Chapter 1

Sakura's POV

I woke up with a start, my heart beat erratically in my chest. I hadn't even realized that I'd been crying, as I wiped my face, my tears were mixed with a thin sheen of sweat.

The dream had just felt so real which only brought more tears and heartache. I felt as if someone had knocked the air out of my lungs because I could hardly breathe as I gasped for air in-between sobs.

Ulquiorra. He had been my friend, my first crush and the person I'd always looked up to. He was an important person in my life until he died. And to this day his death weighed heavily on my heart because if it wasn't for me, then he'd still be alive.

That's why seeing him again, even if it was only in my dreams, only brought up this remorse I felt. He died saving my life.

I remember that day clearly. I was in the forest picking flowers for my mother. Ulquiorra was with me, just as he always was, keeping a close watch on me. He was my protector and I cared about him.

He spent so much time with me and my family because things with his family were not so great. His stepfather was a drunk who hit him if he didn't get his way and his mother spent her days catering to his every whim, afraid to go against her husband not even for her son's sake. She was afraid that her son could suffer the consequences. In time he became part of our family. My parents adored Ulquiorra. They saw him like a son and he became like my older brother but I never saw him like that.

He was only two years older than I was, freshly out of the Academy. A genin. He was one of the best of his year. Everyone said that he was powerful. A prodigy in his own right. He could have been a powerful ninja. If he hadn't died because of me.

It was my fault. He told me not to wander off too far into the forest but I hadn't listened. I was attacked by some rogue ninja who wanted to hold me for ransom, sell me into slavery or who knows what they would have done to me if Ulquiorra hadn't come to my rescue, I would be dead. I should be dead.

While he had finished off those ninja that hurt me, another struck him in the back. I could only watch in horror as Ulquiorra fell to the ground, blood pooling around him. I tried to scream but no sound came out of my lips. I managed to crawl to him before I lost consciousness.

When I regained consciousness, I was in the hospital. My mother sitting by the bed, her eyes red and puffy. She hugged me and cried. She told me I was lucky to be alive. Her words struck a nerve and I asked for Ulquiorra. That made her cry more. And then I knew that something was wrong. I got up and ran out of the room, looking for him and screaming his name. He wasn't anywhere. His mother sat there in the waiting room, her eyes dry of tears. When she saw me standing there, she started yelling at me, telling me that it was all my fault. I couldn't understand what she meant until a stretcher was wheeled out of a room and then I knew. Ulquiorra was dead and it was all my fault. He died because of me. Trying to protect me. I cried and wished that it had been me who died. Not him. I was devastated. His death had been my fault even if everyone told me otherwise. His mother later apologized to me. She said that she was hurt and she didn't mean what she said. He
was just doing what he had to. Protect others. That's what a ninja is supposed to do.

I forgave her but I still felt guilty. If only I'd had listened to him then he would be alive. At his funeral, I apologized to him but my words couldn't bring him back.

At his grave, I swore to be strong so no one else would die because of me. It took time for me to get over what had happened. I visited his grave everyday to spent time with him and get on with my life. After I graduated from the academy, I visited less frequently until I stopped altogether. I moved on with my life but never truly forgot him. He had always called me Saki. It was the nickname he had given me. After he died, I didn't let anyone call me that. It hurt too much.

I have been having strange dreams lately. All the same ones in that desert but this was the first time I had seen him. I don't know why but seeing him stirred feelings in me that I thought I had locked away after his death. But now, they have begun to resurface. After all these years, I still can't let go of this remorse I feel. Perhaps I will never forget and I believe that that is my punishment. To live with this guilt forever. Even in death, I'll never forget.

Ulquiorra's POV

What are these feelings that plague me? Is this pain I feel in my chest my heart? And who is that girl I keep seeing in my unconsciousness. I don't remember her but there is something about her that is familiar. Her face has been plaguing my thoughts for days. Her eyes reflect sadness and her voice haunts me. Ever since that woman, Orihime healed me and saved me from certain death with those strange powers of hers, after my fight with Ichigo Kurosaki. Her powers did something to me. She should have let me die. Then I wouldn't feel this way. I wouldn't be dreaming.

In this dream, I finally learned her name. My dream self knew her. I knew her. She was Sakura. A fitting name. Her hair was pink like the cherry blossom tree that she had obviously been named after.

Orihime reminded me of her. Every time I see her I see Sakura. I'm getting irritated. As the days pass by in this prison of mine, I think of her. New memories resurface. Jumbled memories that make absolute no sense at all. They are useless. Unnecessary baggage that only cause harm. Memories that I could do without in this solitary imprisonment that I live in.