Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
A.N.: Thank you to Mrs. Elizabeth Gibbs, Twilight Trekky, KSBP, MissJayne, YourFavoriteLabPartnerEver and babyred1995 for reviewing!
Gibbs sat at his desk, checking the time and watching the elevator, waiting for Ducky to come and meet him. When he had called him after seeing Jenny, the good doctor had just been leaving her house, having been told to find the door and walk through it. Those hadn't been her exact words of course, she had said it politely because Jenny wasn't that abrasive; she was too eloquent to be. Ducky had agreed that they needed to talk and told him he would meet him back here at NCIS to speak about her, but so far he hadn't shown up. Gibbs sighed and looked at the time on his computer, growing more and more impatient. Perhaps he's waiting for me in autopsy? He thought, well it wouldn't hurt to go and have a look.
Jethro pulled out his phone and dialled Ducky, hoping he would pick up and tell him where he was, but instead of ringing, he got the answer phone. Gibbs ended the call and sighed again, his battery must have run flat or something. Gibbs stood up and tucked his phone in his pocket, and turned to look at Ziva, the only member of his team currently in the bullpen. She was cataloguing all of the information they had gotten on Emily's case and putting it in to a folder so that the FBI could take over easily and prosecute the men, which Abby had almost finished identifying, without any problems.
Tony and McGee were helping her down in her lab by re-bagging all of the evidence she finished with and packing it up, ready to be shipped off to the FBI, or Army CID, whichever came out on top of their dogfight, who would test it all again, wasting time, and come to the same conclusions with the same results as they had gotten. His only hope was that the men didn't get very far ahead of them in the time it would take the FBI or CID to bumble around. Maybe he could get Jenny to authorise the arrests of these men on NCIS grounds, then they couldn't get out of the country or disappear.
"I'm going down to autopsy." He said to Ziva, walking around his desk.
"I shall tell Ducky where you are if he comes to look for you up here." She replied to him, and he nodded gratefully and walked over to the elevator that opened up by MTAC on the floor above. He pressed the call button and waited for the elevator doors to open. He didn't have a long wait, and he stepped in and pressed the floor number for autopsy. Where was he? It didn't take this long to get to work form Jenny's house, he should know he'd done the commute many times. Was Ducky going slowly on purpose? Or was he making a pit stop somewhere?
The doors opened and Gibbs stepped out and walked quickly to the autopsy doors, which slid open, revealing an empty room. Even Palmer wasn't here, which was odd. Surely there should be someone looking after autopsy while Ducky was out, otherwise who would stop people from raiding the drugs cabinet or stealing tools? The doors should be locked in there was no one here. Gibbs carefully looked around the room, spotting Jimmy's coat hung by the door. So Palmer was in. Gibbs made a mental note to tell Ducky about his assistant's lack of diligence over autopsy in his absence and then walked back out and towards the lift. He may as well go back to the bullpen. Ducky might meet him on the way.
He pressed the button and the doors slid open immediately, so he stepped in, pressed his floor number and leaned back against the wall. The waiting was driving him crazy; he needed to speak to Ducky about his suspicions, which had put his insides on a slow boil. Jenny tried so hard to keep her secrets from him, and sometimes she was very successful, but not this time. Everything she said seemed to be a veiled hint for him; he just hadn't taken notice, until now. He was struggling with the ideas her words had put into his head and what he really needed was for his old friend to tell him, in his newly acquired professional psychological opinion, that he was nuts and he was seeing an atrocity where none existed.
But his gut told him otherwise. It told him he was on the right track, but his mind told him to back away, that the path he had chosen to pursue would only cause him more pain, and his sanity wasn't sure if it would survive it. If Jenny had lied to him, hidden something so precious from him, he wasn't sure if he could ever forgive her. He hadn't thought she could be so selfish, for herself, yes he could see that, she had left him for her career after all, but for something that so obviously involved him too? No, he hadn't thought of her as that kind of woman. He sighed heavily and forced himself to move when the doors opened at his floor. He stepped out and turned towards his desk, only to see Ducky and Ziva disappear around the corner of the stairs that led up to MTAC and Jenny's office.
Curiosity and a little annoyance drove him to try and head them off at the elevator, so he walked in their direction, coming around the stairs from the back. Instead of seeing them walking towards him however, he saw them hide around that little corner that so many people used as a hiding place. His eyebrows drew together in confusion and a little indignation. Ducky was keeping him waiting so he could have a little chat with Ziva? Gibbs stalked closer to the two of them, about to step around the corner and announce his presence when Ducky's voice stopped him.
"Ziva, I need to know what happened." He said, his voice sounded quite forceful, as if he was trying to make Ziva tell him something she didn't want to reveal. Had Ziva been injured?
"Why?" she asked defensively, and Gibbs opened his mouth to speak and stepped away from the wall, ready to walk around the corner, to try and make Ziva tell Ducky what he wanted to know, but Ducky spoke before he could.
"I'm not sure if you've noticed, but Jennifer is having problems, drinking problems. I think it is connected to whatever happened to this Rosie, and quite possibly, the Arms dealer she has been chasing after for the last ten years." Ducky said, his voice strained as if he was tired of trying to pull answers out of her. This question threw Gibbs, so he closed his mouth and stood his ground. Rosie? Who the hell was Rosie? One thing was now clear to him however, this wasn't about Ziva; it was about Jenny and this Rosie. He stepped back against the wall out of sight and continued to eavesdrop.
"I have noticed, but this problem is recent, Rosie is not." She replied, and Gibbs became completely still. Rosie wasn't recent? Her words made no sense to him at all. He suddenly wished he had overheard the beginning of this conversation, maybe hearing the whole story would explain everything he was missing.
"Then don't tell me anything, just confirm or deny my suspicions." Gibbs heard Ducky say desperately, and he felt that desperation ignite a similar feeling within himself. These were questions and answers he needed to hear too.
"Alright, but this never happened. I do not want to lose Jenny's friendship." Ziva stipulated and Gibbs couldn't help the small smile that appeared on his lips. Jenny would definitely find out about this, Ziva was deluding herself if she really thought that Jenny wouldn't make the connection. Whether their friendship would survive would depend solely on how the two women handled the discovery, and accusation, of betrayal.
"Agreed. Rosie was her daughter, wasn't she?" Ducky asked, and Gibbs closed his eyes briefly, not needing to hear the answer, he already knew, his gut had made the connection a while ago; the only new information was the name and sex of the child. Jenny had had a little girl called Rosie. He zoned out of the conversation, just thinking about what Jenny's daughter must look like, until the next question penetrated his mind.
"Gibbs is Rosie's father?" Ducky said, his voice somehow making it a statement, not a question. Jethro held his breath, waiting to hear the words that would have the power to break him, one way or another. Somehow, the thought that Jenny had given birth to a child that wasn't his, would be far worse than hearing he was the father of a child he didn't know about. What right did he have to think that though, when he was the one that had thrown his relationships in her face? He was the one that had married, actually married, another woman only a few months after she had left him. She hadn't done anything like that to him, and as far as he was concerned she could have been celibate since Paris.
"Was. I believe so." Ziva saying she believed he was the father pretty much meant that he was. Ziva would have dug around until she found the truth, that was how Mossad had trained her, and that meant that she had found he was the only one that could have fathered Rosie. He closed his eyes again, this time squeezing them shut against the pain he felt. 'Was', that one word stemmed all of the anger and resentment he had been prepared to feel against Jenny for keeping Rosie from him.
'Was' meant that Jenny no longer had a Rosie to keep from him, 'was' meant that Jenny had felt the soul shattering agony of losing a child, and that was something he could identify with, even if it was like a slug to the gut, an indescribable pain that felt fatal, but wasn't. It would just stay for as long as you lived, as long as you could stand it. He had been prepared to end the pain after losing Shannon and Kelly, he'd held the gun in his hands, pointing it at his head, but something had stopped him from pulling the trigger. What, he didn't know, and it appeared that he had prolonged his life just to cause pain to the women he had married, and the woman he had fallen in love with. He had given her a child, only for her to be killed. It seemed that he was a curse, a broken shadow of the man he once was, that just spread his misfortune to those he cared about.
So he had lost another child, this one he hadn't even known about. Although it hurt, he couldn't say he felt her death that strongly because he had never known her. The pain he felt was in remembrance of all of the time he'd had with Kelly, which he could have had with Rosie. He should have known; he should have seen the signs that Jenny had been giving him unwittingly. Her hesitation when he had asked her that time if she was offering to have a child with him, for example, he should have seen the hesitation and avoidance in her eyes for what it was; guilt. She knew that she had already mothered a child with him, but she hadn't told him, hadn't said anything even though that would have been the perfect opportunity to do so.
He could understand not wanting to reveal the loss of Rosie to anyone, and the desire to keep her a secret from her colleagues; he had done just that for years, but not telling him about his own little girl? That was a low blow and something he'd had the right to know. He opened his eyes, listening to the rest of Ducky and Ziva's conversation, listening to Ziva recount the tale he had wanted to know himself for so long; how she had saved Jenny. It was nothing like he had expected though, nothing like what he wanted to hear, but he listened to every word, trying to understand what had happened to Jenny and their daughter so long ago.
If Ziva hadn't saved Jenny, he would have found out about Rosie years ago, when Jenny's death would have been reported. No doubt Ducky would have taken him to one side and told him, the ME had been the one that kept a close eye on her career, and most especially, her health. How had he missed this?
"Rosie's body?" he heard Ducky ask gently, and he leaned forward, hoping to hear where he would have to go to speak to his second daughter, like he spoke to Shannon and Kelly.
"She never let go of it. Rosie is interred in her family plot, along with Jenny's mother." Ziva replied quietly, and Gibbs ground his teeth together. Jenny's mother was dead? He was suddenly realising he knew hardly anything about Jenny's personal life. Why hadn't he taken the time to find this out years ago? He could have talked about his parents and gotten her to talk about hers without ever mentioning his first wife and child. Why hadn't he?
"Thank you Ziva, that was very informative." Ducky said, and Gibbs straightened up, knowing this was his cue to let them know he had heard them. He took a deep breath and calmed his fury, which was itching to get out, to unleash itself on anyone that got in his way, but he didn't want to lash out. He needed to see Jenny, but first things first.
"It sure was. I think your phone is dead Duck, I had to come looking for you." he forced out, taking the next few seconds to try and convince himself that it wasn't Ziva's secret to tell. He was attempting to not take it personally that she had known his daughter, had taken part in her short life, and then said nothing to him in all the time she had been a part of his team. His thoughts weren't helping, so he rounded the corner quickly.
They stared at him, horrified, unsure if he had heard everything they had said, and unwilling to find out. Ziva threw an accusing glare at Ducky, obviously jumping to the erroneous conclusion that he had set her up to talk about Jenny's secret, and tell Gibbs everything he should be finding out from Jenny. Oh, he intended to speak to her soon, but not now.
"Jethro…" Ducky said in surprise and dismay, glancing back at Ziva and shaking his head in denial. "I had no idea he was there my dear, though I was going to tell him what I found out." He said to her and she stared into his eyes, testing his honesty, and then she nodded relaxing, glad that he was being honest with her rather than just feigning innocence.
"I heard everything Duck, so tell me how it is you two know about Rosie, and I don't. Why am I just hearing about her now?" He asked his oldest friend at NCIS, his voice sharp and low, conveying his rage. Ducky's expression turned from repentant, to sorrowful and he opened his mouth to reply but was cut off by Ziva's irate voice.
"It was Jenny's burden, not ours; her child, her choice." Ziva answered him defensively, and he turned to her angrily. Did she really think that argument would sway him? That it would make him say, 'yes, that's fair.' He stared at her long and hard until Ziva looked away, her eyes laden with guilt.
"She was my child too Ziva, what about my choice? What about my right to know? Why did she never tell me?" he demanded hotly, stepping closer to the two people he had trusted with his life mere moments ago. Now he couldn't even trust their words.
"You were married before she found out she was pregnant!" Ziva replied furiously, her tone making it obvious she thought his marriage was a foul act, something so obviously aimed at hurting Jenny, and she was right. Ziva supported her decision to not tell Gibbs about his daughter, after all; how much of a good parent would he be when he used a woman as a weapon against another?
"That doesn't make my claim to her any less real, she was my daughter, I should have been told." He insisted, his voice getting louder with his vehemence, the pain finally showing through the anger. Ziva softened her expression and put a hand on Gibbs' shoulder. He stared at it like it was a scorpion that she had just placed on him, but she didn't back down under his glare.
"Jenny didn't want anyone to know about Rosie, she wanted to keep that pain to herself. Surely you understand that?" she asked him, her voice even, her eyes searching his. He looked away this time, looking over at Ducky, whose expression was a little more sympathetic to him, but not much. How could he be this angry when he had done a similar thing himself? The answer, he thought furiously to himself, was; neither Shannon nor Kelly had been related to Jenny. He opened his mouth to retort, to tell them exactly why he didn't understand, but his mobile chose that moment to ring. He stared at the two before him for a few more moments and then whipped out his phone.
"Yeah, Gibbs." He grumbled in to it.
"Gibbs! We've done it!" Abby shouted excitedly down the other end, and Gibbs felt his nerves calming. Abby had that effect on him, she was the one he thought of as a daughter, and ironically, was the only one that he would ever have that had survived past childhood. He was just destined to never have a son or daughter that would live, so Abby was as close as he would ever get.
"Finally." He heard Tony say in the background, followed by the sound of a swat and an exclamation of pain.
"I'm talking." Jethro heard her say to Tony sternly and then she directed her attention back to him. "All of the prints and DNA searches are done and matched to seven very unsavoury guys." She reported to him happily, and he heard the distinct slosh of Caf-Pow down the line.
"That's great Abs, I'll call Hollis and tell her. Don't want the FBI to get the evidence or CID will never get a look in on the investigation." He said to her and he just knew she was nodding to him.
"Yeah, ok. Well it's bagged and ready to go. Oh! How's Emily by the way? And Fornell?" she asked, her voice losing a little of its energy in preparation of bad news. Gibbs smiled, happy to be able to report good news.
"They're fine, Emily's jumpy around men but Jenny will sort her out." He said confidently, eyeing Ducky in front of him. Ducky nodded in confirmation of what he had just said, he truly believed that Jenny could make Emily better. That was good enough for him, Jenny was competent and now he knew she had experience with children, even if the experience was agonizing to recall.
"Yeah, she would have made a great mom." Abby said innocently on the other side of the phone and Gibbs felt a lump appear in his throat, and his heart constrict in pain.
"Yeah. Bye Abs." he rasped, forcing the words past his lips, out of his suddenly dry throat, which ached like it had been torn apart in the face of the anguish he felt.
"Bye!" she said happily and he ended the call, shoving his phone in his pocket and taking a deep, calming breath. He looked once more at Ziva and Ducky, and then barged past them, pulling his phone out again. He'd better call Hollis now, before the FBI got wind that the evidence was finished with, or before he lost the ability to speak, whichever came first.