Chapter Three
The light shown in through the windows, casting an eerie, yet serene glow around the house. Bella woke, staring at her surroundings. She definitely didn't know where she was. All she knew was that her world had changed in an instant, and she knew one thing for certain: it sucked.
There was a light knock on the door, "Bella?"
"Come in," she answered, trying to shake the sleep out of her voice.
A beautiful woman with caramel colored hair floated into the room carrying a tray of cookies and tea. "I'm Esme Cullen, Edward's mother. Carlisle and I didn't want to leave you guys alone, considering everything."
Bella nodded, tears welling up in her eyes. It was actually quite thoughtful of them. "How long have I been asleep? How long have I been here? Where is here?"
"Edward brought you back to his place. You collapsed, and your father didn't seem to think that he should admit you to the hospital." Esme answered quietly. "Your father had to write up the report from the accident and then got called to some hostage situation. I told him that I would be here for you."
"I appreciate that. But why am I at Edward's place? I mean, why didn't he just take me back to my place."
"It was the closest to the hospital, he didn't feel like driving far either, considering everything. He put you to bed and then went out for a bit. I came to stay with you. You have been asleep since I got here about four hours ago, and it's almost eight at night. How are you doing dear?"
"They're gone . . ." she sniffled, swiping at the tears that were steadily falling. "Demetri and I have been best friends since we were ten. We talk . . . talked . . . every day. There is so much that needs to be done. His dad is stationed over in Germany, someone needs to call him. And what about arrangements? Which funeral home are we going to use? And where was Livvie, oh God, she wasn't in the car was she?"
Esme brought up her hands, and cupped Bella's face softly, bringing her eyes up to meet hers.
"Livvie wasn't in the car. She's safe. And don't worry about the arrangements, you aren't alone. Your dad has talked to the funeral home about the arrangements on that end. Carlisle and I will take care of everything else. Tanya was like a daughter to us." Esme smiled, remembering the teenager that came to live with her during a student exchange program with the high school. Tanya ended up staying with them for three years, and had endeared herself with them family. She was going to be truly missed.
"They would have wanted it to be simple," Bella whispered.
Esme nodded. She ran her fingers through Bella's hair, sympathizing for the young woman. She had seen the look before, something that had once been prominent on her husband's face so long ago: grief.
There was another knock on the door, and Esme asked Bella is she was up to another visitor, to which she just nodded.
Carlisle walked through the door, and gave a sad smile to her with Edward standing close to him. "It sucks, doesn't it?"
"That puts it mildly, don't you think?" Edward slurred, walking in through the door. "I see you finally woke up."
Bella nodded quietly, taking a good look at him for the first time. He had been drinking, which was fairly obvious, and was still wearing hospital issued scrubs.
"I'm sorry for hitting you . . ." Bella said, trailing off.
Edward waved her off, effectively dismissing the apology. He didn't want it. It was his fault after all, that Demetri was dead. He should have tried harder, maybe cracked open Demetri's chest and did internal massage on the heart . . .
There had to have been something he missed. He had spent hours thinking and rethinking his actions in the ER, trying to determine if he had missed anything.
"It's fine, I deserved it," he muttered miserably. "I should have done more."
Carlisle looked at his son sympathetically. "There was nothing more that you could have done, I was there, I saw the damage."
Bella let out a small whimper. She looked up at him, no longer seeing the cocky boy who blew a blind date, but instead a defeated man who looked like the weight of the world crashed down on him.
"I'm gonna find some more booze. You game?" Edward asked her.
"Edward!" Esme called out, obviously a little upset by his behavior. He was hurting, she understood that, but now was not the time for self-loathing. "Baby, I love you, but now is not the time for this. Find Bella some clothes to wear, and you should grab a shower yourself. I will be in the kitchen making us a late supper. Even though I don't think you guys want anything to eat, you have to keep your strength up."
Edward nodded mutely, and grabbed a pair of sweats and a large t-shirt, throwing it over to Bella. "There are towels in the bathroom closet. I'll see you at dinner."
~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~
The shower just happened to be what Edward needed. He worked the kinks out of his sore muscles and headed out to dinner. The buzz he had from happy hour was gone, which he wished he had about now. He was getting ready to plan his best friend's funeral, not exactly a task that he was jumping up and down to do.
His footsteps were slow and heavy as he made his way past his bedroom, where Isabella Swan was. He didn't know what had possessed him to bring her back to his place, and to give her his bed for the day, or night, but he did know that she shouldn't be left alone. Demetri and Tanya would have wanted that. They were constantly going on about what a nice, beautiful person she was, and he figured if they felt that way about her, then he should too.
And since her father had to go back to the station and take care of things there, and now that Demetri was gone, and Mike was working, that left Edward in his mind.
He stopped by the door, and heard soft sobbing coming from his room.
Opening the door, he saw her sitting on the edge of his bed, completely engulfed in his clothes, crying her eyes out.
"I'm so sorry," he rasped out, walking over to her.
"I'm sorry too," she blubbered, leaning into his arms. "I know she was your best friend."
Edward nodded, not trusting his voice at the moment. He wished he had the words to comfort her, and normally, he would have called Tanya to figure out what to do in this situation, but she wasn't there for him to call anymore, and that thought made him nauseous.
"They were good parents . . ." Bella trailed off. "Where's Olivia?"
"Child protective services picked her up from daycare."
"Why?" Bella screeched. "They could have called me, I'm on the list. She shouldn't be left alone right now."
"Don't worry," Edward tried to keep his voice even. "It is standard protocol in cases like this." He tried to explain. He had seen this happen a couple of times before at this hospital, but never had to deal with it directly.
He didn't like it. Livvie should be with people who love her, not with complete strangers.
"Cases like what?" Bella demanded to know.
"Orphaned children," he croaked out. He didn't what to admit that this now described his beloved goddaughter, but it was an accurate assessment of the situation. It pained him to realize this.
"No, Edward, we need to get her! She doesn't need to be there right now all alone. She needs to be surrounded by people who love her. . ."
"Bella," he tried to reason with her. It probably wouldn't be a good idea for Olivia to see them like this right now. They needed to reign in their own emotions, so they could be strong for Olivia.
"Look Edward, I know that we aren't friends, by any stretch of the imagination, but it's Livvie."
"I know. Look, let's just pull ourselves together and maybe they will let us see her tomorrow. And if they don't, I'll see what I can do to have her custody transferred to some people I know who are foster parents. It's already nine o'clock at night, Livvie is already asleep."
Bella nodded, trying to feel better about the situation. "I just don't like it."
"I know," Edward said, drawing circles on Bella's back. He had seen Demetri do it several times, and knew that it brought her some comfort.
"Edward, why are you being so nice to me? We barely get along the six times a year we have to see each other."
"Because no one should have to go through this alone. We both just lost our best friends, the people who knew us best," Edward told her angrily. He was trying to help, be there for her, and she was questioning his intentions.
"I know. I'm sorry, I just didn't expect this from you." She closed her eyes, seeing the man who attempted to take her on a date six years ago.
"I do have a heart, you know," he said indignantly. "I do care about other people . . ."
"Edward, look, I'm sorry. I just didn't expect you to be this way with me. Can we just forget it and move on with what we have to do to get through the next couple of days?" She mumbled, realizing that she needed to be nicer to him. He didn't have to help her, but he did.
"Yeah, sounds like a plan. Now, how about dinner?" He offered, pulling himself off the ground, thrusting out his hand to her.
"Sounds like a deal." She said, accepting the gesture.
Edward smiled, pulling her up to her feet. He brushed the hair out of her eyes and cupped her cheek gently.
"I don't know how we will get through this, but we will. For Livvie," he vowed to her.
She nodded silently, trying to blink back the tears that were threatening to fall. She hugged him quickly, allowing him to take the lead and take care of her for the night.
~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0
Bella stood in front of the mirror, smoothing out her black shift dress, adding the black pearl that Demetri had given to her for one of her first gigs as a photographer. Demetri had insisted that she needed a piece of jewelry to wear at the wedding she was shooting, and even though she thought it was silly, she appreciated the gesture. She later found out that it had belonged to his mother
She didn't recognize this woman in black. This wasn't her, wasn't in her life's plan.
Her and Demetri planned to take Olivia up to Forks to go on a camping trip on the reservation.
They had started planning Livvie's first birthday party.
People aren't supposed to die in the prime of their lives.
Mike walked into the room, tying his gray tie, adding his fraternity pin to his lapel.
"Are you ready to do this thing?"
Bella spun around, starring at him incredulously. "What the fuck Mike! We are getting ready to bury one of your frat brothers and his wife. We are getting ready to bury my best friend. We are getting ready to go to a funeral, not going to the reunion that should have been held this week! So no . . . to answer your question, I'm not ready to 'do this thing.'"
"You don't have to be so damn sensitive . . ."
"You are completely out of line. Come on Mike, I'm burying Demetri and Tanya today!"
"Look I was just trying to lighten up the situation, that's all. No need to get you panties in a wad!"
"It's completely inappropriate," she screeched, tears running down her cheeks. "Look, we can talk about this later, but we need to get going. Esme and Carlisle are going to be there early to set up, and I should be there for the mourners for when they come in."
"But you aren't even related to them, so why would you need to be there early?" Mike protested, rolling his eyes. He didn't even want to go to this thing. He barely knew Tanya and Demetri, but even so, he was going to be acting as a pallbearer, since Demetri was in his frat and he could make the service.
"Look, we can go in separate cars. I'm going to stay later at the get together afterward anyway to help with the cleanup."
"Fine with me," Mike grouched. "Look, Bells, you've been inconsolable since the accident a week ago. All you've been doing is moping around, and it's not good for you."
"I know Mike! Look, I'm sorry, but my best friend is dead! CPS won't let us see Livvie until they can find the will . . . I'm just worried about my goddaughter, and I just miss my friends. Just let me grieve."
"Fine. There is no talking to you when you are like this. I'll check on you in a couple of weeks. I will talk with you at the service."
Bella nodded, knowing that there was really nothing to say to him. All she really wanted though, was to be left alone, but she knew that she wouldn't be. There would be a crowd of mourners that they would have to deal with. Both Demetri and Tanya had been active in their alumni association of the fraternity and sororities, so they knew a lot of people would be coming. She touched her black pearl one more time and fixed her makeup to say goodbye to one of the best friends she ever had.
Bella pulled up to the funeral home , seeing that she was one of the first mourners. The Cullens were already there with her father. Demetri's estranged father couldn't get a ticket back in time for the funeral, and his half-brother Felix couldn't be bothered to go to a funeral for someone he didn't even know.
She entered the reception area and signed the guest book . . . something that was to be kept for Olivia for when she got older. She signed her name right under Edward's and entered through the double doors which lead to the hall where the remains were.
Edward was standing by the coffins, holding Livvie in his arms. They were the only ones in the viewing area for the time being, allowing them some privacy for the moment. He was singing softly to her, trying to calm her down. Livvie normally was pretty calm in Edward's arms, but today was an exception. It was as if she knew that this day was different from all the rest.
Bella walked up to them, holding her arms out to give Edward a break. He looked like he was going to lose it at any moment.
"When did the Johnson's drop her off?" Bella inquired softly, rocking her goddaughter softly. Livvie calmed down considerably as she found her thumb, seeking solace. Tanya would have cringed at Livvie finding her thumb, but Bella wasn't going to attempt to break the habit today . . . not today.
"Just a couple minutes ago. I really wish that Tan or Demetri would have told one of us where they kept their will. I'm so tired of having to go through the Johnson's to see her," Edward sighed irritably.
She nodded, agreeing with him. Bella couldn't believe that they would have left the earth so woefully unprepared for their daughter's future.
"The Johnson's seem pretty nice though. They have let us see her a lot."
"Yeah," Edward agreed, running his hands through his hair. "I'm glad that Gabe and Joyce could step up, but CPS isn't going to let Livvie stay there much longer. They are going to want to find a permanent placement for her."
"What? No Edward, we can't let that happen. We are her godparents, we should have some say in what happens in her future. Livvie shouldn't end up with people who don't know her, or know her situation."
"That won't happen," he promised. "Look, we are just going to have to make sure that it doesn't happen."
Bella nodded, taking a deep breath. She needed to trust him right now.
Livvie sighed contently, looking up at her godfather with her big blue eyes. She smiled, reaching out to him.
"She would look just like Tan if it wasn't for that dark brown hair," Edward muttered, snuggling Livvie softly.
"Well, she is part Demetri," Bella told him, ruffling Livvie's hair. "We can't let her forget them."
"We won't," Edward vowed. He wrapped his arm around Bella, and pulled her closer to him. Bella closed her eyes, allowing herself to relax. It was hard for her to accept help from Edward, knowing what kind of man - reputation - that he held.
"Hey Cullen!"
Her eyes snapped open to see Mike entering the hall.
"Hands off my woman. First you sleep with the maid of honor at their wedding, next you are trying to bed Demetri's best friend at their funeral. You are the lowest of the low."
Edward's grip on her immediately slackened, but Bella stood right next to him.
"Mike, you have no right to speak to Edward like that right now! You need to calm yourself down," Bella spoke lowly but evenly. "You need to pay your respects and find a seat. We are going to start in a couple of minutes."
She grabbed Edward's hand and led him to the front of the hall next to the caskets. She closed her eyes and leaned into him, knowing that the next few hours would be the hardest that she would have to face in her young life.
~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~
Edward didn't know what to do or say when he stood to give the eulogy at their gravesite. People had come to pay their respects, and now it was time to bury them. He looked out at the mourners, trying to figure out what story to tell, but the words just wouldn't come out. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.
"I stood in front of many of you not to long ago, in fact, about two years ago, telling you guys crazy stories of Demetri with the fraternity and of Tanya in high school . . ." his voice cracked as he was trying to keep his composure. "There are . . . there are . . ."
His breaths started coming out rapidly, and he started to hyperventilate.
Edward closed his eyes and felt Bella coming up behind him. She wrapped her arms around him, and hugged him. She knew exactly what he felt like.
"They were very good friends of ours," Bella spoke silently, the first time she spoke since her argument with Mike three hours earlier.
Edward nodded, finding the courage to speak, "They were the kindest people, with a love for each other that only a few people in this world are lucky to find."
Bella sniffled beside him.
He squeezed her hand in a show of support. "There is nothing I can say that will make anyone's hurt lessen, or anything I can do to bring back Olivia's parents. They will be missed," he finished up. With Olivia in his arms and Bella by his side, they touched the coffins holding their friends, dropping the white roses on their caskets.
When they pulled up to Edward's parents house, they were bombarded with well wishers and mourners who spoke highly of Demetri and Tanya.
Needing a break, Bella excused herself to put Livvie down for a nap. Tanya was a stickler for nap time, and she was going to try to stick to it. She was walking out of the room when she saw a man in a suit talking to Edward.
Probably just another frat brother reliving their wild times.
She was making her way past them when she saw Edward motion for her to come over.
"Do you need me Edward?"
"Actually this is Jason Jenks," Edward told her. "We were in Lambda Chi together."
"I remember you, Demetri and you rented that cabin for a mixer your junior year," Bella smiled. "Dee really liked you, Jenks."
"Well, I was his lawyer, and Demetri and Tanya mentioned both you and Edward in the will. I would like to go over the specifics of it with you and the other mentioned people in his will. Demetri mentioned his father and brother. Tanya mentioned a sister named Irina."
"Felix couldn't make it, and I have never met him . . . ever. Colonel Lebedev is in Germany right now with his fourth wife, Jane," Bella told him. "Is there a way we can do it without them?"
"Yeah. They weren't major players in the will anyway. I can mail some of the personal affects to them," Jenks explained kindly. "I just need to set up a time with you and Edward, since you are the main people mentioned. Carlisle and Esme were mentioned as well as Charlie . . ."
Bella looked at Edward, waiting to hear his response. "I have to work for the next four days, I can do it next Friday."
"I have a trip planned for next weekend to the Puget Sound and Mt. Ranier," Bella replied. "Can we do it during one of your breaks?"
"Can you reschedule your trip?" Edward asked.
"No. It is a photo shoot for Vanity Fair," Bella replied. "Can we do it now, after the guests leave?"
"I don't see it being an issue, as long as Edward agrees."
Edward nodded, shaking Jenks' hand.
Everyone slowly trickled out, leaving Bella, Edward, and their parents. Livvie was playing quietly in her playpen with a toy that Demetri had bought for her when she was first born. Edward was watching her quietly, knowing that she didn't know what had occurred which altered her short life so dramatically.
Livvie raised her hands up, looking at Edward expectantly. He smiled, and obliged to her request. She laid her head on his shoulder.
"Dada?"
"No baby, Edward," he told her quietly.
Esme walked back into the room and looked at everyone. "Well, that is the last of the guests. The caterer is cleaning up now and is packing up the leftovers for the two of you. Now what is this business that you guys have to discuss?"
"Well, let me begin by introducing myself. I'm Jason Jenks and I was Demetri and Tanya's lawyer. They want me to be the executer of their estate. They were very specific in the way they wanted this to play out. I have letters for a Charlie Swan and Esme and Carlisle Cullen."
"They didn't leave letters for me our Bella?" Edward asked, rocking Olivia. "Did they leave anything for Livvie?"
"Their entire estate is hers," Jenks explained, "Minus the things that they left to you and Bella. The house was completely paid for and their life insurance policies, minus what was used for their debts and burial, is to be held in trust for her to be used as her guardians see fit. And to answer your first question, for some reason, no, they didn't leave letters for you and Bella. I asked them about that, and they said it would be too hard."
Bella nodded. "What would your last words be to your best friends? Anyway, what is going to happen to Olivia?"
"Did they discuss any of this with you and Edward at all?"
"No," Bella said, running her hands through her hair. "We didn't exactly talk about dying and all that."
"They left custody of Olivia to you and Edward," Jenks told her slowly.
"What!" Edward and Bella said at the same time.
"I mean, we aren't even friends," Bella stuttered. "We have to share custody of her?"
"Well, yeah. Both Demetri and Tanya wanted her to have a mother and father . . ."
"This is crazy," Edward muttered, still holding Olivia. "We don't agree on anything, how the hell do they expect us to raise a child together?"
Olivia started fussing and as Edward started to sooth her, Bella reached into the diaper bag and grabbed a pacifier. She stroked the soft curls that framed Livvie's face and brushed the hair out of her eyes.
"I don't know why they picked us Edward," Bella sighed softly.
"This is huge, it would change our lives forever." Edward closed his eyes and sighed. "Our work schedules are too erratic, our lives are hectic. You are involved in a serious relationship . . ."
"We need to be responsible and let someone else do this," Bella muttered. She reached out and Edward passed Livvie over into her waiting arms.
With his hands now free, he ran his hands through his hair, and looked to Jenks.
"Are there any viable options?"
"They did have a contingency. If you and Bella didn't want to do it, then you guys could choose any living family."
Bella shook her head. "Demetri hated Jane . . ."
"Irina and Mark had six other children, and honestly, I don't want Livvie moving to Russia. Tan didn't want to have her child raised there."
"She has a cousin named Carmen," Bella said. "I met her once in college. She seemed nice."
Edward smiled, "Carmen ran away to live in Spain with a foreign exchange student. I wouldn't even know where to find her."
Bella looked to Edward, who shrugged.
"We don't even live together, and as you pointed out, I'm dating Mike," Bella sighed. "I'm free Monday through Thursday this week."
"I have to work the weekend, night shift," Edward mumbled. "It won't work out."
"I can watch her during the night darling," Esme pointed out. "It is what they wanted. They wanted you and Bella. You guys need to at least try it before you knock it."
Bella looked to Charlie who just nodded. "They chose you for a reason Bells. Sue and I will support you no matter what you do."
"We should try to do this," Edward told her, touching Livvie's curls. "I can't see her go to anyone else."
"What do we have to do now?" Bella asked, sitting down.
"We have to go to court to have her custody arrangements be turned over to you and Edward and that should be about it," Jenks explained. "I can have it arranged for tomorrow."
Edward nodded, knowing that even though he would have to work, he could leave for a couple of hours. He had an in with the chief. Carlisle looked at him and nodded.
"It will be fine Edward, we will figure it out. Take the day off and get settled in with your family," Carlisle encouraged.
He nodded, looking over at the women sitting next to Jenks. He hoped that Demetri and Tanya knew what they were doing.
AN: Sorry for the delay. My husband got into a major car accident on our anniversary. He's okay, he made it out alive with some broken bones and cracked ribs, with a crack in his skull, but he's alive, so that is all I care about.
So, in between him and work, and trying to figure out stuff, writing got put on the wayside. Sorry . . .
Thanks for the love. Review rock my socks.