After what seemed like hours, Mai stopped pacing and sighed. She told herself she didn't know which was worse - the fact that Zuko and the others had been gone so long, or the fact that she and Ty Lee now had to wear clothes in shades of Earth Kingdom green instead of Fire Nation red - but as nauseatingly colorful as her new dress was, Zuko's extended absence upset her much more. "This is ridiculous. They should be back by now."
"Don't worry," Ty Lee heartened from across their room, dangling her feet lazily above her head as she rested on her elbows. "Zuko said he'd be back as soon as he and the Dai Li talked to King Bumi. We just need to be patient."
"Like that crazy king could help anybody," the pale girl muttered, folding her arms. "He just let my father take over his city without putting up a fight. Then he didn't even try to escape. Its not like he's some great military advisor."
She looked out the window for what must have been the thousandth time and did a double-take. Eagerly, Mai gazed out and down at the road leading into the royal palace, but her face quickly fell. The Dai Li had returned, but two men were missing from the original party. One of the riders wore the Blue Spirit disguise of Lord Naga, but Mai knew by his build that it was most certainly not Zuko. The impostor was taller, with broader shoulders and a more muscular build. Lieutenant Jee was missing altogether.
"What is it?" the cheerful acrobat asked, flipping upright when she saw that something had upset her friend.
"The Dai Li are back, but Zuko's not there. Neither is Lieutenant Jee." She looked sharply back at Ty Lee. "Something's wrong."
"Hey, wait for me!" Ty Lee called, chasing after as Mai went running by.
Furiously, Mai went storming into the grand atrium. There, two lines of wary-eyed servants and government officials were streaming in, shuffling single file through the palace's main entrance. Most of them looked as though they were ready to bolt at any second. Even the palace guards flanking them on either side seemed nervous. The state of panic caused by Azula's coup would take some time to subside. Of course, none of that mattered to Mai at that moment. She was a woman on a mission.
The Fire Nation noble watched intently as the returning agents made their way inside. Once they had passed through the atrium and into the main hall, she stomped forward and singled out the man in the mask. "Where is he?" she demanded, her voice quiet but threatening. "Where's the real Lord Naga?"
"He didn't write to you?" the voice behind the mask murmured. "Surprising. I didn't expect him to leave you to worry like that."
Insulted by his flippant frankness, Mai thrust her chin up to glare at him. "Answer the question," she said more loudly. "Now."
Several faces from the lines of incoming palace employees turned to look at them. "Not so loud, Mai," Ty Lee whispered, "people are starting to stare."
"Indeed," the Lord Naga impostor affirmed. "Won't you accompany me to my office, ladies? I'll be happy to help however I can."
Before Mai could protest, the man took her arm with a firmness that brooked no opposition. He led her and Ty Lee through several long, empty halls, then steered them into the last door on the left and locked it behind them. Once they were behind closed doors, he turned and removed the mask. The square-jawed, ageless face of Tai Lan stared back at the two young women.
"Tai Lan," Mai fumed, clenching her thin fingers into fists.
"That was a reckless move, Lady Mai," the Dai Li leader admonished. "After weeks of fear and confusion, the administrative officials and servants are finally resuming their posts. Their return to the palace will promote a sense of peace and normalcy within the city. Do you want to arouse their suspicion?"
"Maybe they should be suspicious," she accused.
"As you are, I see." Tai Lan exhaled roughly. "As I said, I was unaware that Prince Zuko wasn't keeping you informed of his whereabouts, but he is quite well. You have my word on that."
"Then why isn't he here? And where is Lieutenant Jee? You owe us an explanation."
"I owe you nothing," Tai Lan corrected calmly. "You're demanding answers from me, but it's not because you think I've done anything to Prince Zuko. It's because you're afraid he's abandoned you."
Baring her teeth, Mai lunged at Tai Lan. Ty Lee held her back by the shoulders and tried unsuccessfully to calm her. "Mai, it's all right! We can trust him!"
"Like hell we can!" Mai shook Ty Lee's hands loose. "Zuko left with the Dai Li over two weeks ago. Now everyone's back except him and Lieutenant Jee, the only ones from the Fire Nation." She turned back to Tai Lan. "So what's next? Now that Zuko's done his part and you don't need us anymore, are you going to kill me and Ty Lee too?"
Astonishingly, Tai Lan smiled. "It's a shame you're not an earthbender, Lady Mai. Your natural tendency to mistrust would make you an excellent candidate for the Dai Li. All the same, your theory is incorrect. Prince Zuko and Lieutenant Jee have gone on a separate mission for King Bumi. I'm sorry he neglected to keep you informed. But if you're going to doubt someone, at least have the courtesy to doubt the correct individual."
"I will never doubt Zuko," Mai insisted, "but that doesn't mean I trust you. Come on, Ty Lee." She left in a huff, dragging the confused girl by the wrist. Ty Lee murmured a quick apology to Tai Lan before Mai yanked her through the door.
"Such a spirited young woman." A rapacious look flashed across Tai Lan's eyes. "Hurry home, Lord Naga, or she'll soon be spending her nights in some other man's arms. Preferably mine."
ooo LL ooo
"So tell me all about your life now," Ursa smiled as Zuko sat beside her at the fountain's edge. "I've missed so much of it. I want to hear everything."
"Everything," Zuko repeated glumly, staring at the ground. "Uh…"
Her face fell. "Zuko, what's wrong?"
"Me. I'm what's wrong," the banished prince murmured. "I've done terrible things, Mom. Things I hate myself for. Innocent people have been hurt because of me. I used to think I was doing the right thing, as long as I did what Father wanted. But I was wrong. He's a horrible person. I almost turned out just like him."
"I should never have left you alone with him," Ursa confessed, reaching out tenderly to caress his scar. "Forgive me, my love. If I'd had any choice…"
His head jerked up. "What happened, Mom? You just disappeared. No one knew what happened to you, or if you were even alive."
She stared back at him with a poignant expression. Her gaze was heavy with regret. "I know. You deserve an explanation. But I don't want to burden you by telling you about the past when it could only cause you pain."
"I'm not a child, Mom. I need to know the truth," he insisted.
Ursa shook her head. "Someday you will, and you'll understand why I was so hesitant to tell you. I would do anything to protect you, Zuko. That's why, for now, those things are better left unsaid."
"But what are you protecting me from?" Zuko asked uncertainly.
"Someday," she repeated, kissing his brow. And she would say no more on the subject. As happy as he was to be with her again, Zuko let it go, but he couldn't help but wonder what secret was so dark and terrible that his mother couldn't speak of it, even now.
ooo LL ooo
Katara donned her best smile as her friends gathered around her bedside. Yugoda had given her a clean bill of health, but the others fussed over her just the same.
"We sure were worried, Sugar Queen!" Toph admitted.
"You can say that again," Sokka spoke up, squeezing his sister in an almost choking hug. "Don't scare us like that again, all right?"
Katara flushed. "Easy, big brother! I'm fine now, really."
"What happened?" Aang said, pushing through the rest to look Katara in the eye. "Azula didn't hurt you, so we need to find out what made you faint like that. What's the last thing you remember?"
"Azula and I were fighting. Iroh saved me," she recounted, carefully avoiding any mention of Zuko. "He asked me if I was all right. That's when I blacked out."
"It doesn't matter now," Iroh spoke up. "All that matters is that you are on your way to a full recovery." He smiled at her warmly, and Katara was grateful. Iroh was seeing to it that none of them asked her any more questions. It seemed he had known the real reason all along.
Aang hung his head, evading the glares from all around him. "I'm glad you're okay, Katara," he muttered. "I'll go now." And with that, he pressed his way back out of the crowd.
"What's going on?" Katara asked, seeing that no one else minded the Avatar's departure. "Why does everyone look so mad at Aang?"
"Katara, you really shouldn't upset yourself right now -" Iroh began.
"Honestly, I'm fine," Katara repeated, firmly but gently. "Now tell me what's going on with Aang."
"Ever since the battle, he's been angry and defensive. He said some really insensitive things," Suki spoke up in her soft voice.
"When he found out you were here, he blamed Toph for your collapse on the battlefield," Master Pakku elaborated, folding his arms.
"What? How could it be Toph's fault?" Katara wondered, confused.
"Because for me to be able to fight, Aang had to take me out to the ships," Toph related bitterly. "It was his idea. He said he'd go with me and watch my back. Of course, he conveniently forgot about that later. I guess it was easier for him to blame me than himself, because he couldn't be there to protect you."
"Aang wasn't supposed to be protecting me. He was supposed to fight where he could do the most good. We all were," the waterbender pointed out. "Besides, I wasn't exactly alone and helpless. The Kyoshi warriors were there with me. So was Iroh."
"Yeah. I tried to tell him that, but he wasn't in a listening mood," Toph sulked.
"I'm sorry, Toph," Katara apologized, "you know how Aang can be sometimes. I'll talk to him, and -"
"And what?" Sokka interrupted roughly. "Hold his hand? Tell him everything's all right? You've babied him too much, Katara. Ever since we left home, you've been more worried about Aang's feelings than anyone else's, including your own. Now he thinks it's okay to say whatever he wants, no matter who it hurts. He doesn't think about anyone else's feelings."
"Aang's just a little boy," the waterbender defended softly. "He's been through a lot."
"Oh, and the rest of us haven't?" the blind earthbender scoffed.
Sokka nodded in agreement. "Toph's right. You can't keep making excuses for him, Katara. Sooner or later, he has to grow up."
Katara pursed her lips. "I guess you have a point. But we can't just shut Aang out, either. He's part of our family."
"The Avatar is closer to you than anyone," Iroh told Katara. "Perhaps if you ask him, he will open up to you about what's on his mind."
"I think I may already know," Katara admitted under her breath. I just hope I'm wrong…
ooo LL ooo
A little while after the others had gone, Aang came back. The Avatar approached her with his shoulders drooped and his arrow downcast, as though he would waterbend the ice below so he could melt into the floor. "Hey. Suki said you wanted to talk to me?"
Katara nodded. "Aang, is it true that you blamed Toph for what happened to me?"
The bald monk's chin tucked into his chest. "Yeah. It's true."
"Why? I don't understand."
"No, you don't understand. That's the problem." Aang looked up with an unexpectedly tired expression. "I've tried dozens of times to tell you, but something always happened and I never got to say it. Katara, I - I love you."
She couldn't speak for a moment. The boy's confession hadn't come as a complete shock, but she still wasn't prepared to deal with his unrequited feelings. "Aang, I…"
"You don't have to say anything. I know you don't feel that way about me," he sullenly muttered, "but I want you to understand. Toph was there for me when I woke up. She took care of me, and… I didn't feel so alone when she was around. I thought if I focused on her, I could let go of my feelings for you. But I couldn't. And I wasn't even there when you needed me."
Katara shook her head. "You're the Avatar. You had more important things to worry about than protecting me. The Water Tribe needed your help. If you and Toph hadn't disabled some of those ships before they reached us, we would have lost the battle."
"But I wasn't fighting just to win the battle. I was fighting to protect you." His hands shook as he clasped them together. "Katara, please, I need to know. Have you ever - would you ever - think of me as more than a friend?"
A part of her knew this had been coming for some time. It would be cruel to both of them to put it off any longer. "Aang, you know how much I care about you. I think of you the same way I think of Sokka. You're part of our family. But it's never been anything more than that. I admit, there was a moment I considered it. Aunt Wu told me I'd marry a powerful bender, so I wondered if that meant you. But when I searched my feelings, I realized that I just want to be your friend. Nothing more." Katara paused, letting that sink in. "I'm sorry if I hurt you. You know that's the last thing I want to do."
"I do know that." Aang bit his lip, resigned. "Thank you for telling me the truth, Katara. At least now I know how you really feel."
Well, not quite, she wanted to say, but she made herself hold it back. "Aang, there's one other thing we need to talk about. You really hurt everyone when you blamed Toph, and you need to apologize. We're still at war with the Fire Nation. The gang can't afford to be divided. Promise me you'll talk to them and make it right."
Aang gave another reluctant nod. "Okay. If I have to."
"Thank you." Katara hugged him. She kissed his cheek as she had before, but for Aang, it was an empty gesture that gave no comfort. He excused himself, leaving more dejected than he'd been when he came.