Eriana was smiling as she and Ramoth walked behind Leliana and Alistair. The trip to Redcliff had been much more enjoyable now that Alistair acting more like himself and less depressed. Leliana had been telling them about growing up and training as a minstrel in Orlais, so Alistair found it necessary to talk about his templar training. He had just finished saying something about pillow fights when he noticed both of the women looking at him, on the verge of hysterical laughter.
"Did I say pillow fights? I meant sword fights; yeah, with sharp, rusty swords. We didn't really, um, never mind. I'm just going to walk alone for a little while."
"No, no, no, I want to hear more about these pillow fights. It's a side of the Chantry I never got to see as a sister," Leliana said, following after him.
Eriana, still laughing looked down at Ramoth. "He seems in better spirits." The dog cocked his head and gave a sharp bark, glancing over at Alistair. "Yes, I hope it lasts, too. You know, there are times when I feel like I can understand you completely, boy." Ramoth gave a happy bark an wagged his little nub of a tail as scratched him behind the ears.
It was getting close to mid day when the party finally came within sight of the small town of Redcliff.
"Thank the Maker," Eriana said when they finally saw the rooftops of the town. "I want nothing more than an actual bed and a warm bath. Alistair, you better be as close to this Eamon as you say. This sleeping on the ground is starting to get old."
"Yeah, now that you mention him, we need to talk; I need to tell you something that I probably should have told you earlier," said Alistair, taking Eriana's arm and gently leading her away from the group.
"Why do I get the feeling that I'm not going to like this?"
"Well, I've never really liked it, that's for sure," he sighed. "Okay, here it goes. You know that Arl Eamon raised me because my mother was one of his serving girls who died, right?" Eriana nodded; she always assumed that this was because Eamon was his father. "Well, the reason he took me is was because my father was King Maric which made Cailan my half brother."
"Wait, your father…why didn't you tell me this earlier? I mean, I asked you point-blank if you knew who your father was, and you told me no. You lied to me, Alistair!"
"I know, I know, and I would have told you, but it never really meant anything to me. I was just inconvenient, a threat to the throne, a royal secret. I guess I was just used to everyone who needed to know already knowing, but I swear I didn't mean to deceive you; I just didn't want you to treat me any differently. Everyone who knew either resented me or coddled me because of it, and I was happy with the way things were. I didn't want you to know as long as possible. I'm sorry I lied to you."
Eriana stood there, looking at him for a moment. "Does Loghain know about this?"
"I don't see how he couldn't; he was Maric's best friend," Alistair replied, looking concerned.
"Well, this could complicate things," she said with a sigh. "Well, thanks for telling me."
"I would have told you sooner, but I didn't want you to look at me any differently. I wanted you to like me for me not because of who my father happened to be."
Eriana grinned up at him, "Well, my Prince, then let me make things perfectly clear. I already like you for who you are, and what you are makes no difference to me. I like the man who slams into hurlocks that are trying to kill me, the man who saved me from Daveth, and the man who respected my wishes and stayed quiet about it."
"You like me?" asked Alistair, blushing slightly.
"Isn't that obvious yet?" she said, placing a hand on his breast plate. "This doesn't change anything for me, okay, so don't worry, I don't have any plans to coddle you."
"Oh, well that's a shame; I could definitely go for some coddling right about now," he said with a grin.
Eriana was about to say something else when a soldier came running up to them. "Thank the Maker, are you here to help us?"
Eriana desperately wanted to talk to Alistair after their meeting with Bann Teagan, but there was simply too much to do. Leliana and Morrigan went to see Ser Perth about the guards' needs while Eriana took Alistair and Sten to deal with blacksmith and to recruit a dwarf to fight with the army. Eriana kept a close watch on Alistair while they moved through Redcliff; she was afraid that finding his childhood home in such a desperate state might send him back into his depression. She was right. The more they moved around, the more glum Alistair seemed to become. By the time the group met back up, it was obvious that Alistair was in bad shape.
"Everyone try to get some rest for the next few hours. We'll meet back an hour before nightfall. Leliana, I want you and Ramoth to work with the templars defending the Chantry. Everyone else will be on the hill with me, meeting the main horde, so be ready. I'll see you all in a few hours." As everyone started to disperse, Eriana caught Alistair by the arm, "come on, Alistair; we need to talk."
They walked in silence to the edge of the lake and sat on an old piece of drift wood lying on the bank of the river. "Alistair, are you okay?"
He sighed, "I don't know; I just feel so bad about everything here. You heard what Teagan said; Eamon might be dead and so many have already died. I haven't spoken to Eamon in years, and if something has happened to him…I just never told him how important he was to me. I just hope I get a chance to tell him. I should have been better to Eamon; it just feels like Duncan all over again."
"What do you mean?"
"I just feel so guilty about leaving Duncan; I should have been there with him. Who knows what may have happened if I had been there too."
"I do," said Eriana gently. "You would be lying right there on the battlefield with him, and I would be here, alone." Eriana got up and knelt infront of Alistair, taking his hands and looking deeply into his eyes. "Alistair, there is still time with Eamon, but you cannot keep beating yourself up over Duncan. You couldn't have saved him, and you were doing exactly what he wanted you to do. You were with me, and I thank the Maker you were because there is no other Warden I would want with me. I need you with me now; I can't do this alone."
"Eriana, what were we thinking? What are we even doing here?"
"We are doing our duty as Grey Wardens. We are honoring Duncan's legacy and standing for what is right. We are ending a Blight before it can destroy our country. I know that this is hard and that you may feel like giving up, but we can't do that. We have a greater responsibility beyond what our own wants and desires, and we can do this, Alistair, we can. But I can't do it without you," she reached up, touching the side of his face. "Please, don't give up on this; don't give up on me."
Alistair closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. "I won't; I promise," he said, brushing her blond hair behind her ear.
"Good, that's what I wanted to hear," and with that, she leaned forward, lightly brushing her lips against his. She felt him hesitate, and she started to pull away when she felt his arms wrap around her and pull her close. Her eyes closed as his lips began to move beneath hers, one hand moving down to the small of her back as the other found its way into her hair. Her lips parted as she felt his tongue slowly, hesitantly move over hers. It was unlike any kiss she had ever experienced, so gentle and sweet that time seemed to slow for her. Unwillingly, Eriana pulled back and looked up into his golden eyes. "Too soon?"
"Hum, I'm not sure; I might need to test that," he said, smiling down at her.
"Any time, my Prince."
The battle that night was unlike anything Eriana had ever experienced. She thought darkspawn were disturbing, but this undead army was beyond unnerving. As she and Morrigan stood behind the group of soldiers, waiting for the first attack wave, the mage looked over at her and seemed to sense her nerves. "You do realize that if the flaming oil doesn't kill these things, we may very well have flaming undead to deal with, right?"
Eriana started chuckling nervously, "Well, if that does happen, you freeze them to put out the fire, and I'll take care of the rest."
It turns out, however, that Morrigan's concerns were unfounded. Several undead did break through the flaming barrier, but most never made it past the guards being lead by Sten and Alistair. In fact, Alistair was fighting like Eriana had never seen, felling some enemies with a single blow of his sword, taking on multiple undead at a time, and spurring on the guards whenever they seemed to falter. He was fighting like a man possessed, a man with a holy purpose. Eriana and Morrigan safely attacked enemies from a distance while Alistair cut down any corpse who tried to get past him. Eriana didn't even draw her daggers until they moved into the town to defeat the undead that came up from the lake. All in all, the villagers came out of it with very few losses, and everyone from her party came out of the fight unharmed. When the onslaught was over, Eriana found herself being hoisted off the ground in Alistair's arms as he spun her around.
"We did it," she whispered up at him, smiling.
"I know. I could just kiss you, but you are covered in blood and it's kinda gross," Alistair said as he put her back on her feet. "Are you okay?"
"Not a scratch, thanks to you. Come on, we need to get some rest. I have a feeling we will be heading into the castle tomorrow, so we need all the rest we can get."
The next morning, the town of Redcliff held a small ceremony, celebrating their victory, mourning their losses, and honoring their heroes. Eriana stayed quiet through most of it, uncomfortable with all the attention. As she was leaning on a fence, watching Alistair and Tegan talking, Leliana came up beside her.
"You know, next time I am tasked with improving the morale of an army, I'm going to forego the blessed amulets and just have you kiss them all," she said, smirking.
Eriana glanced up at her, blushing slightly, "You saw that, then."
"Yes, and I also saw the way it made him fight. He is like a whole new man today," she put her arm around the elf. "I am happy for you."
"Thanks, I just hope I didn't make a big mistake," Eriana said with a sigh.
"A mistake? You care for him, no?" Eriana nodded. "Then how could it possibly be a mistake?"
Eriana was silent for a moment, looking over at Alistair and Tegan. She crossed her arms and turned to look at Leliana. "He's just so…human." She seemed to hesitate for a second before she took a deep breath and continued. "I like him, but it's just so confusing."
"I don't understand; you've never seemed to have a problem with humans. Why now, all of a sudden?"
"I don't have a problem with humans, really; it's just…" she sighed, "When I was fourteen, my mother died unexpectedly. She was ambushed by some bandits between the ailenage and the market. Needless to say, her death hit us pretty hard, especially my father. In a way, he all but shut down. I had to force him to eat; he wouldn't leave the house; he was an absolute wreck. So, it fell on me to provide for us. My mother had been friends with the barkeep at a local tavern, so I went to him for help. He got me a job working in the Gnawed Noble Tavern, serving drinks, cleaning tables, you know, doing stuff like that. The pay wasn't great, but it kept us from starving.
"Not long after I started working there, a few of the patrons started to take notice of me. You see, I kind of developed young, most elves do, and some of the noble men kind of took a liking to me. The first time it happened was only a month or so after I started working. A noble man came up to me as I was leaving to go home and slipped a coin pouch into my pocket. He whispered to me, 'If you try to run or scream, I will drag you to the guards and tell them that you stole that money from me, then you will spend the night if Fort Drakon. Or you can go with me, and I may let you keep what's in that pocket.' Well, I wasn't sure what was going on, so I went with him, and, well, you can imagine what happened."
"Oh, you poor Dear! Was that the only time?"
Eriana shook her head, "Hardly. It probably happened at least once a month after that. Sometimes the same men, sometimes different ones, but they all had the same routine. Things continued on that way until one day, one of the younger nobles got a bit rough, and I came home battered and bruised. My father realized what happened then, and made me quit. I was seventeen"
Leliana put her arms around Eriana, "Oh, I had no idea. Was that the last time?"
"No, the last time was just before the battle at Ostagar. Alistair found me just in time to stop one of the other recruits from raping me."
"Well, I can see why you're conflicted about Alistair; the fact that he's human must frighten you."
Erian shrugged, "It's not really fear; I mean, I'm not afraid of humans. It's just…have you ever had a food that you love, but you get sick after eating it one time?" Leliana nodded. "Well you know that sick feeling you get in the pit of your stomach whenever you smell that food? That's how I feel with human men. Sick, not scared. The sad thing is, I know Alistair isn't like that." She sighed and leaned against Leliana's arm. "I know in my head that he is a good man; and in my heart, I care a great deal for him. I just can't reconcile that with my body. Whenever he touches me and I'm not expecting it, a wave of nausea hits me; it's like my body is screaming danger, danger, while my heart is screaming yes, yes. It's just so confusing."
"If you are so confused, then why did you kiss him yesterday?"
"I wanted to, and part of me thinks he really needed it. You saw how it motivated him; I guess it gave him something to fight for."
"So, you're using him?" Leliana seemed confused.
"No, maybe, I don't know. Leliana, I do care for him, and I want things to work, but it's going to take some time. I'm just afraid I'm moving too fast for myself."
"Well, all I know is, he's crazy about you. It's obvious to everyone. You should talk to him before either of you ends up getting hurt."
"I know, I know," Eriana said, glancing up at the red-head. "Just, don't say anything, okay? It's not exactly something I like to talk about. And I'll talk to Alistair, soon."
Leliana pulled the elf into a hug. "Good, I know he will understand," she said smiling. And Eriana had every intention of talking to Alistair, but then they walked into Redcliff Castle, and their whole world changed.
Whew! This was a long one, I know. Zevran lovers rejoice, he's coming up!