Okay, it took me forever to update, and I apologize so much for that. However, I do have my reasons:
1: I had mock exams, which I needed to revise for, etcetera.
2: It was Christmas, and I stopped working on this for a while to work on my Christmas story.
3: I got distracted by Final Fantasy VI. Eheheh...
4: This chapter was damn near impossible for me to write.
In fact, I'm still not happy with this chapter. But I've re-written it so many times, I think I'll go insane if I try again. Well, insaner.
Oh, and YAY for XIII being released! :D There shall be nil spoilers in this story. Nil. I guarantee!
So, is there anything else I need to say? -Thinking-
I don't think so... ONTO THE CHAPPY!!!!
When Noctis was young, he had discovered an escape route from his bedroom. It involved swinging out of the window that was often seized solid, onto a vent and shuffling along before clambering down a few pipes.
He hadn't used the escape route since his mid-teens, normally choosing to leave the castle out of the back exit. But that would mean passing some guards, something he wasn't in the mood to do.
Noctis dropped off the water pipe and landed in the back alley behind the castle, where the bins were kept. With a quick glance around the area, he jogged off.
He hadn't wandered freely through the streets of his country since his mother died. Not without someone with him, or with some kind of mission in mind. It was nice, seeing the kingdom that he would, one day, look after. To see the thing that would be the most important thing in his life.
Somehow, it seemed slightly bleak. In fairy tales, the prince always married a princess, and they lived happily ever after as they wisely guarded their kingdom. But marriages broke down, people had duel motives, there were the problems with the crystals, and you always had to look over your shoulder. Maybe she had a point. Trusting people didn't always seem wise.
He scowled and hit himself in the side of the head with his palm. He had to stop thinking about her. Just sort her out. Get her into a new country, and then just leave her alone. For good.
Noctis cleared his head with a sharp shake, and walked deeper into the city. Now was not the time to think of such things. Lightning wasn't his main problem. He had to focus on the challenge of Etro and the crystals.
Lightning hated parks, but there wasn't anywhere else to go. The streets were too open and exposed. She couldn't risk breaking into anywhere...
But then why did she decide to leave in the first place? Nothing she did made sense anymore.
She sighed and leant her head back, staring at the trees. So this was autumn: wet, cold, and full of leaves. What fun. She thought autumn was meant to be a 'crisp' month. Crap. Both the month and the description were full of crap.
Lightning sat up and shook her head, clearing her thoughts. She needed a clear mind. She needed to think, without soggy leaves of all things getting in her way.
Facing Phoenix. Getting revenge for what they had done to her. How dare they? How dare they try to kill her, when she had done everything they had asked her for years?
Every order, assassination, sabotage mission, she had done without complaint, even when her conscience screamed at her from deep within. Except one. One failure was enough for her to be written off. She had failed to kill one person, for the first time in her life. So she was a failure.
If she killed him now, could she go back? Would she want to?
Being on the run was so hard, having to look over your shoulder every day. Being tracked down, marked for life. Now that she thought about it, it wasn't that different to being a l'cie.
Lightning chuckled quietly to herself. She should be used to it. It was the same wherever she went. There's a l'cie. Kill the l'cie. There's the assassin. Kill the assassin.
Someone grabbed her head and tilted it backwards.
"What," Snapped Noctis, glaring right at her. "The hell are you doing here?"
Yep, he's pissed.
"I'm getting fresh air." She replied, keeping her gaze steady. "What about you?"
"I am out here, worrying about what the hell to do with you and how to keep you hidden!"
Lightning blinked.
"Whoops."
"'Whoops' is damn right." He sighed. "Do you want to get caught? Is that it? Do you want to get me into an even bigger dilemma?"
"Why would I want that?"
"Revenge?"
"You're not the one I want revenge on." She sighed and pulled out of his grip. "Besides, if I got found out, so would Vanille. I wouldn't do that to her." Noctis hesitated, before climbing over the back of the bench to sit next to her.
"Hypocrite." He decided. "You say you trust no-one, yet you're so protective and trusting of Vanille."
"Trusting?" Lightning snorted. "Protective, yes. Trusting? No."
"Why are you so protective?"
"I have my reasons."
"Which are?"
"Go to hell."
"I only asked." He sighed and looked up at the sky. "No moon."
"No stars either." Lightning paused. "Is it always like this?"
"Like what?"
"So... dead." She frowned. "On Pulse there was always something... it was alive. Not like this."
Noctis felt protective of his Kingdom, and instinctively leapt to its defence.
"It is alive. Maybe not in the way you think of it. Maybe there aren't beasts and plants everywhere. Maybe it's quiet. But there are people here; they're this Kingdom's life."
"There's no nature though." The assassin looked up at the sky. "No stars, no plants... No wonder you're having trouble with the crystal."
He stared at her, stunned both by what she said and the ease she had said it with.
"How did you-"
"Know? I'm not just an assassin, I'm a l'cie as well. I can smell it. Your crystal is rotting." She glanced at him. "So what are you going to do about it?"
"That's none of your business." The Prince's stare turned to a glare.
"So you don't know?"
"Shut up." He hissed. "Now." Lightning raised an eyebrow, but, for the first time in weeks, did as she was told. "No. I don't know what to do."
"You're screwed."
"Yes." Noctis sighed. "Yes, we are."
"... That's why you're salvaging crystal fragments? To keep it alive?"
"And to keep them away from the marauders."
"It won't work."
"I know." He frowned. "Why am I telling you this?"
"Because you're a fool. You shouldn't trust a l'cie. We're all dangerous, right?" She sat upright. "Or at least, that's what the stories say."
"'Not all l'cie are bad. But all l'cie are dangerous.'" Noctis quoted, remembering the passage from a book he'd studied.
"Including me."
"You're not bad."
"That's what you think." Lightning sighed. "I'm not just bad. I'm a failure too." He glanced at her, confused by what she meant.
"... I don't think there is a real bad. A real evil. Not anymore." He said, switching back to the other aspect of their conversation. "'There is nothing good or evil, but thinking makes it so'."
"Whoever said that is a moron."
"That was the greatest playwright ever."
"He's a moron." She smirked. Noctis grinned. "There's an evil. It just the level of evil that matters."
"Right..." He wrinkled his nose. "You should get some rest."
"So should you." The soldier didn't seem in a hurry to move.
"Astrum's quite far away."
"I've learnt to manage without sleep."
"Lightning, get off the streets before you get caught." He snapped. There was a pause before she pushed herself off the bench. "Goodnight."
"Yeah... night." And with that she vanished into the park.
She confused him. Constantly. There were occasions when she'd kill him without a second thought, and times when she seemed to treat him... like an equal. A peer. Almost like a friend.
Noctis groaned and rubbed his head. She made his brain ache and his life more complicated. So why did he still want to help her?
Because she intrigues you.
Why did she intrigue him?
Because she's stubborn, she yells at you, and you find her entertaining.
Shouldn't those be reasons he hated her?
You're just weird.
Oerba Yun Fang was nervous.
She'd never done such a high level assassination before. Low level politicians, medium level threats. That's what she dealt with.
Not royalty. Not royalty that one of the top assassins in Phoenix couldn't kill. But it was a start, right? A step up to better things.
Fang sighed and prepared herself. Tenebrea was a long journey.
Lightning was lost.
She had ducked into a side alley to avoid a group of people, who now that she thought about it were probably drunk, she had lost her mental trail.
Damn it.
"Okay..." She whispered, wandering through the dimly lit streets. "I'm near the street where we met up with Sazh... and... I'm utterly lost..."
At which point she saw a large building looming in front of her, far better lit than the others.
And I've just stumbled in front of the palace, where many of the people inside want my head on a silver platter.
Lightning turned to leave before feeling a hand slam down onto her shoulder.
Damn.
"What are you doing here?" The voice growled into her ear. "You're trespassing in a restricted area."
"I... I got lost." She stated, feeling the grip on her shoulder tighten. Damn it, she was going to give him a punch in the face if he didn't leave her alone.
"Right. Lost." He snorted. "And the sword you carry?" The soldier winced: She'd forgotten about that. "Turn around-"
"Is there a problem?" Noctis stepped seemingly out of nowhere, an expression on his face that made Lightning's heart sink. She was in trouble.
"I found this woman wandering around this area." He explained.
"I wasn't wandering! I-"
"-Was coming to visit me." The Prince suddenly said. "She must have gotten a bit lost..." Noctis grabbed her arm in a vice grip. "Excuse me."
"Um... of course your highness." The soldier let go of Lightning's shoulder as the young man dragged her into the palace.
"Not one word." He hissed into her ear, before guiding her through a maze of corridors and staircases at a ridiculous speed. Her back ached.
"You said not to get caught." She whispered. "And look who's dragging me through the palace."
"Shut up now." He opened a door and pushed her into a dark room, following her and closing the door behind her.
"I got lost." Lightning said before Noctis could start talking. "I didn't decide it would be fun to wander past the place that put a black spot on me."
"How could you have gotten lost?"
"By trying to stay out of the way of some drunkards!"
"Oh for...!" The Prince growled and pinched his nose. She sighed and glanced around the room. It was dark, cold, and...
"Is this your room?" She asked, looking at the wardrobe, bed and desk. Noctis nodded, not looking at her. "You don't like it?"
"I don't spend a lot of time in it." He glared up at the ceiling. She rubbed her stinging back, wincing as her hands passed over the scars. "You okay?"
"Back hurts."
"Weakling."
"Oh shut up." Lightning snapped, clenching her fists. "It's all your fault anyway!"
"My fault?" He frowned. "How is it my fault?"
"I got whipped to within an inch of my life because-" She paused. "Because I couldn't kill you."
"I thought they smothered you."
"The first time you idiot." She snarled. Noctis raised an eyebrow.
"Oh. Right." He sighed. "Well, I didn't ask you not to kill me. Although I appreciate it."
"I know." The soldier wasn't talking to him, more to herself. The Prince watched her for a minute. Without a word, he sighed and headed into the bathroom.
He needed to think. And at least the bathroom was quiet.
Vanille slept and dreamed.
She dreamed of the crystal hunters that had come after her. She dreamt of meeting Snow and Lightning, becoming friends. She dreamt of the mission that had gone wrong, of Snow's betrayal. Fal'Cies, plots and pawns on a chessboard.
And something in the pit of her stomach told her that neither Phoenix, nor the fal'Cie were finished yet.
Lightning was sitting on the edge of the bed. Nervous and out of place, she waited for Noctis to come back.
She loathed being left alone with nothing to do. Nothing to start, to finish, because then her mind started wandering. And she hated it when her mind started wandering, because that's when she started drifting back.
That's when she thought the most about Serah. And how she failed.
Lightning felt into a pocket in her jacket and pulled out the photo. Creased, soft and faded with age. But it was all she had left of her sister.
Her dad had sold the necklace. He sold all of her sisters' clothes and possessions for money. And she hadn't done a thing about it. Just sat and watched, too scared and numb to do anything.
Her sister had died, and it was her fault. She may not have pulled the trigger, but she shouldn't have let her wander off.
"Why did you hate us that much...?" Lightning muttered, looking down at the photo.
"What?" Noctis had re-entered the room without her noticing.
"Nothing."
"Doesn't sound like nothing – What's that?" He plucked the photo from her hands before she could react.
"Give that back right now!" The assassin was on her feet in an instant, fists clenched and ready to fly.
"Shush!" The Prince placed a finger on her lips. "You're in the middle of the castle, remember?" A frown. "... Who's that?"
"My sister." Lightning took the opportunity to snatch the photo back and return it to her pocket.
"You never mentioned a sister."
"It's not important." She stared at the floor.
"Your sister isn't important?"
"She's gone." The soldier shut her eyes for a moment.
"You mean dead." Noctis asked. She stayed silent for a few minutes.
"You think I'm stupid not to trust people." She eventually said, sitting back down on the edge of the bed. "You don't understand why I refuse to do it. So I'll explain. But you won't like it."
"You don't have-" He was silenced by a shake of her head. He hesitantly sat down next to her.
"When Serah was born, I promised myself I'd look after her." Lightning began quietly. "I was her big sister, it was my duty. My mother left when I was two, just a few weeks after Serah was born. My grandmother used to come and look after us, but she died when I was six. By then, I was used to looking after her. I pretty much ran the house; my dad didn't really care about us much. He gave us some money, but most of it went to paying off his gambling debts... and making new ones. But Serah and I looked after each other. Well," The soldier shrugged. "I guess Serah looked after me. I always got into fights."
"You're not too different now." He chuckled lightly, stopping the second she glared at him.
"Funny."
"Sorry." He lay back on the bed and watched her.
Lightning harrumphed and looked away for a minute. She sighed and lay back onto the bed too, choosing to stare up at the ceiling.
"One night, when I was about twelve, some men broke into our house. They were loan sharks, people our father had been borrowing money from – But he hadn't paid a penny back. They came into our room and beat us up as a warning. They said if he didn't find a way of paying the money, they'd rip us apart."
She shut her eyes in an attempt to stop them stinging. Next to her, Noctis had gone very still, but she barely noticed.
"About a week later..." The soldier faltered, before taking a breath and plunging on. "We were messing about in the park, just having some fun. I stopped paying attention for a moment and she was gone. I searched everywhere, but I never saw her again – Only her necklace. The police found her dumped up by the railway tracks. She'd been strangled." An awkward pause passed as he searched for words and she tried to calm down.
Noctis remained silent, choosing to wrap an arm around her shoulder. Lightning squeezed her eyes shut and dug her nails into her palm, trying to distract herself from the tears that were starting to fall.
"It was the worst day of my life. I couldn't function for weeks." She took in a shaky breath and sighed. "I didn't realise that they were keeping a low profile. I didn't realise that was their warning. Not until another two years had passed. They visited my dad again demanding more money, telling him... They'd killed one daughter; they had no issues killing the other. He said he didn't care; it was one less mouth to feed. So I ran."
Noctis pulled her gently into something that was similar to a hug. She was starting to shake now, the tears threatening to take over her completely.
"I ended up on the streets and stayed there for about a year. But I couldn't take it, I kept thinking about Serah, about how it was my fault. I knew they'd come after us, but I let her wander off and now she was dead. I didn't have a purpose, a prospect, a future. I wanted out, and that's exactly what I tried to do. Snow found me, brought me to Phoenix for treatment and... Well, they gave me a purpose, so I took it."
Her face was buried in Noctis' shirt, which was absorbing the tears flowing from her eyes. It was the first time she'd talked about Serah. It tore lumps out of her whenever she thought about it, and as for talking about it...
"I hate him." She sobbed. "And I – I killed her! I didn't pay attention, I never..."
"Lightning, you didn't kill her." Noctis muttered, rubbing her back. "That wasn't you. It wasn't your fault."
"I was meant to look after her."
"It wasn't your job to look after her. You tried-"
"But I failed." The woman took a deep breath to calm down. "That's what you're saying."
"I never said you failed." He started as she pulled away, deliberately not looking at him.
"That's what you meant. I failed. I failed in looking after Serah and I failed in my attempts to kill you."
"That's not what I meant-"
"Whatever." Lightning turned on her side away from the Prince. The dead air between them was extremely heavy, as Noctis gradually became more irritated.
"Lightning. In case you haven't noticed, I am risking my own life to save yours. I'm not sure why I'm doing it, but I'm helping you. So stop twisting everything against me whenever I open my mouth!"
Another pause.
"Sorry." The assassin sighed and wiped her eyes. "I just... I wish I didn't have to rely on you."
"I rather wish that too." He paused before gently tugging her back into an embrace. "But it's too late. I'm getting you somewhere safe." For a strong woman, she had a rather petite yet tall frame.
"And then," Lightning's voice was muffled somewhat as her face was pressed against his shoulder. "You'll leave."
"Yes."
"And I'll never see you again."
"... That's right." A small frown marred the Prince's features as the words fell out of his mouth.
Once he had left her in Astrum, she would be out of his life for good. He had been certain that had been what he wanted. Or at least, what he should want. Now though, he wasn't that sure.
My head aches. So do my eyes, they feel like they're on fire – Are they changing? Flickering? Perhaps that's why the hurt.
Maybe I should rest them, the light can make them hurt more. That's not a bad idea. Just to shut my eyes for a moment...
Why can't he say anything?
For a country that is permanently cold, their prince is surprisingly warm. Both as a person and his actual body temperature. It's odd, being this close to someone. Slightly uncomfortable, but reassuring – He's breathing very heavily...
He's fallen asleep.
I don't think I'll be sleeping very well tonight...
THISISALINE THISISALINE THISISALINE THISISALINE THISISALINE THISISALINE THISISALINE THISISALINE THISISALINE THISISALI-
... So yeah... XD
That should be the end of heavy Lightning angst for the foreseeable future, thank God. Man, why'd I make this story so hard to write...? T.T
And yes, Fang is making an appearance! I'm still undecided about Hope. I'd like to put him in, but I have no idea how...
Okay, quick announcement: This is the year 2010 - By the way, Happy New Year! - Which is the year I am sitting my GCSE's. Specifically, in May. Or is it June? :/
Anyway, the point is, now that I'm back at school, I am going to be revising like mad, and doing coursework, and then revising, then being told by my teachers how I'm doing shit but well at the same time, and then revising, and then - I'm just ranting now.
The point is, I have no idea how much time I'm going to have for fanfiction. So - This applies for everything - Updates are going to be completely and utterly random. I might upload two oneshots in a week, and then nothing for a month. Utter chaos. Please bear with me - I promise, once my GCSE's are over, I'll try and update regularly... ish.
Eh, you lot know what I'm like. Man, this is a long author's note...
It's snowing here! Well, snowy-ice. Like this snow ice mutant that....... Why do I always update in the middle of the night? -Slams head on desk-
Okay, I'll shut up now. Please review, and thanks for all the reviews I have recieved so far!
Peace out mo charas!