Chapter 3 : Luke

It was the perfect late October day in Oakdale. The leaves were just past their peak and beginning to migrate to the ground. There was a chill in the morning air, but you knew the late afternoon sun would still be warm. It was the kind of day to start out with a sweater, strip down to a T-shirt, only to don the sweater again once the sun went down.

Luke took a deep breath as he left the hospital. It was a brisk 5 blocks to his office and he figured it couldn't hurt to clear his head. As young as he was, Luke had learned to compartmentalize his life. There were his responsibilities running Grimaldi Shipping, his personal foundation, the Memorial Hospital Board, and now The Snyder Pavilion. Luke knew people were watching him. He was a 23 year old college drop out in charge of more than most 50 year old MBA's'. He knew people doubted he could handle it all. Particularly now, since his personal life had crossed over into his professional life.

Bob Hughes had warned Luke and Reid that the scrutiny they'd be under would be intense and not everyone would be accepting of their relationship. They had tried to stay under the radar, but once Reid had saved Chris Hughes' life, by hijacking that heart from Bay City - under the radar pretty much flew out the window. And, anyone who had been left in doubt, couldn't say that, after witnessing Luke and Dr. Oliver's passionate embrace, not to long after Reid hand delivered the cooler with the heart to Dr. Dixon. Which, was also why Luke had been so frustrated with Reid this morning. When you live your life 'out loud' the reverberations always seemed to spread out, just like the ripples when Luke skipped stones in Snyder Pond...

If only Luke could chuck it all and go play hookie at the farm. People always talk about finding a touchstone to the essence of "who they are". All Luke knew was that the best part of growing up "Luke Snyder" had always been The Farm. And, Fall had always been his favorite season, because it was always the busiest.

First came the mowing. It amused Luke when his friends commented on the 'giant rolls' of hay sitting in the fields. In their defense, he realized most of them had only seen hay in bales stacked up like building blocks at the local Pumpkin Patch. You had to have grown up around a farm to realize all the steps between the growing, mowing, and the decorative Scarecrow your neighbors put out for Halloween.

And, there were the orchards. Every spring the apple trees would bud in deep pink and then fade into a profusion of blooms of glorious white. To the casual observer it was breathtaking, but to those who knew, it was a roller coaster ride, with Mother Nature in control. Did it warm up to fast in March? Are we going to have a late frost in April? How much rain is too much rain in the spring? All the people who trekked out to the country in the fall, so that they could say that they had " hand picked their apple pie", didn't have a clue.

But, Luke wouldn't have traded it for the world. This was the time of year Grandma Emma's kitchen always smelled like heaven. Cinnamon, cloves, ginger and allspice; she was busy baking pies and cobblers to freeze for the winter. Pickling the last of the green tomatoes from the garden and gathering persimmons to make those cookies Reid could never get enough of. But, to Luke's mind the best was always making Crab Apple Jelly. For most of the world, crab apple trees had become ornamental, but in the mid-west, you could still harvest the fruit and make the most amazing jelly. Grandma Emma insisted that they do it all the "old fashioned" way; boiling the fruit, running it through the food mill, straining the juice, and adding a cup of sugar for each cup of juice. Bring it all back to a boil and pour it into the jelly jars, but only after they had been sterilized and a metal teaspoon placed in them, so the glass wouldn't break from the hot liquid. Crab apples had enough pectin so you didn't need to add any to make the jelly set. You just needed to cover the top with paraffin and then put the lid on after the wax had hardened. Every jar carried the label "Made for You by Emma Snyder" and every one was lovingly received by Emma's fans and relatives.

Who knew that making jelly could be so magical? But that was the perfect part of his childhood. The memories he called on for comfort. The memories he always wished he could "re-live". The ones that made him feel normal... Normal, what was normal? Certainly, not the life he'd grown up with. Luke Snyder considered himself "the poster boy" for dysfunctional families. His mother, Lily, and father, Holden, couldn't decide whether they could live with or without each other. It was like growing up with the Push-Me-Pull-Me from Dr. Dolittle. And, that didn't even take into account his "real" father Damien, which was an entirely different story in itself.

Needless to say, living his own life hadn't been any less dramatic. That's the thing about dysfunction, it tends to be genetic. Luke was a recovering alcoholic. He had learned/lived all the jargon. Addiction, dependency, co-dependency. Mix all that up with coming to terms with your sexuality and then falling in love with some one who wasn't really emotionally available. It was a f-d up mess. Luke and Noah's relationship had been like a bad gay version of the Lily/Holden story. Which is probably why to Luke it had seemed so normal. Noah had pushed him away so many times and like the proverbial bad penny, Luke just came back for more... If I jump higher, try harder, I just know you'll love me as much as I love you. For Luke and Noah it had all gone horribly wrong with Noah's accident, which of course Noah held Luke responsible for, and Luke willingly took the blame.

For Luke, blackmailing Dr. Oliver to come to Oakdale, and restore Noah's sight, was just one more hoop he needed to jump through to prove his undying love. It was his fault, so he would go to the ends of the earth to make sure that Noah could see again. In that way Luke was a lot like his mother Lily. Under her domineering mother, Lucinda, Lily knew she wasn't good enough, and had spent most of her life trying to win her mother's approval, and hence hopefully her love. Like a hamster on a wheel, you knew you were going in circles, but you couldn't get off, because then that meant you had failed.

And then, just when things had seemed most out of control, Luke's world had turned, without his even knowing it. Who would have thought some pampas ass neuro surgeon would be the one to push Luke Snyder's world back on it's axis and help him find his center of gravity. Which is why, as he opened the door to Grimaldi Shipping, Luke knew he wouldn't be playing hookie today...

There were too many things to do...

To many people to see...

And Luke realized he was loving every minute of it.

Suddenly, Luke Snyder's life had become full of purpose.

A/N OK, who knows about this chapter. It's been three weeks and I've rewritten it three times. Tonight, with the help of a few glasses of wine, I sat down and just pulled bits and pieces together from all these hand written pages. There isn't any dialog, just stream of conscience thru Luke's mind. Forgive my foray into the jelly making, but I use to help my grandfather make his... Please review!