AN: I was feeling restless this week as I'm going back to school tomorrow and this came to me...make sure to read the AN at the bottom. Thanks for all the reviews guys! You make my life much better. I'm getting all teary-eyed so you'll have to excuse me.
"Bella and I have decided to buy a house together." I announced to my father and brother at our weekly get together. Bella was with my mother and Rose in the kitchen chatting. My father choked on his drink and Emmett snickered as if it was the funniest thing he had ever heard.
They were not the reactions that I had hoped for, but beggars cannot be choosers.
Emmett grinned at me and patted my back, "You poor boy. Now you'll be become a slave in and out of the bedroom." I rolled my eyes and decided not to bother telling him that I was not a slave.
Sometimes I really wondered what Rose saw in him, but the one time I asked, she had just told me that he had great dimples - because that was such a good reason to marry a guy.
"Isn't a bit soon?" Dad asked. I raised my eyebrows.
"You married mum after five months and we've been together for eight. It's not like we're getting married and popping out the kids mum's so obsessed that we are going to have."
Emmett patted me again and said, "I am so glad I am not you. It must be so stressful."
I shot him a look, but as per usual, he ignored it and just grinned away. That guy was just way too happy about me experiencing any sort of pain.
My dad continued as if he didn't hear Emmett - a talent I wished I had. "Yes, but I must point out that our situation was a bit different," I shrugged unperturbed. I knew he didn't mean it in a bad way; he just wanted me to be cautious.
"Maybe so, but what me and Bella have works for us. She wanted a puppy and so I asked her to move in with me. We compromised…," correction I compromised, "And we decided that if we were to take a step forwards, we might as well not do anything half assed." Emmett made the sound of a whip and said in a singsong voice, "Pussy whipped."
Just then, the girls came out looking all secretive and I noticed Bella was giving me a bit of a stink eye.
"What are you men talking about?" my mother asked all cheerfully.
I shrugged, "I was just telling dad how me and Bella have decided to buy a house together." Queue the loud screaming from my mother who threw her arms around me and hugged me tightly.
"Oh my gosh, oh my gosh. Do you realize how long I've been waiting for this day?" She whipped round to face Bella, "Darling I'm an interior designer as I told you before. I could design your house for you. This is going to be so great." Her mind seemed to drift off after her little rant. If I had thought Bella's reaction had been amusing then my mum was down right frightening.
She had that far away look on her face that she only wore when she went to, 'Let's visit Edward's future and see all the wonderful things in it' land. Dad ushered her into the house probably to lie down and Bella gave me a look that made my balls shrink back in protest.
"We need to talk," she said icily. She turned and walked into the house with Rose, who shot me a triumphant grin before disappearing into the house.
I groaned wondering what I had done to piss her off this time.
"Fuck man! I thought she was going to castrate you."
I grunted unhappily. "The last time she gave me a look like that she cut me off from sex for two weeks."
He whistled and patted my back, "You obviously dug your grave and now you have to lie in it."
I gave him an incredulous look, "It's I've made my bed and now I have to lie in it. Where the hell did you get graves from?"
He held his hands up defensively, "Hey don't take out your frustration on me. I wasn't the one who pissed her off."
I rubbed a hand over my face, "I'm sure she'll tell me when we leave." Little did I know how right I was.
As soon as we walked into her apartment, she slammed me against the door that had barely closed and glared at me, "You are in so much trouble Edward Cullen," she hissed.
She took a step back, "Go the playroom now."
With that, she turned her back and stomped into her room slamming the door behind her. I swallowed and walked quickly into the playroom unbuttoning my shirt as I went. I couldn't quite figure out what exactly I had done wrong. I had been on my best behavior.
Hell, had I not given into her stupid idea of getting a puppy?
I was getting myself worked up and I knew it. Why couldn't women be straightforward? Everything had to be a fucking riddle that you had to work out. I finished with my shirt and my fingers deftly worked on my belt before I pushed my pants down on the floor.
I sighed knowing that she most probably would not be pissed off for no reason. I toed off my shoes and socks before neatly stacking all my clothes on the chair in the corner. All I was wearing now was my boxers and my cuff.
I dipped my fingers under my boxers and pushed them down before going to kneel in the middle of the room in my submissive position. I waited patiently for her to emerge and a minute later, I heard the sound of her heels as she came towards me.
"Would you like to know why I am pissed off Edward?" I kept my eyes on the ground and waited for her to continue. "I'm pissed off at you because you fucking told your brother and father that I was your Domme."
My head shot up in confusion. That's why she was pissed? Okay, I am taking back my earlier statement about her being pissed off for a good reason. Plus, why the fucking hell were we doing this in the playroom? She was pissed off about something that had nothing to do with the playroom or anything that had happened in the playroom and fuck if she was not blurring the lines.
There were carefully constructed rules, ones that she should not be messing with. If she was pissed off at me about telling brother and my father then she should be able to talk about it without resorting to this.
This made me annoyed because I knew exactly why she was doing it. She wanted to take out her anger and frustration on me without me being able to do anything about it. I loved Bella, I really did, but right now, I was pissed off. I stood up and turned round to face her.
She took a step back in surprise not expecting me to do anything like this. I brought myself up to my full height leaving her at my shoulders and took a step forwards.
"What the fuck are you doing Bella?" I asked harshly. She blinked still in shock from my bold move. I had never stepped out of line in such a manner before and it seemed that her brain could not process the fact that I had. I kept walking forwards forcing her to stumble backwards until her back hit the desk.
She seemed to snap out of her trance then and she placed a hand on my chest and tried to- unsuccessfully I might add - push me backwards. "What the fuck are you doing?" She spat back venom coating her tone. I raised an eyebrow and placed both my hands on the desk beside her, effectively caging her.
"Stopping you from doing something incredibly stupid." I spat back with equal venom.
She narrowed her eyes at me and crossed her arms over her chest, "What exactly is this stupid thing that you're stopping me from doing?" she arched her brow and gave this really annoying look, like boredom mixed with distain.
"Maybe the fact that you are blurring the lines of this relationship."
She looked taken aback by my statement before getting defensive, "No I'm not." I snorted disbelievingly, "Go back and take a look at what has happened in the last ten minutes. You're trying to punish me for something I did outside of the playroom in the playroom."
She went quiet and looked away with a frown on her face. Her lip was placed between her teeth and she seemed frustrated by something.
I sighed, "What are you thinking?" I asked quietly. She looked back at me a frown still fresh on her face.
"Being with you is so fucking complicated!" she said heatedly, "Before you, my life was easy, simple, my subs came, we did a scene, they left and I didn't have to see them for another week. With you, it's like you consume every single aspect of my life. I cannot escape you! You are everywhere and I don't know how to cope with it. I don't do relationships; I especially don't do them with subs."
She paused breathing heavily and I moved away from her feeling hurt.
"Is that what I am to you?" I asked quietly, "A fucking burden. Something you can't get rid of."
She ran a hand through her hair and sighed. "That's not what I meant," she said.
I scoffed at that. "It sure as fucking hell sounded like it. Fuck Bella, you think you can do just as you please and everyone will fall in behind you and go along with it. You cannot always get what you want! That's how life works. I love you, I really fucking do, but there is only so much bullshit I can put up with. I comply to your every whim. Do you think I want a dog? Do I look like the kind of guy who would want one? No, but I am getting one because you want it so badly. So make your fucking mind up. Either you want me in your life or you don't. Relationships are not easy. You have to work at them and sometimes you feel lost and hell, half the time I feel like running a fucking mile. It's normal to want space Bella. Everyone needs a little 'me' time, but I do not force you to call me every night or stay over. You choose to, just like you chose to go away to California for the weekend. You initiated it and yet here you stand saying that I am 'cramping you.' Take a good fucking look in the mirror before you go around telling me that I'm suffocating you."
I shook my head thinking that I was not getting through to her. I walked over to my clothes and picked up my boxers. I did not look at her as I got dressed and she did not make a noise even though I could feel her gaze burning a whole into my back. I smoothed down my shirt and spoke, still refusing to look at her. It hurt that she felt like this and I swallowed the lump in my throat.
"I'm going home." I stated simply, numbly, "Call me when you make a decision." My voice was emotionless and I could feel myself cracking under the strain of the weight that had just been placed on my chest.
I squared my shoulders and turned towards the door. I had barely made it to the door when she spoke. "Wait!" I paused not bothering to turn and look at her. "Please stay," she whispered. I could hear that she was crying through her voice and I forced myself not to soften. It would be easier to severe ties with her if I did not let that hold on me grow.
"I thought you needed space." I said coldly.
Silence permeated the room for a minute before I felt a hand on my shoulder. I stiffened and finally turned and looked at her. She wrapped her arms around my stomach and buried her head in my chest.
"I'm so sorry. So fucking sorry. I am just so scared of this, of us, and I haven't been able to think straight recently. I haven't written a word of my book in over a month. I wasn't lying when I said that you consume me. Even when you are not around all I do is think of you and it frightens me how dependent I am on you. You make me feel things that I have never felt before. I don't know how to react to it and I'm sorry I lashed out at you like that I just don't want your family to hate me in any way and people tend to react negatively when they find out."
She let out another sob and clenched one of her fists into my shirt tightly as if she was afraid I would just leave. I sighed and wrapped my arms around her.
"Bella, its okay to be afraid. It happens to the best of us. All I am asking is just don't push me away. What you said hurt me and I don't want you to feel like you have to hide what you think, but please just think about my feelings first, okay?"
She nodded and looked up at me with her watery, brown eyes, "Make love to me Edward. Show me how much I mean to you."
I slid my hands wordlessly down her back and cupped her ass, pulling her up until she wrapped her legs around my waist. Her eyes stared into mine and I turned and walked us to her bedroom. The emotions swirling in her eyes showed me just how vulnerable she was right now and I kissed her gently before laying her on the bed.
I pulled my shirt over my head before covering her body with mine. I placed gentle kisses all over her face, "I love you," I murmured brokenly, feeling my own emotions muddle up and speak volumes inside of me.
The crushing weight had eased itself slightly, but still lingered until she said, "I love you too." She cupped my face and leaned up to kiss me. Soft lips molded together without hesitancy as our hands wandered slowly taking in every crease and dip in the others body.
The rest of our clothes were removed at some point so that skin touched skin, heat combined, sighs and moans became our symphony, the notes hitting crescendos. Our lips were fused together and her hands gripped my hair tightly as if it was her only lifeline to stop her from sinking into the unknown.
"I'm sorry," she murmured repeatedly between kisses creating lyrics to the prelude of our song.
"Don't be." I answered my voice low and husky making an underline harmony.
My mouth sort out her pebbled flesh and I sucked on her delicate skin as my fingers made a line down her stomach before dipping between the lips of heaven. She arched her back high into the air and I moved my fingers slowly within her, relishing the fact that I had someone to share such a special moment with.
I withdrew my fingers and moved up her body. I lined myself up with her and slid in easily. This was what chemistry and connection was all about. The feeling when you come together with someone and it feels like it is the first time all over again. The feel of your heart expanding, as you think of how perfectly you fit together, no other would be like this. This, everything we were experiencing, was love.
I didn't need a textbook or some sort of doctor to tell me how to find something so simple as this. I had managed to stumble across something so great and what had first been lust had changed, expanded, into what we now experienced.
When people find out about the dynamics of our relationship, I am sure some will laugh and some will leave, not wanting to be associated with some like me, but let me tell you something. I would rather trade a million years with Angela to have just one day, one hour, one minute, like this with Bella.
Unconventional? Yes. Do I regret doing it? No. It was and still is a life changing experience that I will treasure for the rest of my life. Being with Bella was not a choice, it was a necessity. She told me that I consumed her thoughts; little did she know that she was the only thing I could concentrate on. Every day I would look at that clock and count the days, hours, and minutes, until I could see her again and hold her in my arms.
I was irrevocably changed and you know what? I would not have it any other way.
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AN: I listened to James Blunt while writing this and no matter what anyone says, I like him. I also listened to Paramore's only exception and a bit of Emimen. This in fact the end of the story...sad I know, but there will be some outtakes. So if there is anything that you would like me to add onto this story-say the time they first met when they were seventeen or just some sort of D/s scene- then just review or PM me. I'll probably write an epilogue so don't look at me like that and hurry up and tell me how disappointed you are in your review...
In other news I am officialy posting the continuation of First Time today. It's called Parental Guardian.
Summary: "Ever had a fantasy about a Father figure? Possibly your own? I have and still do. Ten years older than me and still sexy. Fell in love. Legal? No. Amazing? Yes. Now its time to pull it together and make him fall in love back. Collaborated with SpunkRansom101. ExB Mature.