"Seriously, Commander, what the hell? Do you need to start a firefight wherever we go?" Joker asked, spinning around in his chair as Serena made her way up behind him, datapad in hand.

"Okay, first of all, how did you know it was me? And, second of all, it's never my fault. I swear! Trouble just follows me wherever I go." It was true. From her time back on Earth, to Elysium, to the hunt for Saren…it seemed that a good firefight was never far behind. She even thought "trouble" should be her middle name.

"I always know your footsteps. Stealth is not your biggest forte. Though I'm still keeping my request for mirrors open. Some of these recruits you're picking up are a bit shady. But don't tell any of them I said that." He turned back to the controls as Serena took the seat to his right. "It was a simple pick-up. How did that turn out so horribly wrong?"

Serena shrugged as she adjusted her body to look out the window. "Apparently the warden had other plans in mind." Her hand reached up to touch the medallion hanging from her neck. "He was eager to capture 'The Great Commander Shepard'". Joker's snort of laughter made her turn back to him.

"Poor guy didn't have a chance," he said, making her smile.

"Damn right."

"Soooo, not that I don't mind your company, but what brings you up here?"

Serena just shook her head at Joker's bluntness. He had probably been watching some illegal extranet site and was annoyed that she had gone up to bother him.

"This," she said simply, handing him the datapad.

Joker took a few minutes to read the information on the pad and then slowly looked up at her.

"Are you…are you sure you want to do this?"

Serena nodded. Right now, it was the only thing she was sure of. "I still need to tell Chakwas and Garrus, but I wanted you to be the first to know."

"Do you want me to set a course – "

"Right away," Serena nodded again. She needed this. Needed to see it for herself. "And I want you to come with me."

There was a slightly awkward pause in which they both seemed to relive the last moments of her life. They hadn't spoken about it. It seemed that they had come to a silent mutual understanding in which they wouldn't talk about the circumstances of her death.

"I…yeah, okay," Joker finally said. "I'll go."

Serena stood up and reached out to squeeze his shoulder before making her way to the elevator. Joker's voice rang over the comm just as she pushed the button to the third deck.

"ETA to Alchera, 8 hours and 34 minutes."

Kaidan lay down in his bed afraid to go to sleep. He had been having those dreams again. The ones where Serena would talk to him. He sighed scrubbing his hands over his face. Damn it. The dinner with Lilith had brought back all his memories of Serena full force.

It wasn't that he was even thinking of Lilith in any way other than as a friend. After that first dinner, he had opted to just be on his own. He knew how easily rumors spread in such a small colony, and the last thing he needed was for everyone to think he and Lilith were seeing each other. She had been disappointed when Kaidan had rejected her subsequent dinner invitations but seemed to understand. At least, he thought she understood. She had stopped asking him to dinner, and Kaidan was glad that she was also starting to maintain her distance from him as well.

He got off the bed and poured himself a glass of water before settling on a nearby chair. He was frustrated. Even after two years, Serena still affected him. He let out a bitter laugh. He had known her dead longer than he had known her alive. And he was still pining for her.

She had been the only one that he had given his heart to. The only woman that he had opened up to. He had told her everything. Brain Camp, Vyrnnus…and she had accepted him. Him. Of all the guys she could have had, she had chosen him.

Kaidan thought back to the days on the Normandy. To the first time that he had talked to her in private. He had been in the med bay getting over a migraine when Serena had walked in. The lights had been turned off, but he knew it was her. By that time, he had already memorized her sweet scent. He had turned on a bed lamp and was surprised to see the terror in her eyes. Later, he found out that she had been afraid of the dark.

Kaidan felt a smile spread on his lips. The first real smile since Serena had died. They had talked that night for hours until Dr. Chakwas had finally shooed them out so that they could get some actual sleep.

Those months that he had served on the Normandy had been the best months of his life. He had made real friends, had finally found a home, and he had met Serena. Thinking back, between the side missions for the Alliance and the hunt for Saren, those days had been unpredictable. One day they would be searching for minerals and the next they would be out hot on Saren's trail. But he wouldn't have changed it for the world.

He liked to think that it was the Normandy that had brought them all together. They had all been assigned to the best ship in the fleet. And he had never worked with a better crew. Yes, the Normandy had certainly brought out the best in all of them.

Kaidan finally made his way back into bed. The dreams with Serena were something he had always both dreaded and looked forward to. He loved seeing her, but it was the yearning to be with her that killed him. He rolled over to his stomach and buried his face in the pillow.

He couldn't control his dreams, but if he could, he would stay there with Serena forever.

Serena could feel her heart pounding against her chest as the shuttle slowed down to land. She looked over at Garrus and Joker. Dr. Chakwas had opted to stay on the ship saying that she didn't want to drudge up any old memories, and Serena had understood, not pressing her further.

Joker looked slightly uncomfortable in his enviro suit. It wasn't as bulky as her's or Garrus' armor, but it was still confining. She took a deep breath before putting on her helmet and then turned around to make sure Joker and Garrus had their helmets on before pushing the button to open the shuttle door.

She stood in the shuttle as she took in the scene before her. There it lay. The Normandy, her home, in pieces. A gust of wind picked up a swirl of snow in front of them. She felt a hand on her shoulder and turned to see Garrus take a step out.

"You guys coming?" she heard him say through the comm in her helmet.

She merely nodded, afraid her voice would betray the surge of emotions running through her body. She linked her arm with Joker's, and they both followed Garrus out. Garrus quickly went his own way leaving Serena and Joker alone.

"Where should we start?" she asked him, looking around at the huge pieces around them.

"There's only one place I want to go," he answered already pulling her toward the section that contained the bridge.

"Not so fast. I don't want you to fall," she called after him, tightening her grip on his arm.

They made their way into the debris, dodging exposed cables until they finally reached the cockpit. Joker slipped away from her and walked forward to his old station. Serena moved back to give him some privacy. She walked out and began exploring the rest of the ship picking up dogtags along the way. It wasn't until she reached the section that contained the sleeper pods that she almost lost her breath.

Serena's chest felt heavy as she walked into the jumbled mess. This was the last time that she had seen Kaidan. He had run up to her, intent on staying with her on the ship. She knew that the only way to keep him safe, to get him into a pod without her, was to give him an order. And that's what she had done.

Kaidan. Go. Now.

Those were the last words she had said to him. Not "My life was nothing before you"…or "I love you". No. It was a damn order.

She needed him. Needed to feel him beside her as they went after the Reapers. Needed to feel his strength so that she could find her own.

"Shepard, you need to take a look at this," Garrus' voice cut through her thoughts.

She took one last look around the area and then located Garrus on her HUD. She met Joker as he came out of his own section, and they walked together toward Garrus on the far end of the clearing. Garrus seemed to be staring at something on the ledge in front of them.

"What's wrong?" she asked, getting ready to take out her pistol if the need arose. She saw him point up to the ledge, and Serena couldn't contain the gasp that escaped from her lips.

He had been pointing to her helmet. Her beloved N7 helmet. She climbed up and reached for it. The cold weather had done nothing to mar the exterior. It looked the same as the last time she had put it on.

She jumped off the ledge, gripping the helmet tightly in one arm. "Are you guys ready to go?"

Garrus and Joker both nodded, and they made their way back to the shuttle.

"Thank you," she said to them as the shuttle drove them back to the SR-2. They had all removed their helmets, and Serena could tell that they had all cried at some point during their excursion though no one would ever admit to it. "Thank you for coming with me."

"I would walk into hell with you, Shepard," Garrus said gruffly.

"I may not be on the battlefield next to you," Joker added, "but I'm with you every step of the way."

Serena nodded, acknowledging their loyalty. She felt comforted by their trust and faith in her. If only she could find that faith in herself.