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"Harper, what the heck is wrong with you?"

Alex Russo poked her friend in the arm with her index finger, the other hand firmly holding onto bowl of cereal she was eating. The words came muffled through a full mouth of Cap'n Crunch. Harper could never figure out how her best friend managed to stay so skinny after eating so much and so often, but she assumed it was magic.

"What are you talking about?" Harper asked, sliding away to avoid another poke (and potential spit residue with Alex's response). The best friends sat on the couch; Alex with her feet on the table, Harper's curled beneath her body. The duo had a habit of staying up late on the weekends, watching bad movies, playing games or just enjoying each other's company.

Harper would lend Alex her shoulder when she needed it, whether the topic was boys, school or the wizard's concerns with magic lessons. Though Harper had limited knowledge on those topics, she offered her best advice to her bestie – knowing, of course, that she probably wouldn't take it. At the very least she knew Alex appreciated the concern, and that was enough for Harper.

"You're totally zoned out and not listening to my heartwarming story," Alex replied, brushing strands of hair from her face before shoveling another spoonful of cereal into her mouth. She placed the bowl - now only full of milk – onto the table, abandoning it once and for all. "You haven't even answered me for, like, 10 minutes."

Had Harper really zoned out? Sure, she'd been thinking about Zeke again, but she couldn't have acted like such a space case for so long.

In fact, she was sure she hadn't.

"Alex, what are you talking about?" Harper replied, eyes wide in amusement as she pointed an accusatory finger at the Russo girl. "You weren't telling a heartwarming story. You were making up your own words to this telenovela!" She motioned to the screen, where a couple's romantic moment had just been interrupted by a man with a curly mustache. "You said, 'Oh, Armando! Why can't you grow facial hair like Raúl?'"

Harper raised her pitch, mimicking both the character and Alex's impressions in one go.

"To which I replied," Harper lowered her voice to a growl, "'When will you stop growing facial hair, Esmeralda?'"

Alex let out a loud laugh, pointing at the screen in amusement. "That chick totally has a mustache, you're right." She crossed her arms, shaking her head as she allowed herself to sink comfortably into the couch. "Hi-def is not treating her well."

Safe from Alex Russo cereal spit, Harper slid back over toward her friend.

"I said that like a minute ago, Alex," she told her, though she couldn't help but laugh at both their game and her friend's confusion. "Why would you say I wasn't listening?"

"You had that look in your eyes like you were thinking about something else," Alex responded, waving a hand in front of her own brown eyes as if to demonstrate 'that look.' "And you totally were, even if you won't admit it."

"No, I was," she replied simply.

"Don't lie!" Alex said instantly, her brain not even registering what was said. It sunk in quickly. "Wait, what? Then what was it?"

Harper was hesitant to answer. She assumed the last thing Alex wanted to talk to was boys, especially since the last time Harper pointed out a cute guy Alex went on a rant about how 'Sure, guys are cute, but only until they turn into a werewolf and get in a fight with a vampire.' Harper hadn't watched "Diagnosis Murder" since, though she was almost positive Dick Van Dyke wasn't a werewolf.

However, Harper knew she had to answer. Alex was giving her that look – the kind of look that just made her feel guilty and caused her to tell her everything, even if she didn't want to.

"It's guy stuff," she warned, offering her friend a sympathetic smile. "I just…I don't know. How are you supposed to tell if a guy is into you?"

Even if her own love life was rocky, Alex was more than happy for her best friend if she found a guy to crush on. As long as it wasn't her brother, of course.

"If it's Justin, I'll save you the trouble - he's not," Alex answered, laughing at her own joke before noticing the glare she was receiving. "Sorry, sorry. Who is it?"

"It's no one. It's hypothetical."

Alex knew better than to believe that. Rather than pry, she took a moment to run through a list of guys they both knew, cross-referencing it with ones Harper acted awkward around. Her brain was like a catalog of boy knowledge thanks to TV shows and teen magazines.

"I'm gonna tell Zeke you think he's hypothetical, whatever that means," Alex finally said.

Sure, Alex knew she used to like Zeke, but Harper was honestly surprised her best friend had remembered that tidbit of information. At the same time, Harper knew better than to underestimate Alex, and it really wasn't the worst thing in the world if she knew her feelings still remained.

"Okay, I like Zeke," Harper replied after a moment, but quickly turned to point an accusatory finger at Alex. "But don't tell him, Alex. I'm serious. And don't do magic! And…and…" She was running out of things to order. "Take your feet off the table! People eat from there!"

Alex just laughed – of course she wasn't going to tell, nor was she going to remove her feet. Her arms reached out toward her friend, pulling her into a side hug. "Oh, Armando," Alex mumbled through her laughter. "You know I'll be here for you, right? If you need anything?"

"Of course, Esmeralda," Harper replied as she rested her head upon her shoulder. "Just stick by my side and everything will be fine."

"I promise."

The sound of footsteps traveled down the stairs, and Alex turned to see Zeke standing there with his overnight bag. "Hey Alex, hey Harper," he said cautiously, not sure what moment he was interrupting. Perhaps girls always hug while watching telenovelas – he knew nothing about women.

"Zeke, hello!" Alex quickly stood up, causing Harper to fall onto the couch. "I was just going to bed! Good night!"

Harper stood up as quickly as she fell, her hands brushing her hair out of her face as she sighed. "Alex, it's still early." She glanced at the clock, shaking her head as her best friend moved toward the stairs. "You haven't even eaten your second dinner yet."

"That's true," Alex realized, changing courses to head to the refrigerator. She pulled out a tiny take-out box – who knew what was in it or whose it was – then moved toward the stairs once more. "Can't forget second dinner. How else will I avoid the sleep-munchies? Thanks, Harper. G'night!"

Harper let out another sigh, though it quickly turned into a quiet, nervous laugh as she sat back down on the couch.

She was going to kill Esmeralda for this.