Disclaimer: I own Jasper! :D
Alice: In your dreams!
Me: *Ties Jasper up and runs away impossibly fast*
Alice: NOOOO! * Chases after us, leaving readers in awkward silence*
Edward: *sighs* I guess I'll do the disclaimer. Fangluver does not own Jasper, nor does she own Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, or Breaking Dawn.
Me: (in background) Yes I doooo!
Bella: Have fun reading! Oh, and Fangluver has an URGENT authors note at the bottom!
I could feel the temperature change from outside and the Cullen house. I shivered in the warmth of the house and reached down to pet Sammi. I knew this house like the back of my hand. I had memorized every detail, every square inch of this house while they were gone. I knew every corner of this house, from the dips of the floor to the end and start of the walls. I heard the door close and Jasper took my hand, leading me to the couch. I didn't bother to tell him I didn't need help to navigate around the house, I was afraid I might creep him out. Sammi layed down at my feet and I leaned down to scratch behind her ears. I could feel the vibrations as Emmett walked through the house. Smaller vibrations came from the upstairs and I felt a breeze and the couch sank beside me from weight.
"Hi, Alice." I said, brightly. She laughed and poked me in the arm.
"You're so precise it's strange," she laughed and I bit my lip. Sammi stretched at my feet and I felt Alice's weight leave the cushion.
"You're dog is so cute," she squealed. I giggled and reached down to pet Sammi once again.
"She's so spoiled," I said, rubbing her belly. I heard footsteps approaching, not light enough to be feminine, but not heavy enough to be Jasper or Emmett's.
"Carlisle?" I guessed.
"Alice was right; you're very precise." he chuckled. I smiled and stood up, opening my arms. He hugged me and I held back tears.
"I'm so sorry, Carlisle." I whispered. "But it had to be done." I trembled and he shushed me, holding a hand against my head.
"It's alright, Bella. It took much courage to do what you did. I'm proud to call you my daughter." he whispered and I gave him a watery smile. "Now, let's check those bandages."
I nodded and he took me by the hand, walking me to the stairs. I heard Sammi hurry to get up and I commanded her to stay. Carlisle lead me up the stairs and to what I imagined was his study. I sat down on the bed and layed down. I lifted up my shirt and ran my fingers over the bandages that concealed my knife wound. Carlisle shocked me, by putting a hand on mine. I jumped and almost had a heat attack.
"You have to remember: I can't exactly see you sneak up on me," I joked. He apologized and slowly started to unwind my bandages. When he reached the end, I felt pain. I could smell the coppery scent now and my breath caught. Carlisle examined my wound for a few more moments before starting to wrap it up in a new bandage. After he was done he moved on to my shoulder. I gasped as he unwound the bandage, sending off waves of pain. He gently brushed his fingers across the wound and I let out a cry. He froze and apologized numerous times before starting to wrap up my shoulder. I hissed and my nails dug into my palms. A cold hand found its way into my hand and I squeezed it hard. It squeezed back lightly and a hand brushed my hair behing my ear.
"I'm here, Bella." Esme said encouragingly. I nodded and tears formed in my eyes as Carlisle finished up. I tissue found its way into my hand and I wiped at my tears.
"Thanks," I croaked. I sighed and laid back down. Carlisle wiped at my wound with a warm cloth and the pain was relieved. Once he took the cloth away, the pain was immediately back. I breathed deeply through my nose as he wrapped my shoulder in new bandages.
"Do you want anything for pain?" he asked. I though about lying for a moment, but didn't want Charlie to find me writhering in pain in the night.
"Yes, please." I answered. I felt him tie something around my arm and then the dampness of a cleansing pad. I wrinkled my nose at the antiseptic smell and I felt him grip my arm. There was a prick of a needle and I breathed in sharply through clenched teeth. He put a band-aid on my arm and I stood.
"That should be good for the next twenty to tweny-four hours." he reassured him. I thanked him and gave him a hug. He left and I was with Esme. I twirled a piece of my hair on my finger and considered about what to say. Esme me beat me to the point.
She came up to me and hugged me tightly.
"Edward is in his room." she whispered lightly in my ear. I smiled in thanks and kissed her cheek. She seemed to realize that I needed no help and I was glad.
I walked slowly down the hall, not bothering to count my steps. I knew this house too well. I stopped and looked up, knowing that the cross that Edward had showed me that very first time would be above me. I pictured it in my head, how beautiful it had been. I raised a hand as if to touch it, but let it drop. I continued to walk down the hall until I came to the last door. I reached out a shaking hand to lay it on the door. So I had gotten it right. I pushed it open slightly, holding my breath.
"Edward?" I said softly. No answer. I felt my stomach plummet as I considered whether or not to step into the room. My foot moved without my consent and I was in Edward's room. I felt my breath catch as I took hesitant steps into the room. I came to his bookshelf and swept my fingers over the CDs. I came across the CD player and the memories came back. I gasped and sank to the floor. I curled into myself and swallowed sobs. I didn't hear him, he was just suddenly there. He pulled me into his arms and I rested my head on his shoulder. I breathed in his scent and put my arms around him tentatively. He took that as an invitation and leaned down to brush his lips against mine. My nerves were lit on fire and it was almost as though I could see again.
I buried my fingers in his hair and kissed him back with my every being. I finally broke away and rested my forehead against his. His cool breath brushed over my eyelids and he stroked my face. I pulled away from him and sat back.
"I'm sorry," I whispered, "I can't." I looked away, feeling his stare burning on my face. "I'm so sorry," I whispered again. "You didn't deserve all those things I said. I said them to protect you. I didn't want you to get hurt by her." He stayed silent so I continued
"She hurt me in ways you can never imagine, haunted me in ways that were...indescribable. I couldn't let you gp through the things I had to." I didn't want to go into detail, but I let something slip, "She tortured me for information about you. Where you were, what you were up to. I didn't tell her, I didn't know. Instead, I gave her vivid description of how James died." This was a long time ago, immediately after Edward had left. The pack had found me, Jake had nursed me back to health. I wasn't sure I had ever truly recovered, though.
"I love you," I said strongly.
"I love you," he said, just as strong. I felt him move forward and I lifted my chin expectantly. I felt his lips brush mine, before applying more pressure. I wrapped my arms around him and burrowed my hands in his unruly hair. He kissed me harder and I melted into him. We broke away and I rested my head in the crook of his neck, finding comfort in his arms. I slowly reached up to trace his face, starting with his hair. I ran my fingers through it, over and over again. I memorized the tecture of it, the length. I traced over his ears, smiling secretly. I moved my fingers to brush over his forehead. His eyebrows were down, as if he were frowning. I pursed my lips as I moved my fingers to spread out his creased forehead. He sighed, and I shivered at his cool breath. I ran my hands over his eyelids, in awe of the tips of my fingers brushed his eyelids, and I paused to go over his eyelids a second time. I'd kill to see those beautiful topaz eyes looking into mine again. I carefully mapped out his face, memorizing it once again in my head. I didn't need to do this at all, I had every feature of his face imprinted in my mind. I continued anyways. I stroked his cheekbones, and caressed his cheeks. My fingers ran quickly over his nose, getting the basics, no more. I didn't want to agonize Edward anymore than I had to. Finally, I came to his lips. I caressed them so gently and they parted under my touch, kissing them softly. I brushed my fingers over them one last time before returning to his eyes. I felt drawn to them, and I couldn't help but sweep my fingers over them again and again. Each time, I grew more furious with myself and depressed. I stopped in mid-stroke, my fingers trembling slightly. They shook so softly, I didn't even know they were. But Edward felt their small quiver and I felt his eyes snap open. He guided my hands away from his face and tucked my head in his chest.
"What is it, love?" he asked. I shook with anger at myself. Tears crowded at the edge of my already sore eyes. I closed my unseeing eyes, and a singled tear slid down my cheek. Edward swiped it away and held me, like I was going to start sobbing. But I was done crying, it wouldn't get me anywhere. I held Edward's hand for dear life as I spoke.
"I want to see again."
IMPORTANT AUTHORS NOTE! READ!
Okay, sorry for the long long long wait! My computer was busted and I lost every. single. thing. on my computer! D: Yeah, suckish. I got my computer back, but sadly none of my work will be able to be recovered. :/ Sooo...what did you think? I sorta kinda went out on a whim...I had a huge writers block...oh and fyi, Bella and Edward aren't done talking yet! For those of you who think that Bella taking Edward back ASAP in New Moon wasn't acceptable, I'll probably make Edward work to get Bella's trust back. Don't worry! :D Ok, um, I know what's going to happen later on in the story, I have it allllllll planned out. ;) But I'm sort of stuck. So I guess you're gunna have to be stuck with me, right? Well, if you peeps have ANY ideas, please PM me... yeah im a taaad desperate. ;) Writers block happens often with me, sadly! :p Soooo...R and R! Thanks for tuning in! Check out my other stories!
-fangluver
R&R!