Hey folks!

This time I did this differently. First I wrote in Finnish, then the same text in English.

I really tried to get better on this but I think that it takes more than just a one chapther to actually get better.

I wanted put this on at Sunday, wich was my 14th birthday.

But things turned out to be this way. I hope you like it and keep going on with sending me the comments. They're really helping. Thank you!

Chapther 3 "Clearing heads and stuff"

"How is she doing, by the way?", Lane asks from Rory whos' sitting beside her.

Rory takes a deep breath and then looks at Lane.
"Nothing new", she sighs and drops her eyes to the corner of the red carpet wich is lying on the floor of Lane's new house. "I thought things would chance when I saw her at the Yale thing.. She hugged me, and told that she misses Luke. At home, she started acting just like before.

If it's possible, I think it even got worse."

Lane looks at Rory without saying a word. She has been really careful with her words near to Rory. She wouldn't want to say anything wrong to her. Finally Lane encourages herself.

"Rory, you should talk to her. To be honest, you don't seem any better than your mom."

Rory is a bit confused about this straight talk Lane's giving to her. It also feels good. Right.

"How could I look happy when the person I most love is suffering like that?", she asks and openes her eyes she just has closed. Lane is staring at her with weird look in her eyes.

"You can't be there for her, if you're standing in the same line with her."
"What do you mean?"

"I know you're sad for your mom, but you loved Luke a lot. You have to face the feelings again, if it's not for yourself, then at least for your mom. I'm not asking you get over it, I'm asking you to think these things and then talk with your mom. It was really brave of you to share it on that stage in Yale but I think that one time isn't enough. I know it hurts you but eventually the pain stops if you face what happened."

Rory stares at Lane with no words coming out of her mouth.

Then she openes her mouth and says: "Okay. I'll talk with her after the Friday-night dinner today."

Lane just nods with a little, little smile on her face.

"Maybe I should go for a walk. You know, clear my head a bit", Rory gets up and picks up her jacket. She turns her back to Lane and walks to the door.

When Rory's opening the door Lane suddenly calls out for her name.

Rory turns over and looks at Lane. "What?"

"Are we okay?"

Rory takes a moment. "Yeah, of course we are."
She runs back and hugs Lane.

"Are you sure you wanna come? I can go by myself too", Rory says though she knows it's kind of too late: they're standing in front of her grandparents door.

"I think I'm gonna be okay. Anyways, it's too late."

Rory turns her head and looks at the window where Lorelai's staring at:

Emily is walking to the door.

"Oh, it's so nice to have my girls here together. Come on in!"

"I hope you don't mind that the Jaggers from England are joining us tonight. They're heading back to home tomorrow so this was last night", Emily chats and helps them with their coats.

"Of course it's okay", Rory takes a quick look at her mom's eyes.

They are stony.

Emily leads girls to the living room where the old couple is already.
They both have grey hairs and boring, brown clothes on.
They have gotten up politely. "I am so sorry for what happened to your husband.."

After shaking Lorelai's and Rory's hands Mrs. Jagger sits again.

Lorelai doesn't say a thing. She stares in front of her.

"Yeah, well, life goes on", Emily says and gives a look at Richard's eyes.

Rory sits next to her mom, looking a bit concerned.

Unlike Lorelai, she's putting a tiny fake smile on her face.

"Yes well.. How are you girls doing now?", Mr. Jagger sips the little drink in his hand.

Lorelai doesn't move at all. Not her body, her face or even her eyes.

"We're doing okay, thank you", Rory answeres quickly when she sees that Lorelai isn't going to do that. "Well, that's good. I mean, this must be hard with the pregnancy and all. I assume you're still going to keep the baby, right?", looks directly at Lorelai now.

"None of your business", Lorelai has suddenly gotten up from the couch.

Emily is shocked. "Lorelai!"

Lorelai rushes to the kitchen with a drama walk. "Pardon me", she whisperes from the door.

"Mom!", Rory tries to stand up but Emily is gently pushing her back to the couch.

"I go talk to her", Emily says and leaves the room.

"What was that all about?", Emily is standing by the door.

Lorelai is looking out from the window, so Emily doesn't see her face.

"I didn't come here to hear your friends telling how sorry they are."

"They're just being polite. Wich apparently is too hard for you."

"I can come here and act like I'm doing okay, but I'm not gonna talk about what happened.

Never. And you should better get used to it."

"So answering on a few simple questions is so freaking hard for you?"

"Yes!"

"But why Lorelai? Why it's so hard to share the infromation with your parents? I think we are allowed to know how you're doing after all this."

"How hard it's for you to understand that I can't just move on?"

They're yelling at each other and everyone in living room are sure hearing every singe word.

"Of course you can't. I think I haven't asked you to move on, am I?"

"I can see it coming for sure."

"What is that I did so wrong again?"

Lorelai is turning over to Emily now. Her cheeks are all red and wet for crying.

"Nothing mother. I am sorry", She whisperes and walks back to the living room.

It's late evening when Rory and Lorelai are driving back to home.

Rory takes a quick look at her mom.

"Are you okay?", she asks and turns her eyes away from Lorelai.

Lorelai stares the road in front of her. "Yeah."

"Mom.. you don't seem okay."

"Not you too?"

"Not me too?"

"I don't need to be take care of."

"But you're not okay either."

"So you except me to be okay week after my husband died?"

Lorelai's getting mad. She's almost yelling, again.

"No, I don't. I except you to cry and be off work first weeks. But you don't cry, you are spending most of your time at work. You don't speak to me almost at all. You're not you anymore." Rory's trying to keep her voice calm.

"Rory, I told you. I can't face it yet."

"But mom.."

"Rory please! I don't want to hear it. I don't need you to take care of me. Just go back to New York and go back to work. I don't wanna live like this, under all this pressure."

Now she's yelling. In a small car, her voice is loud. Rory's turning her face away from Lorelai.
"You're kicking me out?"

"No I'm not. I'm just saying, you have to go back to work soon They're not gonna wait around for you long. You're new there", Lorelai calms her voice a bit.

Rory knows Lorelai is right, and because she loves her job she knows she has to go back soon. Even if she wanted to say with her mom.

"You're not yourself", Rory repeats herself and closes her eyes.