei might never have learned his lesson. Could he stop the young Uchiha's death? Yes. Should he? Naruto wasn't just here to play games, and even though he liked the kid, that didn't mean he should save his life. What am I supposed to do?

It was in this state of mind that he entered the house and completely missed seeing the three people sitting in the living room waiting for him. As he walked by, heading to his bedroom where he fully intended to take a long nap, one figure spoke up.

"So you're the nephew, huh? Looks more like your twin, Minato!" Naruto froze in his steps. No, it couldn't be...but he's still alive in this time, so is it possible?

He carefully composed his face and turned, seeing his godfather, had to force himself not to run to the man, hug him, and cry for all he was worth.

No emotion showed, however. "Yeah, what of it? Who are you two, anyway?"

The Sannin just smiled. "Allow me to introduce myself! From the North to the--"

Not wanting to hear his long-winded rendition and embarrassing display, he interrupted. "You're Jiraiya, aren't you?" He waited as surprise registered on all their faces before he continued. "From what I hear, you're quite the pervert, constantly looking in women's baths and all that. Kind of humiliating, considering the fact that you're supposedly one of the most powerful ninja in the world. Sad, really." Naruto struggled not to laugh at the man's shock, which lasted for about two seconds.

"You're pretty well-informed for someone who supposedly just regained his memory." The sage's tone was friendly enough, but his eyes had suddenly grown suspicious.

The boy sighed. Open mouth, insert foot. "Not too long ago, I had a little episode where it all came back rather quickly and brutally. Ask Minato-sensei if you don't believe me." It was a partial lie, but he really didn't have much choice in the matter. What was he supposed to do, TELL them he'd killed himself in the future and gotten brought back to life in the past? AND that Minato wasn't his uncle but his father instead? Oh yeah, that'd go over really well. He'd have a very comfortable room with padded walls in no time.

His father finally broke in at that. "Yeah, he's telling the truth, and it was...brutal, as he said. Still, Jiraiya-sensei has a point, too. So far, you've shown some pretty impressive jutsus that no one I know has ever seen or heard of, you won't tell us very much about yourself aside from that horror story I heard yesterday, and I get the impression that you know far more about this village and the people in it than anyone in your position should. Am I right so far?"

Naruto was confused. "What makes you think I know so much about the village?" There was no point in denying the rest.

"We've had people carefully and constantly monitoring you wherever you've gone. Until yesterday, there was nothing suspicious in your actions. You stayed here or went to the training grounds with the team unless you were meeting with Yamanaka-san. Besides the trips to Ichiraku's and that store with the gag gifts, you have been nowhere else. And yet, after leaving the training grounds yesterday, you walked to the academy, then to the library, followed by a trip to a wooden bridge built only two weeks ago. Not once did you hesitate or get lost. You were even able to avoid the worst areas. Care to explain?"

There was no getting past the uncomfortable looks he was getting now. Hmmm...time to wing it.

"What do you want to know, exactly?"

Jiraiya spoke next. "Kid, I've done some checking around, and not one person on this planet besides the ones in this village has ever seen or heard of you. As far as anyone can tell, you don't exist. Except for the fact that your DNA shows that you have family here--which you couldn't possibly have known about, seeing as how your parents died the day you were born and that they were not likely to have known, anyway--we're having trouble coming up with reasons for you being here. Reasons that don't include spying, that is. As for what answers we're looking for, let's start with your real name."

The teenager rolled his eyes in frustration. "This IS my name. Believe it or not, my name is actually Naruto and always has been since the day I was born; how in the world Obito came up with it is beyond me, but the hedgehog was right on the mark. As for my last name, that's something I was never told, until I'd left the village, that is." Yeah, left and came back to beat the snot out of Pain. "Turns out that my dad had a few friends who decided to teach me some skills. Believe it or not, I couldn't do most of the basic jutsus, but when it came to A- and B-ranks, I caught on to those almost immediately." He smiled for a moment, remembering some of Iruka-sensei's facial expressions when looking at his pathetic excuses for clones. "That's why I can do Shadow Clones. To this day, I have never yet been able to produce a half-decent regular one. That's how I got so strong so quickly. I've really only had maybe three years of formal training."

Their jaws dropped. "Oh, plus the fact that I can, well, could make over a thousand shadow clones at once to help with my training. Thanks to that ability, I must have gotten about ten years' worth of growth. Hm." He tilted his head, thinking about it.

"Ok, so that explains your abilities and maybe even your name. But that doesn't tell us about your reasons for being here." Man, his old sensei was one persistent little booger! Pick, pick, pick!

It was time to serve the biggest load of horse manure he'd ever been forced to before in his life. It made his stomach churn to lie to his only family and greatest heros like this (not counting the red-head, whom he'd never seen before), but they weren't leaving him much choice.

"When I was born, the current leader of the village decided I'd make a nice 'experiment.' That's how my father died--protecting me. My mother died from giving birth. That's why the people hated me and called me a monster, along with other choice terms I won't bore you with. They kicked me out of the orphanage when I was pretty young...not really sure how old...and forced me to live on the streets. The new leader that took over tried to make things better for me, but those idiot politicians wanted me dead without them looking bad for it."

Naruto's eyes darkened noticeably. "Survived that Hell till age seven, at which time the people who trained me started taking care of me and eventually trained me. One in particular decided that staying in the village was getting too dangerous and took me traveling with him for a couple of years. Not too long afterwards, I was told my last name."

His voice was very soft now. "After my sensei died, I got very angry and depressed. He'd died trying to get rid of those jerks who wanted me either dead or to use as a weapon and succeeded at the cost of his life." Well, his sacrifice did lead to it, so it's not exactly a lie. "I didn't want anyone else getting those ideas, though. I'm not a weapon; I'm a person, and I knew they'd use me to hurt the people I cared about. I...didn't want that."

"So you tried to kill yourself," Minato whispered.

Nodding, Naruto continued his half-truths. "I'm not dead, but I did manage to get rid of the thing that was causing me all the trouble, along with some of my chakra and a couple of other bonuses, but it was worth it. I'm finally free of that thing. How I ended up here in my birthday suit still alive is probably due to a friend I met recently. He sent me here as a gift, but don't ask me what jutsu he used, because I'm clueless, too."

The woman he'd seen sitting on the couch spoke up for the first time. "And who was this friend of yours? He sounds powerful."

"He told me to call him Ayu, and you're right. I think he's the most powerful person I've ever met." Naruto stood. "That's really all I can tell you right now. Like I said, it's a life I will never go back to, no matter what. Believe me or not, that's your choice, but...I hope you will." He moved to head to his room.

"Wait, Naruto," the Sannin called him back. "That doesn't explain your knowledge about this village."

The boy rolled his eyes again. This was getting ridiculous. What, his life's story wasn't good enough? Ok, so it wasn't exactly an accurate account, but still. "I said we traveled. I've been to Suna, as well. Lady Chiyo is their head medic like Lady Tsunade is Konoha's. But this place is much prettier, except when the sun is setting. There's nothing like seeing it from the desert. Trust me." Gaara would be pleased at that.

Gaara...so many horrifying things had happened to him, but things had been great in the end. He and some kunoichi had gotten married and had five kids at last count. And the woman he'd married...she'd seemed sweet at first. Until he'd accidentally ticked her off by spilling ketchup on her clothes. After that, she had scared him more than her husband! Naruto could still remember the torture that woman had put him through--shopping! The poor blonde nearly gagged right there; he'd take knife to the stomach over that any day!

The three adults, in the meantime, were watching him curiously, wondering what that strange look on his face was for. They figured it was time to wrap this up.

"One more question, Naruto." The boy snapped out of it and gazed at the white-haired ninja. "You're obviously not going to tell us where you're from, but can you tell us a little more about Suna? We are fighting a war, after all. Any information you have could be invaluable."

He thought about it for a moment. "I know what happened to their third Kazekage."

A collective gasp filled the room. Eh, why not? If they think I'm valuable enough, they might decide to let me live, after all.

The woman was the first to speak. "Can you tell us what?"

"Sure, it was Sasori, Lady Chiyo's grandson. He killed him. Apparently, the guy's body was somehow preserved and turned into a puppet. Darn thing can still use its iron sand techniques, too." Every eye was wide and watching. "Well, I didn't actually see all this myself. A friend of mine who had managed to survive one of his attacks did that. And she saw a LOT, believe me."

His dad was quick to take advantage of the information. "We should tell the Hokage this information immediately and then pass it on to Suna so that they can investigate. If we're lucky, it'll improve relations with them and maybe end this blasted war. Later." Then the Yellow Flash, um, flashed out of there.

As the other two had not finished staring at them, he sat back down. "What else do you want to know?" His voice was tired. He'd been talking for...a long time and he'd missed his nap. Darn it, I'm getting grumpy.

"You tell us."

"Hey, wait a minute. You know all about me, but I don't recall even seeing you before, so until I get some answers of my own, I'm not telling you anything else."

The red-head smiled. "Kushina Uzumaki. Nice to meet you, young Namikaze."

...Man, he'd thought it was hard not to react to Jiraiya's presence, but this! His mother...

But this time, something showed on his face, because she was asking him what was wrong.

"You're from Whirlpool, aren't you?"

"Oh, I see. Yes, I'm perhaps the only surviving ninja of that country. You didn't think there were any, did you?"

Wisely, all he did was shake his head.

"Now, then, what else can you tell us about the other nations that you think we might not know?"

Geez...fine, whatever. "Here's a little something: I can name all of the bijuu and their locations."

Kushina didn't understand what he was getting at, but Jiraiya's eyes looked like dinner plates.

"Ichibi's in Suna, but I don't think they've sealed him recently; the Nibi is in Kumo, and I'm not sure that one's been sealed yet, either; the Sanbi is supposed to be in Kiri, but my information's lacking a little for that one; Yonbi's in Iwa and so is the Gobi; Rokubi's also supposed to be in Kiri; Nanabi is somewhere in Takigaruke; Kumo also has the Hachibi; and the last one, the most powerful of all the bijuu, the Kyuubi, is somewhere right here in the Fire Country."

The two in front of him were now shaking; even if his mother had never heard of the others, there was no mistaking the name of the Nine-Tailed Fox.

"How do you know all of this?" they asked with shaking voices.

Naruto paused. This was getting dangerous. "You understand that I'm trusting you with information that could easily get me killed if it gets out that I know this, right? I mean, I'm not in any Bingo books at this time and I'd like to keep it that way."

His old teacher's face dawned with understanding. "You're giving us something to hold over your head to prove yourself to us, aren't you. If you betrayed us, all we'd have to do is release the fact that you know this information and you'd be hunted down and killed by every nation on the continent."

"Exactly. It's the only guarantee I can give you that I'm not trying to hurt this village. In fact, I don't really want to hurt any village. If possible, I'd like to live to see peace, lasting peace, in every nation. But let's start with one at a time, right?" For the first time since they'd started questioning him, a real smile brightened his face.

And for the first time since Ayu had last spoken to him, he didn't feel alone.

"And I know all this because I'm just that good." The fist to his head was the last thing he recalled before drifting off into darkness.

This is where the plot starts to thicken a little, thanks to Naruto's information regarding Sasori. What will happen? Stay tuned to find out more!

And you wondered where Ino got it from...

Obito, Obito. Where do I begin? He's so much fun!!

Anyway, reviews appreciated as always! Can't promise I'll be able to update every day like this, but I'll try for at least every other day :)