Hiya! It's me again! xD Yeah, I know. Oh, so, I think you vultures will be happy about this glimpse into the real Big Time Rush!

Oh, and just a little information.

I AM A GIRL.

Just to clear up some rumors I saw on the review chain. I don't want you guys thinking I'm a dude just because I used an inside joke between me and one of my friends…even if he doesn't read this story. But who cares? He's straight, I wouldn't expect him to read it. And, if you're wondering, NO, I don't have man feet. I have nice girl feet. :D

And I swear every other sentence because that's the way people talk in my town! That's how I fucking talk! So get the fuck over yourselves!

So…anyway! I was happy to write this! Also, I think it's time we celebrate! TENTH FUCKING CHAPTER! WOOOO! No, I'm serious. I just want to thank you for reading, and keeping up with all the drama in this story. I am at your mercy, dear people. *bows* I love you.

Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush! Trust me! If I did, there wouldn't be a need to write this! We'd all be getting our daily dose of gay just by watching it! (Not that I don't with Big Time Crib, but you catch my drift.)

Warnings: Yaoi, slash, guy on guy, that genre! Foul language and later on some serious, explicit smexing. No likey, no read-y!

It was a weird two weeks.

I'll tell you that much.

So…don't say I didn't warn you, okay?

Because I totally just did, two lines up.

And yes, I did just break the fourth wall. That might happen a lot now.

ANYWAY.

It started the day after my little horny night (AWWWW-KWAAARRD), a Wednesday. I had been noticing it was getting hotter in LA. And, coming from Minnesota, that was unbearable.

But, today's story starts in the morning.

Carlos and I were sitting in the kitchen. James and Kendall were sleeping in way too late.

"They probably fucked. Maybe that's what the fight's about." Carlos suggested jokingly.

I forced a laugh, even though that added up. "Maybe Kendall's dick's the size of a peanut." I joked, aching inside for being so mean about him, even if I was kidding.

Carlos cracked up. "Or maybe James has been cheating on Kendall with five other dudes and his hole is just a vacuum now."

I laughed for real. "Dude! That's so gross!" I choked out.

"You guys seem happy."

Carlos and I looked up from our laughter to see Kendall and James standing there. It had been Kendall talking. I saw the serious looks on their faces and stopped laughing.

"You guys don't." I said, which got Carlos to pay attention and stop laughing.

Kendall and James glanced at each other before sitting down. "We have to talk." They said.

Carlos and I exchanged a glance. I was the first to speak up. "We're not getting kicked out of the band, are we? We're trying to sing better! And I'm learning to dance!" I was genuinely scared.

"Give us a chance, guys!" Carlos cried, slamming his hand on the table. I put a hand on his shoulder to calm him down, then turned to Kendall and James (who both looked confused) with a serious face.

"Why don't you guys just talk." I suggested, folding my hands together on the table and leaning forward a bit.

"We don't want to lie to you guys." James started. I bit my tongue. That was never a good opening line. "So we won't."

"James and I…" Kendall sighed, his eyes focusing in on mine. "We broke up." His gaze fell to his hands.

MY IMMEDIATE THOUGHTS:

Woo! Yeah! Kiss my ass, James! I KNEW you guys wouldn't last! Wait! This means I finally have a chance at Kendall! Yes! He will be MINE!

MY IMMEDIATE REACTION TO MY THOUGHTS:

I glared hungrily at Kendall for less than a second before looking back at my hands, my leg starting to shake in excitement.

MY IMMEDIATE REACTION TO THEIR WORDS:

I smiled sympathetically. "That's a shame. You guys were really cute together." I said gently.

"That must have been some fight." Carlos observed. "What was it about?"

I elbowed him. "Give them time, Carlos." I hissed. Then, I turned back to the now ex-couple. "You know, this is a wicked big coincidence."

Kendall raised an eyebrow. "How so?" He asked.

"John and I broke up last night." I improvised. The three of my friends froze. I sighed. "Yes, you can rip on him."

They exploded.

"Logan, that guy was obviously out for sex and sex only!" James yelled.

"You should have seen the looks he gave you, man! It was disgusting!" Carlos shouted.

"He was a douche bag, Logie! You never should have gotten involved with him!" Kendall snapped.

"He corrupted you!"

"Gave you a fake license!"

"Brainwashed you so much that you almost broke the law!"

"For you," I interrupted after what Kendall said. They all froze and raised an eyebrow at me in confusion. "I used my corrupted brain to figure out that Kendall's weight was unhealthy, so I almost used my fake license to break the law because you guys are important to me. If any of you got hurt, I'd do anything in my power and any tool I have at hand to help you."

They looked guilty for a second. But then, Kendall remembered something.

"Wait, if you broke up last night, then what were you doing last night when I moved in?" He asked.

"You were doing something?" Carlos and James asked.

I smiled nervously. "You should try break up phone sex. It's a good experience."

I'm just glad I made my way out of that room so I could get t o the car driving us to the studio.

Oh, and yes, I texted John the notice of our break up.

He 'lol'd.

**FF**

We were in the studio. Kendall and James were as far apart as they could get; I was surprised. They had been best friends since before I'd known them. But I think he already told you that story…

Oh, he did?

Nice! Makes my job a helluva lot easier!

So, anyway, after Gustavo yelled at us for the tenth time, we said that we were unfocused because there were a lot of break ups going on, and Kendall joked that we were now Big Time Homo Break Ups, Kelly asked a hilarious question.

"So, are Carlos and Logan in a relationship? I just wanna know. 'Cause, you know, with Kendall and James hooking up, one could only expect the other two to find comfort in each other's arms, even if it meant Logan cheating on his other boyfriend." She couldn't help the big ass grin on her face.

Carlos smirked at me. I bit a knuckle to keep from laughing as he leaned towards the microphone. "No, we're just fuck buddies." He leaned back, grabbing my hand, and held it up in the air.

I couldn't help but laugh at the shocked faces of everyone. "He's kidding!" I cried. "No, Carlos and I are in no way at all romantically involved, no matter what he says."

He shrugged.

I rolled my eyes and elbowed him.

So, over the next two weeks, we did some crazy fun stuff. We locked a blogger in a supply closet (Carlos almost offered to suck him off so he wouldn't web-bash us), we fought a 'ghost', and we met Jordin Sparks (who tried to flirt with Kendall, making me hate her with a fiery passion).

That's the life of a modern boy band, I guess.

But then, out of the blue, that Wednesday, Carlos did something…odd.

Okay, let me explain.

It was noon, about time for lunch. Just as we got over to our duffel bags, Carlos' watch made a beeping noise. He checked, made a quiet, humming noise, then turned to James.

He kissed him.

It wasn't making out, not even open-mouthed. But it was passionate, and definitely a kiss.

My jaw dropped open. What the fuck is he doing? I yelled in my mind.

When he broke away, James was flushed and looked dazed. "Carlos…" He breathed. "What was that?"

The Latino, who had sit down with his lunch and started eating it, looked up at James. "Oh, trust me, bro, you have no idea how long I've wanted to do that." He said. "Since I realized I was gay. Which was, like, seventh grade…?" He shrugged.

"Carlos!" I cried. "James has only been single for two weeks!"

"Which is the minimum amount of time to wait before claiming someone as your own." He said bluntly, inspecting his sandwich. He then looked up at me with an innocent face. "It was the longest I could go."

I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose. "Jesus Christ…"

I looked over to Kendall to see his reaction. I was expecting him to be as shocked as I was, but his reaction definitely wasn't surprise. He was having a hard time not laughing, his shoulders shaking with the effort. I slapped his shoulder. "Shouldn't you be pissed off right now?" I hissed.

He smiled at me. "James isn't my property anymore. He can do whatever with whoever he wants."

Just then, James fell to his knees and kissed Carlos with a crushing force. I could see Carlos' grin as he kissed back.

Kendall leaned in closer to me. "To tell the truth, I'm just glad he's happy. We were never the right fit." He said quietly.

I smiled as I watched Carlos and James make out, (weird as it may sound…), and whispered back to Kendall, "I'm glad to see Carlos happy, too. I can't imagine what he must have been feeling when his three best friends all had significant others, while all he had was his helmet."

Kendall wrapped an arm around my shoulders, pulling me closer to him. "You're too nice sometimes, you know that?" He asked.

"I know it more than you do." I retorted.

He smiled at me, then turned to Carlos and James. "As much as we all enjoy getting to second base in public, it's getting kinda gross, guys."

James pulled away, glaring at Kendall dangerously, but then smiled warmly at Carlos. I sighed silently, knowing that they were an adorable couple and slightly jealous of their happiness.

Even though they had only kissed.

Their chemistry was inevitable.

I slid a glance over at Kendall. He was already sitting down on the floor, eating his lunch. I sat down next to him, grabbing my lunch, and ate cheerfully.

This was the beginning of an era.

**FF**

-Kendall's POV-

It was a week after Carlos kissed James. They were a popular couple around the Palm Woods (no homophobes yet, thank god!), especially with Camille, Jo, and Kelly. Turns out, they all thought watching gay stuff was hot.

And here I thought it was a gay thing…

But it makes a lot of sense now!

Anyway. That Friday, we all ended up on our own. I found myself alone in 2J, bored out of my mind. Several things to relieve me of my boredom came to mind, but I was too lazy to fulfill any of the ideas.

You know what I'm talking about.

But, by a sudden burst of energy, I plugged my iPod into the iHome and pressed shuffle.

Numb by Linkin Park.

I started to sing along under my breath. It sorta described the mess I was in. Gustavo and this town were pressuring me to be one thing, when I was something completely different. I didn't notice it, but while my thoughts went on, my voice got louder until I was almost louder than the music (for those who have iHomes, the volume was at 23 or something).

Next song: In The End by Linkin Park.

I rolled my eyes. My iPod was off today. I wanted stuff to take my mind off things…like metal! Metal was always a good friend of mine.

But I wasn't complaining.

At least, by listening to this kind of music, I knew someone out there knew what I was going through…sort of.

But then, I listened to the lyrics of the music as I unconsciously sat up. This was about all his hard work crashing down after getting so far in the game.

What if that happened to me?

What if Big Time Rush became a flop after our first album?

James would never be able to forgive himself. He'd tumble down into a deep, dark depression, and if he did, I'd never forgive myself. I would be crushed to see my best friend's biggest dreams shattered after almost being in his grasp. And Logan would eventually get over the bad breaking up, but he would never be able to be taken seriously for a doctor. He'd never get his career fulfilled, and that would throw me down into the planet harder and do that much more damage. And Carlos… Well, Carlos would feel like a failure after having done so much at such a young age (he'd had to take care of his mother when they were in Puerto Rico, and then had to force her to move to America), but not being able to make it big once he got to LA, face so much, did so much, and gotten so close. He may never be that peppy little squirt that I had become closer to than a brother, the connection the four of us shared.

We would all be destroyed.

Maybe the other bands we had beat out had harsher stories. Maybe they needed this more than we did.

Maybe.

I hated that word. What if, too.

I shook my head. Gotta clear my head of those thoughts. But they wouldn't go away.

I thought of Logan. Oh, Logan. With both of us single, I might actually be able to muster up a few sexy flirts. Yeah, I could totally do that. I was flirty by nature – I could flirt someone into buying a gun and shooting a puppy in the head.

But Logan…

Logan had always been nervous around people he liked. Actually, scratch that, he was always nervous around people he didn't know. It was pretty cute, in my opinion. But my opinion is useless; it has you poor people reading about puppies getting shot.

I'd do anything for Logan. I wanted him to know that. I loved him, so much that it hurt at times. I wanted him to know that. I had dreams of him at night, agonizingly realistic dreams that showed me what we could be. I wanted him to know that.

But he was such an angel. He didn't deserve a burden like me on his hands. I would drag him down to hell with me, while he needed to be up in heaven. It was fact.

You know what else is a fact? That snide, cruel, and annoyingly right voice in the back of my mind cooed. You're being a pussy about this. If this were anyone else, you'd already have them in the palm of your hand. Just tell him already! And fuck him nightly, I despise being part of a pussy's mind.

See? Annoying, right?

I groaned, ceasing my singing for a minute as I buried my face in my hands. I rubbed my face for a reason I didn't know, then folded my hands in a fashion that people did when they prayed. I felt tears well up in my eyes.

Give me a chance, God…I promise you, I won't fuck it up, like I've done with all the other good things you've given me…please…let me love…

Vaguely, I heard Pain by Three Days Grace come on. I sang along with all my heart.

-Logan's POV-

I sighed, blinking for the first time in what seemed like hours. The sky seemed impossibly blue, and it almost hurt to stare at it the way I was.

I was bored. Simply put, unless you're stoned, staring up at the sky on an apartment rooftop isn't all it's cracked up to be. And I didn't plan on getting stoned anytime soon.

Funny how strong that irony is.

But that's a story to be told another time.

Sighing once again, I climbed down off the roof. I slid down the gutter, feeling slightly awkward and pole-dancer-ish (A/N: Hahaha! Reference to my latest story idea, At The Very Least! I shall be publishing that soon, so keep your eyes peeled!), but didn't think much of it and made my way back to 2J.

When I was outside the door of 2J, I was about to open it, but froze. I heard a familiar song coming from inside the apartment. I raised an eyebrow and pressed my ear to the door. Pain by Three Days Grace. Something seemed off about the singing, though. And then I realized that I knew that singing voice.

Kendall!

The sincerity and anguish pouring from his voice made sympathy and remorse run through my veins. I wanted to burst in there and give him a hug, tell him that it would be okay, do anything to comfort him. I couldn't stand hearing his voice crack in torment.

But I couldn't just barge in there.

Think of the consequences, Logan! Imagine what he'd do if he thought you were just some stalker!

Yes…but imagine what would happen if he went along…

I'm not even going to say the chance of that happening, you starry-eyed little fuck!

Chill, bro…let the pro handle this.

I opened the door and sang the bridge.

I know, I know, I know, I know, I know that you're wounded
You know, you know, you know, you know, that I'm here to save you
You know, you know, you know, you know, I'm always here for you
I know, I know, I know, I know, that you'll thank me later

Of course, his immediate reaction was to jump in shock and stare at me in terror. He looked like a deer in headlights, his emerald eyes widening to an almost impossible size. But as I sang the song in an increasingly gentle voice, he relaxed, stepping off the couch. When I finished the bridge, he started singing the chorus in a soft, almost scared voice, as if trying to say to me, "I don't want to do this, but it's who I've become. Accept me. I'm begging you."

We sang the rest of the song in unison, slowly walking towards each other. I could hear my blood pounding in my ears, my heartbeat escalating in long-awaited gratification.

"You know, don't you?" He asked, his voice low and steady. There was no way in the world I could lie to that tone.

I nodded. "It scares me, Kendall." I said, averting my gaze from his. But he grabbed my chin and forced me to look at him.

"Scares me too, Logie." He whispered, leaning closer until I could feel his breath against my lips. I took a sharp intake of breath, fearfully looking in his eyes for confirmation. His eyebrows furrowed, telling me I should listen to him. "But not more than the thought of losing you."

Our lips met before I knew what was happening.

But I wouldn't have traded the moment for the world.

Oh! Oh! Tenth chapter! And you KNOW what this means!

EVERYONE IS HAPPY!

…For now…

Mwahahahahaha!

Kendall: *grins* You sadistic little bitch! You finally bring us all together!

That doesn't mean I won't throw in a little trouble here and there.

Logan: I expect you to.

*smiles*

Carlos: Dude! Did you get our songs yet or not?

Oh, yeah! Yeah, I did! Okay, for Kendall, it's Headstrong by Trapt. For obvious reasons.

Kendall: *shrugs*

For Carlos, it's I Am The Walrus by Styx.

Carlos: …Whyyyyy?

Because it says a bunch of random shit. It's totally you, bro.

Carlos: Answer accepted…*grumbles*

James: *pats Carlos' shoulder comfortingly*

Logan: And me?

Well, for you, just for this story, I'd have to say Believe by The Bravery. *shrugs* Sorry, bro. I couldn't find anything that suited YOU. If only you were a mad scientist…then I could use River Below by Billy Talent… *spaces out*

Logan: …Alrighty then.

James: Who says we all celebrate ten chapters of adoration?

Me, Kendall, Logan, and Carlos: MEEEEEEE!

All: WEEEEEEEEEEEEE! *FUCKING SEXY GANGSTA DANCE PARTY, YO*

Now, my dear loves, rate, review, love!