To My Readers; well, here you go.
Review Replies;
Cartooniac55: Did you watch the Weekenders? That was Tino Tontini. Thanks for reading!
unknown20troper: I understand completely. XD I don't think Norm would never be that evil, though! Thanks for the review.
Movie-Brat: I have some ideas, but I don't want to reveal everything. Thanks for reviewing!
Zim'sMostLoyalServant: I've never heard of the Necronomicon, I'm afraid. :\ As per Mass Effect - play it. Dear god, play it now. It is awesome. Anyway, thanks very much.
08/10/10 – A CHALL…wait, that was last week.
The review room was quiet, save for Squidward sitting at a chair with his arms crossed.
"You people may be wondering where the regular bozos are," he began, "They're downtown fighting a witch, and will be back next week. Until then, I have to keep you informed of the ongoing challenge."
He gave a heavy sigh, and opened an envelope.
"Today's word is 'Control.' I don't know why, I think he just picks them randomly from the dictionary," shrugged Squidward, "He'd also like to ask that you PM him if you post a new entry – otherwise he'll forget to check the main site again and obsessively post in the forums."
He rolled his eyes.
"But, since this is only six paragraphs long, and you'll probably want something a little meatier, here's a little critique of another of E350's old shames," he grinned, nastily, "This is the Nickdale Tales Episode Two: Pizza and Stuff. Enjoy."
Episode Two: Pizza and Stuff (That title just fills me with hope.)
The next day (In cast anyone's wondering, yesterday they were fighting giant blue aliens in a cave.) was bright, sunny and calm. (Oh, joy.) All was peaceful across the city of Nickdale. People just stopped in the street feeling glad to be alive. (I'd be glad to be alive if I wasn't reading this.)
Then all of this peace was shattered by an alien fighting two strange bucktoothed people.
Timmy and Spongebob ran down the street, Ewdard (Yes, that's his real name.) following close behind. People turned and stared as Ewdard slammed down the road.
"Hey Bill," mused a cop, "You think that's an alien?"
"Ptth, no," another replied. (What else could it be? An escaped lion? Morons.)
Timmy turned around and fired stars at his opponent (with what?), but he dodged and continued to chase.
"Great," sighed Timmy, "Now he knows our moves." (Note the dramatic monotone.)
The two turned a corner. There, at the start of this street, stood the pizzeria Shirley owned. Ewdard rounded the bend and sniffed.
Then he started grinning like a maniac. (Are you sure it's a pizzeria?)
"Pizza," he murmured.
Ewdard walked slowly over to the door and entered. Timmy and Spongebob stared as loud noises exploded from inside. They sounded like…gorging.
"They're addicted to pizza?" Timmy quizzed. (Maybe it's Kryptonite pizza. Hah…get it…you know…Superman...yeah.)
Ewdard walked happily out of the pizzeria, looking very pleased. He giggled insanely as he walked back in the direction of the Caves.
"Wow," Spongebob gasped, "Not even they can resist pizza!" (If anyone sings 'Krusty Krab Pizza', I swear…)
"We'd better tell the others," Timmy noted, "But first…gimme five!"
The two high-fived before walking in the direction of Jimmy's house.
High above them, utilizing a jet pack, a hunch-backed man watched the two walk towards Jimmy's Lab. (Oh, how convenient.)
"You think you can stop us, eh, Turner?" Crocker scoffed, "Well, I have the upper hand! Once I use this Alien technology to get you in my grasp, I will remove from your clammy dead hands…FAIRY GOD PARENTS!"
He began to spasm uncontrollably and ran into a billboard.
Timmy and Spongebob arrived at Jimmy's house to find it in a mess.
"Jimmy!" Timmy called, walking up the stairs, "What the heck happened?"
He climbed over mess and craters until he reached his room, finding Hugh sprawled in the corner.
"Oh, hey Timmy," he said dizzily, "Jimbo's not here right now, his friend wanted him to come out." (I'd say that kind of stupidity surprises me, but it really doesn't.)
"Which friend?" Timmy asked, confused.
"The one with the weird back," replied Hugh. (Wow. Great Dialogue. I am moved. End sarcasm.)
"AAHHHHH!"
Timmy darted back down stairs, Hugh following groggily behind. Spongebob was being dragged out the door by none other then the insane teacher, Denzel Crocker. (Yes, we know.)
"Oh yeah, it was that friend!" Hugh noted.
"Ah, Turner," Crocker taunted, "I was wondering when you'd turn up. If you ever want to see your friends again, meet me tomorrow afternoon at the Dimmadome…and bring your FAIRIES with you!" (Since when did Crocker hold people to ransom?)
"I just love it when he does that," laughed Hugh.
"NOOOO!" Spongebob yelled as Crocker dragged him away. (You want a laugh? Imagine that 'no' sounding like Darth Vader's in Star Wars III.)
"So you want us to dress up as fairies and go with you to the Dimmadome?" AJ asked. (Worst Gilligan Cut Ever.)
"I need help to distract Crocker," Timmy replied, "Besides, it's not like fairies are real or anything…nah, just…just the holograms…yeah." (I can see how he's kept his fairies for so long.)
Chester and AJ glanced at each other. They were in the cafeteria, and Timmy had just explained his predicament.
"I don't get it," AJ mused, "If Crocker's helping these Aliens, why don't you tell the cops?"
"Do you think they'll believe us?" (Yes.)
"No."
"Exactly." (Exactly against all logic, that is.)
"What's in it for us?" asked Chester, eyebrow raised.
"Maybe you could do this out of the goodness of your hearts?" Timmy suggested. (Ha-ha, no.)
There was a short silence.
"Fine, you get fifty bucks," Timmy sighed.
"Apiece?"
"Don't push it."
"What's the hold up?" Timmy demanded.
He was standing outside the bathrooms at the Dimmadome, waiting for his friends.
"We feel stupid," Chester called. (Well, you ripped off a gag from my show. Good work, you sad twit.)
"Fine, don't get fifty bucks!"
The door opened. Chester and AJ walked out of the toilet, blushing. They had (rather obviously) fake wings on and a crown suspended by a very visible piece of wire.
"Right, let's go through the plan," Timmy stated, "Cosmo, Wanda and I…"
"Who are holograms," stated Wanda, disguised as the Starflinger. (Just making sure that gag is stale enough.)
"…go down to the stadium bit and find Crocker. You guys start running around, Crocker chases you, I free the others, we kick Crocker's butt, and then we go home. Got it?" (What happens if they get caught? See, it only took me two seconds to find a flaw in that.)
"Got it!" Chester and AJ replied.
Timmy nodded and went ahead. Ominous music started playing as he walked onto the oval…towards his nemesis. (That was a useless ellipses.)
"Well, Turner, I'm glad you showed up," Crocker sneered, "Where are you FAIRIES?"
"Right here," Timmy replied, "Now guys!"
Chester and AJ ran onto the field, jumping about (and still blushing).
"Hi, um, we're fairies, and stuff…" Chester sung, out of tune.
"Now start chasing us to rip off our…lungs," AJ sang.
"Timmy we're gonna kill you on Monday!" they both finished. (I bet it took you years to master such prose.)
"I never said you had to sing," Timmy pointed out.
"FAIRIES?" Crocker spasm-questioned, "But they're students from my class. Unless my class has been infiltrated by FAIRY GOD PARENTS!" (Or maybe you're just momentarily stupid. That works too.)
Crocker laughed as he began to run.
"YES, YES! BWHAHAHA! BWHAHAHA! AT LAST!" (I'm surprised he hasn't lost his voice from all this screaming.)
Chester and AJ screamed as they ran for it. Timmy shook his head, as he found a trapdoor in the middle of the oval.
"You don't think you can win that easy, do ya?" a voice asked.
Timmy gasped as he turned to face a second enemy. (It was…the author.)
"Doug Dimmadome?" he exclaimed. (No, it's Doug Walker.)
"That's right, Doug Dimmadome!" Doug replied, "Owner of the Dimmadome, Multi-millionaire and Guy who's gettin' paid to help this weirdo!" (Why would you need to be paid by a working class teacher who lives with his mom if you're a multi-millionaire?)
"Well," sighed Timmy, bringing out Cosmo's Cosmo Hammer (by Cosmo), "At least you shouldn't be that hard to beat."
"Wanna bet?" asked Doug, lifting up his overcoat, "My belt's black for a reason!"
The hammer whacked Doug over the head.
"What reason?" Timmy taunted.
"Uh…" Doug dizzily shook his head, "I'm a professional milk shooter!" (Oh yes. They have black-belts in 'Milk Shooting.' Ho ho ho.)
Doug brought out two water pistols, full of milk.
"By milk, I mean goat milk," Doug added, evilly.
"THE HORROR!" Cosmo yelled.
"Bring it on," Timmy replied grimly, bringing out Wanda's Starflinger. (Is this supposed to be funny?)
The wind blew, and a tumbleweed blew past. The two stood in duel positions, ready to fire.
"Three…" Doug stated.
"Two…" added Timmy.
"One…" Doug growled.
"DRAW!"
Timmy and Doug fired simultaneously. Two of Timmy's stars made contact with Doug's milk squirts, blocking them off. The third star hit Doug in the chest, knocking him backwards. (That was anti-climactic.)
"I'll get you yet…Turner!" Doug gagged, falling to the ground and closing his eyes.
Timmy walked over to him.
"Oh my gosh," he gasped, poking him, "Is he…" (Sadly, no.)
"Geddof! Doug Dimmadome ain't dead yet!" yelled Doug, before fainting again.
Crocker, meanwhile, was still chasing Chester and AJ.
"Blast your youthful agility!" he yelled.
"Hey, Crocker!"
Crocker turned around.
"Turner? What is it now? I'm bust trying to capture these fa-" (I hope that 'fa' isn't leading to what I think it is.)
Crocker's eyes glanced around. Timmy was now joined by Jimmy, Danny, Spongebob, Arnold and Tommy. (How did he get them out again?)
"About that whole 'kidnapping' thing," Jimmy smirked, "We'd kinda like payback."
Crocker looked around, finding his fairy hunting gear and the Alien technology…behind his enemies. (Then go around them.)
"Oh…poopie."
"DRAW!" Timmy yelled again. (Yes, attack a defenceless man. Our heroes.)
Timmy fired the Starflinger. Jimmy fired the Tornado Blaster. Danny used an ectoplasmic beam. Spongebob fired a guided bubble. Tommy used his camera-laser. And Arnold hit a ball at him using his bat. (Those should not all be individual sentences.)
Crocker was hit hard. Screaming, he grabbed Doug and began to run.
"Stop him!" Jimmy yelled.
"Nah, let him go," Timmy chuckled.
"WHAT?" demanded Danny, "Why?"
"There's a slice of pizza stuck in Doug Dimmadome's back pocket," Timmy shrugged.
Then he finally told Jimmy of the Alien weakness. (Jimmy proceeded to ask him what he was on, and if he could have some.)
Danny was walking home, satisfied. He wondered how he'd explain away his absence, but according to Timmy, Tucker had him covered. (Oh, yeah, Tucker will just casually explain him being missing for twenty-four hours.)
Great, he thought, now we know a weakness. Maybe this day will end well after…
"I AM THE BOX GHOST!" a voice yelled from the skies.
"Aw, great," Danny sighed, "I'm Going Ghost."
The rings crisscrossed his body as he turned from Danny Fenton to Danny Phantom. He jumped into the air and flew out to meet his least threatening adversary. (If it's not threatening, why did you try to make it dramatic?)
Little did he know, this would do no ordinary fight with the Box Ghost. (There should be an ellipsis here. You fail.)