Peter and Lois arrived at her house. Once they got inside there was a room of Peter's exes. The girls whispered to one another. The brunette woman stuttered and asked, "Peter? Is that you?" Peter didn't seem happy to see his exes. He crossed his arms and didn't say anything. The red head whispered something to the other girls. The girls nodded and started doing the Hokey Pokey.

"You put your right foot in. You take your right foot out. You put your right foot in and you shake all about. You do the Hokey Pokey and turn yourself around. That is what it's all about." The girls sung.

Peter and Lois looked at one another and slowly backed out of the house. Peter looked at Lois and said, "I haven't been this confused since I saw Inception."

Nothing happened. A flashback was supposed to appear. Peter asked Lois, "Where's the freaking flashback?"

Lois sighed and said, "Budget cuts."

Peter slapped his head and said; "Now you tell me!"

When Peter got home he took deep breaths of exhaustion. "What happened today?" Brian asked.

"I just realized something scary Brian!" Peter said. "It takes 54,000 licks to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop." Brian sighed. "I was hoping you would realize that everyone but you controls the stories you tell." Peter scoffed a bit. "Yeah right!" Suddenly a wind chime was heard. Peter had an idea.

"Brian I got it! The kids control the story! Not me!" Peter said excited.

The doorbell rung. Peter answered. Tom Pocket Pat was at the door. "Mr. Griffin it's very nice to see you. How's the plan for the new brewery coming?" he asked.

"Not well. I'm trying to think of some good ideas." Peter said.

Brian asked Tom, "Where's the new brewery going to be?"

Tom chuckled a bit and said, "At the high school Chris and Meg go to." Brian gasped. "This can't happen! I'm not going to let this happen!" he yelled. Tom sighed and said sarcastic, "Oh I'm sure you can't blame me! Peter supported the idea."

Blank stares were pointed at Peter. Brian bit Peter's arm as Peter waved his arm trying to get Brian off him. Tom closed the door and left. "YOU SON OF A BITCH!" Peter yelled while looking at the scar on his arm.

Brian exited the house. "I'm disappointed in you Peter." He said.

"Wait!" Peter yelled. "Don't go!"

Brian turned around. "Can you explain why you did that?" Brian asked.

"I didn't want it to happen! I mean on the way home I got drunk and forgot about the whole thing but now I realized that drinking isn't the solution to my problems." Peter explained. "Trust me in tonight's final story I'll make sure nothing bad happens."

Later that night the kids were snug in their beds. Peter crossed his legs and said to the kids, "Okay kids. This is the final story. The theme is science fiction."

"Damn! Not another Star Wars story!" Stewie groaned.

"Stewie it's not a Star Wars story! Trust me on this." Peter explained.

It was the year 2050. It was the 10th annual Anti Gravity Space fight. Pete was new to the battle. His opponent was Darth Vader.

"Ah Ha!" Chris shouted. "It is a Star Wars story!"

"Shut up Meg." Peter said to himself.

Darth and Pete were in one heck of a battle.

"Sadly Pete had a speech impediment." Brian said.

As Pete and Darth had their light saber battle a giant booger monster appeared and held Pete hostage. Luckily his good friend Chewbacca saved Pete and could understand what Pete was saying. The leader of the galaxy was watching cheering for Darth to win the battle. All of a sudden the giant booger monster ate Darth.

"When Pete won the battle the galaxy leader threw a fire ball at Pete. Pete became incinerated." Stewie said. "The end."

Peter shouted, "No! The story can't end like that!"

"Stories weren't meant to have a happy ending." Brian explained as they left the room.

Early the next day Peter began to start shaking. He was flipping through the channels on TV. Shows like "Will it Burn?" and "Fireman" were some of the shows on the TV. Peter switched to the news.

"This just in, an elderly man committed suicide by burning himself on fire. Apparently he was hot on the press." Tom Tucker announced. Peter screamed and turned off the TV.

Brian ran into the room alarmed. "What happened?" he asked.

Peter slowly glanced at Brian and said, "I think I might be on fire Brian. I'm scared."

Suddenly the doorbell rung. Peter answered. When Peter opened the door Tom Pocket Pat was at the door holding an invitation in his hand.

"Hello Mr. Griffin. I hope I'm not bothering you." He said sly.

Peter looked at the invitation form and said, "I didn't know it was your birthday. How old are you anyways? 46?"

Tom sighed deeply while controlling his anger towards Peter and said, "No you ass. I'm 52." Peter laughed and said, "No you're not." Tom quickly returned to the subject. "I'm inviting all of the employees to my Hawaiian themed birthday party! Its today at 6. Can you make it?"

Peter thought about the story from last night and said, "Sure. I'll be there." Peter closed the door and sat down on the ground. "I haven't been this scared since Nightmare on Elm Street came out." Once again no flashback appeared. "Stupid budget cuts." He mumbled.

Later that day Peter was at the Home Depot shopping for fire safety gear. "Flame resistant Christmas Tree spray." He said as he read the label. Peter took off his shirt and sprayed every inch of his body. An employee walked up to Peter and said, "I'm sorry sir those are for Christmas trees."

Peter turned around and sprayed the employee in the face. The employee kneeled on the ground and screamed in pain. Peter looked at the can and said, "Oh my God! I'm so sorry. I'll make it up to you." Peter aimed the can at him and sprayed some of the tree spray in his eyes. Peter fell onto the ground also and screamed, "Oh my God! My eyeballs are on fire! Someone call a medic!"

Once Peter got to the party he was nervous. Brian was beside him making sure Peter didn't do anything stupid. Fire was everywhere. Peter yelped and ducked behind Brian. The fire juggler near the pool was juggling fire. Peter jumped to action and pushed the fire juggler in the pool. "What the hell was that?" Brian asked.

"I didn't do it. He jumped in." Peter explained.

One of the waitresses offered Peter ice cream. Peter glanced at the ice cream and asked, "What's the catch? Are you going to light it on fire?" The waitress gave Peter a puzzled look and said, "No fire. It'll melt. Just take the ice cream and chill pill."

Peter took the ice cream and took one bite of it. He didn't know that there was a bee on the ice cream. Thus the bee stung his tongue. "AAAAAAA!" Peter yelled. "A BEE STUNG MY TONGUE!" The bell rung. Johnson waved his hand and announced, "Will all guests please report to the living room. That means you Mr. Pat."

Peter held his tongue and said swelled up, "I think my tongue is swelling up."

At the presentation Peter was unable to speak clearly. (Authors note: Whenever Peter speaks during this presentation his tongue is completely swollen. Imagine what Peter would sound like if his tongue were swollen.)

Once all of the guests were in the living room, Tom Pocket Pat announced, "I would first like to thank everyone for coming to my birthday party. I am having a wonderful time. So who would like to present their new design for the Tom Pocket Patriot Brewery?"

Peter pointed at Johnson. Johnson smirked and said, "I can't argue with that logic." Johnson and his female assistant walked towards the microphone. Johnson cleared his throat and announced, "Mr. Patriot, beer makes the world go round and round. But where does it stop? My idea for the new brewery should be Vegas style!"

The curtains behind Johnson opened. Beer fountains flowed as confetti sparked from each side of the room. Johnson started to sing a little song.

Johnson: When you first walk into the door,

Our customers will be filled with galore!

So Mr. Patriot please do understand,

Our guests will be greeted by a marching band.

So get off your ass and put on a grin,

Or else the tide will fill in!

So please visit the one and only

Tom Pocket Patriot brewery!

Everyone but Peter and Brian applauded.

"That song was crappier than that time I saw Rent." Brian said to himself.

A flashback appeared.

Brian exited the theater and ripped up his ticket and said, "Worst performance ever."

The flashback ended.

Peter was up next. When he approached the microphone he mumbled some of his words. No one could understand what he was saying.

"Speak up Mr. Griffin!" Tom Pocket Pat demanded.

Peter glared at Tom Pocket Pat and said, "A bee sthung my tongue."

"What did you say?" Tom asked.

"I sthaid a bee…zzzzzz…sthung my tongue." Peter said again but louder.

"A bee stung my tongue." Brian told Tom.

Tom looked at Brian and asked, "You can understand him?"

Brian rolled his eyes and said, "I have a way of understanding his words."

Tom had an idea. "How would you like to translate for us?" he asked.

Brian nodded and stood next to Peter. As Peter talked, Brian translated what Peter was saying.

"I have always thought of this company as an escape from reality. Since I have been drinking for 20 years of my life, I have forgotten everything from the outside world. Our customers deserve to know that it's not what you can do for Tom Pocket Patriot Brewery; it's what Tom Pocket Patriot Brewery can do for you. We should be able to educate our children the rights and wrongs of drinking. So when our children become adults they will be responsible drinkers. Not wasted fat drunks like me." Brian announced.

Everyone stood up and applauded loud. Peter cried a little bit and hugged Brian. Tom Pocket Pat gave Peter a key and said, "Mr. Griffin I highly award you owner of the Quahog Tom Pocket Patriot Brewery."

Peter pulled out the stinger from his tongue and shouted, "Freaking sweet!" Brian tapped Peter on the shoulder and said, "You do realize that you're responsible for breaking down the high school Chris and Meg go to." Peter paused for a moment and said to himself, "Crap."

It was about midnight and the cake was about to be delivered to Tom Pocket Pat. Peter rushed up to him and said, "Mr. Patriot I need a word with you about the construction." Tom ignored Peter and walked to the cake. 46 candles were on the cake. Everyone but Peter and Brian were singing Happy Birthday to Tom. Once Tom was blowing on the candles Peter quickly poured water on the candles. The cake was ruined. Tom looked up at Peter disgusted and said, "Griffin, you're FIRED!"

Peter paused for a moment. "Oh…Fired! I knew it was something like that." Peter said to himself embarrassed.

Early the next morning Peter was rounding up the kids. Lois entered the house and said, "Peter I'm disappointed in you. I can't believe you ruined Mr. Patriots birthday party." Peter sighed and said, "I didn't have a choice. I was worried about getting caught on fire." Brian comforted Peter and told Lois, "He didn't know. That's all. Look Lois I think the best thing we should do is forgive Peter for what he did and protest the demolition of the school."

Peter had an idea. "If we leave now we'll get there before the demolition! I'll drive. Trust me I learned to drive faster in Grand Theft Auto."

Everyone dashed to the car. Peter backed the car up and drove 50 mph down the street dodging the neighbor's cars and pedestrians. Peter took a sharp left and sped down the street. Lois covered her eyes and said, "We're never going to make it. The schools 20 minutes away and the demolition is going to happen in 10 minutes."

Peter put on his game face and drove faster turning left and right dodging kids crossing the street. Lois grabbed onto Peter. Peter looked at Lois and saw her as the empress from the science fiction story. Peter took a sharp right into a construction zone and sped onto a ramp. Peter then remembered the Roman story he told. As the car was in mid air Peter screamed in slow motion, "Can you dig it?" The car landed hard on the ground. Peter kept driving faster. "5 more minutes Peter." Brian announced.

Peter made a sharp left turn. Brian noticed a whip in the back seat and whipped Peter like a horse. Peter yelped and drove 70 mph and remembered his western story. He imagined himself and Lois riding on Ferrari the red horse. Back in reality Peter made a sharp right and dodged more cars and pedestrians. Lois looked at the clock and said, "3 minutes Peter! Hurry!"

As Peter looked out the window he could see the school. He pressed the break hard and turned around. He sped towards the high school at 30 mph. Peter told Lois and Brian, "Jump out of the car now! This is going to be risky."

Lois grabbed Peter and gave him a hard kiss. "Be safe Peter. I love you." She said. Both Lois and Brian jumped out of the car. The doors slammed as Peter drove faster. All of a sudden Peter jumped out of the drivers seat and watched the car run over Johnson. Everyone paused. The car swerved and hit the side of the school. Everyone cheered. Tom Pocket Pat clapped his hands and said, "Mr. Griffin you are an idiot."

Peter walked towards Tom slowly and said, "I'm sorry Mr. Patriot but I had to do it for my kids. I love them so much I don't want them to loose their school. Isn't there a new location where you can build the brewery?"

Tom thought for a moment and said, "Your know Peter you were right the whole time. I'm sorry that I didn't listen to you. If keeping this school is important to you, we can always relocate to a different place. But where?"

Peter grinned and said, "I think I have an idea."

3 months later the Drunken Clam was took down and was replaced with the new Tom Pocket Patriot Brewery where Peter ran the business. Lois and Peter got back together and were remarried. Every night since then Peter would tell bedtime stories to the children and they all lived happily ever after.

The end.