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I shut my locker door, the day couldn't be more glorious if the sun started singing show tunes, silly notion but that's how I feel. I've basically been on cloud 9 since I arrived home early Sunday morning. After sleeping in until around 9:30, I decided to make my father breakfast in bed to apologize for making him worry and assure him that I wasn't kidnapped. He accepted it graciously and we spent the morning together catching up on celebrity gossip and running errands. We met my other father for lunch and I was practically gushing to them all about the time that I spent with Quinn. I left out some of the details, to spare them the images but they seemed generally interested. I toyed with the idea practically all day, whether or not I should text message the blonde that occupied my thoughts. Each time the temptation would rise, I would fight it off, telling myself not to be too eager. As I got ready for bed, my phone buzzed on my night stand. Not getting my hopes up, I continued to fluff my pillows and acted neutral as I walked over to retrieve it, only grinning when I saw that it was from Quinn.
New York City
My confusion about the message was cleared up when another text buzzed through.
That's where we can meet tonight.
I giggled to myself; this is probably the cutest thing that has ever happened to me. I broke it down to the fact that it probably helps her sleep better at night. After all, a lot is on her mind.
The city is a pretty big place.
I waited for her response with bated breath.
Well princess, tell me where to meet you in the City and I'll be there.
I took my bottom lip between my teeth, jumped into bed and slid under the covers, I thought hard, maybe a little too hard. I pushed the fact that she called me princess to the back of my mind to save it for later.
Oh c'mon like you don't know what I'm going to say
I teased her, getting more comfortable with the flow of conversation.
Haha Broadway it is
I roll my eyes, of course she was right.
I'm brought out of memories of the previous night by a quick flash of pain on my face, that's just about the only thing that could have wiped my smile away. I let out of shrill scream; I didn't even see it coming. Normally I have some warning, but I was too lost in my thoughts to even realize it. I was a sitting target. The ice gets into my eyes and it's stinging. I can hear giggles around me and once again I'm 2 feet tall. I habitually train my eyes on the floor so that the slush can drop down off of me, it's blue today. Blue used to be my favorite color.
I hear a crack and what sounds like a growl just a few feet from me, I look up not knowing what to expect. I can't believe my eyes. Slammed up against the locker is David Karofsky, the container that he's holding drops to the floor with deafening sound, against him is head bitch in charge, Quinn Fabray. He's wincing in pain as she pushes him into the locker again, I didn't even know she was anywhere near me. She looks like she's about to punch him in the face, I hope she doesn't, if she gets suspended it will be all my fault. The boy struggles to gain his balance as she gets up into his face, I don't envy his position.
"I'm really sick of you Karofsky, you better stay out of my way, or you're going to have a serious problem" she spat at the boy, she's absolutely raging.
The boy chuckles mockingly, "What? Are you and your pet going to beat me up?" he asks sarcastically, I don't miss the disgust in his tone when he says the word pet, I know it's meant for me.
Quinn shoves him further into the locker, I think he may have hit his head on that one, I grimace.
"Leave. Her. Alone." she speaks through gritted teeth, I've never seen her so venomous.
Santana is behind her, pulling at her shoulders, she's tenses up and it's not until she realizes that it's Santana that she relaxes and allows herself to let go of the boy.
Quinn is breathing heavily as Santana surveys her; she whispers something to her, low enough for me to have to use my imagination. Quinn's head snaps up a second later and her eyes find mine directly. I think for the first time since she's come into this scene she's realized that I've been standing her all along. I can see her features visibly soften, she blinks a few times, her fists finally unclench and she walks toward me.
Beyond her shoulder I can see Santana resume the position that Quinn was just previously in, threatening the boy.
"Listen you piece of shit" she began
Everything else she said was lost on me as I find myself connected with hazel eyes. I disregard the feeling in my neck that signals that I'm about to cry and I ignore the stares from the onlookers.
"Are you alright?" she asks softly, this person is not the same girl from a minute ago.
I shrug and give her a small laugh, because honestly what else can I do in this horribly embarrassing situation, "Nothing I haven't felt before"
"I'm so sorry that I didn't get here sooner" she tells me, I think she's also forgotten about everyone's eyes.
"It's okay"
"It's not" she doesn't miss a beat; it's like she knew what I was going to say.
I close my eyes without control, "You came though. A temporarily bruised ego is better than a broken heart" I tell her honestly.
It really would have broken my heart if she was around and stood by and did nothing. I can't think of it.
Quinn swallows, maybe finally realizing how badly she has hurt me in the past; not only by throwing slushies on me but by not doing anything at all after we were finally in Glee together.
She grabs my wrist as the bell sounds, "C'mon" she pulls me in the opposite direction of the crowd.
"Quinn, you're going to be late for class" I try to tell her as I'm being dragged down the hallway.
She either doesn't hear me or she's choosing not to respond, I'm thinking it's the latter. We reach the bathroom and Quinn goes right over to the paper towel dispenser and begins to collect more than enough sheets of the paper, clearly she's never cleaned up a slushie. I laugh, I'm a seasoned pro. I realize how depressing the statement is but humor is all I have anymore. She wets them with water and she's suddenly standing in front of me so she can gently wipe away the blue stickiness that's starting to dry on my face. I've never seen her act like this.
"You're shaking" I speak softly, after noticing Quinn's hand trembling in front of my eyes.
She swallows, most likely maintaining her composure in front of me; I forget that she has walls up around her when she's at school. I know she's raging on the inside. I swallow some insecurity down and hope that I have some pull over her, the way Santana did moments earlier. My hand sneaks up on her and I gently take hold of her wobbly fingers. The shaking ceases as my palm fully covers her clammy hand, I take the paper towels away from her.
"What's wrong?" I ask her quietly.
She pulls her hand back and begins pacing across the bathroom tiles, she runs her damp hands through her hair, "How can you be so calm?" she asks, turning to face me finally.
I shrug, "I'm used to it", I let the words hang in the air for a few seconds before turning towards the mirror to do my clean up prep.
"You can't let them see it affect you" I speak up after a few minutes of cleaning up.
Quinn has been relatively quiet as she just stares at me from across the room. I've been aware of her eyes on me this entire time, whether it's through the mirror or directly on me. She makes me nervous. It's taken all my strength to continue business as usual but it doesn't mean that the devil on my shoulder hasn't been taunting me to meet her eyes. It feels like I'm under a spotlight and my face is incredibly hot as she watches me.
"What about Friday?" she asks
I recall Friday in my mind; I'm assuming she's talking about the double slushie incident and my breakdown in the bathroom.
"A moment of weakness"
I was weak but not because I was slushied. She doesn't need to know that though.
Quinn pushes off of the wall that she was perched up against, she makes her way over to me, "They can't treat you like this, it's not right. You can't let them get away with this"
I chuckle to myself out of irony, "You were one of them last week" I tell her playfully, giving her a small smile. I want to tap her nose with my finger but I refrain.
It isn't malicious, it isn't even meant to sound like the way I know Quinn just took it.
"You're right" she breathes out, letting the realization sink in.
"Where are you going?" I ask once I see her starting to turn to leave, I'm such an idiot.
"I'm sorry, I have to go"
She's gone a second later, leaving me to feel all kinds of guilty and foolish for even opening my mouth in the first place. I throw the messy paper towels in the garbage and leave the bathroom to go get one of my extra pairs of clothes I have stashed in my locker. I contemplate just staying in these clothes, in case I get bombarded again. I don't know who in their right mind would cross Quinn or Santana but it just feels easier to expect the inevitable. I shake my head, the show must go on. Wardrobe changes before the second act. By the time I get to the hallway, there isn't any trace of the blonde bombshell.
The rest of the day goes on in this fashion, it's evident that Quinn is ignoring me, if I do get a glance of her; she's gone a second later. I've come to the conclusion that she's a ghost. I start considering that she's a figment of my imagination, that anything that happened this past weekend was just a dream. I don't pursue her or go out of my way to talk to her and explain myself; I said nothing but the truth, even if she took it the wrong way. Besides I have already decided that I'm going to approach her after Glee club, I know it will be the perfect time to corner her.
"Mr. Schuester, while I agree with your song choice, are you sure that Tina is the best choice for that solo?" I ask from my spot in my usual chair
I hear the entire group groan as I flip through the sheet music, they're already tired of me and it hasn't even been 5 minutes into the rehearsal.
A booming voice interrupts my thoughts, "And you believe that you're the better option?"
I knew this was going to happen; I blame myself for not stating my reasoning right away.
"No. Mercedes, I was just pointing out—"
"Pointing out that you're the best one in this club, yeah we get it" she rolls her eyes.
I'm taken aback, it appears that my peers are exceptionally annoyed with me today, I don't know what I have done to deserve such treatment, "That's not what I was going to say" I tell her timidly, unaware of where my courage ran off to.
"Seriously Rachel, we get that you think every song should be yours, but give someone else the spot light for once" Kurt adds.
Clearly I missed the memo on my calendar that it was everyone hate on Rachel day, I swallow looking around, hoping that I can find some support from Finn, I'm not sure where we stand but normally he's my go-to when I need help. He just averts his gaze away from me and it's apparent that he agrees with these harsh attacks.
I feel helpless and I just want to crawl into the corner and let them do the song how it was originally intended, even though I know that it will be much better the way it sounds in my head.
"So if you're done with your self-promoting, I think we should let Tina do her solo" Mercedes cuts in again.
"Will you guys shut up?" Quinn barks loudly, everyone snaps their mouths shut.
"Excuse me?" Mercedes asks boldly.
"Excuse yourself" she bites back, "Clearly Rachel wasn't going to say any of what you were accusing her of, if you'd get over your own jealousy, you'd see that. So why don't you let her speak before you cut her down, I'm tired of it" the blonde rubs her temples.
Mercedes opts to not reply to the cheerleader, not wanting to piss her off any further. No one wants the head bitch in charge to come back.
All eyes are on me expectantly; however my eyes are wide and focused on hazel ones as they bore into me.
I clear my throat, "It's nothing" I speak shyly, afraid I'm about to get attacked again.
"No, say what you wanted to say" Quinn demands.
I gulp, hoping to find some of the courage I need, "Well I was just going to say that I think Tina would be much more appropriate for my solo, and it's well in her range."
Tina smiles graciously at me, but I can't be bothered to smile back, I'm too scared.
"So who would get Tina's solo? You?" Kurt asks, still slightly irritated with me for some reason.
"I was going to suggest Mercedes" I pipe up.
I can see that the entire club is speechless and probably feeling a little guilty. I don't gloat in their faces. I just look down to my lap and avoid all of their eyes, especially the hazel ones that I can feel on me.
Mr. Schuester is going over it in his head, I wonder if he is feeling just as guilty as the others.
"That's a good idea Rachel" he announces and shuffles through some papers.
It appears that Finn is only around when there is no sign of tension or drama, so when he reaches his long arm out to drape it over my shoulder while the girls start practicing, I shrug it off my shoulders. He doesn't deserve to pick and chose when he wants to acknowledge me. He frowns and his brows furrow, an obvious sign that he's either upset or confused, he probably doesn't even realize that I just blatantly dissed him. For once I chose to ignore him. I can feel Quinn's eyes on me once again, probably watching what I just did to Finn, I refuse to meet her eyes.
I approach the blonde on my own terms, not when it's convenient for her. Her back is to me and she tenses as I come up to her, I have a feeling that she knows it's me.
"Thanks for sticking up for me" I say quietly to her back.
"It was nothing" the blonde replies, still not turning to face me, instead she keeps herself busy by shuffling her books around in her backpack.
"It was something" I shrug, though she can't see me.
Quinn spins around, her blonde hair falling back into place as she studies me.
"I'm sorry for earlier" I speak again when I have her full attention.
"You were right, and I don't deserve you"
I'm confused by her word choice but before I can voice my concern Quinn excuses herself.
"I have to get going, I'll see you around" she says quietly as she shoulders her bag.
I'm left speechless as I watch her hurry out of the room, away from me. I run a hand through my hair and turn back towards Tina, so I can help her with her new solo.
There's a tap on my shoulder after a few minutes, I spin around quickly hoping to find the hazel eyes I've grown to crave but hate to ignore. I'm met with Mercedes. I don't mean to let the frown escape my lips but I'm slightly disappointed.
"Before you say anything" she starts, "I just wanted to say that I'm sorry"
"It's okay, I understand why you said what you did"
She shakes her head, "I have no excuse for the way I acted"
"I appreciate your apology Mercedes, it's very noble of you"
She chuckles a little before turning serious again, "Look Quinn is right, I don't deserve this solo"
"Quinn? What?" I ask before I can contain myself.
She studies me, "I just got done talking to her in the hallway" she points behind her, "Anyway, I just wanted you to know that I'm grateful"
I nod curtly, too mixed up in my mind to acknowledge her properly. Quinn ran away from me, but had enough time to stop and talk to Mercedes in the hallway. I know I shouldn't let it get to me but it does.
I can't shake off the feeling that something is missing, it's almost the end of the day and something is definitely off. Aside from the fact that Quinn is pretty much still avoiding me. It's not as obvious any more but I know that she is. I want to shake her and tell her that she's crazy for thinking that she of all people doesn't deserve me as a friend. It baffles me. What baffles me further is that while we don't speak in school, for the past two nights I've gotten a text message from her at the same time both nights. The first text is simply a general location, I smile when I read her words. It's sort of like a little ritual we've created, something that only we share. Our banter lasts a few messages, it's always over too soon and it always leaves me breathless. She manages to call me some kind of pet name, which makes me smile, and she lets me pick the specific place that we'll 'meet at in our dreams'. The entire thing is really corny and I try not to read too much into it or else I think I might go crazy.
I study the contents of my locker finally realizing what is missing from my day to day. I see the small bag of emergency clothes untouched before I look down to my current outfit that's completely dry and unharmed. I'm still in the clothes that I wore to school this morning, in fact yesterday I went home in the same clothes that I went to school in. It was extremely unheard of to go two days without a slushie facial, my clothes are dry and my hair is not sticky, something is seriously wrong. Not that I'm complaining but I'm almost more frightened now that I realize it. Sure there are few occasions when I can manage a day where I avoid the corn syrup, but never have I been able to do it two days in a row. I shut my locker, feeling proud of myself; I look up and down the hallway, my smile vanishing at what I see. A husky boy stalking toward me with a hand behind his back, I prepare myself for the inevitable cold rush as he comes to a stop in front of me, I slam my eyes shut and close my mouth. When I don't feel anything, I chance a glance at him, he's looking particularly shy.
"Just get it over with David" I tell him bravely.
He looks up and down the hallway a few times before he pulls his hand out from behind his back. This is it, I brace myself once again.
Instead I'm met with a red apple, most likely stolen from the cafeteria.
"What's this?" I ask, hoping that he won't wind up and pelt me with it.
He offers me the apple, "An apology, I'm sorry for being an asshole, please just tell Santana and Quinn to back off"
I take the apple and study him closely, "What?"
"They're relentless, and they called my mom…twice. I'm sorry for bothering you" his eyes lift for a brief second to look down the hallway, something is obviously spooking him out of this conversation.
"Okay?" I trail off as he practically runs down the hallway.
The news that my biggest tormentor is afraid of the two cheerleaders suddenly finds the missing puzzle piece and fits it into place. Since the debacle in the hallway on Monday, the one where Quinn came to my rescue, no one has attempted to harm me. In fact, now that I think about it, they almost move out of my way when I walk down the hallway. I can't help but wonder what they had done to the hockey player to get him and his cohorts to back off.
Luckily my last period of the day is my study hall, I normally use this period to get my homework done so I can focus on more important things at home but I can afford to forfeit one day. I know for a fact that Santana has a free period as well, or maybe she just skips her last class every day. I know exactly where to find her and when I walk into the gym, I smirk to myself as I see her and Brittany stretching by the bleachers.
"Santana, Brittany" I nod curtly at them as I announce my presence.
"Hi Rachel!" Brittany waves happily, I smile at her.
"Manha—Berry" she replies rolling her eyes.
"Good job San" Brittany tells the girl affectionately.
"What's going on?" I ask
"Nothing" Santana snaps quickly.
"San isn't allowed to call you names anymore, and she's doing a good job" the blonde gushes
"Why?" I ask curiously, my eyes narrowing.
"Did you need something?" Santana barks
"I just had an interesting conversation with Karofsky" I say, tossing the apple in my hand towards the girl.
Brittany grabs the apple and takes a big bite out of it, happily munching away.
I don't miss the way Santana tenses at this news, "So?" she asks, putting her face back on, "Why are you telling me this?" she asks, knowing full well what my reasoning is.
"It was just interesting is all" I smirk
"Yeah, you mentioned that"
"Why was it interesting Rach?" Brittany asks
"He apologized to me" I tell her as I watch the Latina's face closely for clues as to whether or not she has an idea of what I'm talking about.
Brittany claps and breaks my concentration, "Yay! Your threats worked S!"
"So it is true?" I ask
Santana turns around and faces me more fully, grabbing my arm and dragging me away from the bleachers, probably so her partner in crime can't blow up her spot anymore than she has in front of me.
"Look I didn't do it for you" the girl fires
My face falls slightly but I recover, "If you're not doing it for me then who are you doing it for?"
Santana backs herself up into a corner on this one and she knows it too, she sighs thinking of how she can get out of this conversation and still save face.
"Quinn cares about you, I don't know why, and since I care about Quinn, then I'm obligated by default to care about you, slightly."
"That was almost civil Santana, thank you"
The girl rolls her eyes, "Whatever, don't say anything to Q. You were never supposed to find out, Karofsky is going to be spoken to" she crosses her arms across her chest, back in her defensive mode.
I nod but I'm scheming up a few ideas of how I can thank the blonde cheerleader for being my knight in invisible armor.
"I appreciate it" I tell Santana in a rare moment of honesty.
"Yeah well, it was the least I could do for you since you're letting Q stay at your place" she says
"What?"
"What?" Santana asks confused, "Son of a bitch" she mutters upon seeing the shock on my face. "Keep B company" she tells me before jogging out of the room. I attempt to protest but it is no use at this point.
I take a seat next to Brittany on the bleachers as she blissfully chews on the fruit, "Santana does like you ya know" she tells me, "She acts tough but she's a big softy, especially around me and Q"
"You guys are all really close huh?" I ask, continuing the conversation, hoping to get some answers at the least.
"Yup, best friends" she nods.
"Can you tell me what happened?" I ask, I know Brittany isn't as dumb as she lets on, she knows exactly what I'm getting at.
Brittany pauses, most likely gathering up all of her thoughts, "Remember Monday, after she almost beat up Karofsky?"
I nod, knowing she's talking about Quinn.
"Q came to us, she was like really upset, I couldn't understand a word she said, but S just held her until she stopped crying and then she told us to do whatever we had to so that Karofsky stayed away from you" Brittany tells me
"That was very… chivalrous, of her" I can't find the right word I'm looking for, "Why did Santana think that she was staying with me at my house?" I ask.
"Umm" Brittany fills, "Oh! Tuesday morning we were here early and we found Q showering in the locker room, which is what she did when she got kicked out the first time, she claimed it wasn't the case, and that she was staying at your house until her dad moved out again"
Quinn's words echo in my mind, I'll leave my home again before I live with my father. The next thought that crosses my mind makes me sick to my stomach, if Quinn claimed to be staying at my house and she in fact wasn't, where was she staying?
"I have to go" I say quickly
"But S said" Brittany starts
I'm in no mood to feel Santana's wrath once she finds out that I left Brittany alone in the gym and directly disobeyed her orders, I reach my hand out, "Come with me" I tell her
The blonde agrees and the two of us make our way through the empty halls, looking for clues as to where either of the other girls had disappeared to.
Brittany directs us towards the Choir room where she heard some shouting, both of us stand just beyond the door, listening intently to the two cheerleaders in a heated argument.
"What the hell Q, you've been sleeping in your car?" Santana asks, clearly pissed.
My stomach lurches when I hear that's where she's been texting me from the past couple of nights.
"It's none of your business, and would you keep your voice down" Quinn replies in a low growl.
"Why would you lie to me? I'm your best friend" I can tell that the Latina is more hurt than angry, that much is evident.
"It's complicated" Quinn replies.
Both girls are silent for a long minute.
"Karofsky told her"
Well so much for that, way to put up a fight Santana.
"What? Why?" Quinn asks in obvious panic.
"Well when the girl goes from the biggest target in school to virtually untouchable under your orders, people are going to notice, including the ever so oblivious Berry"
"Watch it" Quinn snarls.
"It would make this a whole lot easier if you would just admit it"
"I mean it S, watch what you say to me"
"Fine, Whatever. But you're the one that's going to have to answer to Berry since she knows you're using her as a cover"
"Why couldn't you just keep your damn mouth shut" Quinn yells, slamming her fist on the piano.
Brittany winces at the sound of her two girls fighting, I grab her hand to comfort her, it can't be easy to hear this conversation. It isn't easy for me either, I have millions of questions swirling around in my head.
"Don't put this on me Quinn" Santana warns, "Where are you going?" the Latina asks a little louder.
My eyes go wide when I realize what Santana just asked, Quinn was about to walk out of the choir room door and catch both of us eavesdropping.
It's too late, Quinn is already in the hallway, dead in her tracks as she notices me standing near the door, looking much like a deer caught in headlights.
"Rach, I"
"Berry" Santana snaps my attention away, "Jesus, Don't you ever listen? I thought I told you to stay in the damn Gym"
"Don't talk to her like that" Quinn fires from next to her, her eyes threatening her for more worse than her words could.
I gulp, I'm completely out of my element right now.
"How much of that did you hear?" Santana asks more softly this time, taking hold of Brittany's hand, after she notices how scared she is.
Quinn's eyes go wide, it never crossed her mind that I heard any of that, let alone all of it.
"Um" I look at the two inquiring minds, Brittany averts her gaze to the floor, a dead giveaway that we are both guilty.
Quinn's hand goes up to cover her mouth, "Oh god" she chokes out before she runs down the hallway and away from all three of us.
"C'mon B" Santana pulls the blonde away with her, leaving me by myself, feeling more confused than ever.