Morning light was just beginning to pour through the windows of Eriana's bedroom when Zevran woke up. He quietly stretched, trying to work the stiffness out of his neck and back. "These chairs are not meant to be slept in," Zevran thought to himself as he tried to massage a particularly sore knot out of his neck. When he had returned to Eriana's room the previous night, Zevran was ready to tell her everything, to explain his odd behavior, to calm her fears. However, when he saw her, sleeping there, her face red and tear stained, he hadn't had the heart to wake her, so he spent the night trying to sleep in the uncomfortable chair by her bedside, listening to her fitful sleeping. His heart sank as he looked over at her; he had rejected her and, in doing so, hurt her more than he had ever intended. Zevran didn't want to hurt her; he just wanted her to be happy, to be safe, to have all she ever wanted.

Eriana gave a slight sigh and began to stir, rolling on her side away from him. Zevran held his breath, unsure of what to expect from her when she woke up and saw him there. He had been dreading this all night, remembering how she had treated Alistair after he hurt her feelings. This was going to be so much worse, he feared. To his surprise, however, she didn't start yelling the instant she saw him sitting there. Her eyes quickly widened in surprise for a moment then quickly looked away.

"Good morning, Zevran," she said as she rubbed the sleep out of her eyes. He noticed that they were red and slightly puffy, clear evidence of a night spent crying; a pang of guilt shot through him. She glanced his way again, her expression completely neutral and unreadable, "I have to say, I'm surprised to see you here. I thought you made it abundantly clear that you would be spending the evening elsewhere."

Zevran cringed slightly; he deserved that. "Yes, well, I realized that too much was left unsaid last night, and I hoped to rectify that, but…"

"Zevran," she interrupted him, "now is not the time. I have a lot on my plate today, and it's simply too early to be having a conversation this serious."

Before he could say anything else, Eriana slipped out of the bed and disappeared into the washroom. Immediately, Zevran realized what was happening. She was still hurt, but she refused to let him see it. Damn her pride. He had seen it unleashed on Alistair when he first joined their party, and now it was turned on him. It was her one real weakness, her one true flaw. Once she was hurt, once her pride was bruised, she closed herself off and shut out those who hurt her. It had happened with Alistair, and it had taken them weeks to reconcile. And in that time, Zevran had swooped in and won her affections. Well, he wasn't about to risk that happening again; especially with Alistair's warning ringing in his ears. Quickly, Zevran donned his leather armor and waited for his Warden to return, resolved to tell her everything he was feeling. He was not going to risk losing her.

She soon emerged from the washroom, dressed in her drake scale armor, tugging on the laces of the bracer she wore on her left arm. Zevran quickly crossed the room and gently took her arm and began tightening the lacings of the leather piece of armor. As he held her arm, he looked up into her face, noting how she was carefully looking away. Carefully, he took her chin in his hand and turned her face towards his. "Can we talk?"

Eriana sighed, her eyes meeting his just briefly before she looked away again. "Yes, I guess we need to."

Zevran sighed. "Everything that has happened here recently, your escape from Drakon, Taliesin's death, well, it has forced me to reevaluate things in my life, particularily you…us."

Eriana turned her face away and took a deep breath. "I think I know where this is going," she said with a sigh. "You're probably right, too. It would probably be best for all of us if we just ended this now. I suppose there is too much else going on, and it would be best if we eliminated the distractions." She turned and started toward the door, "I'll just…I'll let you go, now."

Zevran moved quickly, closing the door, and pinning her against it in one fluid movement. "Is that what you want, to end things now?"

Tears started threatened to escape from Eriana's eyes as she kept her eyes fixed on the floor. "No," she said softly, almost whispering it, "but that's what you're suggesting, right? You reevaluated things, right, and decided that, we're…I'm not…" she sighed again and turned toward the door.

Zevran took her by the shoulders and turned her back toward him, "Is that what you think?" Eriana nodded, "Mia, cara, why would you think that?"

She looked up at him, confusion clearly showing on her face. "You moved out; you turned me down. How could I not think you wanted…I mean, you've never said no, ever. I thought that things had changed, that you had changed, that you didn't want me anymore."

Zevran captured her lips in his; he heard her sharp intake of breath and felt a small drop of water hit his chin. He pulled away and whipped the tears off her cheeks before running his hand down the side of her face. "Eriana, if anything, I want you too much, more than I could ever express with words. You are as radiant to me as Andraste herself was to the Maker, and nothing is ever going to change that, believe me. But seeing Taliesin again reminded me very clearly of what my life was like before, and it has forced me to examine what I feel for you. You must understand this, before this, before you, I was never truly allowed to feel sentiment or emotion of any type. As an assassin, I kept my heart cold in favor of the kill, never allowing anyone else in. The whores and Crows taught me well because until now, I have been able to simply take my pleasure where I could find them and merely enjoy life, nothing more. To expect more from the life I once lived would be reckless and foolish.

"I thought that things were that way between us, a pleasant diversion, nothing more, and though it is abundantly clear that we have been more than that for months now, I still managed to convince myself that we were merely enjoying life, capturing pleasure in the moment. After that day with Taliesin, I realized that I was just fooling myself."

Eriana's eyes remained locked on his as he spoke. She took a deep breath, "So, are you saying that you…that you love me?"

It was Zevran's turn to sigh, "Love…how could one such as I ever know anything about love?" Zevran, taking her head in his hands, looked deep into her eyes, "But that is exactly what I have been trying to figure out."

Eriana's eyes fell to the floor, and she shook her head. "That still doesn't explain why you left me last night, Zevran. If you're trying to decide how you feel about me, shouldn't you want to be with me?"

"Ah, my dear Warden, if it was only so simple, but being with you is such a distraction that I may never know how I truly feel. I want your body, that much is certain as the sun, and I desire your company, more than I have desired anything else in my life. I just want to make sure it's real. To me, sex and love have never necessarily gone together, so being with you in that way was very confusing all of a sudden. You mean more to me than anyone I have ever been with ever in my life; I just need to know how much more."

Eriana was quiet for a moment before she reached up to her ear and took out the diamond earring he had given her a few nights ago. Carefully she placed it into his hand. "I just don't feel right taking this, not right now, not while you're so confused about how you truly feel about me." She closed his hand around the jewelry. "Once you've figured out how you feel, you can give it back." She paused for a moment, fiddling with her ring, "if you still want to, of course."

"Eriana, this was a gift."

"I know, Zev, but I'd rather it be a token of affection." She sighed and turned toward the door, pausing just a moment to look back at him. "I won't push you again, Zevran. Take all the time and the space that you need. But, Zevran, I know how I feel." And with that she left him, holding the small diamond piece of jewelry in his hand, wondering if he was making the biggest mistake of his life.

The Gnawed Noble Tavern was very crowed as many of the noblemen from across Fereldan hand descended upon Denerim for the landsmeet. Eriana recognized most of them and had business to conduct with many of them, but there was only one person she wanted to speak to, Ignacio. She, along with Ogren, Sten, and Morrigan, had just dealt with a Crow issue with Howe's men (doesn't trouble with this guy ever end?) and Eriana wanted to meet with Ignacio one more time before he left to return to Antiva. Leliana was waiting for her at the bar with a very expensive bottle of port, securely sealed with the vineyard's wax embalm, a must when dealing with those who regularly poison each other.

Ignacio smiled and rose to greet Eriana as she entered the room, kissing her lightly on each cheek. Seeing the wine, he produced two classes and motioned for his guards to exit; Eriana nodded at Ogren and Sten to do the same, leaving the two assassins alone.

"Well, my dear, I am quite sorry to say, we have come to an end of our business. It has been a pleasant surprise and a pleasure working with one as talented as you, and I hope to work again with you once all this unpleasantness with the Blight has passed. It is truly a shame that the Wardens found you first; you would have made and excellent Crow."

Eriana smiled, "Well, I already have one job with a life sentence; I'm not so sure that I'm ready to jump into another."

"Such a strong spirit, so like your mother in so many ways."

"Like my mother?"

"Ah, yes," said Ignacio, taking a drink of the wine and nodding in approval, "you are very like your mother. I assume that is what you came to talk about, yes?" Eriana nodded, taking a cautious drink as well. "So, my dear, what would you like to know?"

"Did you kill my mother?"

"No, I was in Denerim at the time, recruiting and procuring new clientele at the time, but no, I had nothing to do with her death. I had a great deal of respect for her, your mother; she was a dear friend and associate one upon a time."

"So you worked with her?"

"Yes, we worked quite closely for some time; your mother was a very talented bard and assassin in her youth. We worked under the same master. She was used when we needed close access to high profile or wealthy targets. We would place her in the household staff as a maid, a nanny, a mistress, something like that, and she would pass along vital information to us. She was quiet cleaver at manipulating and seducing human nobles."

"So what happened? Braxton said that she was given a job she refused to do."

Ignacio sighed, "Ah, yes. Danella was asked to work in the estate of a wealthy duchess, but in her time there, she grew close to the woman and her children. She had a weak heart, your mother, and she began to sympathize with the noblewoman. She came to us, begging us to rescind the contract, but of course, we could not. Our master laughed in her face and told her to do her job or she would find herself on the receiving end of a Crow dagger. Danella seemed to agree and return to the job at hand, but a week later, she was gone. She cost the Crows a great deal of time and money when she left and angered a lot of people."

"But she was gone for so long, why couldn't you just let her go."

"Some of us did. I, for one, did nothing upon arriving in Denerim and finding her living in the squalor if the Alienage. As you say, twenty years is a long time to hold a grudge."

Eriana was confused, "So if you didn't, then who did?"

"A colleague of mine was visiting when he recognized her. As I said, she angered many people, leaving as she did, and some never gave up looking for her. When he saw her, he acted immediately; I was sad to see it. Your mother was a friend to me; I was glad she found some happiness, however short it may have lasted."

Ignacio took another drink before he glanced back at her. "I get the feeling, though, that you did not just come to talk about your mother, no? All this you must have learned already from your bartender friend. You are worried about the implications on you, on something…closer to home. You are worried about what will become of that whoreson of yours."

Eriana sighed and finished her glass of wine. "I really wish you wouldn't refer to him as that, but yes, I'm worried about what will happen with Zevran."

Ignacio leaned back in his chair and rubbed his chin, "Well, my dear, you have a few options, assuming that you are planning on staying with him. Your first option is trying to hide from the Crows, but to do that, of course, you would have to leave the Wardens. I suppose you could both get some tattoos and join the Dalish."

Eriana laughed, "Ignacio, please, could you imagine Zevran living in the woods with the Dalish? He is far too accustomed to the pleasantries of the city, and if I have to say, so am I."

Ignacio chucked, "Well, you could move to Orlais and hide in Val Royeaus or work as mercenaries in the Free Marches, but both of those options would bring you in contact with both Wardens and Crows. If you agree to adopt the Quin, you could live quite well among the quinari in Sheron."

"None of those sound all that appealing, and I doubt I could leave the Wardens any time soon. In a way, it's like the Crows; you can't just walk away from the Wardens. What other options would we have?"

"Then you fight them off until they stop coming," Ignacio said with a wave of his hand.

Eriana was surprised. "Would they ever really stop?"

Ignacio shrugged, "If you kill enough of us, perhaps; there are not an unlimited supply of Crows after all. If you hold out long enough, the powers that be might get wise and stop sending people after you. Of course, there would always be the risk of a rogue Crow, one with a desire to prove himself by killing you, but if you can withstand the initial onslaught, you may just survive this."

"It only takes one, though."

Ignacio shrugged, "True, it only takes one. For my part, however, I hope you make it through this. Fereldan is far too interesting with you in it; it would be a shame to lose one as interesting as you over something or someone insignificant."

Eriana shrugged, "This whole discussion may just be a moot point anyway. I might just be fixating on a future that doesn't even exist."

Ignacio raised a questioning eyebrow at her. "Trouble between you two?" Eriana explained the situation to him, and to her surprise, Ignacio started laughing. "Ah, to be young again. Your Zevran is over thinking things far too much, but he will learn, of that, I am certain. I have seen enough of him to know how he truly feels, and I don't think there is anything that should concern you." He gave took her hands and gave them a quick kiss, "Just make sure you don't get yourself killed by any giant dragons while I'm off in Antiva. It would be a shame to lose an ally such as you."

Eriana smiled and thanked the assassin; deep down inside, she hoped he knew what he was talking about.

Zevran hated being left behind, especially when Eriana was doing anything that put her in contact with the Crows, but, despite his protests, he had stayed behind as she left to complete one final job for Ignacio. Her reasoning had been solid; there would be other Crows at the job, and it would be best for both of them if he didn't broadcast their companionship by fighting at her side. It didn't make watching her leave any easier. The fact that she had left without a word or so much as a nod didn't help either. Their conversation earlier that morning hadn't helped at all; if anything, it seemed to have made things worse. It had taken him a while, but he had finally figured out why. Before his confession of maybe I love you, maybe I don't, Eriana could have believed whatever she wanted about their relationship. Now, however, the ambiguity of Zevran's feelings were now crystal clear, and the fact that, after all this time, he still didn't know how he felt must have been hard for her to handle.

He sighed was about to turn his attention back to the poison-making supplies that were scattered on the table in front of him when Eriana walked in, flanked by Ogren and Sten. She plopped down on the couch, still clad in her drake scale armor and started massaging her temples.

"Rough day, my Warden?" Zevran tentatively asked.

"Hum, oh, no, everything went just fine. I've just got a lot on my mind, and it's giving me a bit of a headache, that's all."

"You carry your tension in your shoulders, Kadan," Sten offered as he helped himself to the plate of cookies. "Some hot water should help to relax that."

Zevran wondered how she would react if he was to get up and offer to work the knots out of her neck. As he was about to offer, Alistair entered the room and asked to speak with Eriana, Warden business, he claimed. The two wardens made their way to one of the corners of the room and began talking softly. The conversation looked tense for a moment until Eriana said something that made Alistair blush then give her a light, playful shove as they both laughed. Zevran watched the two talk from his periphery, a familiar, bitter feeling welling up in him. Suddenly, Eriana patted Alistair's chest, and he pulled her into a friendly hug. It was all plutonic; Zevran was sure of it, but that didn't make it any easier to see. Deep down, he realized that he deserved this; that it was all his fault, but that didn't stop the bitter feeling of envy from creeping up in his chest upon seeing Alistair with his arms around his Warden. As the two broke the embrace, Alistair said something else, and they both glanced over at him. Zevran saw Eriana shrug and shake her head as she looked back at the templar. "If he touches her again," Zevran thought to himself, "I might just render this landsmeet pointless."

"Oh, good, you're both here," a soft voice sang from the doorway. Zevran had never been so glad to see Anora in his life because her appearance instantly produced a gap between the two Wardens.

"Your Majesty," Eriana, always the professional, coolly replied. "It is an honor to see you this evening. I trust you have news on the alienage."

"Indeed, I do. Not only that, I will be able to provide you access to the Ailenage itself. I do hope you can find something useful in there. It has been in a terrible state for months now, ever since that elf killed the Arl's son." Zevran glanced at Eriana at these words as the color started to drain from her face. "But it seems a plague of some type has settled them down. The whole place had to be shut down and quarantined. Thank the Maker, it has remained isolated in the Ailenage, so no one else has gotten sick."

Eriana's face was completely white, but her voice was surprisingly strong and cold. "Yes, thank the Maker for that. We wouldn't want anyone of importance falling ill."

Anora smiled grimly at the snide comment, but chose to ignore it. Instead she placed the sealed documents on the desk beside the doorway. "Just show this to the guard, and he should permit four of you to enter. I do hope you find something helpful in there; it would be a shame for you to waste your time on nothing." And with that, she turned and sauntered out of the room.

Only then did Eriana allow any weakness to show. As soon as Anora was out of the room, Eriana swayed a bit before she began to collapse, taking deep, frantic breaths. Zevran was glad Alistair was close enough to her to catch her in his arms before she sank to the ground.

"No, please, Maker, no," she whispered to herself as Ogren moved to her side, handing her his flask. She closed her eyes and took a long drink of the dwarf's and got back on her feet. Ghe glanced up at Alistair. "We have to go tomorrow, Alistair, we have to see…"

Alistair pulled her into a quick hug. "Don't worry; I'm sure everything will be okay."

"How could you know that? People are dying, Alistair. My people are dying!"

"I know, I know, and we will do something about it."

"Okay, tomorrow. I just hope my family…" she shuddered, and couldn't finish her thought. Eriana shot Zevran a sad, desperate look before she retreated quickly from the room. He desperately wanted to go after her, to comfort her and assure her that everything was going to be alight, but something told him that his presence would be more harmful than his absence because he was not yet ready to tell her what she needed to hear. So for the second time that day, he let her go.

Reviews and reviewers are loved and welcomed! The ailenage is coming up next.