(Standard disclaimer applies. Doesn't really make much sense to put this at the beginning of each and every chapter, but oh well. Not everything in life has to make sense. Heck, if it works for politicians, who am I to argue?)

"I'd like you to teach me your Sexy Jutsu."

Naruto seriously hoped his father had a good reason for asking that, because he had a lot of questions, otherwise. He was already having a hard time choking out "Why?" between his laughs.

"Just trying to avoid certain crowds. Besides, I think it'd be great for sneaking in places. It's the perfect disguise, completely undetectable by any ordinary means. And if you teach me that and your Water Drill, I'll show you my pride and joy."

Water Drill? He didn't recall giving it a name... Wait a minute. His pride and joy? Did he mean...?

"I'll teach you Rasengan. So, what do you say?"

"HECK YEAH! YESYESYESYESYESYES!" Then he promptly began singing, "I'm gonna learn Rasengan, I'm gonna learn Rasengan" for five minutes.

Minato rolled his eyes. "Just show me the jutsu already. I'll work with it and try to create a male version right away."

An hour later, Naruto was impressed. It'd taken all of 10 minutes to explain the fundamentals behind his original technique and only 15 minutes for his legendary father to master it. The history books were right. He IS a genius. At the end of the hour, he had a fully-functioning male version: an ordinary-looking man with brown hair and brown eyes. Not bad. Looks authentic, just as it should.

Getting back to business... "Ok, now you teach me the Rasengan!"

The older blonde nodded and concentrated his chakra into the palm of his hand, creating a familiar, spinning globe.

"Cool..." his son breathed. "How do you do it?"

"Come with me and I'll pick up some supplies to teach you, but I warn you, it took me three years to create this sucker, so don't be surprised if it takes you awhile to learn it."

As soon as the man's back was turned, Naruto let out a tiny smirk. Just wait and see, Old Man. Just wait and see.

They worked till late in the evening, Naruto having busted the balloon within the hour. It took that long because he was determined to learn the one-handed version this time around. Needless to say, Minato was shocked.

"How'd you do that so quickly?' he asked, mouth hanging to the ground.

"I just made it spin in a bunch of different directions, that's all. It was easy after I figured it out."

Pale and weak, his father just nodded. "O..kay, um, then let's move onto the second step. It's a lot harder than the first, but maybe you won't have too much trouble with it, all things considered."

Naruto had already planned that taking another hour. BOOM! There it was, a limp piece of rubber, the remains of the once-round training ball. He looked over at his sensei. Dad's looking pretty bug-eyed there. I wonder when he's going to snap.

"What the...?" Here it comes. "My nephew...IS A GENIUS!!" And then the reserved, dignified man began a dance of celebration right in the middle of the field.

The former jinchuriki watched with amusement. I guess I didn't get it all from Mom, now, did I, he thought to himself.

After mastering the first two stages came the dreaded final stage. Technically, since he'd never actually managed to keep the balloon intact, this would be his first time mastering stage three. And it was difficult. But Minato stayed with him the whole time, watching in a combination of eager anticipation and relaxed confidence. It was really nice.

Naruto was just managing to hold the energy together (and sweating profusely with the effort) when an ANBU messenger arrived. After a brief word to the older jonin, Minato came over to him and said the Hokage wanted to meet with the team.

The appearance of the entire team clearly did not impress the boss; Kakashi was in the hospital, Obito was injured, Rin was upset, he was exhausted, and the only one 100% fit for duty was their sensei.

Needless to say, he was less than enthusiastic to assign them their mission. "It has been reported that there is a small base located in the small, southern peninsula of the Land of Earth, where, rumor has it, our enemies are creating a weapon of sorts." Naruto's eyes widened at that, and the Hokage noticed. "Your mission is simply a fact-finding one; I'm not expecting you to engage any enemy shinobi unless absolutely necessary, but if there is a dangerous weapon and you feel you can destroy it, be careful. This isn't some boarder skirmish. It's right in their territory."

Naruto had a good idea what some of this was really about. His shadow clones weren't exactly a secret, nor was his Sexy Jutsu, and those would come in very handy in a spy mission like this. Plus...they wanted to see what made him tick.

But he had a reason for going, himself. "Hokage-sama," he began, "there's something about that base that you should know."

Hiruzen lifted his eyebrows. "And what do you know and how did you learn of it?"

Sighing, he replied, "I know at least a little bit about all the Great Nations, most of it things I would be executed for if it ever got out. I can't tell you how I learned it, but I know for a fact that there is definitely a weapon there, and it's meant to be very deadly. However, it's not...finished, I guess you might say." By this time, everyone was staring at him. Guess they still haven't gotten used to my unexplained wisdom. Wonderful. "The weapon...is a human."

Ah, yes, that REALLY got their attention. Obito (the loud-mouth) was the first to speak. "What do you mean by that?"

"Yes, indeed. Do tell us, Namikaze-san." The Hokage, ever polite, had eyes as hard as steel.

"Last thing I heard about it is that she's a young child who has been brainwashed most of her life. There's one woman, however, who's been trying to get the girl out of there. She's probably the one who released the information."

"Is that how you found out?" This question came from Minato.

"Yes, indirectly, and that's all I can say regarding that." At this, he noticed that every single eye was narrowed suspiciously. He countered that. "Look, don't you have enough on me already? You don't have to trust me, but it'd be nice if you didn't treat everything I say as some sort of ploy to bring down the village. If I really wanted to do that, believe me, I could. But I don't."

The Sandaime looked at him for a moment, then ordered everyone else in the room out, including the ANBU guards. "Now, young man, you've just made one heck of a claim. What makes you think you could back it up?"

Naruto rolled his eyes. Yeesh, you'd think I'd be used to being underestimated. "Simple. I have a technique that do it in one shot, or I could go to your enemies, instead. Actually, all I'd have to do is contact a certain man. But like I said, I. Don't. Want. To."

"And I'm just supposed to take your word for it? A possibly deadly, unknown ninja here in MY village, telling me he could destroy it in a single move!?" Sarutobi was fuming.

Well, I asked for that. Stupid, stupid, stupid! Guess I don't have much choice now, do I? "No, I don't. Crap, I was hoping that I wouldn't have to do this, but it looks like there are no other options." At this, the old man got ready for a fight. "Relax. It doesn't involve fighting. Geez... You know, out of all the Hokages I've known, I think I respect you the most. And I think--I hope--I can trust you with this."

He sighed again and closed his eyes briefly. "Do another DNA test."

"W-what?"

"Another test. Do another test. But this time, compare it to Minato Namikaze's. And whatever you do, do NOT tell anyone, especially him. It would only confuse him and scare him at best."

The Hokage was confused. "What are you saying?"

"I'm not his nephew. Do the math."

With that, he walked out, wondering if he'd just royally screwed everything up with his fat trap. He hoped not. He really, really hoped not.

"Naruto!" He was called back in. "Your team leaves in two days. If the results show that you're nothing but a sham, I will have you executed. Understood?"

"Yup. Got it, Old Man." He'd almost started walking again when the man again called out.

"By the way, Suna was very pleased that we passed on possible information regarding their Kazekage. They would like to meet our source of said information; do you think that would be wise?"

Once again, it was easy for him to guess what the Old Man was hinting at. Translation: What information do you have on them that might prove useful? "Do you think they can be trusted, Hokage-sama?" he asked without turning around. "I only know a little bit about their politics, but their Council is running things right now, isn't it?"

"Yes."

Disappointing news. "I know of the guy they'll pick for their fourth Kazekage, and he's a real piece of work, but he also truly wants to protect his village. Like my own father, in more ways than one... Anyway, suffice it to say, if you could get him to see that a treaty would be in his village's best interests, he'd go for it. But I don't know this Council, so I can't help you there. Sorry."

Then he left, once again wondering how much damage he'd just done to the future. His team was waiting for him further down the hall, and the suspicious glances he thought he'd receive were instead curious. Whatever you told them, Dad, or whatever they told you, I'm grateful for.

"So...where's Kakashi?" Naruto figured he had nothing to lose by asking, and he was genuinely curious.

Rin answered him this time. "Oh, Big-Shot's in the hospital. He got himself a lovely concussion while training with Obito here." She held up his burned hand for emphasis.

"Speaking of that, a little birdie tells me that you know a little sealing. Is that true?" Minato asked.

Ah. Pervy Sage. "What, is peeking at girls in the hot springs not enough for him anymore? Or does he need a different kind of research for a new book?" He knew perfectly well why he was being watched, but a chance to insult the man's pervy-ness? How could he resist?

His father laughed, thinking the same thing. "No, but I was wondering if you'd be willing to try it out on Obito's injury here. Unless it's too much for you to handle, of course." Great, get my pride going. Nice strategy, Dad. Fine, I'll play along for now.

"Of course not! I can do anything! Believe it!!" To no one's surprise, Obito repeated his infamous phrase...three times louder. Heh, I've really missed saying that over the years.

Besides, seeing the legendary Yellow Flash with a big grin on his face was more than worth it. "Ok, sure, but let's get out of this hallway first, alright?"

In Minato's living room:

The young Uchiha was about the most curious and irritating kid Naruto had ever met. First, he'd wanted to watch him make the seal--no biggie. Then, he'd wanted him to explain what the symbols meant. A little more difficult, but again, no biggie. After that, he'd asked why some lines were shorter, others longer, some thicker, and some thinner. Oh, and why a few had to be in this shape or that shape, what it would do if the shape was wrong, and if he required special paper, ink, training, etc. That last question Obito had managed to spit out in the space of 10 seconds, panting to catch his breath afterwards. Naruto had finally stopped answering him altogether and just concentrated on finishing his seal.

"Cool..." whispered Obito as he saw it taking shape, quiet for once in his short life. "THAT'S SO AWESOME SHOW ME HOW TO DO THAT I WANT TO LEARN SHOW ME SHOW ME PLEASE!" Apparently, once and only once.

Minato was the first to speak this time. "Obito. Shut up. I have a headache." Probably from the humiliation of learning how to transform into a naked woman.

"That makes two of us," Naruto pointed out. "Anyway, this isn't as easy as it looks. When you use seals to heal, you have to take everything into consideration. How'd the injury get there? How serious is it? Is it infected? How long has it been there? What kind of damage did it cause? Why do you think it's taking so long to draw one? Honestly, Rin would probably be a much more effective teacher for this sort of thing because of all the medical information you have to be aware of."

There was a long pause in the living room. Till Obito broke it, again.

"Um, Naruto? You're making my head hurt."

Shaking his head, he replied. "Never mind. Just let me get a look at your burns." After a few minutes, he took out another page out of his special, chakra-covered notebook and began to draw.

Let's see...he hurt his hand than 24 hours ago, so this line needs to be shorter and a bit thicker. Have to account for the fact that it's a burn, too; gotta put the word "fire" right here. It has already been partially treated, so this needs an extra swirl to channel the chakra here instead of there...gotta cover for possible nerve and tendon damage, so I'll add...

Twenty minutes later and he was done. He placed the piece of paper on the hyper boy's hand and began to insert his chakra through it very, very carefully. Five more minutes passed and the kid's eyes widened. "It doesn't hurt anymore! YAY!!!"

"Yay, indeed, Naruto." His father looked at him proudly. Hm. I wonder what happened to him being suspicious back in the Old Man's office...

"Sakura, I don't want you to worry about a thing, ok? I'll take care of it. That seal will keep that genjutsu up as long as I'm alive; it's completely unbreakable so that no one will know. And here, hold onto this. Keep it with you wherever you go, and if you ever need my help, just focus a little bit of your chakra into it and I'll come running."

"Naruto, this can only be hidden for so long. Eventually, this kid's going to be born, and what do we say then??"

"I have a plan for that. Do you trust me?"

"Yes. With my life."

The results had come back. He'd stayed up till 3:00 a.m. just to run and check the results himself. It was impossible, and yet there was no way he could deny it. The poor ANBU guards that were still there wanted nothing more than to go home and rest, but the Hokage had one last assignment before he sent this particular pair away.

"Bring Naruto Namikaze here at once." This can't be...he's too young to have a son this age! He would have been 10 years old! And I have it on good authority that he's never even done...that...before in his life, so how?

He didn't have to wait long for answers as the boy himself walked in 15 minutes later. Immediately, he dismissed his guards and activated every privacy seal he could. Sarutobi only had one word in mind: "Explain."

"A friend of mine sent me back to the past. To me, this all happened almost a quarter of a century ago. Don't ask me why I look 13, but in reality, I'm closer to 25. Ayu seems to have a strange sense of humor..."

"N-no, that's--"

"Impossible? Allow me to let you in on a little information. I know you're planning on making my father the next Hokage, even though you haven't informed anyone of this yet. You once considered your student, Orochimaru, a prime candidate, but lately his actions have been...troubling you, yes?"

All the Sandaime Hokage could do was nod.

Naruto continued. "I'm going to give you the locations of one of his bases. Check it and see for yourself what he's been up to."

The old man was trembling. "What should I expect to see?"

"Death. Bodies everywhere. Remember when you found Tenzou?"

What the...? "WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT!" He rose from his desk, glaring at the boy/man standing in front of him, who replied very calmly.

"Out of 60 babies, he was the only survivor. Orochimaru was the one who experimented on them, and if you don't hunt him down and kill him, it will come back to haunt you, this village, and every single nation on this continent. Just to let you know." Naruto grinned as though he'd merely been talking about the weather, but his eyes were cold and hard. This was no joke to him.

He cursed. He cursed long and hard as he sat back down. In truth, the Hokage had known all along that his student was up to no good, but...he just couldn't. And now this supposed man from the future was telling him that he had no choice. But still, something was bothering him.

"How'd you know about Tenzou? That information was sealed by my own two hands. Only the Hokage has access to it, and I don't care what time you come from. There's no way you could know that without stealing the records!"

To his irritation, Naruto just smiled again. "Unless I had been the Hokage, that is. Right?"

Sarutobi cursed again, out loud, this time. "You?? Are you saying that you are a Hokage from the future??"

"Ah, well, sort of. I'd been in training for the position ever since I'd turned 17, but I didn't want to take over just then for personal reasons. But the current leader had let me see some of the sealed files just to get the hang of it, and she would let me help out in the office, as well. She really only let me see parts of certain records, though. For example, I know what we'll most likely find in the Land of Earth because of that. The girl would be around 8 years old right now, and she has very, very strong connections to this village. Not only that, but even at this age, she's pretty strong. Believe me when I say that you definitely want her on our side, not theirs."

The Hokage's hands were trembling. He really was telling the truth. This is...ridiculous. "Will your team be enough to get the girl out and bring her here safely?"

"I think so. You still might want to send Jiraiya along as backup, just in case. I mean, I can take them, no problem, but that would raise too many uncomfortable questions, if you get my drift. I think Minato-sensei could, as well, but I also don't think he can be everywhere at once, despite the rumors."

Grumbling, the village leader said that he would contact the sage and the boy left, telling him to return in the morning for an official forehead protector and test to see which level he could be safely placed at; he wasn't quite ready to trust all of the blonde's claims.

Besides, he was irritated, and seeing the self-proclaimed Fifth Hokage get his butt kicked would go a long way towards making him feel better.

I'd really like to ring someone's neck, that's for sure. And he was right about his father; I really was about to announce him as the Fourth. Yondaime and Godaime as father and son...that sounds nice. He stood up from his chair and began heading out of his office to finally go home when a thought hit him and he stopped dead in his tracks. Wait a minute...Naruto said "she." He specifically referred to a WOMAN Hokage. Does that mean...

"HOLY CRAP! MINATO GETS TRAPPED IN THE SEXY JUTSU!"

"Naruto-kun?" Hinata hesitantly poked her head inside his door. She'd been knocking for 10 minutes and he still hadn't answered. But since it was unlocked, she figured she'd check to make sure he was ok.

He was. He'd just fallen asleep so deeply that he hadn't heard her. Currently, he was lying on his bed, half-naked, and covers all over the floor.

Hinata blushed at seeing the bare chest of the young man she had fallen for years ago. She was still fairly shy and extremely modest. But that didn't mean she was going to cover him up. She also knew it was wrong to stare at others and felt embarrassed whenever caught. But that didn't mean she was going to stop ogling him. Oh no. She fully intended to stand right next to him and stare for as long as she could, blushing madly and with a slight nosebleed. Even the thought of Naruto catching her didn't deter her one little bit.

Actually, she was kind of hoping he would. Hinata would like that. She'd like that a LOT and could hardly wait till she could stare at him everyday as much as she wanted without fear of humiliation. It wouldn't be long now. Their wedding was just weeks away...

"Skipping, dancing, and twirling, these are a few of my favorite things," the young Uchiha sang. Out loud. In public. In a crowd. And very, very off-key. While skipping, dancing, and twirling like a ballerina.

He did it on purpose. Obito liked the stares. Why wouldn't he? No one would even glance his way otherwise. Being essentially ousted from a clan was hard; those that didn't ignore him were rare. Also, he'd heard that his mother had recently had another child--another son. He'd been replaced, and they'd made that perfectly clear to him as they'd named the new baby Obito, as well. Officially, the elder son no longer existed in their records; anything of his that he'd left at home was now forever someone else's.

And the boy was desperate for the attention. Plus, if he could convince them that he didn't care, then they would lose at their little game. Why had he even gotten kicked out in the first place? For being "weak."

Which is why I like the new teammate so much, he thought to himself. Rin-chan and Minato-sensei pity me and Kakashi feels as though it's his job to remind me of my situation every time he looks at me, but Naruto... All it had taken was for him to see through Obito's manipulating ways of getting free food and he'd forever earned his younger teammate's respect. Now, all that remained was for that respect to be reciprocated.

Last night, Obito had decided that, since he wasn't likely to accomplish that through strength (impossible against a powerhouse like that), he'd do it through training, determination, and, last but most certainly not least, PRANKS.

He continued his skipping, dancing, twirling, and singing all the way to the ramen stand. Naruto was bound to show up sometime, and when he did, Obito would have a little gift for him.

A sly grin plastered itself on the dark-eyed boy's face as he saw the rest of his team already there. Hmmm, a 4-for1 deal, eh? He pulled out a few small packages from his pocket and made his way to a stool.

"Good morning, everybody!" Be your usual, chipper self and no one will suspect a thing!

Kakashi ignored him (as usual), Minato smiled and gave him a thumbs-up, Rin waved hesitantly (she'd clearly heard the news about his new brother), and Naruto (whom he had sat next to) slapped him on his back and said "Good morning" right back to him.

"I'll have some pork ramen, please!" he announced, loudly enough to get the attention of people all the way across the street. Then he did a mental countdown. Three...two...one...

Minato scratched his shoulder. Kakashi shifted uncomfortably. Rin shivered. And Naruto jerked his head up in surprise. Operation: infect with itching powder is a success!

He thought that just until he noticed an irritating tickling sensation right between his shoulder blades. Oh, no, don't tell me...

The blonde teen turned to him and smiled as he struggled to restrain his attempts at scratching. "Great Prankers do think alike!" Their companions were now straining to relieve the infuriating sensations that plagued them. "You know, we should hurry up and get out of here before they find out we had something to do with this."

Obito couldn't agree more. First stop: the showers--to wash the powder off!

One problem. However fast they were, the Yellow Flash was always faster, even with his movements being somewhat...impaired. He stood before the dashing-off pair now, eyes glinting in anger (and embarrassment).

"We'll discuss this later, you two. Naruto, since you've finished your breakfast" scratch scratch "you can head over to the Hokage's right now." Scratch scratch scratch. "Yes, before you get to wash the powder off. You can follow and observe, Obito, since I have something to take care of at the moment." Minato continued to scratch as he glared. "Get going!"

The two jumped over the rooftops quickly to escape, and as soon as they were a safe distance away, they laughed. And tried desperately not to scratch.

"Hahahaha! Did you see that? We got them GOOD! Hey, did you put the powder on all of them, too?"

"Yup! They got a double dose, and my versions a little...tricker to get off." Naruto looked slightly guilty at that. It only took the Uchiha two seconds to realize why.

"HEY! That's the same stuff you put on ME, isn't it!"

The blonde rubbed the back of his head and laughed nervously. "Um, yeah."

Obito felt his blood boil as his face turned red in anger. "You...you're going to pay for this, Namikaze."

And with that, a merry little chase began. It ended only once they'd gotten to the Hokage's office, with both boys still trying not to think about their uncomfortable dilemmas.

They were allowed into the office immediately. The Third looked up from his paperwork and barely glanced at him before staring at the blonde, as though unsure of whom he was looking at. "Are you ready for your test, Naruto Namikaze?"

"Yup! Sure am, Old Man!"

Obito cringed. Old Man?

Sarutobi, however, hardly seemed to notice. "Good, then here is your opponent. Jiraiya, you may enter."

Even Naruto's eyes widened in shock as the sage jumped in through the open window and just leaned on a wall, watching. So, one of the legendary Sannin was going to determine his new teammate's rank? "Glad I'm not in your shoes, Buddy."

All he got was a weak laugh in return.

"Well? Get to it! Feel free to observe, Obito, but don't get in the way."

Great! He'd get to observe, after all! This was something he definitely didn't want to miss. He just hoped his new friend would survive. He wanted the recipe for that altered itching powder badly.

As Jiraiya motioned to Naruto and the two leaped out of the still-open window, the Sandaime turned to him with a smirk. "Let's go watch the fun, shall we?"

Sorry this is a bit later than I had planned. College. Anyway, I might end up editing this chapter a bit later on, but I'll let you know if I do.

Hope you enjoyed! And I love getting reviews, by the way, so thank you!