A/N: Thank you so very much for all of the feedback, guys! You guys are wonderful! I really do look forward to reading your comments, so thank you for brightening up my day. :)
I also wanted to apologize because I didn't post this chapter yesterday, like I'd originally promised! I hope that none of you are too annoyed with me, but I literally added a million things in this chapter (and please tell me if it sucks, since I think I may have added a bit too much, hahah... but do so gently, please. ;) ). In any case, I really hope that you guys like it!
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee. I merely used Ryan Murphy's amazing characters to get me out of my writer's block.
Puck was on his way out the door, when his mother called him into the kitchen.
"Sit. Eat with us." She urged. Puck would have preferred racing to school (speaking to Quinn was something he was itching to do. He felt as though he would explode if he didn't and his heart was the ticking bomb), but when he saw his younger sister's huge smile, he couldn't say no.
He dragged his feet to the kitchen table, plopping down in his chair, while his mom placed a bowl in front of him and brought him the milk. He glanced at Hannah, who hadn't taken her adoring eyes off of him the whole time, and cocked one of his eyebrows.
"What?" He asked self-consciously.
"You never have breakfast with mom and me," she grinned. He ruffled her hair affectionately and poured his Cap'N Crunch. Chowing down noisily, he relished his family's company, as he thought idly about the last time his mom had talked him into eating with them. I wonder why mom stopped me today. Is today Hannah's birthday? He looked at his mom, worried that he might have forgotten someone's special day. She seemed… tired, cupping her mug of coffee in both hands, leaning against the countertop, staring absently towards the doorway.
Their eyes met and Sarah looked at her son affectionately. He shot a small smile in her direction, but quickly looked back down, a little overwhelmed by her gaze.
"Hannah, go brush your teeth," Sarah said. "I'll drive you to school in a few minutes." Hannah quickly picked up her empty dishes and took them to the sink, running out of the kitchen to brush her teeth.
Puck watched as his mom walked to sit across from him; it was her turn to give him a small smile. Heaving a deep sigh, she furrowed her brows and remained quiet, merely watching Puck as he ate his cereal.
"I asked you to join Hannah and me for breakfast today, Noah," she started, "because I want to remind you that we are your family. You've hardly been around and I know you're probably feeling restless over Quinn's situation. But family comes first." She gave him a knowing smile.
Puck nodded, drinking the leftover milk quickly so he could avoid saying anything at all. He stood, took his dishes to the sink and slowly turned around to face his mom. Leaning against the countertop, he exhaled slowly.
"I know you've always hated that I break curfew," he began, stuffing his hands in his pockets and avoiding her gaze. Her hazel eyes were too much like his and he couldn't bear to look into them this morning. "That I have a new girl every other day it seems. That my grades keep getting worse. And I know that you think I'm in over my head. For that I'm sorry." He clenched his jaw, staring intently at the linoleum on his kitchen floor.
Sarah smiled at her boy. "I know, Noah. I know." She soothed. "You're… rebellious, but you're not a bad kid." Puck shifted his weight and headed out of the kitchen.
"We're your family," she said, making Puck stop at the kitchen exit. "Quinn is our family, now, too. Make sure you tell her that."
He nodded slowly, his smile never quite reaching his eyes. "Thanks, mom," he said, finally leaving for school.
Puck's eyes scanned the long hallway to Quinn's locker, but he couldn't find her. He hadn't seen her all morning; not in the halls, not in Spanish and not even during her spare period. He'd almost given up hope of talking to her, when he saw a flash of blonde coming from the opposite side of the hallway. Even though his reflex was to watch after the girl (I'm a dude. I have needs.), Puck knew instinctively that it wasn't Quinn. Quinn doesn't bounce when she walks, he thought, irrationally annoyed by the other blonde.
He turned to head to the nurse's office—since there really was no point in going to math class if Quinn wasn't there—when he spotted Rachel. It was hard to miss the tiny brunette when she was wearing a red and orange sweater dress that reached the middle of her thigh.
"Berry," Puck called to her. She turned around, obviously surprised that Puck wanted to speak with her. He jogged towards her, feeling unnaturally nervous. "Hey, um, do you know where Quinn is?" He asked uncertainly.
Rachel smiled widely. "Hello, Noah." Puck nodded impatiently. Get to the point, Rachel. My question... "I regret to inform you that Quinn was unable to come to school today, due to a terrible headache." Puck's eyes bulged. Noticing his concern, Rachel put her right hand up as though to silence the boy in front of her. "Relax." She smiled at him comfortingly. "It's not a big deal. She couldn't sleep at all last night, so she woke with a migraine this morning, much to her chagrin." She smiled pityingly at the thought of Quinn. "As I'm sure you're well aware, good rest is essential for anyone, especially someone as stressed out as Quinn." She added.
Hasn't she been sleeping fine at Rachel's? Puck swallowed hard, causing Rachel to place a timid hand on his shoulder. Taking a deep breath and furrowing her eyebrows, she steeled herself before speaking again.
"Listen, I know that you're worried about Quinn." Puck looked down, his eyes showing his surprise at Rachel's perceptiveness. "Why don't you go see her?" Rachel asked softly.
"No way. I have some pride.'" He looked at Rachel with contempt. "Besides, it's not like I care. I just didn't see her all morning, so I was worried. About the baby." He quickly added, looking down at his feet again, ashamed at how lame he must seem. In front of Rachel freaking Berry. Lame and pathetic and I might as well have my man-card revoked. Rachel shook her head in annoyance and made a noise that sounded very much like a snort.
"Puck, you care about Quinn. Don't try denying it. I can tell." Puck scoffed, looking around to make sure no one had heard Rachel's remark. "Has it ever occurred to you that maybe you should put your foolish pride aside and, oh, I don't know...? Talk to her? Be a man. Own up to your feelings for her. You never know," she shrugged. Rachel was going to add that Quinn had feelings for Puck, but she knew it wasn't her secret to tell. She bit her tongue and just left the question hanging.
"Never know what?" He asked, his eyes a mixture of confusion and hope. If Rachel knows something...
"Nothing." Rachel rebuked herself internally, but kept talking. "But I still think that you should talk to her. She's alone, Puck. Her parents bailed on her, her sister isn't returning any of her calls, Finn broke up with her, Santana and Brittany live in their own little world and coach Sylvester avoids her. Sure, she has me, but I know she'd trade me in, in a heartbeat for someone else." Rachel let out a small laugh and looked at Puck knowingly. It was odd living with Quinn, especially when Rachel knew she grated on Quinn's already fragile nerves. But Quinn needed someone in her life who accepted her. Take a hint, Puck. Quinn wants you. Not me.
Rachel's knowing look hadn't escaped Puck. He knew that Rachel was in on something. Feeling his heart rate rise considerably, he bit his cheeks to keep from smiling. Noticing the constipated expression on Puck's face, Rachel rolled her eyes and walked around him. She wasn't going to be late to her Debate Club meeting on account of him.
Puck sighed, wondering idly if what Rachel had hinted at was valid or not. Deciding that what she had said was in his best interest, he walked towards the exit. He didn't know what he was going to say to Quinn about Finn, but his mom's advice stuck with him: Quinn needed a family. A safety net that she could trust. And he was going to do whatever it took to make sure she had one.
Quinn's headache had been an excuse so she wouldn't have to go to school that day. She didn't want to see Puck and she knew that stepping foot into that school would make her crave his company. It was best to stay at Rachel's, sleep for most of the day and raid the Berrys' pantry. You know, avoid the temptation that was Noah Puckerman… the only person on earth who could make Quinn forget who she was and what she wanted.
She was currently ingesting some of the Berrys' marshmallows (which was the only unhealthy food they stocked) and was greedily smothering them in cream cheese. She was positively ravenous and, since no one was home, she didn't have to hold back and was literally stuffing her pretty face with empty calories.
She grabbed the bag of marshmallows, the cream cheese and a glass of orange juice before making her way back to her room. Before she even made it to the staircase, the doorbell rang. Quinn froze on the spot, her cheeks bulging due to the four marshmallows she had just jammed inside her mouth. She remained still, hoping that whoever was at the Berrys' door would go away if they thought that the house was empty.
To her regret, however, they banged against the door.
"Quinn!" She heard a familiar voice shout from outside. Puck?
Thinking fast, she tried swallowing the marshmallows. "Jufft a shecond!" Came her muffled yell. Quickly, she hid the marshmallows under the coffee table in the hall and the cream cheese in one of the drawers. She gulped down the rest of the orange juice and hid the empty glass in one of the planters. Hurriedly gathering her blond hair into a ponytail and smoothing out the wrinkles in her pajamas (I really should have showered), she opened the door.
Puck smiled when he saw Quinn.
"Hi," she greeted uncertainly.
"Hey," he answered. Quinn stepped aside, letting him through. "Nice jammies," Puck complimented.
"What do you want?" She questioned antagonistically. Really, Quinn had been looking forward to having a Puck-free day and for him to just show up like that… Unless Rachel told him to come visit me, Quinn realized. She shook her head lightly, making a mental note to smother Rachel in her sleep.
Puck looked at Quinn. Even wearing flannel pajamas, she managed to pull off her glare.
"I came by to make sure you were okay," he answered honestly. What was the point in lying to her when he wanted to show her he was trustworthy?
"As you can see, I'm perfectly fine. I had a migraine this morning, but it went away." Quinn walked to the door and opened it, motioning to Puck that he should leave. Puck chuckled softly and shook his head.
"Listen Quinnie," Quinn clenched her jaw in annoyance. "I came here because you weren't at school for most of the day. Excuse me for worrying!" He said sarcastically.
Quinn bit the corner of her lip and avoided Puck's stare. Slowly, she closed the door. "Thank you for worrying," she said forcibly. She was going to be civil (again), but that didn't mean she had to like it. "But I'm perfectly fine. The baby is fine, too." She added instinctively.
"Good. I'm glad you're both okay," Puck leaned against the white walls in Rachel's house and took in the setting. Grinning, he contemplated how weird life had turned out since December. Hell, if you had told Puck back in October that Quinn would be living with Rachel, he would have punched you for lying to him. But, here he stood in Rachel's home… talking to Quinn.
"So what's it like living with Berry?" He asked, genuinely curious. He knew that Quinn couldn't stand Rachel and for her to live with her was mind-boggling.
"It's fine," Quinn replied offhandedly. "I sometimes wish Rachel would leave me alone, but her dads are great," she added honestly. They smiled at one another, both blushing slightly under the others' stare.
Quinn broke the tension, looking away. "Why are you here?"
"I just wanted to make sure you were okay living here. I dunno..." Puck hesitated and Quinn looked up at him, again, one of her delicate eyebrows rising in alarm. Something inside her clicked and she worried that Puck was going to say something idiotic, ultimately ruining whatever moment they would have. "Don't you miss living at home?"
Idiotic, insensitive and none of his business! "My parents threw me out, Puck!" she practically yelled, her blonde ponytail swaying back and forth as she shook her head. Is he really bringing that up? "I can't just go back!"
"Maybe you should talk to them?" Puck said softly, his left hand rubbing the back of his neck, showing his unease. This wasn't easy for him either and if he wasn't careful, the whole thing could blow up in his face.
"What part of 'they threw me out' don't you understand? Don't you think I would have gone crawling back to my parents sooner if I believed they'd take me back?" Quinn's eyes welled with tears.
Puck winced when he saw her tears, but he had learned his lesson and kept his distance, ignoring the urge to cling to her. It wasn't easy telling her to "fuck 'em all", when he knew that deep down that's not what she wanted. Her parents really were the biggest douche bags in America and it sucked that Quinn still needed them.
"Well, maybe you should try... what's the harm, right?" He tried smiling, but his smile looked pained.
"Look, Puck." Quinn counted to ten internally. She wasn't about to start bawling in front of him again. "I actually don't mind living here. I like Rachel's dads, I love my bed," she argued, unable to meet his hazel eyes. "Rachel's a pain, sure, but even then she keeps me company." She finally met his eyes. "I'm never lonely."
"But that's not the point, Quinn," he said softly. "The point is, you need a family." With those gentle words, Quinn's face crumpled completely and Puck was at her side instantly.
For once he didn't care if she didn't want him to hold her; he did so anyway. He held her tight against his chest, feeling her tiny sobs as they forced their way out of her body, stroking her back comfortingly. Quinn allowed herself the luxury of being so close to him. She felt his hands stroke her hair, breathing in the smell of his sweatshirt—a mix of chlorine and fresh mown grass—remembering the night of their baby's conception, while Puck wondered if Quinn's tears were because of what he'd said or because of the baby.
While this moment felt too short to both of them, they stood like that for longer than was necessary, clinging to one another even after Quinn's sobs had calmed down and were replaced by her tiny sighs.
Him holding her.
It just worked.
They finally migrated to the Berrys' living room.
There they sat. Awkward glances, fidgeting hands and complete and total silence.
Puck took a long sip of his water and smiled at Quinn who was sitting across from him on the couch.
"I'm sorry if I was a dick."
"'If'?" Quinn asked, looking at him sideways, her eyebrow raised. Puck let out a small laugh, looking up at her sheepishly.
"Fine. I was a complete dick," he admitted.
Quinn rolled her eyes, a small smile dancing on her lips. "Don't worry about it. Lately everything makes me cry. Commercials, cars honking, the smell of coffee in the morning. I'm a mess."
"Are the hormones that bad?" Puck looked worried.
"Yes..." she said, looking up at the ceiling fan. "And no," she smiled, her gaze locking on him.
Puck stared at his hands. "Look, I know that you keep telling me that it's your mess and all of that BS, but the kid? Our kid is half mine... making the choice mine, too. And, I gotta say, you're not doing what's good for our baby... or you," he bore his eyes into her.
Quinn shook her head, annoyed that Puck thought he had any say in where she lived. Clenching her jaw, she smiled as sweetly as she could at the father of her unborn kid.
"Again, why are you here?"
"I told you, I was worried and…" he got up from his chair and went to sit next to her on the opposite couch, a determined gleam in his hazel eyes. He tensed his jaw muscles before continuing. "I went to see Finn yesterday."
Quinn's head whipped around to face him, her left eyebrow rising instinctively, calling Puck's bluff.
"What?" The question was as silent as air being let out of a balloon.
Puck let out an exasperated breath, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees. He rubbed his face, wondering how he could tell the girl he loved that she still had a shot with her ex-boyfriend. He never loved her, but she loves him. He doesn't want her, but she wants him. Christ!
"Yeah, I went to see Finn yesterday to clear the air." He answered as serenely as he could. He paused, lifting his head so he could gauge her reaction to what he was saying. She nodded once, signaling for him to continue. "And it went okay." He could practically feel the tension lift and heard Quinn's barely audible, 'Thank you, Jesus.'
"What did you talk about?" She asked gingerly. Quinn's selfish acts caused the baby drama, but she never meant for Puck or Finn's relationship to suffer. She hoped that Finn had forgiven Puck, that they made plans to shoot hoops one day after school, that their friendship was restored. What she didn't expect was what came out of Puck's mouth next.
"He told me that he never hated you. Ever." While Quinn felt immense relief at Puck's words, she noticed that his eyes were downcast as he spoke, his shoulders hunched and his voice forlorn. She never thought she'd want to kiss him more than she did at that moment.
She touched his arm, her fingers tingling at the feel of it.
"Puck? What about you and Finn? Are you…" she swallowed, afraid that his answer might not be one she wanted to hear. "Are you guys okay?"
Puck smiled softly, his eyes locked on Quinn's hand on his arm, mesmerized by Quinn's delicate fingers on his tanned arm. He lifted his gaze to her perfect face and nodded. Quinn couldn't contain her happiness at those words and the smile that spread on her face made Puck's mind swim in nostalgia. He thought of when they were kids, chasing one another in the playground. Her giggle making him feel instantly elated. He thought of when they were in the fourth grade and she would con him into pushing her on the swings, her bossy voice carrying with it a playful note that only Puck could detect. How could he refuse her? He thought of when they had a food fight in the school's home-ec room, her shrieks of joy mingling with his deep laugh.
Looking at her delicate fingers on his arm, he felt as though this was goodbye; though part of him held a conviction that his heart would always want her. Would always need her. But the rational part of his brain acknowledged that they were giving away their little girl. That she would go crawling back to Finn; they were perfect (or at least near-perfect, he thought bitterly); they deserved one another. Nothing would tie her to him, anymore.
Biting the bullet, he averted his eyes to hide his sadness. "So, are you going to talk to Finn?" He felt his heart stop, leaving a dull feeling in his chest.
Quinn laughed. "Why would I do that?" She stroked his arm absentmindedly, forgetting her hand's placement period. Her gentle caresses made the hair on Puck's arm stand on end; he would always be the one guy to get past her defenses and make Quinn forget who she was and what she wanted. Slowly, Puck felt as his heart sprung back to life painfully, swelling in his chest, filling him with this warm, happy feeling that overwhelmed him. She's not desperate of getting back into Finn's life.
"I mean, I want to properly apologize to him, but…" she sighed, continuing. "I think we both need more time before we can ever have any kind of interaction."
Puck chuckled softly, thankful that his heart was beating again. Thankful that he was mistaken about Quinn's affection for Finn. Just… thankful.
Quinn continued stroking his arm distractedly, until she saw the awed expression on Puck's face as he stared at her hand. Thinking back to her conversation with Rachel from the previous night, there was no denying that the look on Puck's face, the one that made Quinn's heart flutter happily like a butterfly's wings, was full of tenderness.
Immediately withdrawing her hand, her body became stiff. Puck noticed this change and the spot where she had been stroking felt numb. Hurt, he rolled his shoulders and leaned away from her. There's no winning with her.
Quinn cleared her throat. "Was there anything else you wanted to say? I mean, we got pretty sidetracked with the good news…" she pursed her lips contemplatively, shrugging a single shoulder.
Realizing that whatever moment they'd just had was gone forever, Puck resigned himself to having another awkward conversation with his baby mama. He rolled his eyes at the situation, but Quinn thought it was directed at her. Annoyed with Puck's demeanor and eye rolling, Quinn turned her body away from his, ultimately blocking him off, glaring at the coffee table.
He took another deep breath, dreading having to bring up Quinn's family situation… again. "I… uh… I wanted to remind you that we're family." His voice was gruff, but Quinn could hear the sincerity in his tone. She smiled (her eyes still glued to the coffee table), his words having melted some of her hostility.
"Thanks." She turned to smile at him shyly.
"You know, we can go to your parents' house and see if they'll take you back?" He offered reluctantly. "I'll stay with you the whole time," he offered gently. She looked into his eyes and could detect nothing but his sincerity.
Quinn deliberated his offer for a moment, lacing her delicate fingers over her right kneecap. She bit her lip contemplatively, weighing her options. Mom and Dad don't know that Puck's the real father, but I do need to be honest with them. Maybe then they'll understand. Who am I kidding? She thought laughingly. If I confess that I slept with Puck, they'll be even more ashamed of me for having lied to them and Finn.
Puck watched Quinn as she struggled with making a decision, feeling slightly impatient with her indecision.
"Quinn, I know your sister hasn't returned any of your calls." She turned to glare at him. Rachel is such a blabbermouth! "But if you don't go to your parents' house, how do you know that they don't care about what's going on in your life?"
"Because." She stated stubbornly, hating that her little girl had decided to start 'knocking' just then.
"Have you tried calling? Emailing? Talking to your mom?" Puck listed off his fingers.
Quinn crossed her arms, trying to stop the little girl from kicking so much.
"No. I told you. They threw me out, Puck. They can't get any clearer. They don't want me." She stared right into Puck's hazel eyes, hating the fact that he seemed to know every one of her insecurities. "It's not like they've tried contacting me, anyway."
Puck winced a bit at her words. He'd neglected that small part.
It was a long time before either of them spoke again, but the small stranger inside Quinn kept kicking away. Puck finally broke the silence as he stood to leave.
"I'm sorry I came over," he said insincerely. "But you really should stop being so stubborn. Every time we see one another, we argue. Seriously. You should go to your parents' house. What's the worst that could happen?"
With that small, innocent question, Quinn envisioned an encounter with her parents. She pictured her parents; anger, resentment, accusations. A stuffy living room with the hint of gin and tonic in the air. She didn't really like the prospect. She felt Puck's hand grab hers and she turned her head slowly to meet his eyes.
"I can't," she whispered, her eyes imploring him to respect her decision as he'd respected her in the past.
"Quinn, I know your parents were… idiots for kicking you out, but you can't stay here forever. You need new clothes, you need money… We're doing okay right now, but eventually we'll need more help."
Their eyes met again and she nodded. What's the worst that can happen? She wondered half-heartedly.
A/N: Again, thanks so so much for reading and I apologize profusely for having posted this a day late!
