INSANO RETURNS!
Incidentally, the Bus Driver is the same one from the Rock Bottom episode of Spongebob.
Review replies;
Zim'sMostLoyalServant: Who knows? There have been a lot of ghost sightings down there. D Thanks for reading!
TweenisodeOrange: I'd recommend it. It's nice down here. Except Sydney. Thanks for reviewing!
Cartooniac55: Mr. Lancer is Danny Fenton's teacher. Yup. Thanks for the review!
Movie-Brat: It seemed pretty random at the time. *shrugs* Thanks very much!
unknown20troper: Yes, but what trick was it? XD Thanks!
20/10/10 – And Now For Something Completely Different
The Bus Driver raised his eyebrow as the strange man stepped on the bus. He was giggling insanely and holding up what looked like an analogue dial.
"Where does this bus go?" he asked.
"Sydney," the driver replied.
"YES! It's going to the most hellish place imaginable," the man grinned, "And…where are we now?"
"Melbourne. It's an all-day trip," the driver replied.
"Even better!" exclaimed the man, "A perfect chance to try out my latest invention…"
"I'm gonna need a name if you want a ticket," the Bus Driver sighed.
"Oh, err, Insano, first name Doctor."
"Really."
"Yes."
The Bus Driver sighed.
"Get in the back," he groaned.
Dr. Insano walked by, grinning.
"What a nut-job," he sighed.
He closed the doors and pulled on the clutch.
The first hour or so of the trip was pretty quiet as the bus negotiated the Melbourne suburbs and got onto the main highway.
Dr. Insano grinned, and whispered to Squidward, who was sitting next to him.
"This is my latest invention," he boasted.
"Uh-huh," nodded Squidward, unenthusiastically.
"I call it the Fiddley Thing," explained Insano.
"Uh-huh."
"You fiddle with the little knob, and you can distort reality!"
"Uh-huh."
"It doesn't even need a dongly thing!"
"Uh-huh."
"Do you want to see me test it?"
"Uh-huh."
"I guarantee that you'll find it amazing!"
"Uh-huh."
Dr. Insano gave a chuckle, and glanced at the people on the seats behind them.
Chester and AJ were playing hand held games against each other. I'd tell you what exactly they were playing, but that would be copyright infringement. (So says the fanfic writer.)
"Hey, you can't use [INSERT CREATURE HERE], we made rules against that!" snapped Chester.
"That's what you get for using [INSERT ATTACK HERE]," grinned AJ, smugly.
Dr. Insano inwardly wondered why they were saying 'insert whatever here' rather then the actual names of the game concepts, but he shrugged it off. He fiddled with the Fiddley Thing until he found the setting he wanted, and then laughed as he pushed the button.
There was a little 'pop!', and the kids turned into two little mouse things, Chester with red ears, and AJ with blue ears.
"What the heck?" exclaimed Chester.
"It appears we have been turned into creatures from a popular game series," mused AJ.
"Can I still play the harmonica?"
"Most likely."
"Then I'm cool," nodded Chester.
Dr. Insano let off another cackles, causing Squidward to flinch a little.
"It works! IT WORKS!" he bellowed.
"Uh-huh."
Squidward sighed, and looked out the window. It was going to be a long ride.
Another hour later, and the bus was passing a relatively generic countryside of trees and farms. Squidward was trying to sleep, which was difficult, as Dr. Insano kept cackling for no reason.
"Hey."
Squidward tried to ignore Dr. Insano as he elbowed him.
"Hey, Squidward," repeated Dr. Insano, "You want to see my Fiddley Thing again?"
"No."
"Good, I'll show you!" grinned Dr. Insano.
He glanced around the bus for a target. For a relatively large coach, it was disappointingly empty, but, just across from them, Spongebob and Sandy were talking with each other.
"I know," declared Dr. Insano, "I'll use it on that ugly cheese!"
Squidward perked up, grinning.
"Oh, I can agree with that one," he snickered.
"So you'll watch?" asked Dr. Insano.
"Of course," nodded Squidward.
"OF COURSE!"
The Nostalgia Critic, in full M. Bison garb, had been sitting in front of them.
"…who are you?" asked Squidward, taken aback.
"Never mind, I just…got the urge," sighed the Critic, relaxing back into his seat.
"Alrighty then!" grinned Dr. Insano, "I'll just fiddle with this a little bit…"
Across from them, Spongebob was still talking.
"I can't believe we won a free trip to Australia!" he grinned, "How did that happen again?"
Sandy shrugged.
"It's nice, ain't it," she replied, "Great to get away from the chimps, for once…speaking of which, how come y'all can breathe air?"
"Moisture Spray," replied Spongebob, "I should really use it more often."
Dr. Insano turned the knob to his (seemingly random) desired setting and pressed the button again.
There was another 'pop'.
Spongebob glanced at his arm absently, and noted that it had turned into a metallic, robot hand, similar to Jenny Wakeman's if I may use a bad simile. He glanced at his reflection in the window.
Both he and Sandy had been changed into robots. What had once been their skin/fur, clothing and other apparel were now represented by metallic paint on aluminium bodies, and their eyes were now screens with digital pupils.
"Uhh…what just happened?" asked Spongebob, a metallic tinge to his voice.
"I…don't know," replied Sandy, looking confused, "I mean – none of my gadgets could've caused this, I left 'em all behind."
"Hey, does this mean you don't need an air helmet anymore?" quizzed Spongebob.
Sandy thought for a moment, then grinned.
"True," she nodded, "Well, heck to it, then, I can live with this."
Dr. Insano let out a chuckle.
"YES! I have irreparably destroyed countless lives!" he boomed.
"You've 'destroyed' four lives," sighed Squidward, "None of whom have 'lost' their livelihoods. I wanted sponge-torture."
Dr. Insano looked at his feet.
"Well…I tried," he shrugged.
Squidward ignored him.
Another hour, and the bus was passing slightly hilly plains of long, dry grass. Squidward was again trying valiantly to ignore Dr. Insano, who was fiddling some more with the Fiddley Thing.
"There has to be a bad one in here," he mused, "Somebody's soul is going to be crushed, damn it!"
"It already has," deadpanned Squidward.
Dr. Insano looked around the bus once more, glancing on one last group – Danny Fenton and Sam Manson. Danny was walking away to use the bus toilet, leaving Sam alone.
"Aha!" he grinned, "I can destroy young love! That's cool, isn't it?"
"No," sighed Squidward.
"Yes! Yes it is!" cackled Dr. Insano.
Sam glanced over at Dr. Insano, rolling her eyes.
"Can you stop cackling?" she demanded, "Or do I have to come over there?"
"Yes, please do," added Squidward.
"Oh really, girl?" chuckled Dr. Insano, "I have one thing to say to you!"
"Yeah? What is it?" challenged Sam.
"Think fast!"
Dr Insano held up the Fiddley Thing and pushed the button.
There was another 'pop'.
Sam's skin began to grow fur, and her eyes changed shape and turned yellow. With yet another 'pop', a tail appeared, strangely leaving her skirt intact (get your minds out of the gutter.) Her nose turned into a small, triangular whachamacallit and her ears moved to the top of her head, becoming cat ears.
"Uh…what?" repeated Sam, confused.
Dr. Insano shrugged.
"I honestly didn't see that coming," he replied.
At that moment, Danny emerged from the bathroom.
"What's going…" he began.
He paused, his eyes widening.
Sam stared back.
Dr. Insano hid the Fiddley Thing.
"I am entirely innocent," he said in monotone.
Danny's jaw dropped.
"Whoa," he said at last, "What…"
Then there was a flash, and Sam returned to her normal self.
"I'm a…werecat?" she mused.
"Actually, more of a werelioness, but yeah," AJ replied, leaning over from his seat.
"Aw, you're adorable," the Critic cut in.
Sam blinked.
"Awesome!" she cheered, raising her hands in the air.
Danny still blinked, periodically repeating 'what.'
Dr. Insano sat back down, looking miserable.
"Drat," he cursed, "I'm a mad scientist, not the f**king Salvation Army!"
He reached into his coat.
"Looks like it's time for my Defeat Cigar," he moaned.
He pulled out a cigar and lit his lighter.
The bus screeched to a halt at the side of the road.
The Bus Driver opened the door and hurled both Dr. Insano and Squidward onto the roadside.
"No smoking on the bus!" he snapped.
"…but what about the harassment of the other passengers?" quizzed Dr. Insano.
"No. Smoking. On the Bus," repeated the Bus Driver.
"What did I do?" demanded Squidward.
The Bus Driver slammed the door.
With a rev, a roar and a cloud of exhaust, the bus was gone.
Squidward looked miserably from left to right, seeing only dry grass for miles on end. He gave a depressed moan and sat on the roadside.
"Well, that didn't go well," shrugged Dr. Insano, "Never mind! I'll just work on some of my other devices. I can show you my Nuclear Hand Cannon!"
"SHUT UP!" screamed Squidward, "YOU'RE LIKE VILLAIN SPONGEBOB, JUST…JUST…SHUT UP!"
There was a long silence, Dr. Insano looking very hurt.
Then he shrugged, and began talking about his army of Suicide Squirrels.
Squidward buried his head in his hands and sobbed.
I wasn't on crack when I made this. Honest.