Fact 1: Harry Potter is owned by JK Rowling.

Fact 2: I am not her.

Conclusion: It isn't mine.

A/N-- I know its been a while since I updated. I've had writer's block and couldn't get this to come out the way I wanted it to. I am already almost finished with the next chapter, though... so it should be up soon. Thanks for reading, and reviews are always appreciated!!

Stupid, Stupid, Stupid! I don't know how I tricked myself into thinking we were somehow friends now... I must be losing my mind.

I was pacing back and forth in front my bed, trying to stop the tears from falling down my face. A nasty comment from Malfoy should not make me feel this way... end of story. Still, I couldn't forget the feeling of lead dropping into my stomach when the world "Mudblood" came out of his snarling mouth.

Sure, we had managed to have a few civil conversations with one another, and he had helped prevent his Death Eater father from killing me. That didn't make us friends. Obviously. There had been once... that night in the room of requirement that he had felt like my friend, much more like a friend than anyone, even Harry and Ron, had lately. Just knowing he was there, in the same room as me, made me feel safe somehow- comfortable. I felt like he was the one person who could protect me, who would protect me.

But after that he had gone back to pretending I didn't even exist- except for last Wednesday night when he met with me just long enough to tell me that everything was fine and that there was no news from his father. Then he turned on his heel and walked out, leaving me desperately wishing he would turn back and make me believe that everything really would be okay instead of leaving me with empty words.

Anything that had existed between us was gone, and I was nothing to him but blank space. It shouldn't have hurt so badly, but it did. It left me with a hollowness that I had never felt before. I tried to reason with myself and say that he couldn't exactly be friendly to me, not with everyone around, and at least he wasn't been mean. He wasn't making snide remarks, or commenting on my bloodline. That was something.

Until today...

I shuddered, and squeezed my eyes shut. This was silly. Why did I even care? I looked at my watch and saw that it was almost time to go down to the meet Harry and Ron in the dining hall. I had promised myself I was going to get some homework done before supper, but that hadn't happened. For the first time in my life, I was behind in my studies. I knew I should have felt panicky about it, but for some reason I couldn't manage to feel anything. My thoughts were always somewhere else, a few floors down and several corridors over- somewhere in the Slytherin common room, to be exact.

--

"Hey guys!" Ginny Weasley greeted her brother and friends, her usual smile lighting up her face.

"Hermione not with you, Gin?" Ron asked as he had Harry looked up expectantly.

Ginny frowned softly, not looking forward to the reaction she knew was coming when she told them that no, Hermione wasn't with her and wasn't coming down at all. Hermione had been so distant lately. She tried to make conversation, but there was no energy in her words, no expression behind her eyes. It was like someone had taken the real Hermione and just left an empty shell behind.

Harry didn't want to say anything, and Ron masked his concern with aggravation- snapping at Hermione at every chance he got. Ginny had tried to talk to her. She had tried to ask what was going on, but Hermione refused to even discuss the possibility of something being wrong. She just brushed Ginny's concerns off, claimed she was tired, and quickly changed the subject.

"No, she... umm...she said she has a lot of homework to do and wasn't hungry anyway."

Ginny looked away, but she couldn't miss the looks of disappointment that crossed the boys faces.

--

I knew I shouldn't be making a habit of skipping meals, but it was becoming so easy to do. Not only did I avoid having to make casual conversation, but I also got some time completely to myself since everyone else was in the dining hall.

I stretched my arms up above my head, and started packing my books into my bag. I hadn't gotten much accomplished, but at least I had answered my Potions questions and written the introduction to my Muggle Studies paper. Better than nothing.

It wasn't quite time to meet Malfoy in the room of requirement, but I had noticed that he was usually early and for some reason it irked me not being the first one there. As I made my way down the corridor towards mysterious room, I argued internally with myself over whether I should confront Malfoy about the way he had spoken to me earlier. I knew I would feel silly bringing it up, but I also knew I wouldn't be able to get past it unless I said something.

As I reached the area of the hallway that I was looking for, I smiled to myself because there was no door there... I was first.

I paced in front of the wall, thinking "I need a place where Malfoy and I can meet. A place that only he and I can find." over and over until a small, simple door appeared in front of me.

I walked across the room I had become very used to in the past couple of weeks. Malfoy and I had only met here a few times, but I had made quite a habit of just coming and sitting in the pillow covered floor... trying my best not to think.

I sat on a large teal colored cushion and stretched my legs out in front of me, relishing in the comfort I always found in this strange place. I rested my head back on the wall and closed my eyes, waiting on Malfoy.

I didn't realize I had fallen asleep until I felt someone shaking me awake. I opened my eyes with a start and sat up to see deep grey eyes looking back at me.

"Oh God, Malfoy. You scared me." I stammered, surprising myself at how hard I was breathing.

"Sorry. I didn't want to wake you, but.."

He seemed embarrassed somehow, not an expression I was used to seeing Malfoy wear.

"I have something I need to say to you, and then you can go back to sleep. Okay?"

My heart sank straight into my stomach and my breath caught in my throat. This was it... I had known it was coming but I had still been harboring the pointless hope that it never would. His dad had sent him some kind of information... instructions for us probably, and I still didn't have any idea as to how I was going to go through with this whole thing.

"So... what is it? What do we have to do?"

Confusion crossed his face and he tilted his head slightly before he sat down across from me.

"What are you talking about Granger? Are you getting enough sleep? Because you look pretty tired lately, and I haven't been seeing you at meals. You should real-"

"Ohh no you don't. Don't avoid the subject by pretending you are concerned about me." My voice came out angrier than I had meant for it too, and he responded to the harsh tone, his face instantly hardening.

"Change the subject? But I'm not even sure what the subject is." His voice had an edge to it that hadn't been there before.

"Well, you said you had something important to tell me, but when I asked what it was we are supposed to be doing... what our instructions are, you act all weird."

"Granger... I haven't the slightest idea what you mean by 'instructions'. I simply wanted to apologize to you, but you are making it even more difficult that I expected."

"Apologize? But, I thought your dad..."

"Oh, I see. Yes, my dad did owl me today, but it was nothing of consequence. As usual, he asked how you and I are getting along and said to make sure we are ready when the time comes."

I breathed a sigh of relief... that was what all of the letters had said so far, and as nerve wracking as the waiting game was, I knew it was better than the alternative.

"But that isn't the real reason I need to talk to you. It occurred to me recently that I was putting us both in danger by not acting normally towards you in public. As far as everyone else is concerned, it has to appear that there is absolutely nothing different between us. So, that is why I've been acting like such a jerk towards you. That is why I called you that this morning. I wish I hadn't have. I wish I had at least explained it to you before I decided to be a total ass, but I rarely have the foresight to think about how the things I say and do might effect someone else, and this was no exception."

He paused for a second, and studied my face. I could only hope that I didn't look as completely bewildered as I felt. Was Draco Malfoy actually apologizing to me? Apologizing for the behavior I had become so accustomed to over the past several years?

"As soon as I saw the look on your face today I knew... I realized that you didn't, that you couldn't possibly understand why I was doing it. I wanted to apologize to you then, but ... well, obviously, I couldn't. So, I am now. I'm sorry."

Yep, that was definitely an apology. I should say something... I should definitely say something. He's waiting and that was probably really hard for him.

"It's okay. I understand... now that you've explained. Thanks for apologizing, though. It means a lot to me" My voice was so low by the time I finished talking that I could barely hear myself, but the look on his face told me that he had heard every word.

We sat there for a few minutes, both looking at nothing. It once again dawned on me how oddly comforted I felt sitting there with him, and as soon as the feeling of comfort and warmth washed over me, I wish I didn't have the leave. Knowing it would only get harder the longer I sat there, I sighed heavily and started preparing myself to stand up and trudge back up to my room where I would undoubtedly toss and turn for hours before slipping into a restless sleep.

"You know... I haven't really been sleeping well lately."

Was he reading my mind? Could he possibly be having as much trouble sleeping as me?

"Me either. You were right earlier... what you said about sleep. I know I look awful, but I feel worse."

"Maybe we should... never mind."

"No, what? Maybe we should what?"

"Maybe we should just sleep here. I mean, you looked awfully comfortable when I walked in, and.."

"I would like that." I cut him off, smiling at him- the first real smile to cross my face in what felt like forever.

--

Two Weeks Later

"What kind of question is that? I refuse to answer."

"You can't refuse to answer."

"I most certainly can. Ask something else!"

"Nope, sorry... can't do it. Who will it be, Harry or Ron?"

I narrowed me eyes and bit my lip in frustration. I should have known this wasn't a good idea.

"Fine... what do you mean, Harry or Ron? In what context?"

"Jesus, Granger. Why do you have to make things so complicated? It's a simple question... you have to choose one. Will it be The Boy Wonder, or his freak-show side kick?"

I raised my eyebrow and scowled at the mocking expression on his face.

"I make things complicated? What about you, Malfoy? I thought we agreed we were going to try not to ridicule one another's friends."

"Fine. Sorry, but you still haven't answered my question. Are you so in love with them both that it's impossible to choose? If that is the case, simply tell me, I wouldn't want to cause you such pain." The smirk I had become so accustomed to played across his face and I couldn't help but smile in return.

"Very funny! Love is hardly the problem. I suppose I would choose Harry. My conversations with Ron rarely progress past catty bickering and my refusals to do his homework."

"Poor Weasel.. can't beat Potter at anything can he?"

"Whatever. Your turn. Who will it be- your mom or your dad?"

I was hoping to pose him with a difficult question, since the one he had given the most thought so far was which he preferred- cake or pie, but I realized quickly that I had missed my mark. He simply scoffed and shook his head.

"I hope you didn't think I was going to agonize over that choice, Granger. My mother may be a cold hearted bitch, but she is incapable of even hinting at the level of evil my father possesses. Surely even you could have figured that one out."

"Fine" I said with a smirk "I'm tired of this game anyway. Let's talk about something else."

He changed his position so that he was lying on his back, with one arm behind his head, looking at the ceiling. Before I realized what I was doing, I shifted myself, also, so that we were lying side by side.

"This is weird, isn't it?"

I knew what he was talking about, but I decided to play dumb anyway.

"What's weird... this room? I rather like it."

He chucked softly before answering, "Not the room... this, us."

"Probably."

There were so many things that I wanted to say to him, but I couldn't. Some of them were still hard for me to admit to myself- like that staying here with him on Wednesday nights had become the only thing I looked forward to, that on Thursday mornings I wanted to cry because I knew it would be an entire week before I would feel safe and comfortable again, that sometimes if I allowed my mind to relax enough, I could completely forget that I had hated him once and only saw him as my friend.

I had spent so many hours, and days fighting with myself over considering him a friend. My mind kept telling me that it was wrong... a betrayal somehow, like I was abandoning Harry by being friends with one of his enemies. But, the Draco Malfoy I was spending time with - talking, laughing, and asking one another questions- didn't even seem like the same person that had terrorized us for years. He couldn't possibly be the same arrogant, selfish Slytherin that had harassed me about my muggle background for so long.

This Draco was patient enough to listen to my endless concerns about his father and Lord Voldermort. He was kind enough to tell me everything was going to turn out okay, even though I could see in his eyes that even he didn't believe his lies. He was caring enough to be concerned over my lack of sleep and how little I was eating, despite the dark circles that marked his own face. He was funny, and witty, and smart. He was strong, and determined... and most of all, he was ashamed of the things he had done and the ideals he had once accepted without question simply because they came from his father.

"I never told you what my father said."

His words startled me out of my own thoughts, and I realized he was talking a second too late to actually catch what he had said.

"Hmm?"

"My father's letter this morning... I never told you what it said."

I looked over at him and saw that he had propped himself up on his elbow and was looking at me with a strange look on his face. He looked nervous, and something else... sad maybe, and that worried me. I lifted myself up on my own arm and turned to face him.

I gasped softly and felt my breath catch in my throat. I hadn't realized how close we were, but his eyes were starting back at mine from no more than two inches away.

"I wasn't sure if I was going to tell you. There isn't much to tell really... it's all pretty cryptic... but I figured you would still want to know."

"Oh, right. Of course." I stammered the words out and was embarrassed to realize that his close proximity had made me forget what we were talking about. For a second, I had forgotten everything- where I was, what I was doing, who I was... everything except who I was with.

Draco reached behind his back and pulled a piece of folded parchment out of his pocket. I saw that he hesitated before handing it to me, and suddenly I felt nervous. Maybe I didn't want to know what it said after all. Maybe they had finally gotten the plan together and were expecting us to do something terrible. Or maybe it was worse... maybe they somehow knew I wasn't really willing to help and were planning to kill me.

I could feel my heart pounding wildly in my chest and my stomach felt like it was in my feet as Draco handed the parchment to me. I took it from him and opened it slowly.