When Peter arrived home he walked through the door with a grin on his face. Herbert was the daytime babysitter and was watching the kids. They were all gathered around him. "And that's why you should always use a condom." Herbert told the kids. Chris rushed over to Peter and said in a kidlike voice, "Daddy!"

Peter looked at Chris and asked him, "Did anything strange or unusual happen to you today?"

Chris thought for a second and said, "Jersey Shore has a second season."

Peter nodded and said, "Yeah that is strange. I meant anything to you."

Meg sighed and asked, "Are you high?"

Peter got a little bit mad and said, "Hell no! Though I'm a little bit drunk."

Later that day Joe and Quagmire were visiting Peter. He had to tell someone about what happened at work.

"You got promoted on the spot?" Joe asked.

Peter nodded and said, "It'll be the best. I just had a feeling that was going to happen."

"That's the craziest thing I have ever heard of." Quagmire said.

Peter jotted some stuff down on a pad of paper and said, "I'm going to test a theory tonight. When the kids are in bed I'm going to tell them a western story of some sort."

Carter Peutershmit entered and said, "Griffin I'm impressed with your work. I couldn't be any happier for you."

"Really?" Peter asked.

"Yeah but you're still an idiot." Carter said.

"Wait a minute! You're rich right?" Peter asked.

Carter rolled his eyes and said, "No I'm a fat retarded guy who sits on the couch in his underwear watching a Brady Bunch marathon. Of course I'm rich."

"How much does a Ferrari cost?" Peter asked.

Carter laughed. "About $200,000."

"You're crazy Peter!" Quagmire yelled.

Peter rubbed his hands together slowly and said, "Don't you guys worry I have an idea."

Later that evening Brian gathered with the kids, as Peter was about to tell his story.

"Who wants to hear a western story?" Peter asked.

"Oh God I hope it's not a Brokeback Mountain story." Brian chimed in.

Peter cleared his throat, ignoring Brian and started his story.

Once upon a time in the old west, there was a man named Big Pete. He was the man of the town. A lot of people liked Big Pete and graced him wherever he roamed. His trusty old steed was getting tired and couldn't take anymore of his weight. Sheriff Broncos was nice enough to offer him a new horse for FREEEEEEEEE!

"My that sounds like a pretty sweet deal." Big Pete said touched.

"For the great things you have done for this town, I had to reward you." Sheriff Broncos winked.

The horses name was Ferrari. He was the fastest horse in the world. Big Pete climbed on his horse and suddenly took off as fast as lightning.

"What the hell?" Stewie barged. "He gets a free horse and everyone thinks he's cool? That's totally lame!"

"Trust me it gets better." Peter said.

Big Pete loved riding his horse. There was a bit of danger at the saloon. Lady Lois was being held up by a large crowd.

"Help! Somebody help me!" Lady Lois cried.

Chris chimed in with the story.

Big Pete rushed over to Lady Lois with his steed and whisked her onto his horse.

"Now you listen here. I think it's about time that you leave this young lady alone." Big Pete warned.

The mob ran away from Big Pete and was never harmed again.

Peter continued the story.

Once Lady Lois was rescued they sat by a shady tree.

"Thank you for saving me." Lady Lois said relieved. "Is there anything I can do in return?"

Big Pete grinned, "No thanks is necessary."

Stewie raised his hand. "All of a sudden a bird crapped on him!"

A bird flew over Big Pete and pooped on him.

"The End!" Chris said as he clapped his hands.

"What the hell was that?" Peter asked. "Why would a bird crap all over him?"

Brian pulled out a bottle of whisky and said, "Peter, stories aren't made to be true."

The next morning was an odd day for Peter. It was the weekend and Peter didn't have to work. Carter was having an auto show auction at his house. Neighbors from Quahog gathered for the event. Peter pulled out his wallet and counted his money.

"Crap. I only have $50." Peter said as he shuffled through his wallet.

Brian rolled his eyes and said sarcastic, "I'm assuming you want to buy a Ferrari."

Peter sighed and said, "I just want to make Lois love me again. I hate being a single father like Kevin Federline. I mean sure he's crazy here and there but he means well."

The Ferrari was up on the stage. Carter looked at the card in front of him and said, "For this 2008 Red Ferrari, the bidding will start at $5,000."

"$50!" Peter shouted.

Carter looked at Peter and said, "No asshole! I said $5,000."

Peter raised his credit card and said, "$5,000!"

Carter slapped his head. "Damn it! No credit cards!"

Johnson was a few feet away and yelled out, "$5,000!"

Peter looked at Johnson and said, "Damn you Johnson! Why are you trying to be better than me?'

Johnson chuckled and said, "That's what I do Griffin. You might've been promoted right away but I will always be better than you."

Carter looked around and said, "$5,000 for the red Ferrari. Do I hear $6,000?"

Brian yelled out, "$6,000!"

Peter was baffled. "Now you want a Ferrari?" he asked.

Brian nodded and said, "That's what friends do." Johnson chuckled and shuffled through his wallet.

"$50,000!" Johnson yelled.

Carter gasped in awe and said, "Ladies and gentlemen $50,000!"

Brian sighed and said, "Well I tried."

"Sold to Johnson!" Carter said as he banged the hammer.

On the drive home Peter was pretty upset. All of a sudden he saw a giant mob crowded around Lois. Peter got out of the car and said, "Leave her alone! If you guys don't scram I'm going to get Joe Swanson over here to arrest you guys."

The mob members looked at each other and left Lois alone.

"You saved me again!" Lois said as she wrapped herself in Peter's arms.

All of a sudden a bird flew over Peter and pooped on him. "Ha! Take that fatty!" the bird mocked as he flew away.

Lois looked at Peter and let go of him. "You are a disgrace Mr. Griffin!" Lois said.

As Lois left Peter became very sad. Brian comforted Peter and asked, "Did you notice something strange?"

"I got crapped on?" Peter asked.

"Yes that. Peter, whenever the kids say something in the story, it happens to you in real life. So you didn't get a new car." Brian said.

Peter had an idea. He rushed over to Lois and saw her get into a Ferrari. "Freaking sweet! Do I follow you and get one of those?" Peter asked.

Lois punched Peter in the face and said, "No. Peter I worked very hard at the family company and I got high pay! As part owner of the business I got this Ferrari. I mean daddy had 3 of these."

Lois drove away from Peter as he cried in his tears. Then an idea popped into his head.

"I have a better idea!" Peter said proudly.

Brian sighed and said, "I have a feeling its going to be another story."