Alistair spent the entire day pacing back and forth in front of the entrance to the deep roads; in fact, he had spent every day for the past two weeks pacing a rut in the ground in front of the guards station. It had been almost three weeks since he had seen the sun and nearly two weeks since Eriana disappeared into the deep roads without him. Two weeks ago, he had stood there, his heart in his throat, watching her fade into the shadows with Morrigan, some dwarf, and that stupid Antivan at her side. They had spent their first week in the underground city running various errands for Prince Bhelen; then he asked them to venture into the darkest parts of the deep roads in search of Orzammar's lost paragon. A fool's errand, a hopeless quest, but one she had to accept in order to gain his support against the Blight.

Frustrated, Alistair sat down and ran his hand through his unusually messy hair before he rested his head in his hands, guilt still surging through him, remembering their disastrous first day in the city. He had been so furious when he saw Zevran touching her that he had snapped, and then he seriously hurt her. As if he hadn't hurt her enough in the past, but now he was throwing her across the room and giving her concussions. He had let his jealousy get the better of him, and all his discipline had crumbled. Then he stood there dumbly as Zevran ran to her side and tended to her with more tenderness than he thought Zevran was capable of. As much as he tried, he couldn't get the image of Zevran gently cradling Eriana out of his head. When she woke up the next morning, she was furious with him, but the worst part of the whole thing was that she wasn't angry at him for giving her a concussion. She was angry at him for lashing out at Zevran.

"I don't care if you don't trust him, Alistair," she had yelled at him. "I do! He is my friend, and I will not have you flinging my friends against the wall." He tried to apologize, to explain himself, but she wasn't in the mood to listen. "Look, we have too much to fight against to be bickering amongst ourselves. You two need to find a way to work together, now."

So, they spent the next week trying to work together as they ran the Prince's errands and fought off Harrowmont's supporters. They ventured into the deep roads, took out a cartel, and did various other small tasks, all in the name of the Prince. Then he had asked them to venture into the deep roads in search of Branka, the dwarven paragon who disappeared two years ago. Alistair had insisted that he accompany her on this mission, but she refused to allow it.

"Look, Alistair, this is going to be extremely dangerous, and there's probably a good chance that once we go in there, we won't be coming back. It's probably not the best idea for both of us to go back there. One of us has to stay, to continue our mission should the worst happen." She looked up at him, "I'm expendable; if I don't return…" As soon as those words left her mouth, Alistair wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into a tight embrace. "No, listen, if I don't return in a month, you have to go on without me. You will have to finish what we started."

Alistair's fingers lightly brushed her lips, "You are not expendable. Fereldan needs you to be strong, to stop this Blight." He looked deep into her bright blue eyes. "I need you, and not just because you are an amazing leader and Warden. I need you because I love you, and I don't know what I would do if I ever lost you. Staying here, not knowing if you were okay, would be pure torture, worse than anything any darkspawn could do to me. Please, don't leave me."

Eriana lowered her head, unable to hold his gaze, and when she spoke, her voice was so weak, it was barely audible, "Alistair, I can't stay, and you can't go with me. It just wouldn't be smart for us both to go. Fereldan needs you; she needs a king. She doesn't need another elf, even one with tainted blood. Where would Fereldan be without you?"

He gently lifted her chin to look at her face again, "And where would I be without you?" She started to turn her face away, but for once, Alistair was quicker. He took her face in his hands and without a second thought, he began kissing her. She seemed hesitant at first, slow to respond to the touch of his lips, but after a few moments, he felt her arms move around his neck as she began to kiss him back. It was unlike any kiss they had ever shared before, more desperate and passionate than anything Alistair had ever experienced. Her mouth hungrily searched his as she pressed against him, her hands running through the short hair at the nape of his neck. Alistair moaned as he felt her body move against him; taking her by her narrow waist, he lifted her against him, all the while trailing kisses down her neck. He could feel her warm breath caressing his ear as he kissed along her collarbone. Then she whispered his name, and he was almost undone. Catching his own uneven breath and mustering all the Templar discipline he could, he broke away from her and set her on the ground. "Take me with you, please. Don't leave without me."

She leaned her head against his chest, her breathing still raggid, "I can't; one of us has to stay."

"Then you stay. At least I'd know you were safe," he said, running his hand up and down her arm.

"And risk your royal neck, no way. This is for the best; trust me."

Alistair was quiet for a moment, "Is this about him?"

He felt her tense up beneath his hands, but she didn't look up. "About who, Alistair?"

"Is this about Zevran? I know that there is something more between you two. Do you not trust me around him?"

Eriana swallowed and looked up at him, "No, Alistair, this isn't about Zevran. This is about you and the fact that there are only two of us in the whole country. Zevran has nothing to do with this; he is just my friend."

"No, Leliana is just a friend. There is something more between you and Zevran, whether you realize it or not. Everyone can see it; why can't you?" Eriana looked away, and Alistair's stomach dropped. He dropped his arms and stepped back from her. "Do you have feelings for him? Well?"

Eriana started fiddling with her ring on her left hand, "Do you really want to have this conversation now?"

"No, I don't want to ever have his conversation, but it's getting harder to ignore the obvious truth. You love him, don't you?" Alistair asked. Eriana shook her head vehemently. "But you do have feelings for him."

"Maybe, I don't know," she said, crossing her arms. "This is all very confusing, Alistair." She reached out to take his hand, but he stepped back, just out of her reach. "Look, now's not the time to talk about this anyway; I have to go."

"With him." Alistair pointed out.

"Yes, with him. We'll talk about this when I get back, okay." And with that, she was gone, and Alistair was left to pace the streets or Orzammar, alone, waiting for him to bring her back.

The deep roads were quiet as Eriana stood alone in the middle of a giant bridge that stretched across a deep, dark canyon. Dim light filtered down around her, barely penetrating the darkness of the underground lair. A horde of thousands of darkspawn that stretched as far as the eye could see moved beneath her, leaving the darkness of the dwarven realm, headed to the light of the surface. She smiled, breathing deeply as she listened to the soft sounds of their armor as they passed beneath her. Their violence, their, hate, and their desire to kill filled her, called to her. She felt drawn to them as water is drawn by the moon; she desired to be close to them, to feel their anger consume her.

Her footsteps echoed around her as she began to move slowly off the bridge, singing quietly to herself a strange rhyme that seemed to repeat in her memory, "First day, we come and catch everyone. Second day, we beat them and eat some for meat." She sighed as she stepped over the dead body of a familiar red-headed woman dressed in torn and bloody Chantry robes. "So lovely, she would have made an excellent mother too," Eriana mused quietly to herself.

She moved on through the empty underground city, still singing faintly. "Third day, the men are gnawed on again. Fourth day, they wait and fear for their fate. Fifth day, we return and it's another girl's turn." Another familiar face laid on the ground, another woman, this one with raven hair, a gnawed staff laying beside her. At the corners of her consciousness, Eriana felt a familiar sensation, darkspawn pressing close. They whispered to her, "Join us, sister, join us."

She smiled and continued walking into the blackness, "Sixth day, her screams they hear in their dreams. Seventh day, she grew as in her mouth we spew." Eriana licked her lips as she glanced around. The darkspawn surrounded her, but made no effort to attack her or seize her. They merely followed, and she found their presence oddly comforting. They talked to her, whispered to her, and though she couldn't always comprehend the words, the tenor and meaning, she understood clearly. "Eight day, they hated as she was violated. Ninth day, she grins and devours her kin," she sang with a macabre laugh as she sat down against the cave wall.

As Eriana sat there, two men approached her, looking up at her with looks of love and adoration. The tall one wearing shining armor held out his hands and spoke up in a strong clear voice, "Join us sister; join us in the shadows were we stand, ready to destroy. Join us as we carry the duty that cannot be denied. You shall not perish, for you have sacrificed yourself for our future, and one day the world will join you in the Blight."

The shorter man with long blond hair cocked his head as he looked up at her, his honey-colored eyes blazing. "Now does she feast," he crooned, "for she's become the beast."

Eriana reached for them, an unfamiliar hunger consuming her as she wrapped her tentacles lovingly around them. Slowly, she lifted them, ready to consume them. She paused for a moment looking down at them, "Now do I feast, as I've become the beast."

Then she heard a voice roaring in her ear, and suddenly, she was alone on the bridge again. Turning around, she saw a giant dragon hovering over her as a massive group of darkspawn descended on her, grabbing and pulling her away. "Leave me side and you will die, alone and forgotten; stay and you shall not perish but you will be remembered forever. Do your duty and give birth to my children." The pull of the taint was almost too alluring for her to resist. "Join us, Warden, and your death will not be in vain." She tried to scream, tried to run, tried to escape, but the sheer numbers were too overwhelming. She felt herself slowing being pulled away, deeper underground, and she began to scream.

She woke up scared and confused, trying desperately to catch her breath. Morrigan and Zevran were kneeling beside her trying to gently rouse her. Her hazy mind told her this was a good thing; it meant Morrigan was alive and she didn't eat Zevran. She was still gasping, and the hot, arid air burned her lungs with each desperate breath. Slowly, she became aware of the fact that Zevran had pulled her into his lap, her head resting against his chest as she fought to slow her breathing. Zevran's voice was purring in her ear, "Peace, mia cara, peace. I have you, my dear; you are safe. Just breathe, nice and slow." She tried to concentrate on his voice and her breathing. "That's right, cara, nice and slow. Breathe as I am, a long deep breath in, a slow breath out. That's my girl."

"Please," she whispered between breaths, "I need…outside…too hot."

She felt something cool and wet on her forehead as Zevran continued to comfort her. "Close your eyes, my dear, and focus on my breathing," he said as he held her against him. "Try to imagine we are leaving the gates of the city. Picture the clear, blue sky, no ceiling, no stone, just snow and sky and cool, crisp air. You step outside and look up into the clouds, nothing over your head, clean fresh air in your lungs."

"By the stone, will you be quiet; you're making me dizzy just thinking about it." Ogren mumbled, but Zevran ignored him.

As he spoke, he ran the wet rag over her face. "Feel the breeze on your face, cool and clean." Her breathing began to slow, her body relax. "Now look up and see the sun, feel its warmth on your face."

"No darkspawn?" she whispered.

"No darkspawn. You're safe now; just try to get some sleep."

"No," she said as she buried her head in Zevran's chest, "no, sleep. Not till we're out, away from those things. I can't handle any more nightmares." She looked up at him for a moment, "Will you stay with me? Please?"

Zevran lightly kissed her forehead as she seemed to settle into his arms, "Of course, dear Warden."

She sighed, relaxing in Zevran's comforting embrace. Eriana was completely exhausted; the two weeks they had spent in the deep roads had been grueling. The close proximity of the darkspawn had given her a constant headache, and she had been plagued by vivid nightmares that had gotten increasingly worse the deeper into the mines they traveled. The one she had that evening had been the worst so far, but then again, becoming a broodmother had been a reoccurring theme in her dreams since they had defeated one a few days ago. The memory of the broodmother haunted her waking moments as well as her dreams. That could very well be her fate one day. When her calling came and she was forced to enter the deep roads alone, she could become one of those things if the darkspawn managed to take her instead of killing her. The thought sent waves of nausea surging through her and made her feel dizzy all over again. She shivered involuntarily and felt Zevran's arms tighten around her, his lips on the top of her head. At least they were headed out of the claustrophobic and oppressive caves now. Maybe she would finally be able to get some sleep once the darkspawn and the stifling air of the caves were left behind. Zevran's presence had been her only source of comfort through this whole ordeal; she wasn't sure if she would have made it without him, especially in moments like this.

"Zev, thank you."

"Hum, thank you for what, Ana?" Zevran asked, looking down at her.

"For being here, for being you. I just don't know what I did to deserve you."

"Well, that's simple; you spared my life, so now I am eternally in your debt," he said stroking the hair that fell across her forehead.

"For what it's worth, I'm glad you tried to kill me," then she glanced up at him and grinned, getting lost in the amber of his eyes. She reached up and played with one of tendrils of blond hair that framed his face. "But I'm still glad you failed."

He leaned down, his face so close that she could feel his breath on her cheek, smell the leather of his armor, "As am I, Eriana. Deciding to kill you was the best mistake I ever made." He lightly stroked her face with his calloused hands, then he tilter her head up to his. His lips ghosted lightly over hers for a moment before he pulled her close for a deeper kiss. Eriana's head was spinning as her hands found their way into his long blond hair, her mouth open as his tongue lightly danced over hers. She savored the taste of his kiss, honey and spices. A heat seemed to grow in her stomach as one of his hands snaked down her back and rested on her hip, the other one cradled her neck. She couldn't help but notice how perfectly their bodies seemed to fit together, like they belonged together. In the dark of the deep roads, a new feeling began to grow in Eriana, a feeling as deep as the caverns themselves. Was she falling the him, for this man who once tried to kill her? She didn't know, and for a moment she didn't care. For a moment her world was only Zevran, the feel of his lips on hers, the strength of his arms around her, the smell of leather filling the air around her.

Slowly she pulled herself away, looking up at him. He stroked the side of her face, "Do you think you could get some sleep, mia cara?" When she shook her head, he amended, "You could sleep right here by me. I am a very light sleeper, a side effect of the job, so if you start to dream, I will wake you before it gets too bad, no?"

Eriana nodded, "That might work. Are you sure that you wouldn't mind?"

Zevran smiled and pulled her down onto his bedroll, "Of course not. Come, get some rest." Eriana settled in beside him, her head resting on his chest, listening to his breathing and the rhythmic beating of his heart. And for the first time in two weeks, Eriana managed to sleep, safely and comfortably in the arms of her assassin.

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