For Keeps Chapter 13: Shadowlands, a wrestling fanfic

Chapter 13- Shadowlands

Lora

My whole body went numb. I was still aware of everything around me; I still knew that we were in an office in the Staples Center. I could still see Randy, pale skin and vacant stare. And it was something for him to be considered pale. But my brain didn't seem to want to function. Didn't seem to want to wrap around the words that had just come from Randy's mouth.

"My Uncle Barry just died."

I could still picture Barry Orton clearly in my mind. At our wedding, sitting next to Becky. It was the first time I had ever met him. It had been a little bit of a shock to actually see him, because he was nothing like any of the Orton men I had met. Unlike his brother Bob, he had long, thick wavy brown hair, that fell to the middle of his back. He didn't look hardly anything like his brother; and from the pictures I had seen in Elaine's living room, Barry looked like his father. But he couldn't have been any nicer to me. He welcomed me to the family with open arms. He asked if there was anything he could do to help Randy and me with the baby. I blinked rapidly as my eyes began to sting dangerously. I focused my attention back on Randy, who had yet to move. I knelt between his legs, resting my hands on his chest.

"Randy, baby, you have to tell me what to do now," I whispered. There were things that needed to be done, but I needed him to tell me what he wanted. He blinked a few times, before looking down at me.

"Dad said… that he was flying out to Vegas tonight," his voice low and smooth. I barely remember the subject of Barry's home being in Las Vegas. My heart clinched painfully at the thoughts of him hurting this bad. He wasn't showing anything, but I knew it wouldn't be longer before the news hit him head on. I brushed my fingers across his cheek.

"Is that what you want to do?" I offered. He looked at me, as if he was confused, then he just silently nodded. I squeezed his thigh, and stood up. I sat in a chair opposite him, pulling his gym bag towards me. Unzipping the bag, I fished around until I found Randy's wallet. I had never once invaded his personal space like this, but I wasn't sure if he'd be able to do it alone. Not having a clue on which card to use, I just fingered through them. The man had several. I finally decided on the black American Express card. I wasn't quite sure what the credit limit on something like this was, but I didn't think I wanted to know. Instead, I called the local airport. And within fifteen minutes, Randy and I had one-way tickets to Las Vegas, Nevada. I replaced his wallet, and zipped his bag. I walked back over to him, cupping his face with my hand. "Baby, we need to go. Our plane leaves in an hour and a half. We still have to get back to the hotel."

I tugged at his hand, finally getting him to stand. He didn't seem too sturdy on his feet; I wrapped my arm around his waist, tucking myself into his frame. Slowly, I steered him from the room and down the hallway towards the exit. We turned a corner, and I spotted the exit; along with Casie and John. I saw the downcast looks on both of their faces, and I knew that they knew. And I wasn't quite sure how Randy would react to their sympathy. So, as we got closer, I shot them a stare that I hoped told them to keep quiet. Casie understood, but I don't think John got the picture, and started to open his mouth, when Casie elbowed him in the chest. He huffed and rubbed the spot where she hit him. I nearly smiled through my own heartache.

"We're going to Las Vegas tonight," I told them both. Casie nodded, sadness in her eyes. John's mirrored hers. We left the arena with promises to call them with an update.

The next twenty four hours were some of the worst in my life. I hadn't been around death and sadness since my own father passed away. And being around everyone, crying, weeping, sharing their grief with everyone, just brought back horrible memories. Bob had reserved Randy and me a room at the same hotel he and his wife were staying at, so when we arrived in Las Vegas, we checked into the hotel. Then all four of us, Bob, Elaine, Randy and I, piled into a rental SUV, as Bob drove the way to his brother's. I had held Randy's hand through the whole ride. Cars surrounded the home of Barry Orton. The sun was down, and I couldn't get a very good look at the house, but I could tell that it wasn't small. I stayed by Randy's side as we greeted extended members of his family. His Aunt Rhonda, Bob's sister, was the first to get to his house; she also lived in Vegas.

I explored his house a little during the times I wasn't with Randy. Barry had very few pictures around the house, but the ones I that I did notice, were family pictures. A couple of them had him and Randy in the frames. I had to wipe the lone tears that would sneak out of my eyes away, before anyone saw me. I needed to be strong for Randy; he needed me. When we finally arrived back at the hotel, with plans of meeting up the next day to make arrangements, it was past one in the morning. I tried to stay awake long enough to make sure Randy feel asleep, but I just couldn't manage it. The whole day had been exhausting. I just had to hope that he would get some rest.

I woke up the next morning, and Randy was gone. He wasn't in the bathroom, or anywhere to be found in the room. I sighed and reached for my cell phone, to call him. But as soon as my fingers closed around it, it began ringing. I looked at the caller ID, and saw that it was Elaine. After a brief conversation with her, I found out that Randy and Bob had gone to plan the funeral. And Elaine and I had a date for shopping in the city. I needed a black dress, and I didn't have one with me, or that would fit me. After a quick shower, and curling my hair, I slipped on some black leggings, a quarter length gray sweater and my black flats; I headed out of the room to meet Elaine in the lobby. We called a cab to take us into the heart of town.

I found a simple, knee-length black dress with long sleeves, and a black silk ribbon tied right under the bust. I bought some black tights to go with it, and I had to buy a pair of simple black patten high heels. After we both found what we wanted, Elaine took me to lunch. We went to the HardRock Café. I sipped on my soda quietly as we waited on our food.

"How is Randy doing?" Elaine asked, breaking the silence. I looked up at her, seeing the worry in her eyes. "Barry was his favorite uncle. He looked up to him, as a wrestler. I'm worried about how he's handling this."

I chewed on my lip softly. "I don't know what to do. He's hardly said two words, about anything, since Bob told him. I don't want to force him into doing anything, but I'm starting to get worried. He's never shut me out like this before."

"That's how Randy treats things that are overwhelming for him. He closes himself off to everyone until he is ready to deal with it. But I was afraid of how long it's going to take him to cope. He was so close to Barry. He was partially named after him, for Heaven's sake."

I gaped at her. I didn't know that. It had never come up in conversation between us. "I didn't know that."

Elaine nodded her head. "Yeah, 'Randal' was Barry's first name. 'Keith' is Bob's middle name. He is named after two of the family wrestlers. You can see, now, why Randy was so determined to make it in this business."

I didn't know what to make of the news Elaine just told me. The only thing that I knew was that this was harder for Randy than I had originally thought. Right now, all I really wanted was to get to Randy, and be there for him. I knew I couldn't do much at the moment, but I had to do everything that would help. Elaine and I finished our meal, and went back to the hotel. Bob had called on our way back, saying that they were finished with the plans. I said good-bye to Elaine in the lobby and hurried back to my hotel room. I opened the door, and saw Randy sitting on the bed, staring blankly at the TV. I sat my bags down at the end of the bed, and joined him on top of the covers. I didn't know what to do. I wanted to reach out for him, to comfort him, anything. But I wasn't sure how he would react. So, I did what my body told me too. I grabbed his hand, and lifted his arm. I quickly scooted closer to him, before he could shy away, and pulled his arm around my neck. At first, I thought he was going to pull away, because he tensed against me. Then he relaxed, and tightened his grip around my shoulders. This was the first physical reaction I had gotten out of him. I sighed softly in relief and played with his fingers gently.

The days before the funeral passed by uneventfully. Our daily routine always the same. We would wake up in the morning and get ready, then head over the Barry's house. And that's where we stayed the whole day almost. We would have food ordered in, as guests came by to give their condolences. Randy was a shell of his former self throughout the day. He put on a polite show for the friends and family, but I knew that it wasn't real. Then, at the end of the day, we would troupe back to the hotel for the night. And at night, was when my Randy came out, if only a little bit. Every since I had come back from shopping with Elaine, we would end our night the same way; his arm around my shoulders, with me curled up close to him. And I had no complaints; I was just thrilled that I was able to do something. I would usually fall asleep before he did, but as far as I knew, he would still hold on to me. There was actually one morning I woke up still in his arms.

I got ready slowly, not wanting to go through with this day. It was the day of the funeral. I hated funerals. I hated the smell of chilled flowers, I hated caskets and I hated the feel of pity as people looked at you. I finished straightening my hair as Randy came out of the bathroom. He looked darkly handsome in his dark suit and tie. Any other situation, and I would have thrown myself at him, but I couldn't even make myself feel anything at the moment. Randy looked at me expectantly and I knew he was wondering if I was ready. I hurried threw on some lip gloss, and let Randy lead me out of the door. Meeting Bob and Elaine in the lobby, we piled into the SUV and headed for the funeral home. The first thing I noticed was the weather. It was pouring down raining. Nothing but fitting for today's mood. But Elaine had seemed to come prepared with two large black umbrellas. My new mother-in-law appeared to be ready for any situation.

People were already filling into the parlor when we arrived. Cars were numerous in the parking lot, indicating an overflow of people inside. As soon as we entered the building, Randy put his mask on, trying to show everybody that he was okay. A face that I saw right through. But I said nothing, and smiled along with him, all the while, keeping tight grip of his hand. I saw several WWE Hall of Fame members coming to pay their respects, and several other wrestlers that Randy had to name for me. The funeral was to start in thirty minutes, so, I parted from Randy to head for the bathroom. The baby was pressing on top of my bladder, multiplying my bathroom breaks. After I washed my hands, I started to weave through the ocean of people, back to Randy. I felt a hand close around my arm, and turned me around. John and Casie stood in front of me. John had on a black simple suit with Casie on his arm in a black dress. I smiled at my friends, pulling them both in for a hug.

"Thank you guys for coming," I exclaimed. John waved me off.

"I wouldn't have had it any other way. Even though I didn't know Barry well, I love the entire Orton family. They've been nothing but good to me," John praised. I smiled, knowing exactly how he felt. I had the same sentiments towards that family. "How's Randy holding up?"

I frowned. This was a subject I hated to talk about. "Well, he's been better."

"That bad huh?" John surmised. I nodded. "Well, one thing I know about Randy is, that when he's ready to talk to someone, he'll go to them. He's not one for sharing his worries or pain a lot. But it happens; on his terms."

I hoped that John was right. I wanted Randy to get some of his pain off his shoulders, and just grieve for a little while. It would do him a world of good. But before I could say anything else, I heard the director of the funeral home, call out over the noise, for the friends to file in the chapel for the service. And for a moment, I was torn. Even though, I was technically family, I didn't know if I belonged in the family section of the chapel. I didn't hardly know Barry. But, on the other hand, Randy needed me. That was one thing that I was sure of. And that made up my mind. I made my way through the crowds of people, until my eyes met Randy's.

I was nearly halted in my tracks by the look in his eyes. His façade was starting to crumble. His eyes were filled with pain and heartache. I hurried towards him, and wrapped my arms around his waist. But he blocked me from pulling him in for a hug. Instead, he buried his fingers into my hair, holding my head and forced me to look up at him. I almost missed his next words, because they were spoken so soft.

"Stay with me."

I stared up at him in astonishment. His words were laced with pain and his voice cracked. He had never asked anything like this of me. Sure, he's asked me to stay with him before, but that was under a different context. This time, it was something short of needy scared child. He was admitting to me that he couldn't do it on his own. I smiled a reassuring smile at him, and nodded. I would go to the ends of the earth to make him happy again. A preacher came into the room, were Barry's casket and the family members were, and began to say a prayer. I moved to Randy's side, but still kept my arm around him. Then the extended family left the room, to join in the chapel. All that was left in the room were Barry's brother and sister, Elaine, Randy and I, along with Becky and Nathan. They had got into town yesterday for the funeral. And slowly, we all entered the chapel by a side door, and took our seats. Randy was on my left and Becky was on my right. She was already crying. Randy must not have been the only one that was close to Barry.

The ceremony wasn't very long. I leaned into Randy's side, fighting my tears. A few people stood up to tell stories about Barry and there were a couple of songs played in honor of his memory. I finally had to pull a tissue from the one of the several boxes around the room. I dabbed at my eyes, trying not to smudge my make-up. When the service was over, workers wheeled the casket outside, and loaded it in the hearse. Randy's parents drove the SUV, with the both of us in the back, in front of the funeral procession to get to the cemetery. The rain had not let up, and was pouring down in sheets. When we parked, Randy got out of the car, and met me on my side, with an open umbrella. I hugged myself closer to him, as he helped me across the bumpy ground to get to the open grave. We sat down in covered chairs under a small tent, shielding us from the rain. I held Randy's hand tightly in mine as the started to lower the casket into the ground. The preacher read from the Bible and several members of the family laid a single flower into the grave, before the dirt was to be replaced. A few tears leaked from my eyes; I was trying my damnedest to not cry in front of Randy. All I wanted was to be strong for him.

After three hours of making small talk with the friends and family, Randy and I finally went back to the hotel. I was drained, and I knew Randy was more worse off than me. He was trying so hard to hold in his emotions. I didn't know when, but he was bound to break. I changed into my night clothes, as Randy took a shower. I looked at myself in the mirror. My hair had frizzed a bit from the rain and my make-up was nearly gone from all the times I wiped my eyes. I looked tired. And I was. Tired and worried for Randy. The bathroom door opened, and he came out in his boxers. Together, we turned the covers down, and climbed into bed. I switched the TV off, and stretched out.

"I can't believe he's gone," Randy's voice cut through the dark of the room. I stilled not knowing if he was going to speak again or not. But I didn't have to wait long to find out. "Barry was always there when I needed him. He was just at the wedding; he looked fine to me. He didn't look like he was about to have a heart attack. If… if I would have known…. I would have done things so much differently."

I propped my back on the pillows and looked at him; my eyes adjusting to the darkness. His mask was completely gone, and I could see all of his pain, clearly on his face. He wasn't holding anything back right now. Randy was letting me in. I bit back my own tears at hearing his agonizing words. I reached out for him, and pulled him to me. He laid his head on my chest, wrapping his around me. I sat there, silently, petting him and caressing his face. I stroked his cheek, and suddenly found my fingers were wet. I was shocked to look down and see the tears leaking from his eyes. Randy was crying. He had never, not once, cried in front of me.

But I pushed past my initial stunned feeling, and held him closer to me. I was his wife; it was my job to comfort him, to make him feel better. Randy's wedding vow ran through my head: "in good times and in bad, and in joy as well as in sorrow." I was bound and determined to uphold my part right now. I kissed the top of his head, and cradled him in my arms. Randy had finally broken. Hopefully, from now on, the healing process would start, and we all would learn to live around the whole that was made when Barry Orton died.

A/N

So very sad. So heart-wrenching. Not much to say on this one. But, please REVIEW!

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