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Class ended and I don't know whether to feel relieved or more anxiety; I'm going to go with anxiety because I am going to have to explain to them (especially Edward) why and how I got this bruise, how embarrassing. Wait, no Bella, he's your husband these things happen and he left so it's his loss, right…? Ugggh I still can't believe this….
"Thank you Jane for collecting the homework. Hello Alice and Edward, may I help you with something?" Jane was still in the classroom gathering her things.
"Yes Mrs. Black, we were wondering about our next assignment…" Alice stated while Jane left the room.
"Bella, I swear I will kill that mutt if he hurt you! What happened?" Edward asked me practically screaming; I hesitated and just looked away, I didn't want to tell him… "If you don't tell me I'm just going to assume the worst and go and kill him! He can't lay a hand on you!" Edward shouted at me.
"First of all, you don't insult Jacob, is that clear? Second, you don't shout, scream or demand anything from me, you have no right! And thirdly, what I do in the confines of my bedroom with my husband is none of your concern Edward! You got that clear Mr. Cullen?" I told me while looking him straight in the eye meaning every word; his face was indescribable, and mostly after the whole 'bedroom' part of my explanation.
"The bedroom? He hit you in the bedroom? Bella, I don't….." he drifted off.
"GOD! Edward! Why are you making me say this…...?" I fixed my eyes to the window so I can concentrate, "Last night I woke up around 2am because William was hungry so I fed him. After he fell asleep I went back into my bedroom and Jacob was sleeping. I decided to play with him so I started caressing his arms and then his face and his ears; he thought I was a fly I guess because he decided to slap his own face while still sleeping. It was such a hilarious thing to see that I couldn't contain myself and started laughing hysterically resulting in him waking up. Well, he didn't necessarily just wake up but he jerked up so fast that it made me fall off the bed, resulting in my bruises; you know how I bruise easily." I finally finished when I decided to face them; Alice was grabbing his hand with a sympathetic look in her face.
"Oh, ok … well, I guess that's understandable… But he needs to be more careful around you Bella. Wait, did you say 'bruises' and not 'bruise?'"
"Damn, Edward, why….? I'm not even going to bother asking you why. I also have a bruise in my left leg because of the same reason. There's no reason to worry Edward, so there, that's the reason for my bruises ok. Happy now, gosh, now, my next class is coming in, go to your next class please…?"
I begged them, and of course Alice dragged Edward out of the room; I whispered lowly, knowing they would be able to hear me 'Alice, Edward, meet me after school is done in my classroom.' I decided to just go back to work and immerse myself so I won't have to think of what would come later.
The end of the day came to a close and I started to gather my things when Alice and Edward walked into the classroom. "Wow, you're fast, oh yea, I forgot. Well, I need to go pick up William from day care so please follow me. You know what, never mind this is a conversation to have with your whole family. Just go home and tell everybody I'm on my way." I let them know in a very determined way so they won't be able to argue with me.
They just glanced at each other, turned around and left.
I sighed internally and picked up William and thanked everybody. "Ok William, we're going to the Cullen's….." I felt happy actually, relief I guess. I do miss them.
I texted Jacob letting him know where I was going:
"Jacob, I'm going over to the Cullen's house. Please, please, please don't worry about me; William is going with me. I'll let u know the reason when I get home. I'm not going to be there long, just trying to settle some things. Remember: I love you Jacob. I'm going to leave the phone on vibrate and keep it with me at all times for emergencies."
I didn't receive an answer back, weird; he might be busy working on a car or something.
We arrived at the Cullen's house when I noticed William was asleep. I picked him up and started walking up the stairs when I saw Esme open the door for me "I am so glad you're here Bella and William as well of course. My room is ready for you if you want to put William on the bed." She told me with a big smile on her face.
"Thank you Esme, I appreciate it." I answered her and walked through the living room and smiled at everybody while I went into Esme and Carlisle's room. I placed William down and covered him up and walked into the living room.
"Ok, so I'm assuming everybody knows why I'm here? No? Neither Edward nor Alice tell you what happened today at school?" I glared at Alice and Edward because they were making me tell them, this is beyond embarrassing. I sat down on the couch and started to let them know why I was here.
"All right, this is going to be embarrassing for me but I have to tell you guys." I took off my jacket and then another coat I had under; I heard gasps and hisses from all over the room. Great, this was going to be hard; I sighed.
"This…" pointing at my arm… "Is not what you think. Alice and Edward saw this at school and over reacted, well, Edward did and Alice tried to calm him down. Edward even broke a chair, but luckily Alice distracted the whole class's attention to her. But this bruise and the one I have on my left leg are not because of domestic violence or anything like that. I fell off the bed last night and these bruises are the result of that. You all know how clumsy I am. I don't need anybody making a big scene like Edward did this morning. You all have to understand that I have my own life, and as much as I am happy to know that you guys are here and safe, I don't need you to tell me what I should or should not do. Or threaten to kill my husband because they don't like something they see." I glared at Edward, letting him know it was primarily directed at him.
"You are not being completely truthful Bella," Edward said from across the room.
"Wow, thank you Edward for making this harder than it already is! Just because you decided long ago to leave me because it was for 'my own good' as you like to put it, does not mean you can decide how I lead my life! As I already told you in the morning, whatever happens in the bedroom with my husband does not concern you!" I practically screamed at Edward, standing up facing him; that's when I heard everybody's reaction….
"Bedroom….?" "Huh, Bella, dang, did not see that one coming…" "Her request makes sense son…" "Oh my…." "Hahahahahaha, did not expect that from her" "Wow, freaky Bella!"
I groaned out loud…. "Did not want to say that out loud…"
"My little sister Bella is all grown up, wait, my freaky little sister Bella is all grown up!" Emmet said laughing and caring me in a big bear hug, which made me smile.
"Well you know Emmet, babies don't miraculously just appear, and certain things had to happen in order to make William you know…" I grinned at him and everybody started laughing, of course except Edward. I guess I shocked most faces because they were speechless by my little declaration.
"Ok, you are sidetracking me here Emmet. But no, I did not get bruises because I was 'freaky' as you seem to think; all of you running with your imaginations…. I hope not to know what happens in your own…. Anyways, it was an accident. Jacob was asleep and decided to play a little game; I decided to just caress his arms and his face. But he thought I was a fly or something so he slapped himself in the face which made me laugh out loud which that startled him. He woke up instantly and sat up fast making me fly across the room; thus, resulting in me falling off the bed and bruising myself. There, happy Edward, that I've embarrassed myself completely in front of your family? God, you're such an ass sometimes. Lighten up. Jeez… just because you wish it was you…."
"Yes, of course I wish it was me….." he said, but I think more to himself than anybody else. There were some gasps around the room.
"I know you do Edward, but it's not my fault you decided to leave all those years ago; that is your fault, so live with that decision," I stated. This was hurting me so much but I didn't want to show him that, I wanted him to see how strong I am now.
"Can everybody please give Edward and me some privacy please? Hold on, can we use your study Carlisle?" I asked him.
"Of course Bella, you don't need to ask. Edward will show you the way."
"Thank you Carlisle; Oh and Rosalie, if William wakes up, would you mind babysitting him for a while; just as long as I talk to Edward?" I asked Rosalie while her eyes almost popped out of her sockets with my request; I remembered she wanted to hold my baby last time I came.
"Of course Bella; you know it would be my pleasure." She stood up and gave me a kiss on the cheek. Emmet was behind her grinning at me from ear to ear; I could tell he was happy because Rosalie was happy. Rosalie grabbed Emmet's hand and led him to Esme and Carlisle's room.
"This way." Edward told me while leading me to Carlisle's office in the second floor.
We went inside the office and I realized this was the first time that Edward and I were going to be alone for the first time. Oh crap, my heart started to speed up a little when I decided to just breathe deep, calm down and sit in Carlisle's chair.
"Edward, you need to understand and get through your head that leaving me was the hardest thing I had to go through….. Let me finish! It was the hardest thing because I loved you with everything I had; I was willing to leave everything for you to be with you and your family. I was willing to leave everything behind for you, for us. But you decided to leave me and I had to live through that. I was lucky to have had Jacob, to still have him now because he is understanding and doesn't demand anything from me. He loves me and took me when I didn't even love myself. If you could've seen how it was, how I was when you were gone, I was catatonic Edward. He took me out of that and made me snap out of it. I'll be honest with you Edward, just like I was with Jacob: I told him I was never going to be one hundred percent his because I will always love you and be yours Edward; and even after this confession Jacob stayed with me for some reason. He stayed because he knew I loved him too, not how I love you, never how I love you; that's just not possible. I need you to know that Edward, I need you to know that I will always love you. It doesn't matter now though, because I'm with Jacob, and yes I love him. But I also have William, he gave me William. I am only infinitely grateful to him because he gave me him. Do you understand that? Remember, that's why you left me right? Make my own life without you? You wanted me to have a life you could never give me; have children, get married, and grow old, right? I am living the life you wanted…" I stopped with tears in my eyes staring at the wooden desk. He just stood there, staring at me.
"Bella I don't know what to say. Well, only that I will always love you. I've explained before, vampires rarely change and when they do is permanently. That means I will always love you as intense as so many years ago. But I will admit that knowing you will always love me makes me happy; even though I now understand that you also love Jacob. You're right, it is my fault all of this happened and I can't make it any better, well for me anyways. I just want you to know Bella that I will always be here for you when you need me. I'll be your friend and even your babysitter but please know that I am here for you. But I also need to apologize for my recent outburst, it was uncalled for and my thoughts when to the worst scenario. I'm not sorry for wanting to protect you, but now I understand if you really need any help or are in a bad situation you will know what to do. I can respect that and I understand now. You will always be with Jacob now…." He looked in so much pain and sorrow, sadness.
"Well, maybe not always. Oh god why am I telling you this, I always had a problem with you and always say more than I should..." I said shaking my head when I looked up and I saw hope in his eyes?
"What do you mean by 'maybe not always'?" he asked me with piercing eyes.
"Oh well, Jacob is a werewolf right? Well, werewolves also have this thing called imprinting; have you heard of that word? Of course you have, but in this case how do I explain? Ok, imprinting is kind of like love at first sight but it's more powerful than that. You have to look into the other person's eyes to imprint; and once you do, then you're with that person forever. I don't know if I'm making sense. Ok, there's another member of the wolf who imprinted on a 3 year old. I know it sounds disgusting because that was my first reaction but it's not like that. That member of the pack will be there for her in whichever way she wants and needs him to. For instance, right now, he's like a big brother to her, he takes care of her and plays with her. He doesn't see her in a romantic way. Then, while she grows up, he will change to a friend, a companion, until finally they will be together as man and woman. Wolves don't age until they stop phasing completely; so he will be there for her when she grows up and while she's growing up. Did I make sense?" I looked at him with confusion in my eyes.
"I think I do. So what you're trying to say is that Jacob hasn't imprinted on anyone yet?" he asked me raising his eyebrow with what is that, yep, hope!
"Um, no he hasn't and that makes him crazy. He wishes he had imprinted with me; that would mean we were meant to be a hundred percent." I looked down sad because in a way I would've liked that, I wouldn't be suffering as I am right now; torn in two.
"So if he would imprint on someone else, what will happen? What will you do?"
"I always have that thought in my head, although I don't tell him that because it upsets him. But I know I will be fine, I actually expect it, I can feel it. It's going to happen someday; and when that happens it will hurt like hell, but I t won't hurt as much as you hurt me. I will be able to go on with my life. I won't have any ill-feelings towards him, it won't be his fault, and it's just in his nature. Plus, I also have William with me, he's mine and he's my life now." I stared at his eyes, he was going to dazzle me if I kept staring so I looked away (wow, I am stronger now).
"But what will happen? You didn't answer that question." Edward asked me eagerly.
"I will divorce him and continue my life Edward. He will always be able to be part of William's life and will always be welcomed wherever I will be. That won't change. I love him too much; and feel grateful for everything that he's given me, especially William." I told him calmly.
"Yes, of course." He just said and turned to the window…. "William is up, Rosalie is with him. Thank you for doing that by the way. She is ecstatic you let her do that; she's completely in love with William, he's adorable. He has an interesting mind…." He said curiously…
"What? What do you mean by 'interesting mind'?" I asked him, now I am interested in knowing this.
"Well, he's really intelligent and observant. He is actually having fun with Rosalie right now. He doesn't feel afraid or anything. His reason is because you are comfortable with us and trusts us then he should too. But he's also been thinking about Jacob and you, he wonders where you are. Oh, not anymore, he's looking for Rosalie now, he's having fun. Interesting mind children have. I haven't been surrounded by a child in decades." He said with a smile, he liked listening to William's mind.
"Wow, that's interesting. Edward, I hope you understand now. Please respect me and the life I have now. If I need you or your family for whatever reason I will reach out, if not, don't over react just ask me if you have any questions ok. Now, let's go back to the living room." Edward and I headed to the living room. I knew they all heard everything and that's good because I won't have to repeat myself, but I do need to tell them all one thing.
"Before I go, I want to thank you all for being patient and I know you all heard our conversation upstairs and hope you understand and respect my decision and future decisions to come. Also, you guys can stay here in Unalaska; there won't be any problems in that department. I know you just moved here and don't want to inconvenience you into leaving so soon. Anyways, I'm glad you guys are here because if I need anything I can come to any of you right?" I asked with a smile in my face.
"Of course Bella, our house will always have its doors open for you don't worry about that. I am so glad you let us stay Bella, that's more than enough, thank you again." This was Esme with her loving and caring way.
Rosalie walked into the living room carrying William and playing with him at the same time; not caring that we were all watching the exchange; it made me smile a really wide smile.
"Thank you Rosalie for helping me with William." I told her while I grabbed William.
"My pleasure Bella; he is a really smart boy and hope to see him soon." Rosalie told us with a big grin on her face.
"Thank you everybody. I have to go because I have to…." My phone started to vibrate. "Excuse me, Hello?"
"Bella, where are you? Are you still over there? Is everything all right? How is William? How are you?" Jacob practically screamed at the phone.
"Yes Jacob I'm here at the Cullen's place. Yes, I am still here. Yes, everything is fine. Yes, William is fine. Yes, I am fine. Seriously Jacob, do you not trust me? I was already almost outside the door when you called me practically screaming and now it's going to take me longer to get home because you are over reacting. Seriously, is today 'let's freak out on Bella' day because if it is I swear I'm just going to go to a hotel to sleep because I need to rest, and so does William!" I told him raising my voice. Everybody just pretended to do something else, but I knew they were paying attention; especially Edward, and Emmet oh he's so going to say something.
"I'm sorry Bella. I just read your text and I started to freak out. You can't blame me for over reacting, you know how I am and especially when it's about those blood-, sorry, when it's about them." Jacob answered more calm, without screaming, but I could still tell he was angry.
"All right Jacob, I need to hang up so I can go home now okay…. In the meantime start preparing dinner. I already made the complicated part what comes next is pretty easy, even you can manage. Just please don't turn on the stove, I don't want a repeat of what happened last time." I told him.
"Yea, okay Bella. But please hurry home, well, be safe. Just, please come home I feel anxious. And what happened last time with the stove was completely understandable; I was excited because you told me we were expecting William. I was trying to celebrate and do something nice for you. Even though it didn't come out how I wanted to I can't fully apologize for something that gave me so much joy." Jacob stated, and I knew he had calmed down completely and could feel his green on his face when he finished.
"I know Jacob, I was excited too. But please, I repeat do not turn on the stove and I'll be there in like 15 minutes ok." I told him with a smile on my face.
"All right Bella. I will be eagerly expecting you and William. I love you Bella."
"I love you too Jacob. I'll see you in about 5 minutes. Good bye," and I hung up on him, turning and seeing everybody stare at me.
"What? Get over it people, I am a married woman with a son. Deal with it" I told everybody with a big smile on my face; everybody was grinning at me as well.
"Dang Bella, you told your husband! You have him on a leash! Whipish!" Emmet made a whipping noise.
"Yea Emmet, of course I do. He's my wolf remember. He knows not to go against me because it will cost him." I answered Emmet back, which he started laughing along with the rest.
"Now, I really have to go. Good bye everybody! I would say good night but, you know. Bye!"
"Bye" William said as well.
Everybody stopped and looked at William, including myself. He has said phrases but never in front of people he barely knew, wow, I guess he was fine with everybody.
"Oh William!" everybody reacted and just kept waving goodbye.
"All right William, to go phase the wolf; literally."