Well, this is our last humour oneshot. To celebrate, I'm doing something I've wanted to do for quite some time.

Also, an Eldritch Abomination: /Main/EldritchAbomination

Review Replies;

Movie-Brat: Probably not, but we'll see. Thanks for reading!

Zim'sMostLoyalServant: They won't appear, but they'll still be important. :P Thanks for the review!

Cartooniac55: I liked writing Spoony. :D Thanks for reviewing!

TweenisodeOrange: Why? WHY? XD Thanks very much.

30/10/10 – And Now For a Public Service Announcement

E350 is not available right now. He has fled his house as a stowaway aboard Zim's ship, carrying enough cola with him to fill the Suez Canal.

Instead, here is a brief public service announcement.

Remember…Protect and Survive.

One: Eldritch Abominations Described.

An eldritch abomination is just like any other monster – only much bigger. They can also break your mind, your property and your planet.

Eldritch Abominations are also followed by a deadly phenomenon called 'death'. In large doses, death can be very demoralising.

You can protect yourself, your family and your property from 'death', by paying heed to the following instructions.

Two: The Warnings

These are the warning sounds you must recognise.

First; the attack warning. If an attack is expected, the sirens will sound the following audio file:

"OH GOD! OH GOD! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! RUN! DEAR GOD, RUN! AAAAAHHHH!"

Second; the death warning. Once the attack has run its course, the sirens will sound the following audio file:

"Oh no! Everyone's dead, DEAD! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Finally; the all-clear. When the immediate danger of attack or death has passed, you will hear the following audio file:

"…"

This signals the end of an immediate danger, but the thing may come back.

Here are the warning sounds again;

The attack: "OH GOD! OH GOD! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! RUN! DEAR GOD, RUN! AAAAAHHHH!"

The death: "Oh no! Everyone's dead, DEAD! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

The all-clear: "…"

Three: What to Do When the Warnings Sound

Although you heard it five seconds ago, here is a reminder of the attack warning. Here is the sound:

"OH GOD! OH GOD! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! RUN! DEAR GOD, RUN! AAAAAHHHH!"

When you hear the attack warning, you and your family must take cover at once. Do not stay out of doors. Do not go out and buy more doors, if you have misunderstood that last statement.

If you are caught in the open, lie down. You can at least relax before you die.

Here is an annoying reminder about death warnings:

"Oh no! Everyone's dead, DEAD! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

This sound indicates that death is expected.

When you hear it, you must stay in the safest position in the house. Keep the door shut, even though a monster could very easily breach it. Do not go outside the house until you are told it is safe. In other words, never ever leave your house.

Here, again, is the all clear warning:

"…"

When you hear this sound, you can leave your cover – but you'll probably be dead by then, so yeah.

Four: Stay at Home

Actually, on second thoughts, don't. Leave your home and get as far away from the abomination as is physically possible.

Five: Action after Warnings

A warning may come quite unexpectedly. You may be on the toilet, in the middle of open heart surgery or skydiving. We will now tell you what to do if a warning sounds when you are at home, and then we will explain what to do if you are out of doors. If you are in any of the three positions we previously mentioned – you're screwed. Sorry.

First; if you are at home. If attack is imminent, you will hear the attack sound, like…eff it, you know what it sounds like.

Take cover at once. Send your young children to the basement and turn off the gas and electricity at the mains. Otherwise, we'll charge your next-of-kin with the gas bill.

Shut your windows, draw your curtains, and shut your eyes. It will not make an ounce of difference, but it will make you feel a bit better. Then, go to the basement and see how many times you can say psalms/salah/mantras/the llama song before you die.

Now, this is what you should do if you are out of doors when the warning sounds.

When you hear the attack warning, take cover in the nearest building. If there is no building nearby, try to find solid cover – for example, you could cower under a bridge. If you cannot find any solid cover…you're screwed.

When the all-clear sounds, you may go outside again. You will probably need to clear corpses off your front lawn anyway.

Six: Casualties

If anyone dies while an attack is occurring, throw their body out the window. Otherwise, they will stink up the house, and that would never do.

Seven: There is no Seven

WARNING: Following the advise of this video will result in immediate and painful death.

Tune in tomorrow for the final 'shot of this month!