A/N: Impatient author is impatient. I waited a few hours before just going, "screw it," and now I'm just gonna post the whole story here. Lucky you!
Shawn stood on the Guster's porch for a second, feeling the weight of his backpack on his shoulders. He wasn't sure if he could go inside – it would be like admitting that without his dad and a friend, he was all alone. Gus was here, but Shawn knew that people could leave you in a blink of an eye. He'd experienced it more times than he wished to recount.
After a moment, Shawn knocked on the door, sensing its inhabitants go silent at their new visitor. He heard a shuffle of footsteps and the door opened, Gus behind it. "Hey, Shawn," Gus said softly. "My mom said you can stay here as long as you need." Shawn felt touched by the sentiment considering how Mrs. G never had seemed to like him much. He smiled and went inside.
The two friends went upstairs, their feet pounding on the steps as they had done ever since Gus first brought him to his house. Back then the house had seemed new and different, but by now it was like a second home to Shawn. He nodded at Mr. G as he passed him on his way to Gus' room, but didn't stick around to hear his sympathies.
Gus pulled the door softly shut behind him and sat down at his usual spot on the bed, while Shawn ignored the open beanbag chair and stood against the wall. Not bothering to put it down gently, Shawn threw his backpack down on the floor, deciding not to open it now.
For awhile there really wasn't anything to say. Shawn knew Gus was trying to read him now, but he wasn't sure what his friend saw on his face. Right now he just felt weary, and his heart felt heavy. Shawn looked at the clock on Gus' bedside table and was surprised to see it was only 5:30. It had only been a half an hour since he heard the news (his dad was dead…he just wouldn't think about it, he didn't need to), but it had felt like a painful eternity. Shawn still felt like this couldn't be real, like he was about to wake up any time now.
At last, Gus broke the silence. "Want to play Nintendo?"
Shawn was startled by the question that on any other day would have been normal, but today felt strange. Strange, but welcome. Gus was inviting him into normalcy, something Shawn realized he craved more than anything right now. Shawn nodded, and sat down next to the console.
For the next two hours, they didn't talk about death or inheritance or the future. They played the video game, goading each other on and shoving each other as the cheating began. At first Shawn felt bad feeling happy about something, but as soon as he gave into the game he was grinning, like it was just any other day and his dad was waiting for him at home with dinner. Mrs. G usually never let them play this long, but they knew she was making an exception tonight. Shawn pressed buttons rapidly, flailing as he tried to obscure Gus' focus and take advantage of any weakness. Gus was just as brutal back, even tackling Shawn to the ground at one point when Shawn won the round by covering Gus' eyes with his hands.
It was normal and it felt good, even if it would only be for a short while.
Eventually, Gus threw his hands up and shook his head. "No way am I playing with you anymore."
Shawn, breathing hard from all of his attempts at cheating, fell onto the ground. "Aha! You admit defeat. You finally learned you just can't beat me, right, buddy?"
"No way!" Gus said leaning against his bed. "I was about to beat you until you cheated! I'm not going to play with you if you keep covering the screen with your hand."
Shawn nodded. "Suuuuure, Gus, just keep telling yourself that. In the meantime, I'll be right here basking in my own glory," he said grinning and resting his head on the beanbag chair. It was abruptly pulled out from under him, and Shawn's head hit the floor. He winced, then sighed. "I may have deserved that."
"You know that's right," Gus said smirking.
Shawn grinned and adjusted himself so he was sitting on the beanbag chair. The last few hours had been like a break from reality, something he always loved. He had just gotten to be normal instead of being a kid without a dad. His smile slowly slipped off his face as his thoughts turned back to his dad.
Gus could tell from Shawn's expression what he was thinking about, and decided it would be best not to question him about it. Shawn never did like talking about his feelings, and making him talk about them was definitely not what Shawn wanted.
Shawn sat in thought for a while, unconsciously rubbing his hand through his hair. "Remember when we were scouts and my dad had us fly that rocket?"
Gus was surprised by the randomness of the question, but nodded. "Whoever got to it last had to watch the other eat ice cream," he remembered smiling. The memory was clear in both of their minds, as was many of the memories they shared with each other that featured a Henry life lesson.
"You took that rocket home," Shawn said, fiddling with the broken threads on the beanbag chair. "Do you still have it?"
Gus thought for a moment and shrugged. "Yeah, I think so. It's probably in the garage, in a box somewhere."
Shawn hummed in thought for a moment before nodding decidedly. "Well, let's go get a rocket then!"
Before Gus could think to question Shawn, his friend was already out the door, waiting for him to follow. Gus, feeling more than a little concerned for Shawn, once again allowed himself to be pulled into his friend's plans.
/
Shawn flipped the light switch in the garage and the small bulb hanging from the ceiling flickered on. Illuminated was the Guster's two cars, and behind them shelves of boxes.
Gus came into the garage to find Shawn wedged between the cars and the walls, trying to pry a box loose from its moorings. Gus was almost worried that the other boxes would fall on him, and felt a bit of relief when Shawn finally freed the box. Shawn carried it to him, a large old box simply labeled, "Gus."
After giving each other a look, Gus ripped the box open, wrinkling his nose at the amount of dust that was aroused. Shawn grinned. "Hope you don't have the plague in these," he laughed, browsing through the contents in the container.
The majority of the box housed old comic books of Gus' that he had forgotten about. There was a yo-yo in there from third grade as well. Not surprisingly, there was also a good deal of Shawn's things in there that had been begged, borrowed, or stolen. Shawn was amused to find his bike's tire in there, the only evidence besides the scar on Shawn's wrist of the Unicycle Incident.
After digging through the old objects for awhile, Shawn saw a flash of yellow, and grabbed the rocket from the bottom of the box.
He held it up for Gus to see, and they felt like treasure hunters, stumbling upon an ancient artifact. The once bright yellow rocket was dusty, and the paint was peeling. The nose was slightly bent from its multiple flights, and one of the wings had completely fallen off. The two then remembered why the Shawn and Gus Blaster (or Gus and Shawn Blaster depending on whom you asked) had been retired.
Shawn sat down on the floor, staring at the rocket in fascination, while Gus crouched down near him. Gus wasn't quite sure why Shawn had wanted the old rocket, or if Shawn even knew.
Shawn remembered seeing the rocket first take off after his father had set it up, with the promise of ice cream for the victor.
Shawn shook his head and smiled. "He was going to give the winner ice cream. And the loser had to watch the other eat it."
"He was always obsessed with results," Shawn sighed. "He always wanted me to be the best, and when I wasn't I was a disappointment. Hell, even when I was a winner I was a disappointment," he muttered, barely realizing he was saying it all aloud.
"He loved you, Shawn, winner or not," Gus interrupted. He knew it was true, and Shawn had to know it was true. If Shawn could tell by the soles of a man's boots that they cheated, then he had to know that his dad was proud of him.
"Did he say that?" Shawn asked, unconsciously mimicking his younger self only a short while after they flew the rocket.
Gus sighed. "He's your dad, Shawn. He didn't need to say it."
"Yeah, well I sure as hell wouldn't have minded hearing it," he said kicking the box. "As soon as I told him I wasn't going to enroll in the police academy, I was just a big disappointment."
Gus frowned, hating to see his friend this upset. But he sat silent; knowing the best thing to do when Shawn ranted about his dad was not to argue.
Shawn remembered his father making them watch him eat ice cream when they were finished with the rocket. He had loathed him them, for committing one of the most serious crimes an adult could make: withholding ice cream. Just another example of how his father had wanted results, results, results, just God damn results. Shawn threw the rocket to the ground, watching the wing come off a little as it hit the ground. He immediately felt remorseful and picked the rocket back up.
As much as he hated his dad, he couldn't help but feel special when his father looked proud of him. The occasions, though sometimes rare, made Shawn feel like he could do anything. Though Shawn knew his dad wanted him in the police academy, he felt like he could do so much more than that, like he could go to the moon in that yellow rocket if he tried.
Shawn wasn't sure if you could rightfully hate a man once he was dead, but right now he loathed his father. But he also loved him. This would be a lot easier if I could just pick one, Shawn thought. He sat down next to Gus and held the rocket carefully in his hands.
"We had a lot of fun, didn't we?" Shawn said twirling the rocket in his hands. Gus nodded. "He was the best scout leader we ever had."
"He was the only scout leader we ever had," Shawn said rolling his eyes.
Gus shrugged. "Still, a great scout leader. And he was fun sometimes, you know? When you guys weren't…arguing," Gus said, regretting his last sentence as it came out of his mouth. Shawn only nodded though.
"We fought a lot," Shawn said simply. "Most of the time it didn't even seem to be about anything. We just fought."
Gus listened; realizing this was the most Shawn had talked about his dad ever. They both knew that what happened in the garage would stay in the garage, and for that Shawn was grateful.
Shawn didn't say that much more after that. He took his ramblings inside his head, wondering if the rocket was a sign of his hate for his father, or for his love. Or somehow both rolled into one. After a few minutes, he didn't have the slightest clue.
"Gus?" Shawn said after a long moment's thought.
Gus straightened up. "Yeah?" he asked.
"You'll…come to the funeral with me, right?" Shawn asked, still staring at the rocket.
Gus immediately nodded. "Of course I'll be there. He was important to me too," Gus said, and the news of Henry's death hit him then. He felt a sudden sadness, both for his friend and his father.
Shawn nodded. The news of his dad's death wasn't starting to ache a little less, like wounds usually do after a little while. Instead Shawn's thoughts seemed to be in even more turmoil, and every one of them seemed to be centered around his dad. It hurt, and Shawn instinctively pushed his emotions down.
"Thanks buddy," Shawn said gratefully. He looked at the rocket one last time before setting it back down in the box. "Come on; let's go play some more Nintendo before dinner's ready."