Whoo-hoo. Hiya, everybody. I'm back with more of 'Tears In Heavan'. Yeah, you know I don't own Harry Potter. Erm...if you have a true story about you and someone and you want to see it happen to your favorite couple in this fic happen, then e-mail me right away. I never have mail. - -. Okey...
My Only Love
Flash Back
"But....why?" a nine year old James asked. The girl that stood infront of him was shorter then him, but older. Her blonde hair was down to her waist and she had blue eyes. The two had been best friends since day one. Their father's were old collage roomates. And today- today something would happen that would rip them apart.
"I'm sorry, James. But daddy's been transeferd to America so I have no choice. Mummy says that we can write to eachother all the time. And the munite my dad can come back, we will! I know this is hard." Tears began to well up in his eyes.
"But-but, your my best friend. Your my only friend. And your family's the only other family of magic!" The girl smiled weakly. She put her hand on his shoulder. She was only ten.
"Your my best friend. And I'll never have a better. Besides, in two years you'll be able to go to Hogwarts. I wont. You'll make loads of friends and everybody will love you." James looked at her, not sure how to take that.
"Yes....that's true. But you WILL have a better friend. You'll have a boyfriend and forget all about me!" The girl laughed and hugged him.
"I can't promise I wont fall inlove, but I will promise I wont forget you. The letters, remember? You can tell me all about the girls you like and I'll tell you about boys in America. Promise?" She asked, holding out her pinky. James smiled and hooked pinkies with her.
End
"Hey Lily! What are you doing in the dorm? I thought you were supposed to be in the Heads dorm!" Alishea asked, floping down on the couch across from Lily. She smiled up at her friends and sat up in her chair. Marquisha and Rini took seats next to Alishea and grinned.
"So girl, tell me. What's life like living with James Potter?" Marquisha asked. Rini and Alishea giggled. Lily went scarlet and looked down.
"She's completely smitten. I know he's gorgeous and he's your boyfriend and all, but exactly how many times have you two gone at it?" Rini asked, shifting uncomfortably in her seat. Lily looked up at them alarmed and shook her head quickly.
"Oh, no! No! We haven't....no! Not once. We're still in school!" she said astounded. Rini looked over at Marquisha and Alishea and shrugged.
"Realy? I'm supprised. Even with you being you Lily, I'd have thought you would have atleast done it once!" Alishea said nervously. Lily bit her lip. Her and James had this whole 'it's real good now' type of relationship going on. There would be kissing, and holding, and hugging, but they never tried to go any farther. It also came as a shock to Lily that James hadn't even considered it yet. Wasn't he known for best in bed? But she found it comforting that he hadn't tried to push her into doing it, or seducing her against her will.
"Theres.....there's nothing wrong with my relationship with James. We just..........I mean....I don't know about him but-"
"You love him, right? And why not just once? You've loved eachother six years, and have been daiting four. Your eighteen and you two are insepreble. Why not give it a go? Lance and I have. Protection, ofcorse." Rini interupted her. Lily stared at her friends. She didn't want to be preasured into pleasing her lover. But half of her started longing for it. Part of her wanted, needed and expected it. The other half was not sure....
"But don't just do it because we've done it. Lance and I love eachother, but we've only known each other a year. You've watched him grow. And I know he loves you more then what people think. But it's all your decision. Your sitting in the passangers seat. You help call the shots!" Rini added quickly. Lily nodded nervously and stood up.
"I think you've proved your point. But-I'd rather have this conversation with James. See you tomarrow." the Head Girl stood up and walked out of the dorm. Her mind began racing. Questions that never crossed her mind. Did James not want to have sex with her? Was that why he never tried? No, you stupid girl! I'm sure he does. He respects you more then that! Her mind scrowled.
She found James reading a book on the History of Quidditch. He was sitting on his bed with his nose burried deep in the book. Lily cleared her throat to get his attention, and his eyes jumped off the book and onto her. He smiled his usual lopsided grin and motioned her to come lay next to him. Lily's eyes widened and she backed up a bit, recieving a strange look from the Head Boy.
"What's going on Lily?" he asked worriedly, jumping up from his stance on his stomeche. Lily sighed and walked over to his chest at the end of his bed. James eyed her wirely and raised a brow in curiosity.
"I think we should talk about.........about...er...well.....James, do you realy, honestly..like me?" she asked. She bit her lip when James looked at her with no expression.
"No." he answered flatly. Lily blinked back tears. She jumped when his hand tuched her face.
"I don't like you. I love you. You know that." Lily couldn't help but smile. He was absolutly the most sweetest, most sincere, romantic boy-man- she had ever met. Even with his strange split personality-two people she never imagined herself daiting- she couldn't ask for anyone better. He treated her as if she were the reason for life. More decent then any man had ever treated her.
"I love you too.......so...that's why I think we should talk about........just how much we love each other." James blinked and opened his mouth. He fell to his bottom on his bed.
"Oh...." he trailed off looking slightly embarassed. Lily smiled weakly. He looked absolutly adorable when he was embarassed. His black hair tossled and face red.
"Lily.....if you don't want to-" Lily's eyes widened as he began to speak. She jumped at him and shouved him onto his back.
"It's not that!" she said sitting by his bent knees. James was caught off guard so he was quiet for a few seconds. When he finaly got the nerve to speak up, his voice was almost croaked.
"It's just......I like our relationship as it is but..........I wouldn't mind......proving my love to you......" Lily bit her lip and nodded. James didn't know if he really wanted this. It was weird. Before their relationship, he remembered thinking with his libido alot, but now....he would rather her fall asleep in his arms in one of his shirts and jeans rather then in a nigglee or naked.
"Do you.........want to......." she looked into his eyes. James nodded nervously and kissed her passionately. Lily kissed back and worked her way up to straddle him. James placed his hands on her waist and lift himself up to kiss her again. She tore away and looked at him wide eyed.
"James....." she started but stoped when she noticed the look on James' face. It was almost like the look when they were in the bathroom. Full of need, like his need for pain. James felt mortified. Why am I so scared?!' he asked himself. I've dreamed this a thousand times before! Why am I acting like a complete whimp?!
He gulped. He wanted this, no- he needed this. But why was he so freaked out. What if I hurt her! Or what if something goes wrong! It could not only make us regret this, but it could also tear us apart! Things began rushing through his head and a surge of pain rushed over him.
"Ja-" James put a hand over her mouth. He began to unknot her tie and unbuttoned her school shirt. Lily almost bit back a smile. As much as she feared this, she couldn't help but actually enjoy it.
She put her arms back to help him remove her shirt and stared in happiness as his eyes widened in this sort of way. James' mouth fell open a bit. A surge of excitment shot through him. It was like the backwards feeling of being arounnd a dementor. Happiness shot through him. God did he love this girl.
Lily helped him slide his t-shirt off and looked into his eyes. Although the fear of this jump still waded in her blood, she felt more confidant and more intuned. She realized that what she was doing couldn't be wrong. She loved James. More then anything she could possibly imagine. The two had everything togeather. Love. Happiness. And of corse the trust. And this would seal the deal. This would prove that the two were unbrakeable. And they both wanted this.
That night James realized what things were about. Questions that confused him were answered. He knew right then and there that he'd never need anything-or anyone-else to fill in the blanks. Life wasn't about pain anymore. No. Life was about them. And their love.
Remus couldn't help but smile. His mind wavering. He actually started to laugh and began running through the halls whooing. A few of the portaits stared at him annoyingly and one even yelled at him for acting so out of line.
"Aww, screw you!" he shouted back at it. The picture looked taken aback and opened it's mouth to say something but Remus was long gone. He ran to Gryffindor tower and shouted 'Silly Goose' to the portrait of the young woman with a long golden braid. She shot him he exact sme look of annoyance and swung open as he practicaly bounced in.
Sirius was sitting on the gold and red couch where Lily's friends had been earlier and was staring depressingly into the fire.
"Great day it's been, ah Padfoot!" The handsome boy turned in his seat and raised a brow. Remus usualy wasn't this happy. The look on Remus' face was recognizable though. It was the look that all boys got when they were either in love or thought they were.
"Lovely.." he muttered sarcasticaly. Remus' smile faded a bit and he began to control his excitment. Sirius didn't look quite as happy as usual.
"What is it, mate?" he asked him, sitting in the lazy boy across. Sirius sighed and smacked back onto the couch.
"Damn life........anyways..what're you so happy about? Some lass if I'm not mistaken, eh?" Remus' smile widened once again and he sighed.
"I asked Sapphira if she wanted to be my girlfriend and she said, 'Permission from Alien's afirmative'........I'm guessing that means yes cause we have a date tommarrow night! Man, you and Prongs and Wormtail are right. Being inlove is the best thing ever. God! I feel like doing absolutly ludicris things. Jumping. Dancing. Singing. I even told off a portrait! I feel excellerated!" Sirius laughed.
"Yep. Your inlove. That or on drugs!" Remus looked at his friend as if he WERE on drugs. A dazzy look.
"She's absolutly incredible. Smart, sweet, and God damn gorgoues. Tell me, Padfoot my friend, what do I do on our first date? I mean....you've been on so many dates! Do I-I take her out to eat? Do we go for a walk? There are so many things.......I mean.....I don't know anything. What do girls like and all........you've got to help me Sirius!" Remus practicaly shouted. Sirius looked at him as if he were going crazy.
"Woah! Woah! Calm down, Moony! First, breathe, okey? We don't need you incarsenated before your actual date. First, Sapphira is.......er well.......diffrent. She's probobly not expecting the usual. You know..........candle lit dinners.....romantic walks on the beach-er...even though we probobly couldn't even work THAT one out. Erm, you two enjoy the same things. Ask her what she wants to do. Girls like it when guys arn't always incharged. Give her a chance at the wheel, if you know what I mean."
Remus looked at his best friend hopefully. It wasn't that Remus was a social outcast or anything of the sort, he just didn't get around much on the daiting leval. He'd been with one or two girls the past six years but those harldy counted as dates. This girl, he realy liked. And not in the way of infactuation. No- it was defidently love. He could stare at her for hours. And she wasn't perfect. Not like Janice Lin Fey. His very first crush. Beautiful, smart and everybody loved her. No, he settled for the imperfect sort now. Sapphira, in his mind, was special. She wasn't drop dead gorgeous, but pretty enough for him. She wasn't the sharppest tool in the shed, but he wouldn't mind toturing her. And in no way was she popular, but that ment the more for him, so he could care less.
"Thanks, Padfoot. No wonder you can get any girl you want." The smile on Sirius' face faded a bit. Remus' brow curved as he watched his friend lower his head. Sirius was just the same as James. Maybe a little haughty- but still the most generous person you'd ever meet. Misunderstood? True.
"Your having problems with a girl? Arn't you going out with Dru?" Moony asked. Sirius sighed and leaned his head back against the couch.
"I don't know!" he moaned rubing his hand over his face. The sparks in the fire seemed wild tonight and were dancing with excitment. They filled the dark room with their bright orange, red and yellow flames, casting this glare on both boys making them look mysterious and more handsome then ever.
"I'm just confused. I've always had luck with girls. And how's it I fall for the girl who reminds me of the life I hate? My 'blood tied family'. The darkness. How is it I fall in love with a girl who wont show emotion? She won't warm up to anybody, wont let them in. And it makes me so mad because she smiles at me in this way that I can't resist. And though we're togeather, mate, it's all because this deal." Remus' eyes widened.
"Deal? You asked her to go out with you in a deal?" Sirius nodded his head solemly.
"We were hanging out outside and I sat on her so she couldn't sit up and I said the only way I'd get up is if she went out with me and then she made me admit that I was taken to everyone and..........I don't know. I love her, I realy do. And she spends time with me, but I can't help but wonder if it's only because of the deal. She told me everything. Like she trusts me. Told me about how hard her life has been and how she learned that emotions were a waste of time and how her barrier was always and forever. And it's not just her. It's me too. How can I love someone who reminds me of what I hate?"
Remus shuffled his feet on the carpet. He didn't know how to deal with this. Usual Sirius was the one with the girl advice. All he knew was Sirius and Drusella were both good people and good for eachother. They contrast eachother. And yet they shared so much. Pain. Disgrace of family.
"Talk to her.......I guess...." Moony said slowly. Sirius looked up at him. Moony was a realy great person. He could tuch one someone with his words. But could he, Sirius, possibly have the balls to confront her? It was something he realy wanted and when he usualy wanted something he'd work at it untill it was finaly his for the keepping.
"I guess so." He stood up and headed toward the portait. He stoped and turned, flashing Remus a huge, genuine smile.
"Score for the wolf-man!" he said, in a voice just above a whisper. Remus laughed. Alright, Sirius Black was back.
Lily laid in her lovers arm that night. Both breathing heavily. They had gone to Heavan and boy did she feel good about it. Though she felt naughty and dirty, it was the most wonderful thing in the world. He tried so hard not to harm her. His sweet smile. And she had a new favorite look for him. This naughty playful look he had when she'd mumble about their love making.
She sat up a bit to see hazel eyes staring back at her. A smile spread across her face as she felt his arms wrap around her naked body. Lily imagined herself long ago. When the thoughts of being in this position with James was so wrong it should be illigeal. 'Silly little girl. He's absolutly the most wonderful creature on earth. He'll make you so happy!' she yelled at her more innocent self. She wished she could go back in time. Maybe then their love would have been more strong and this wouldn't have been the first time.
"I dun wanna get uhph....." she mumbled tiresly. She grinned happily when she felt and heared him laugh.
"Silly Lily. You think I wanna get up? It's ten o'clock and I'm still in the ......mood." he said smiling the famous Potter smile. Lily laughed and sat up, turning around to face him.
"Still? Why, wasn't I good enough?" It was James' turn to laughed and he tackled her so the two rolled around and became intwined with the blankets.
"You were perfect. I just want some more. Is that too much to ask?" Lily shook her head and kissed her sweet once again. His warm body next to her's felt so good. She leaned up and began kissing his shoulder and down. His elbow. She stoped at his forearm and squeesed her eyes shut.
"I'm sorry Lily. But I was stupid-"
"I love you James. And that's all that realy matters." James smiled and held Lily close to him. He was truly happy. Nothing could break this down. Nothing. Nope. He was in love and there was nothing that could stop them now. ............................................................................ ................................
Deep in my soul a love so strong it takes control
Now we both know the secrets bare the feeling shows
Driven far apart I make a wish on a shooting star
And there will come a day somewhere far away in your arms I'll stay My only love
Even though your gone love will still live on the feeling is so strong my only love
There will come a day somewhere far away in your arms I'll stay My only love
You;e reached the deepest part of the secret in my heart I've known it from the start My only love my only love
My Only Love- from Sailor Moon.
Oosh, Romeo and Juliet seems popular. I'm working on it, I sware! I just need to watch Aladdin all over again. (Sweat drop) And Robin Hood. Oh well, keep those reviews comming!! La, la. See you!!!!