HELLO EVERYBODY! Soooooooooooo this is a first for me, I hope you enjoy, I'm open for suggestions, critics, etc, etc. please let me know what u think, thanx!
Today started like any other day since he left, since they all left, *sigh*. I did my daily ritual which consisted of waking up at 5:30am, making a coffee and eat a piece of bread or fruit. I rarely looked myself in the mirror; I don't really like what I see. My hair is still long and brown; I put it up in a ponytail and apply a little bit of mascara and lip-gloss. I went back into my room and saw him sleeping, resting after a long day of work.
It all started 8 years ago when Edward left me in the woods. I didn't exist for several months until I was finally brought back into the world by my father Charlie, he was going to send me to my mother Renee to Florida, but I didn't want to leave Charlie and I realized I was hurting him by my state. So, one day I just decided to step out and go to La Push and visit Jacob, I hoped he would receive me. When I got to Jacob's house he was surprised to see me but happy, he was just a ray of sunshine in my cloudy rainy life. Until one day Billy called me and told me he was sick and it was contagious so I couldn't visit him. I suddenly felt that hole in my stomach rip open more than it already was, I felt as if I was losing Jacob as well and I couldn't let that happen, I had to see him, I didn't care if I got infected too. I was shocked by what I found, he was a werewolf. After trying to figure it out since he couldn't tell me I just didn't know what to say or do. But we just kept going and went forward from there. I was invited to their council meetings and learned of myths and legend of his tribe, it was fascinating. Until one day Jacob and I were talking and he mentioned something like a read headed vampire that just kept evading them, and my brain snapped and I said without thinking "Victoria, oh my god, she came back, for me." Jacob didn't understand so I started explaining everything, after that my dad and I would spend our time at the reservation, Charlie was oblivious to everything of course, he was happy fishing on his days off. Jacob and the pack were trying to figure out how Victoria was able to get around them for so long. Until finally one day I was watching the news and realized that all that was happening in Seattle wasn't the work of any serial killer, it was newborns doing all the damage. Little by little, the pack would go into Seattle and look for the newborns and kill them, until they were able to trace Victoria and kill her too. I sensed a type of relief, as if something lifted off of my shoulders.
After everything that happened, I kept going to Forks High School and occasionally go out with Angela and Ben and Jacob and I, they were always nice and good-natured towards me and Jacob. Jacob and I grew closer and closer until he finally asked me to be his girlfriend. I was hesitant and tried to explain to him that I will never be whole, never be complete and will always be broken, he didn't care and said we could at least try. So, my time was always split between the reservation and Forks. Charlie and Billy were ecstatic that Jacob and I were 'together' and I was happy knowing they were happy. Well, as happy as I was going to get, I will forever carry the pain with me of not having him with me, making me whole. My senior year I didn't go to prom, it was just going to get emotional and decided not to go. I decided to attend the University of Washington in Seattle and would commute on the weekends between Seattle and Forks. I had to; Charlie just could not cook, so the weekends consisted of cooking for Charlie for the coming weeks, cleaning, doing laundry, doing homework, and hanging out with Jacob. Jake was finally back at school and was going to graduate high school this year, I was glad he was, he decided to go to the University of Washington with me. Everything went smoothly. I majored in English Literature since reading has always been a passion for me. On summers I would visit Renee and enjoy the sun for4 weeks out of the year, she would tell me she was proud of me and loved me very much. Last time I saw Renee was about a year ago when I graduated and went to mine and Jake's graduation; I don't know how he did it, but he took extra courses, day and night so he can graduate with me. He obtained a degree in Business Administration, since his dream was to own his own automotive repair shop.
After we graduated Jacob and I decided to get married, so my mom stayed until august to help me with the preparations for the wedding, Phil went back to Florida and came back for the wedding. The wedding was small and simple, not that I ever fantasized about my own wedding, but that's how I wanted it. The day of the wedding I was extremely nervous and Renee and Angela helped me with my hair, makeup and dress. The ceremony was held in the reservation. While I was waiting for Charlie I just stood in front of the window reminiscing the times that he would go through the window, caressing the frame and window, when all of a sudden I heard a noise in the woods, could it be…. Then Charlie went to my room and told me "Bella, I am so proud to have a daughter like you, I am happy that I get to share this important day with you. I love you Bells" a tear started streaming down his cheek and I started crying as well, "Oh dad, I love you too." "Now, now, it's your wedding day, please don't cry, Jacob is going to kill me if he sees you all red and puffy walking down the aisle, he's going to think I did something to you," a little smile smeared on his lips. "Dad, they are tears of joy, not sadness," joy because he told me he loved me and sadness because I still and always will love him. I started thinking if this is how a wedding to him would be like, but I suddenly started thinking of something else and Charlie and I finally went to the reservation to Jacob and mine's wedding. Only close friends, family and of course the pack attended, I even got to see Jacob's sisters, it was nice to see them again after so many years, since before I came to live in Forks.
At the end of September I received a letter from the Unalaska City School District, I was shocked when I read its contents. Jake came in and saw me sitting with my mouth open,
"Bells, what's wrong, is everything okay?" I just stared at him and said "would you be willing to relocate if I asked you to?"
"Why the question Bells, of course I would, I would do anything for you, you know that."
Damn, why did he have to be so understanding "Jake, I received a teaching position in the most unlikely place."
"Really, that's great! Where exactly?" Jake said. "Well, umm, in Unalaska, Alaska, and I can't believe it because it's one of the best schools in the whole United States. I wonder why and how…?" I contemplated in my head.
"Wow, Alaska, really? I thought you would want to go somewhere with a sun for warmer climate."
"Jake, why would I need a sun when I already have you." And it was true, he was my own personal sun who shines just for me, even though I don't feel just as he does for me, I am selfish that way, and I hate it but I can't be alone, I need my sunshine with me, I reached out to touch his cheek and gave him a kiss.
"Aww Bells, thank you, I love you. You know you have made me so happy by giving us a chance..." when I suddenly interrupted him, "Jake, please, don't, just please think about it and let me know by the end of the week, they can't wait long for a response."
At the end of the week we started packing after we did research on the city and decided that we should relocate. He was excited because there wasn't an automotive repair shop and wanted to finally start living our life together. Our life, Jacob and I….. Renee and Phil came from Florida and we all celebrated with Billy and said good bye to our family with promises of seeing each other soon.
We settled into a small two bedroom house which was perfect for Jake and I. when I went to our first teacher meeting I finally understood why I was chosen. One of my former professors from U of W recommended me for the job, he was originally from Unalaska. Our first year was good, easily set a routine: wake up and get ready, make breakfast, say bye to Jacob while he would get ready to finally start his business, and I would head out to the high school and teach English. One day I woke up and I couldn't believe it, I kept looking and looking, and reading and I didn't know if I should be happy or what other emotions are there, they were mixed but decided for happy. I took the day off and decided to surprise Jake and cooked a nice romantic meal with candles, I also decided to bake a cake, first time and hoped it would taste good enough. When I set up everything, 45 minutes before Jacob came home from work I took a shower and got ready to receive Jacob. I put on a nice pink shirt that hanged lose but accentuated my breast nicely with simple dressy pants and of course flats because I am still much the klutz. I was ready for him in front of the door when he opened the door to find a dimly lit room with me in front wearing a big smile on my face.
"Hi Jake, how was work?" I said. Jake just stared and said "what's all this for?" and I responded, "what, I can't surprise my husband with a nice meal after a long day at work?"
"Of course Bella, I'm just surprised that's all, pleased, but surprised." With a big grin on his face.
"Come, sit so we can start dinner," I served him dinner and we just talked about our day, until it was time for dessert, here goes nothing…..
"I'm going to get dessert from the fridge," breathe, breathe, inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale, I can do this, I can do this, it's a good thing, yes, yes it is…..
Placing the cake in front of Jake I tell him "can you please do the honors to cut the cake for me while I get the plates?" "Sure, of course Bella" I hand him the knife and I start walking toward the kitchen when I slowly turn to see his reaction, biting my bottom lip…..
He instantly drops the knife, places his hands on the side of our small dinner table and reads, reads it again, and then reads it out loud, "Congratulations honey, we're expecting….." he slowly turns his face to see me, and I'm seriously worrying about our dinner table when I see his face, his eyes, what was it, yes, wonderment, questioning,
"Bella, what are we expecting? Company? Is Charlie coming, are we going to receive visitors?" I just stared at him, hiding back laughter that was threatening to escape my lips when I say "no Jake, we're not expecting that kind of visitor, it's something more ummmm permanent…?" I just stare at him when I'm all of a sudden off the floor and going around in circles…
"Jake, you have to stop; I'm going to throw up, which is going to be a regular occurrence in the coming months. I want to wait until it starts by itself and not because you start it." He lays me down in the sofa and sits next to me apologizing while grabbing my hands…
"Wow, Bella, I don't even know what to say… we're going to be parents. I think this is the best dinner of my life." I could see a tear wanting to escape his eye when he breathes in, brings my hands to his mouth and kisses them and tells me he loves me. He then touches the side of my face and starts kissing my forehead, my eyes, then goes to the side of my cheeks until he finally arrives at my mouth and says "I love you Bella, I always will" and kisses me slowly and then it grows deeper. He picks me up and places my legs around his torso while kissing me and goes to our bedroom. He lays me down on our bed and turns off the lights, he knows I don't like them on, he doesn't like that but we compromised. He starts kissing me again and moves to my jaw, my ear, then kisses my shoulder and goes down my arm and fingers, doing the same thing to the other one. He starts taking off his shirt and starts to pull my shirt off me. He starts kissing my chest and moves to my right breast and starts licking it in a circle motion and moves to the left one and does the same while caressing my legs and pulls off my pants. "I love you Bella…." And caresses my stomach, puts his ear on it and says "hi little buddy, or girl, whichever as long as you're healthy, again, thank you Bella." I felt so loved and wanted to enjoy this joyous moment 100%, but I never can, I always feel guilty for loving him more than Jake. That night he made love to me while he chanted over and over again that he loved me.
Next morning I woke up to the smell of something…burning! I run to the kitchen and see Jake holding a pan, "sorry, I wanted to surprise you by making you breakfast but I guess that didn't go too well…"
"Oh Jake thank you but you know you are not allowed near the stove."
"Don't worry Bella, I'll make it up to you, I am going to clean up and take you to breakfast. Deal, because I am NOT taking no for an answer."We went for breakfast and then called our parents to tell them the news and everybody was happy.
8 months later I'm at the hospital screaming in pain with Jake by my side grabbing my hand telling me everything was going to be okay and Renee on my other side telling me I was doing great. Finally, after 6 long hours we finally had little William Charles Black (William for Billy and Charles for Charlie). Renee stayed with me for 4 weeks to help me and Jacob with little Wills until she went back to Florida, I was going to miss her, she was a great help.
Jake and I settled to a new routine which consisted of waking up at odd hours to diaper changes, burping, vomits, but it was worth it, he was worth it. Wills was my reason for living, I love him like I never thought I would love someone, a motherly love. Now I understand why Rosalie would want this for me, this is the best gift that life has ever given me.
Jake and I were really comfortable with each other, we were best friends of course, that's how I really see and love him although I won't tell him. I'm just waiting for that one thing that is bound to happen, even though I know it will hurt because I do love Jacob, I will be able to live without him, he is not my life like he was, Wills is my life now. But I do wonder when and if Jacob would someday imprint, I wondered that for all these years, until finally, after being together for 8 years...