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It had been three days since Eriana had disappeared in Redcliff Castle, and Leliana still didn't know what the elven woman planned to do about Alistair. They had talked for a long time about her options when she finally showed up the next morning, refusing to answer any questions as to her whereabouts the previous night. Leliana was concerned for her friend. She knew that Eriana cared for Alistair a great deal, more than she would have ever admitted to Leliana, but she also knew that she was a proud woman. Eriana Tabris was not the type to allow herself to be used, nor was she the type to allow others to see her weaknesses. She had been rather quiet since they left Redcliff on their way back into the Frostback Mountains. Leliana could tell things were starting to weigh on Eriana, but of course, she wouldn't talk about her feelings unless Leliana pushed. Leliana suggested that the two of them scout ahead, looking for a place to set up camp so that the two women could have some time alone to talk.
Once the women were alone, Leliana managed to get the elf to open up. "So, do you have any idea what you are planning to do?"
Eriana sighed, "I've got to end things with him, Lil; it's as simple as that. As much as I hate it, it's the only reasonable thing to do." She looked over at her friend, "I like him a lot, but…"
"Do you love him?"
"I don't think so; not yet at least. But I could love him; he's very loveable, you know?" Eriana said sadly. "The longer I put it off, though, the harder it will be for me to end it. I have to do it now, before it's too late."
"You don't think there's any way to work things out between you two?" Leliana asked.
"That's the problem. There's nothing wrong between us; ever since Haven, we've been getting along wonderfully. And that's what makes this hard. Most relationships end because your feelings for that person change; well, that's not the case with us. Our situation has changed, not our feelings. There is no way to work this out; we come from two different worlds and our lives are headed in two very different directions. We may be going the same way now, but our destination is so very different."
"Then why not enjoy what time you have together? With the Blight and the bounty on you two and everything else that seems to happen, there's no guarantee Eamon's plan will even work. You have happiness now in your grasp; why not make the most of it? Find love while you can."
"You're starting to sound like Zevran. That's kind of his philosophy, 'enjoy life, take your pleasures where you can.'" Eriana kicked at a rock in front of her. "I can't simply enjoy this because I've already lost so many things that made me happy in the moment, so many things that I loved," she said, looking at the ring on her left hand, "I've had my plans dashed and my dreams destroyed, and I'm not going to set myself up for another heartbreak."
"You were willing to risk it before with Alistair," Leliana pointed out.
"Yes, but that was before." Eriana shook her head, "Look, whenever you put yourself out there, there is always a chance that you will be hurt, right." Leliana nodded. "So it's a risk every time you let someone close to your heart, but you do it because there is hope for a happy ending. Well, there is no hope for a happy ending here, Leliana, none. Follow our relationship to the logical end; even if nothing happens to us and everything works out perfectly, he is on the throne and I am in command of the Wardens. He is married to a noble woman who will bear his heirs because you know that's the first job of a king, to produce more kings. I can't give him that noble heir; I'm just an elf. The nobility would never accept a child of mine and you know that."
Leliana was quiet for a while; she was right of course. The relationship with Alistair had no future. Ending things with him now would save both of them a lot of heartbreak. "I understand where you're coming from. I suppose I would try to protect my heart if I was in your shoes as well. So what are you going to do?"
"I guess I need to end it with him, today. I need to do it today. No need to put it off any longer, it will only make it harder. He's just so sensitive; I mean, you saw him in Lothering. I don't want him going back to that Alistair."
"What Alistair is that?"
"The moping broody Alistair," Eriana said. "The one who doesn't have any passion, who blames himself and sulks about his bad luck in life. That Alistair is very hard to handle. I don't want him resenting me or his heritage either, so I can't just say 'Hey, Al, you're going to be King so I'm dumping you.' I'm afraid he will come to resent his throne or even try to renounce it, and we need him to be the King."
"So you need a reason to end things, then? What about Zevran?" Leliana suggested.
"Zevran? What do you mean?"
"Well, you and Zev are close, maybe if there was something between you two Alistair would…"
"No," Eriana said shortly. "I refuse to use Zevran like that. He is a good friend and I won't pretend that there is something between us just so Alistair will hate him. We don't need that kind of tension between them. I'll figure something out."
Leliana smiled, "It was just a thought, and you may not even be using him. It may actually help get your mind off Alistair too, no? He is a handsome and alluring elf is he not? And there is a connection between you two, don't even try to deny it; I've seen the way he looks at you."
"He looks that way at anything that walks upright; you realize that don't you. And talk about setting myself up for heartbreak."
"You said yourself that there were no assurances in love," she ignored Eriana's apprising look, "I'm just saying, should you need an excuse, I'm sure Zevran would provide one for you, and he could provide a pleasant distraction at the same time."
Eriana sighed, "I'm sure he would be a very pleasant distraction, but I've been distracted plenty of times in my life. I kind of hoped that the next time I was with someone, it would be someone I truly cared about. I've never been with someone where it was just about pleasure or lust. With Zevran, I would be afraid that that was all there was, attraction and physical pleasure." Eriana seemed like she was about to say more when she stopped abruptly.
Leliana noticed Eriana tense up. "What is it?"
"Darkspawn, I think. I haven't been able to sense them very well before," Eriana's eyes narrowed like she was concentrating on something, "but I've got this strange feeling." She put her hand to the side of her head. "It's like I'm being pulled toward something. We need to get back to the others. If I can sense them, then they might be able to sense me. Let's go."
The two women took off running back toward the rest of the party. As soon as the two women got within eye sight of their companions, they saw that Alistair was already armed, rushing toward them. "Did you sense them?" he asked and Eriana nodded. "A small party, maybe a dozen or so. They're headed this way and fast; we have about ten minutes."
"There's a grove just over that hill where we can set up a good defense," Eriana said, "They won't be able to flank us, and there are plenty of high places for the Morrigan and Leliana to attack."
They quickly made their way to the grove. Leliana and Morrigan found a good positon to attack from above while Zevran disappeared into the heavy brush lining the clearing. Sten and Alistair set up infront of Eriana and the dog. "Eriana and I will draw the bulk of the attack; they'll be coming for us because they will sense us," Alistair said. He glanced down at Eriana, "Stay behind us if you can and take out as many stragglers as you can. Ramoth, stay with her and make sure she can keep firing her arrows."
Sure enough, as soon as the darkspawn appeared, they headed straight for the two Wardens in the center. Leliana rained down arrows on the approaching monsters while Morrigan bombarded them with spells. Eriana stood behind the two melee fighters, taking out darkspawn on the fringe with Sten and Alistair engaged the main bulk of enemies. Zevran moved through the shadows, taking out stragglers before they could break away and attack the ranged attackers. They were quick and efficient, everyone working in perfect synchronicity. The fight was over in a matter of minutes. Leliana sighed as she and Morrigan moved to join the rest of the group. She hoped that the fight with the darkspawn would be the only confrontation the two Wardens had to face that day, but in her gut, she was afraid that they would be dealing with much worse before the day was through.
Zevran and Leliana sat at the fire, quietly mending their armor and washing off any darkspawn residue; they were also subtly watching the two Wardens talking across camp. Eriana was smart enough to take Alistair far enough away from the group so that their discussion couldn't be overheard, not that Leliana wanted to hear it, watching it would be hard enough. It was Zevran who finally broke the silence.
"So she's ending it with the templar then?" he asked, not taking his eyes of the duo.
"That's what she said this afternoon. She seemed pretty certain about it."
"Ten silvers say she doesn't do it," he said, glancing over at the red-headed bard.
Leliana rolled her eyes. This was going to be hard enough on Eriana, and she hoped Zevran didn't take it this lightly with her. "Are you sure you want to bet against her? When she makes up her mind about something, she is usually dead set on doing it."
"Oh, I have no doubt she'll do it eventually. My money says that she's won't do it today; it's too soon." He glanced over at Leliana, "If you disagree, put your silver where you're certain."
"Deal, she's resolved; this is going to be easy coinage," said Leliana, turning her attention back to Alistair and Eriana.
Alistair was doing most of the talking, and Eriana had her back to the rogues, so they couldn't see her reactions, but Alistair's face didn't look that pained. Leliana cringed a bit when Zevran pointed that out. "I don't think that's the face of a man being dumped; don't you agree my dear?" He was right, of course; Alistair didn't look upset at all. In fact, he looked like a fawning puppy dog as he looked down at Eriana, a big goofy grin on his face. They could tell Eriana was fidgeting with her ring, something she always did when she was nervous or deep in thought. Alistair then pulled something out of his pack and handed it to her, but from their perspective, neither of them could tell what he had in his hands, only that she was staring at it intently. Leliana wondered when he had time to get her something. Then Alistair reached up and stroked the side of Eriana's face in a loving way before he leaned in to kiss her, his hands moving around her back to pull her close. Leliana groaned and handed a smug looking Zevran the coins from her purse. "Ha ha, never bet against me when it comes to women and romance," Zevran whispered in her ear as Alistair started to blush from his neck to his hairline. Clearly, things had not gone according to Eriana's plan, and she had a sheepish look on her face when she joined the other two rogues at the fire.
"Well?" Leliana said inquisitively, "what happened. From where we were sitting that didn't look like a break up."
Eriana hushed her and motioned for them to join her in her tent. Once they were all safely inside, she started to explain, "I just couldn't do it. He started talking, and it was so sweet, ugh, I couldn't bring myself to tell him." She reached in her pack and pulled out a single red rose and handed it to Leliana. "Then he gave me this."
"You couldn't break up with him because he gave you one rose?" Leliana asked, confused.
"Here, I have some deathroot in my pouch; if I gave it to you would you join me in my tent?" Zevran asked. "What?" he said when the two women glared at him, "At least deathroot is more useful than a flower. It could numb your tongue to his terrible cooking, no?"
"It wasn't just the flower; it was his whole sentiment behind it," Eriana said, snatching it back from Leliana. "He picked it outside of Lothering; he said that he was amazed something so beautiful could exist around such sorrow and ugliness. He said he picked it because he couldn't bear to leave it to be destroyed by the darkspawn." Leliana sighed while Zevran rolled his eyes. "Then he said that he was giving it to me because it reminded him of me, that he felt the same thing about me. He said that I was a rare and wonderful thing to find amid all this darkness. Zevran, don't laugh," she said, elbowing him, "it wasn't a line. He was sincere, and it was surprisingly articulate."
"I know," said Zevran laughing, "I heard him practicing it on the dog while you two were away this afternoon. Please tell me he said the part about the steamy bits too?" Eriana nodded, and Zevran broke into another bout of laughter.
"Zevran, you are terrible," Leliana slapped his arm as she scolded him. "You knew he what he was going to do; no wonder you made that bet."
"Bet? What are you talking about?"
Leliana looked a bit embarrassed as she explained the terms of the bet she and Zevran had made earlier that evening. Luckily Eriana simply laughed and rolled her eyes at her friends. "Seriously though, how was I supposed to end things with him after that? It broke my heart to stand there and listen to it." When neither of them said anything, she said, "well thanks, you guys are a ton of help."
Leliana pulled Eriana into a hug, "Just give it some time, dear. An answer will present itself, just be careful not to lead him on any further."
"Remember when I swore my loyalty to you, I told you I could drive away unwanted suitors. Well, here is a chance for me to make good on my claim, no?" Leliana and Eriana rolled their eyes at Zevran.
"I'll figure something out, don't worry," said Eriana as she stared down at the rose in her lap. "I'll figure something out."