Hello! Oh, by the way, this gets just a bit…um…raunchy…maybe. I dunno. Haven't finished it yet. xD I'm just planning ahead. Either gory or raunchy. Get ready for either one or both. :D

Ugh, I'm in pain. I got so sunburned yesterday. And now I can barely move without being in searing pain.

Oh, the agony-!

Nah, I'm good. Still hurting, but it'll be gone soon. Oh, did I mention? This is my first sunburn. Shows how little I've experienced in my short life, huh?

Anyway. Onto your torture, okay? Oh, and try not to hurt me. :D

Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush! Trust me! If I did, there wouldn't be a need to write this! We'd all be getting our daily dose of gay just by watching it! (Not that I don't with Big Time Crib, but you catch my drift.)

Warnings: Yaoi, slash, guy on guy, that genre! Foul language and later on some serious, explicit smexing. No likey, no read-y!

I hated John. With every fiber of my body and mind. It was the most hatred I had towards someone besides my father.

But, what sucks is, if John hadn't started fucking Logan, I'm pretty sure he and I would have been good friends. We listened to the same kind of music, watched the same kind of TV shows and movies, and made the same kind of jokes.

Let me tell you, that sucked ASS.

Finally, I had hit my breaking point. I had lost a lot of weight, so much so that it was too fucking visual, due to the diet pills Gustavo had prescribed me (since when was he a diagnostic doctor?) and the increased amount of cutting and decreased amount of blood (my body could only make that shit so fast), so I had lost so much that people were getting concerned. Logan had even confronted me about it. "You're a big guy and you play a lot of sports," he had said, "you should be eating a lot!" I had wanted to hug the little shit. But, then again, when didn't I want to hug him? And, in addition to the weight thing, John was hanging around Logan a lot now. He'd pop by after work, say hi to Logan (they'd disappear for up to a half hour), then leave. Sometimes, though, he'd bring Logan home with him. And did Logan do? Nothing. He'd grin, blush, giggle, and follow him into his shady van (maybe it was just shady because I hated the fucker), but he would never object to any of the bullshit going on. God forbid he got dumped by the King of Douches. And, to top off all the shit going on, I had gone a bit far with James outside the pool one day when John was visiting. What, you may ask, did I do this time? I was making out with James (yeah! Fucking making out!) under a tree (to make sure Camille and Jo didn't see me – they'd kill me) when, suddenly, it got darker than usual. I broke away and opened my eys, panicking mentally, cool on the outside, too see John and Logan standing there. John was barely holding in his laughter while Logan looked…disgusted. It broke my heart. The only good point in that moment was that, in the two months after his almost-rape, he had healed enough to have a rainbow of feelings.

Fan-fucking-tastic.

"Yo, sorry guys. Didn't think we'd see that." John had choked out.

Logan had sent a small glare towards his boyfriend. "John. Shut up. They're my friends." He had growled, then shoved the older guy away. John let himself get pushed to his van, giggling the whole way. Logan had glanced back and waved awkwardly.

I had glanced at James, who looked pissed off and uncomfortable. "Mission accomplished?"

Finally, after two months, to fucked up and shit-filled months, I watched James walk into our bedroom while I was reading an interesting new book on my Nook, then made my move.

"I'm breaking up with you."

It was blunt, short, sweet, and to the point.

"Cool." He said, sitting on his bed calmly. "What's our story?"

"We've been growing apart for a while now, so we tried being vulgar in public to make up for it. But it wasn't working out. We're better as just friends." I recited it from memory.

"Which one of us is moving out?"

"I will."

"Nice."

And with that, we pounded fists and fell asleep. Well, he fell asleep while I tried. I ended up having to take another sleeping pill.

Fuck you, God.

**FF**

"Breaking up? Like, for real?" Katie's eyes were huge, her jaw hanging open.

I nodded. "Please don't tell Mom. She'd kill me." I pleased. My sister cracked up.

"You are so screwed." She laughed.

Suddenly, there was a hand on each of my shoulders. I looked up to see the sickeningly sweet, sympathetic smiles (hiding the evil twisting their female minds, of course) of Camille and Jo.

"Katie, you might wanna leave us alone." Camille smirked. "This'll get ugly."

I gulped as Katie scampered away. I looked at the girls as they sat down in front of me.

"So, we just talked to James." Jo started in a sickeningly innocent voice.

"And we were wondering…" Camille trailed off as she shared a glance. They turned to me with evil glares.

"Does this have to do with Logan?"

I jumped up off my chair, flailing my arms in the air. "SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP SHUT UP!" I hissed. The girls' faces remained passive. And no. Well, kinda, I just need to relieve some of my stress." I admitted, looking at my feet in shame.

Camille and Jo fell silent. After a few seconds of having no expression, they had started giggling their asses off. But I guess they saw something that shocked them.

Silence.

"Well, I'm guessing you're really stressed then, looking at you." Jo said, trying to lighten the mood.

"Yeah…" I sighed.

"Yo! Kendall!" A hand waved in front of my face. I looked over to see Logan. I smiled weakly, and he grinned in response. "C'mon! We got practice!" And with that, he grabbed my wrist and pulled me along.

I smiled bigger. I loved just being in simple contact with him. His soft skin, gentle touch…

I was a fanboy.

But, I pulled away after a second. "Hold on," I smirked, "I need to get something."

He raised an eyebrow, but watched me spring back to the table where Camille and Jo were sitting. I grabbed the bag that had been lying at my feet when I had been sitting. I smiled at them and an back to Logan.

"Now, and I mean this, you might wanna turn away." I told him.

He snorted. "If I'm going to be a doctor, I'll see a lot of stuff. Go ahead with your little plan."

I sighed, then whipped my sweatshirt off. Yes, you perverts, I had a shirt underneath. I heard a tiny gasp come from Logan as I grabbed the diet pills from the bag, then threw said bag away.

"Oh, Kendall," he moaned in sympathy.

"Yeah, I know. It totally destroyed my six-pack." I said, smiling, trying to impress him while showing him I was still me. I slipped the pills into my pocket. "C'mon. Practice."

"R-right…"

-Logan's POV-

I never expected him to look that bad… Dear god, what had Gustavo done to him?

I could see every single rib bone, due to the fact that they were poking through his tight shirt. He was just too thin. It hurt me to watch him and it brought tears to my eyes.

I made a decision.

What? Kendall's not the only one who can scheme like a demon from hell.

**FF**

Kendall stormed into the studio, similar to a tornado, blowing everyone away.

Oh, did I mention, Carlos and James were right behind us?

'Cause they were.

"Gustavo." Kendall called, crossed his arms over his chest.

Our blubbery producer turned to us, one eyebrow raised. "Yes?"

Kendall took his diet pills from his pocket and slammed them down on the table, his coy half-smile disappearing. "If I still had an ass, I'd ask you to kiss it." He growled. "Don't know if you noticed, yo, but what I at ain't healthy. I got a fast metabolism, 'kay? Jesus." He turned away, rolling his eyes, to stand next to me. I clapped silently.

10 out of 10! Go gangstas!

I smiled at him. He smirked back.

Mmm….sexy smirk…I could watch him do his thing every day all day…especially if I got to see that look…and hear that voice…

I froze. Fuck. I had been trying to avoid those thoughts ever since they had appeared when I had been eating those strawberries with John. But now I couldn't stop them. This was bad.

I was horny.

Really horny.

This would end badly.

But, I'd have to deal with that later.

**FF**

Looking around, I saw that Mrs. Knight and Katie were already asleep. I smiled.

This would go easier than expected.

I grabbed Carlos by the sleeve. He stumbled, but looked at me expectantly. "Get James and Kendall. I have a plan."

"Is it to help Kendall?" He asked. "'Cause I've been worried, man."

I nodded. "Yes. Now, go get them!" I shoved him in the direction to their room. He laughed and ran off. I tapped my foot unconsciously.

Would they go with it? Would they shun me? Would I be able to convince them?

Would I be able to get off?

"Got 'em, Logan!" Carlos cried. I smiled and turned towards my friends. And there they were, with Kendall and James looking confused and Carlos holding them both by their ears. I mentally facepalmed.

That kid would never learn.

"Thank you, Carlos." I said, nodding to him. He grinned and let the other two go. "Now." I let my expression slide into something more serious. "In light of Kendall's recent weight loss, and his rebellion towards it, I would like to treat you three to ice cream. This can go two ways." They all looked confused. "I'm either going to go out and get some and bring it back so we can have some kind of movie night like back in Minnesota, or I'm going to use my fake license to bring you to an ice-cream-parlor-substitute they have down here." I held up the small plastic card, crossing my arms.

Their jaws dropped.

Carlos was the first to recover. "ICE CREAM PARLOR!"

James slapped him upside the head. "Do you not get it?" He cried. "Logan would be breaking the law! Logan! And he's willing to break the law!"

Carlos finally got it and looked shocked and guilty and the same time. For a split second, I felt guilt welling up in my heart as well, and one look at Kendall, I knew I had gone too far.

But that didn't stop me.

"Either way, I'm out of this apartment in five seconds."

Kendall was suddenly tearing my fake license out of my hand. "I am not letting you use that. And I never will." He growled.

I smirked before turning and briskly walking out of the apartment. Yes, smirked.

He was so sexy when he got protective.

I shook my head, the smirk disappearing. Jesus, why did I get so horny like this? It was like my own version of manstration!

…Actually, that's probably exactly what it was.

Suddenly, I was in my car, already driving. I was probably going in the wrong direction, but that didn't matter.

At least, not in my opinion.

-Kendall's POV-

I stared at the license in my hands. It looked genuine.

I felt my leg shaking in fury and could practically see the world turning red.

"Kendall? Y-you…you okay there, buddy?"

I glanced up at James. "What do you think, James? I was mad enough already today to start talking gangster! Now, I'm gonna-! I don't even…" I sighed, burying my face in my hands. "I am just…sick and tired of seeing Logan getting hurt. Especially when he hurts himself. I just don't know what to do, or to say, or what. I feel like…like I'm losing him."

James sighed and sat down next to me. He put a hand on my shoulder. "I'm not gonna lie to you, bro. I don't know how to comfort you. But, what I do know is that you care for him. That's what I see. And that counts for a lot, Kendall. More than you realize. Give yourself a break. Please. You're going to end up killing yourself."

I laughed hollowly, bitterly. "You have no idea." I said.

I looked over at James.

He was my best friend. He and I had been friends since we were three. He had always been there for me, and vice versa. We had stayed really tight forever. Why else do you think I would choose him of all people to be my fake boyfriend? We hadn't met Logan until he ended up in our class in third grade. He had clicked with us immediately, and not just because he helped us with our math work. And then, two years later in fifth grade, Carlos moved in from Puerto Rico. His accent had been thicker then, but he still spoke perfect English. He had been a welcome addition to our little group. It wasn't until seventh grade that he had told us his horrific story, which included why and how he had learned to speak English.

The four of us had stayed best friends.

"Kendall…what do you mean?" James asked.

I looked away from him, back at Logan's fake license, and shook my head. "Nothing. Never mind."

He sighed, and rubbed my back slightly. "If you say so."

Suddenly, he was gone. I let him go.

Just like I did with Logan, huh?

**FF**

-Logan's POV-

Mad at me or not, those boys loved their ice cream.

Carlos downed two cartons of peanut butter chocolate chip ice cream within the space of an hour. James was practically snuggling his cookie dough ice cream. I was perfectly happy with my chocolate-peanut butter swirl ice cream. And Kendall was nearly making love to his chocolate ice cream.

And yes, I was paying very close attention to him.

With every flick of that pink tongue of his, I felt arousal spiral up my veins. I tried to keep myself calm, keep my eyes away from him, keep my hard on covered up, but damn, he was hot. And this, of course, was on the worst night possible.

At least you'll have a substantial image, eh, Logie?

I snapped my gaze back to the movie, the name of which I couldn't even place anymore. The only things running through my mind were images of exactly what Kendall could do with his mouth and my sheer envy of his damned ice cream. He didn't notice my uneasiness, since I had distanced myself slightly from the others like I did on these nights.

But, unfortunately, my eyes slipped back to the blonde sex god. He was licking his spoon clean, his tongue following the simple curve of the utensil (now I was jealous of that, too!), and it made me shudder in pure need. Then, of course, he dunked his spoon back into the carton to gather another large spoonful of the frozen treat. He dipped his tongue into it first, then dug deeper until he had a small portion of it on his tongue, which disappeared inside his mouth.

I almost moaned aloud.

**FF**

It was midnight. I glanced around. Carlos was asleep. I let out a silent sigh of relief.

Goodbye, horniness!

At the simple mention of release, my dick sprung up. I turned away from the Latino just in case as my hand trailed down slowly. I was teasing myself.

That's just pathetic.

An electric shock ran through me at the first touch, just like always. I grabbed a pillow with my free hand and shoved it in my face. I started a slow rhythm, adding onto it and adding speed every few seconds. I let out a tiny whimper, and had to freeze.

Nobody heard that, did they?

Silence.

I went back to my earlier actions. Images of Kendall's tongue running up and down the organ infested in my mind and had hypothetical babies, creating more, raunchy pictures and fantasies. His tongue on me, his lips everywhere, his magnificent cock inside me…

I was so caught up in this, I didn't hear the conversation going on behind me.

All I did hear was the very end, when I was fading out of my pleasure-induced trance for just a second.

"Alright, thanks, Carlos."

"You owe me, bro."

"I know I do, man."

Was that…?

KENDALL.

FUCK.

I flipped over to my other side so I was watching him put his stuff around the room in a haphazard mountain. "Hey, man," my voice was cracking, "what're you doing here?"

He looked up at me and smiled sadly. "James and I are having a fight. So, I'll be staying in here for a while. You're okay with that, right?" He asked, pouting in a way that just made me harder, if that was even possible.

I nodded. "Yeah, man." I squeaked.

He raised an eyebrow. "You okay?" He asked.

I panicked. I had to make a break for it. "YeahdudeI'!" I babbled as I shot to the bathroom, slamming the door behind me, taking my phone for some reason. I realized that my subconscious had planned something for the chance that anything happens.

I grinned.

I love my brain!

I love you too, Logan.

GOD?

…Go back to masturbating.

Okey dokles!

And that's exactly what I did.

Then I snuck back into the room. Kendall was snoring slightly, a sign that he was asleep. I smiled, my heart melting. I was one of the few people that knew of his sleeping problem (not even James and Carlos knew), and I also knew that he only snored on nights that he didn't take a pill.

I wanted to pull him into a giant hug.

Which would be awkward after I just jacked off to images of him eating ice cream.

But he didn't know that!

But, he still wasn't single…

Maybe I don't have to be, though…

I smirked. I was on a roll.

Hiya! So, whatcha think? I gave you a hint of smut. You happy, you perverted vultures?

'Cause I am. xD

Carlos: *head is tilted* I never knew you could be so naughty with ice cream…

James: *sends Carlos a thinly-veiled hungry look* Oh, really?

Carlos: *looks at James* *blinks* Yeah.

James: *picks him up* *carries him away*

…*stares at bare feet* I think I have man feet…

Kendall: *sits down next to me* *stares at my feet* You don't have man feet. I have man feet.

Logan: *rolls eyes* *mutters: Tell me about it…*

Kendall: *head shoots up* What?

Logan: *smiles* Nothing, sweetie.

Kendall: *suspicious look* You think I have gross feet, don't you?

Logan: Well… *looks away*

Kendall: LOGAN!

Logan: What's up?

Kendall: *groans* Distopian Heart! Do something?

Do you not see my feet, bro?

Kendall: DUDE! Logan thinks I have disgusting feet!

I have disgusting feet!

Logan: *glances over* No you don't. You know who has gross feet? Taylor Lautner.

Kendall: How would you know?

Logan: *walks away*

Kendall: …*faints*

…Cool! I don't have gross feet! And Logan makes Kendall a pussy! Life is fun today!

Alrighty, my dears! Rate, review, love!