Forgotten Memories

By Elle Pellano

Disclaimer: I do not own Shaman King.

Author's Note: This chapter is full of flashbacks centering on Ayako.

Chapter 14: Kino's secret

Manta felt clammy all over. There were too many shocking news and revelations that day that he did not know where to keep this one on his already bursting mind. Yoh's grandma as a killer was something really farfetched.

Old Kino continued telling her story when no one reacted to her statement earlier. Her grandson and his friends wore confused faces but nobody dared to interrupt her.

"Thirty-five years ago, I found a crying four-year old girl in a secluded place in Osorezan. The child was called Ayako and she had a very special gift. She had highly sensitive spiritual powers and she was apparently abandoned by her family because of these abnormal abilities. Like most of the forsaken girls, I took her into the newly-established Asakura itako training center. She became one of the best that the center had ever produced. Although mentors should never have favorites, I grew fond of the child and treated her as my daughter since I left my own Keiko most of the time to the care of her father in Izumo… I tried my best to be a mother to Ayako even sometimes forgetting that she wasn't really of my own flesh and blood, even breaking the barrier between student and master…."

The old woman closed her eyes and began to reminisce…

Kino held a lamp and an umbrella and waited patiently outside the inn. The night had already set in and it was raining non-stop. Despite the spattering of cold rain drops, she was heating up with anger and was thinking of appropriate punishment methods for this one student who broke the curfew. She raised the lamp further out when she noticed a fast-approaching body in the form of a scurrying 10-year old girl.

"Why are you late? Dinner had started." She scolded the panting child soaked in the rain as she pulled her towards the inn. She gave her a towel to dry herself up and a warm robe to wear. "Have you been to that place again?"

"Yes, Master Kino," the little girl nodded in embarrassment.

"Ayako, how many times have I told you that there is nothing in that place that could point to you where your relatives are."

"But I want to find my real parents, Master Kino... I met someone there who can tell me about them."

Thinking that the child was having delusions, Kino knelt down in front of her and rested her hands on the child's shoulders. "Please stop this nonsense, Ayako. You should never believe in strangers. They left you there when you were very small. We're your family now and we love you even though we're not related."

Old Kino sighed, "She kept on visiting the place where she was abandoned. It's as if she was looking for some clues to trace the whereabouts of her own family. These daily visits to that secluded part of Osorezan went on for years. I couldn't stop her from searching because she kept on telling me she knew someone who can relay information about her blood relatives. I was reluctant to support her in her quest because assisting her might mean losing her eventually. Yes, it was a bit selfish on my part and this was something I had dearly paid for."

"I tried to divert her attention from this endless search by training her to become an itako master so she could teach the new interns when she turned 18. I was successful in doing so. She graduated at the top of the class and possessed more advanced channeling skills than the rest of my apprentices. Everything went pretty well for five years until she met this man. He was a prominent young man who paid a visit to the temple on a regular basis at a certain month of the year. Each time he did, he would often seek the aid of an itako to contact his dead father. He seemed nice, well-off, and educated. The only draw back is that he is a normal human being. I never did agree to his and Ayako's blossoming relationship. Shamans must marry shamans as much as possible. It was like the law of nature, something that was imposed for logical reasons."

"If I remember it clearly, your duties in the temple were over five hours ago," Kino folded her arms and wrinkled her forehead at the 23-year old lady who had just slipped quietly into the inn on the strike of midnight.

"I'm marrying him, Master Kino," Ayako's eyes twinkled with happiness despite her master's intense disapproval of her lover.

"This is absurd! You just met him a few months ago. Does that man know you well enough? Does he accept you for who you are? Does he have a deep understanding of what being an itako means? That you are not just any spirit medium whom he can ask to contact his dead loved ones?"

"We love each other, Master Kino. It's the only thing that matters," the student walked past her teacher then slid open her room. She stopped and sighed before going in, "If only you had a son, I would love to marry him to keep our ties bound. But we know too well that I can never belong to the Asakura clan. I wished to be part of my own family not just any abandoned girl who was adopted but bore no last name."

Old Kino continued, "Ayako was firm about everything she decided on. She eloped with her lover and was never heard of for some time. She did come back after two months but she was not the person she used to be. I tried to coax her into telling me what had transpired during the time that she was away but she refused. She grew secretive and reserved even neglecting her duties as a trainer in the inn. I felt powerless since I couldn't do anything to help my apprentice recover from whatever trauma she experienced. What's more frustrating on my part is that she began visiting the place where she was abandoned once more. She would leave early in the morning and return late in the evening when everyone was already asleep. She continued this habit for months. I was not able to talk to her about it since I had to leave the inn as soon as I heard my husband's prediction of Hao's return. My daughter, Keiko was already 8 months pregnant that time. One night when I came back to the training center straight from Izumo, I waited for Ayako to come home to finally confront her. It was then that I've noticed her tummy had gone noticeably bigger.

"I'm pregnant, Master Kino," Ayako began weeping bitterly.

"Since when?" her master asked with a serious tone.

"For three months already…"

Kino's eyes softened then gave her apprentice a warm hug and whispered, "Why are you crying? You should be happy you'll be a mother."

"I do not want this child. I do not want that wicked man's child. He refused to marry me when he found out that my spiritual abilities are real. He thought that my channeling at the temple was all for show. He said his friends will think of him as a crackpot and after he had his fill of me, he abandoned me in the streets to fend for myself. He can not accept the fact that I'm not normal."

"My dear Ayako, the child has nothing to do with the father's faults. You should not hate it just because its father had left you. I'll help you in any way possible I can to raise your child. I'm happy that my two daughters would finally become mothers."

The pregnant Ayako broke from her master's embrace. Between sobs she asked, "I heard some of the trainees talking about Master Yohmei's prediction. Are you going to kill your grandchild because he is Hao Asakura's reincarnation?"

"The council of elders had spoken… It is but my duty to uphold their verdict," Kino whispered sadly.

"Then you should never lecture me on how to become a mother," Ayako pushed her master aside then hurried to her room.

"The next month, Keiko bore twin sons and you all know the rest of that story," Kino paused and looked at Yoh who was still keeping quiet throughout her revelation.

"Five months later, Ayako bore a lovely baby girl whom she named Anna. I was also at her side when she labored and gave birth but up to that very day, she remained resolute in giving the child away.

"I do not want to raise that child here. Please find her perfectly normal parents. I do not want her to become a freak like me. Master, I heard you let your other grandson live. I'm sorry for implying that you're a bad mother…." Ayako's words resounded in Kino's mind at that moment.

"I tried to locate Anna's real father but failed. I heard that he left the country to marry the daughter of a rich foreign family friend. Luckily, I found a childless couple praying at the temple to their dead ancestors one day. They gladly accepted Anna and promised to take care of her. I thought Ayako would be happy that her daughter had finally found a family but she seemed less interested about the whole thing. She was getting enigmatic as time passed. She began withdrawing herself from people once more and stayed the whole day in "that" part of Osorezan again. A month after Anna's adoption, Ayako approached me with this really unexpected decision.

"I want to train as a shaman in the Patch Village," the adult Ayako said with convicton. "Being a shaman would open more doors of opportunities for me Master."

"It's a totally different craft, Ayako. Itakos exist to help people. We are not trained for combat. Don't you want to be an itako master anymore?" Kino asked with disappointment in her eyes.

"This is why we are weak. We're just made to support shamans but we can not defend ourselves alone. I want to be stronger, Master. Please let me go to the Patch Village."

"It was a sudden shift in career. Nonetheless, I supported her decision because it would take her mind off things. It would also prevent her from coming to that place which I suspected had been driving her mad. When she left the center for the Patch village, I began my own investigation. I discovered ancient records in the inn's repository which accounted the life of Patch Hao's ill-fated wife during her stay in Osorezan. A shamanic village once stood on the current spot where the Asakura itako training center was built. It was said that Hao had left his wife and son in a secluded place in the mountain where they were found by the inhabitants of the village. They stayed there for months but when news of Hao's defeat by Yohken Asakura went around the Shamanic community, they immediately left for the Patch Village. I was not able to trace what had happened after they returned to the Patch. The last entry in the record was dated three months after they left the shamanic village and it only showed a detailed description of the burial ground of Hao's wife. The place where Suzume found Anna, the place where Ayako's parents have left her is the final resting place of Patch Hao's wife."

Manta was the first one to gasp. "Grandma Kino, do you think the person whom Anna's mother was referring to as someone who could tell her about her parents was --"

"Yes, Manta, it was the spirit of Hao's wife residing in that place," Kino confirmed his guess.

"That's very odd. Shouldn't she have gone to the after life considering she's more than 500 years old here on earth?" Lyserg thought out loud.

"That is a question that has yet to be answered," Kino said. "Going back to my story, Ayako came home looking as enthusiastic as ever because of the new techniques she had learned from the Patch.

"How was your training at the Patch village?" Kino greeted her student who was gone for a long time.

"I've learned a lot of things, Master Kino. Did you know that permanent spirit unity can render the shaman more powerful because he has full control of his partner spirit's abilities?"

"Nonsense, that's not possible and if it is, it would be very dangerous on the part of the spirit medium. Your mind and body will become unstable because it can not contain two souls for a long period of time."

"But Argon said a tribe who can successfully do the technique had prospered once."

"The fact that that the tribe does not exist anymore is a concrete proof of the technique's perilous effects. Who is this Argon anyway?"

"A friend I met in the Patch."

"Be careful with the people you meet, Ayako. You should not trust everybody. It would be better if you would look for a partner spirit who can support you as a friend not as a weapon."

"Oh, I already have someone in mind, Master."

"Ayako met someone by the name of Argon who taught her how to merge souls permanently."

More gasps were heard from the audience.

"Do you think it's the same Argon that accompanies Hao now?" Jeanne asked.

"That's a big possibility," Ren answered her.

"What do you mean by merge souls permanently? Horo Horo wrinkled his nose. He didn't like the sound of that.

"Is it the same as our hyoi gattai?" Yoh inquired.

"No, it's a different technique. Spirit unity involves a temporary union of the shaman's and his guardian spirit's souls. This special technique she was talking about involved total permanent joining of two souls. It was too late when I found out that Ayako was planning to merge with the spirit of Hao's wife."

"She's crazy! Why would she want to do that?" Chocolove wanted to pull his Afro-hair because of frustration but hesitated when he realized it would ruin his style.

"That remains to be an unsolved mystery up to this very day," Kino said grimly. "I followed Ayako to her favorite place one fateful night. When I caught up with her she had already completed the ritual. As expected, it went totally wrong. The soul of Hao's wife had overpowered her own.

Kino formed beads of sweat in her forehead. The person in front of her was no longer her student but a crazed woman laughing maniacally under the moon light.

"I've waited for almost 500 years trying to free myself from this wretched place," the possessed Ayako with a deeper voice announced.

"Get out of my student's body you evil spirit!" Kino stepped forward from the shadows and shouted angrily.

Ayako let out a mischievous grin, "This girl had already committed her life to mine. She had such a poor weak soul. It was way too easy for me to trick her into following my orders as payment for some vital information regarding her blood parents. Now is the time to get back on the people who had hurt me. Since you're not part of the list, I'm going to leave you now." She turned her back on Kino and started to walk away.

"Wait, I have stronger spiritual abilities than her which could amplify your own powers better. Please possess me instead and leave her be!" Kino pleaded.

Ayako paused, turned around and examined her from head to toe, "You are already aging, woman but you're right. Your spiritual energy is far more powerful than this girl." She grinned wickedly, "Well then, if you insist…"

Kino saw the spirit of a Patch woman slowly floating out of Ayako's body. However, a hand from another spirit grabbed the Patch woman's arm and pulled her in. An angry scream followed. Kino heard Ayako's soft voice crying out to her amidst the shrieks coming from the other soul.

"Master Kino, I'm sorry for being such an awful headache. I'd like you to promise me one thing… If ever you meet my daughter someday, please accept her into your family just the way you did for me."

Kino nodded as tears rolled down her cheeks. She began to perform a soul sealing technique which she used to tame evil spirits.

"Kill me now. The only way to liberate this body is through death." Ayako was weeping and writhing in pain at the same time.

A burst of white light surrounded Ayako intensifying her agonizing screams. Two balls of light - one was red the other black came racing out of her mouth. When they merged into one dark ball the white light which had been encircling Ayako consumed the dark ball and descended on a stone slab behind her motionless body. The sealing technique was finished.

Kino hurried to her fallen apprentice and cradled her dead body in her arms. She brushed off the long blond hair covering her face as she wept, "Anna will belong to the Asakura clan from now on, I promise."

End of Chapter 14

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