What You Never Knew
Regulus Black: The One Who Chose Wrong
1. He loved his name.
Regulus. Sure, people made fun of him for it; it wasn't, after all, the most common of names. But, then again, those ignorant people probably had no idea that Regulus was the name of the brightest star in the Leo constellation, one of the most luminous stars in the nighttime sky.
Regulus Black wanted to be like that star. He wanted to stand out, to be bright, to shine. He wanted for people to look up to him and say to themselves, "Wow, that one's brilliant."
And he was willing to do anything to achieve that.
2. He always regretted how he treated Sirius.
After all, was it really Sirius' fault that he had been Sorted into Gryffindor? No. Sirius couldn't help being born how he was; or at least, that was how Regulus saw it. Before Sirius left for Hogwarts, the two had been as close as anything. Regulus had worshipped Sirius, there was no doubt about it.
Then, the Christmas during Sirius' First Year at Hogwarts, Narcissa's family had come to visit.
"Hello, Regulus," Narcissa greeted him, her tone the same as it always was to him: polite, but very kind, as she always was to her favorite cousin. "Why don't you come make tea for the adults with me?"
It wasn't like Regulus could refuse, so he nodded mutely and followed his older cousin into the kitchen. He really wasn't surprised when Narcissa sat down at the table, making no move to go to the tea set.
"Have a seat, Regulus," she told him, patting the chair beside her. With his tiny nine-year-old body, he managed to get on, sitting with his back straight, just like mother had taught him.
"What do you want to talk about, Cissy?" Regulus asked. He already knew the answer.
"Sirius." Sure enough, he had been right. "I'm sure you know, Regulus, what shame he's brought unto our family."
"Yes."
"Your mother was heartbroken that he disgraced her so; she Flooed to my house, crying about it."
"I know."
Narcissa placed her hand on Regulus' smaller one. "Regulus, I want you to promise me that you'll be in Slytherin."
"I promise."
"Promise me that you won't disappoint your parents, that you'll please them."
"I promise."
"And, Regulus… promise me that you won't follow Sirius around so much when he comes back. Be… colder. Treat him like he deserves to be treated, like the rest of us will treat him: like the disgrace he is."
Regulus was startled by these words, accompanied by the uncommon, spiteful look in his cousin's eye. "But, why, Cissy?"
"I told you, Regulus, he's a disgrace. He's tarnished the Black family. Do you really want to hang around with him? He might try to influence you, Regulus. You're a smart boy; surely you know that?" Narcissa brushed some of Regulus' hair away from his eyes. "You're my cousin, Regulus. I care about you. I don't want you to turn into another one of him; it would just be too much for everyone to take. Please, Regulus, for the sake of our family: promise me."
"…I promise."
Narcissa beamed at him. "That's a good boy. Now come, we have tea to make."
3. In Hogwarts, Severus Snape was almost like an older brother to him.
Of course, he wasn't really an older brother to Regulus. They would have to be related for that to be the case. But Severus, for some reason, seemed to have a soft spot for the younger boy. Perhaps he pitied him for being the sibling of Sirius Black. Perhaps his heart wasn't completely frozen after all. But for whatever reason, whenever Regulus would get bullied; whenever he would find himself in an uncomfortable situation; Severus would always show up to get him out of it.
That was part of why he joined the Dark Lord. Severus had already joined, and Regulus felt that it was his turn to look after Severus for once.
4. Once, when he was thirteen- almost fourteen- he was beaten by his parents.
It wasn't because of anything that he had done. Oh, no. His father had simply come home drunk one day and mistaken his youngest son for Sirius. In a flash, the belt was out, whacking Regulus' backside like it was the new trend. Orion Black hadn't listened to Regulus' cries that he wasn't Sirius, to please stop, to leave him alone. He had just kept hitting, and hitting, and hitting, even after Regulus was crumpled on the ground, crying.
And then, Sirius had come down from his room to see what all the ruckus was about.
He blew a fuse, to use a Muggle saying. Sirius had flown at his father, grabbing the belt from his hand and turning it on him before Orion had had time to blink. Tears streaming down his face, Regulus had only watched as Sirius attacked his father- their father- until, finally, he had dropped the belt. Orion's back was bleeding just as much as Regulus', and he was on the ground, both wand and belt far enough away from him that he couldn't reach them.
"Git outta my house!" Orion Black had slurred angrily, his voice all but shaking the house from its volume. "And don't you ever think about coming back, you filthy little blood traitor!"
"Gladly!" Sirius had screamed back. He had run upstairs, and just three minutes later, come down with a suitcase. Only stopping to shoot a glare at his father, he marched out of the house, going to who knows where.
He hadn't heard Regulus say, his voice tired and weak and barely a whisper, "Thank you."
5. He was in love once.
They met when they were fourteen years old. Her name was Emma Montgomery. She was a sweet girl; very lively, always ready to have fun. Not to mention she was beautiful, intelligent, always prepared for a witty banter, she cared for absolutely everyone- from the old beggar on the street to the little girl looked for her teddy bear- and not once did she make fun of Regulus' name.
Emma was a Muggle.
6. Uncle Alphard loved him.
Everyone assumed that, just because Alphard Black had a soft spot for Muggles, the rebellious Sirius was his favorite. It wasn't true. Alphard loved Regulus the most, with all of his heart, and didn't care how clear he made it. Regulus always got everything he wanted from Uncle Alphard, no matter the price. The two did everything together, whether it was going for ice cream to reading books to talking about girl problems.
It was Alphard who had taken Regulus out to Muggle London one day, where he had met Emma.
It was Regulus who had convinced Alphard to, in his will, leave such a large sum of money to Sirius, so that he wouldn't be totally broke and unable to care for himself. Even though Sirius didn't know it, it was Regulus' way of apologizing and saying that, yes, he did still care.
7. He almost didn't become a Death Eater.
Yes, Regulus believed- mostly- that all Muggles were filth and deserved to die. But then, there was Emma. The two had stayed together for four years, even though they barely saw each other, went to separate schools, and were generally part of two different worlds.
They had had plans to see each other over the Christmas break of Regulus' Seventh Year, but Emma had had to contact him the day before to tell him that she was sick, stuck in bed, and couldn't meet up with him as planned, but that she hoped he liked the chocolates she sent. Regulus had told her that that was alright, that he hoped she felt better soon, and that yes, he loved the chocolate. However, last minute, he had decided to go over to her house and help take care of her, because he knew her parents- Muggle doctors- had to work even on Christmas.
When he had gotten there, he had found Emma in bed, alright. With another boy. He had promptly gone home, given the container of chicken soup to Kreacher as part of his Christmas present, and cried his eyes out.
He received the Dark Mark the next day.
8. After Sirius was disowned, the two only talked once.
Regulus was eighteen years old. He had just graduated Hogwarts a week earlier, and was hanging out with his friends- Snape, Mulciber, Avery, the whole gang- when he had heard his name be called from the other end of the street.
"REGULUS!" Sirius' voice was furious, and Regulus couldn't help but be slightly frightened. The eldest Black had stopped in front of him, smoke practically coming from his ears. He turned to face Regulus' friends. "Go away. Now."
"You think we're going to listen to a blood trai-"
"Mulciber," Regulus cut him off firmly, setting him a withering look. "All of you. Go. I'll catch up with you in the Leaky Cauldron later."
The group of Slytherins sneered at the nineteen-year-old Gryffindor, but kept on walking, continuing with their conversation from before. Regulus turned back to his older brother. "What do you want, Sirius? I don't have all day, you know."
Sirius had glanced around the street almost warily, noting the eyes he had attracted by screaming his brother's name so loudly, and then grabbed Regulus' wrist, dragging the protesting boy to a deserted side street that wouldn't be noticed unless anyone was looking for it especially. They stopped in the middle, where no one could hear them. "What's this I hear about you becoming a Death Eater?"
Regulus looked down, his face a mask. "I don't know. What did you hear?"
Sirius gritted his teeth. "I heard that you're planning on joining them sometime in the near future."
Regulus glanced up, summoning what little courage he possessed and looking his brother in the eye. "One of us has to live up to Mother and Father's expectations."
He fell to the ground as Sirius slapped him. "You fool," the Gryffindor spat. "Do you really care this much about impressing them? About being little Mr. Perfect, just like you always have been?"
Despite himself, Regulus, pushing himself up, smirked. "Sounds to me like you're a wee bit jealous, Sirius."
The Gryffindor gritted his teeth, clenching his fists at the side. "Who's the one that used to follow me like a little lost puppy, eh?"
Regulus glared. "Used to. Key words. I've grown up since them."
"It's more like you've grown bad since then, if you ask me," Sirius shot back. His expression softened. "What happened to you, Regulus? You used to be different; you were a good kid. What changed?"
"I told you, Sirius," Regulus said, his tone less biting now, "I grew up. I figured out the priorities in my life."
"Oh, and murdering innocent Muggles is one of them?"
"Maybe if you'd stuck around, you'd know that that was far from what I want to do!"
"Would I? Would I really? Or would you be too busy hanging up news hangings about Voldemort to talk to me?"
"Don't say his name!"
"You want me to stop saying his name? To be a coward, like you and the rest of your little cronies? Voldemort! Voldemort, Voldemort, Voldemor-"
"Just shut up!" Regulus shouted. "Stop taunting me, like you know what's best for me! You don't! In fact, you left, so I don't even know why you're talking to me right now when you've refused to even look at me for years!"
"Regulus-"
"Don't even deny it, Sirius! Back in Hogwarts, I always tried to catch your eye! I repeatedly tried to come up to you in the hallways! You always ignored me, you always went in the other direction! So why, all of the sudden, are you paying me any mind? Why now?"
"Because I heard a rumor that you were going to screw up your life by becoming one of Voldem- oh, alright, You-Know-Who's henchmen!" Sirius hissed. "And I'm not going to just sit by and let that happen, knowing that I did nothing to even try to stop it!"
"Why?"
"Because you're my brother, that's why!"
Both boys were silent, their features scarily similar, staring at each other. Finally, Regulus, his grey eyes hard, spoke.
"You were once, Sirius," he said quietly. "Once, you were my brother, and I looked up to you. I loved you. But then you left." His eyes glinted. "Then you decided to pretend I didn't exist, that I wasn't your brother. So, do you know what? It's too late. You aren't my brother anymore."
"Reg-"
"No, Sirius. Just… stop. You're just wasting your breath." Regulus turned around and walked back down the side street. He stopped halfway and turned his head around. "I'm sorry."
"I am too, Regulus," Sirius said, staring Regulus straight into his eyes. The eyes they shared. "Sorry that you're making this mistake. The Regulus I know would make a better choice than this. But- you can still not do it, you know. I know people who can help you-"
"It's too late now, Sirius," Regulus told his brother, pulling up his left robe sleeve to reveal the Dark Mark on his arm. "There's nothing you or anyone can do for me now."
And then, he Apparated away.
9. Kreacher was more than just a servant to him.
Was it sad that, when he graduated Hogwarts, his House Elf became his best friend? Regulus knew it was, but who else was he to befriend? All of his old friends from school had suddenly become so… cold. Malicious. And Regulus didn't even know why. Sure, they were Death Eaters now; did that really mean that they had to be so cruel to each other?
Kreacher was the only one who stuck by Regulus' side through everything, during his whole life. The loyal House Elf tended to Regulus' wounds; kept him company when he was lonesome; made sure that the younger Black son was always as happy as could be.
Regulus couldn't help returning the favor, as much as he could. If that meant being a friend to the House Elf, as well as a Master, then that was what he would do. And if that happened to make the both of them better?
Even better.
10. The Dark Lord torturing Kreacher was only part of the reason Regulus betrayed his master.
He and his fellow Death Eaters were on a raid of a Muggle village, killing anyone unfortunate enough to cross their path.
Regulus, currently, had bust open a Muggle house. It looked to house only one person, judging by the few possessions; a girl, if he went by the rather large amount of pink. Slowly, his footsteps echoing on the wooden floors, he walked around the home, pushing open the doors. Finally, he found the woman. She was huddled in a corner, long blonde hair in messy tangles. Her brown eyes gazed up at him, bright and terrified.
Regulus would've remembered her anywhere.
"Hello, Emma," he greeted her, his voice cold. Her jaw dropped with shock.
"R-R-Regulus?" She stammered. "Wh-What are you d-d-doing h-here? Wh-Why are y-you dressed like th-that? Wh-Wh-What's g-going on?" She paused, and then she stood up, hands on her hips, as something occurred to her. "Why haven't I heard from you for a year?"
"Oh, I don't know," Regulus said sarcastically, vanishing his mask with a wave of his hand. His grey eyes glared at her. "Maybe because at Christmas when we were seventeen, I decided to surprise you with some chicken soup- because it's your favorite, and you were sick- and I found you with another man."
Emma's face drooped with guilt. "I'm so sorry, Regulus. It was just once. I mean, we- we barely even saw each other, and he had been chasing me for so long, and I- I just- I'm so sorry, Regulus. I never meant to hurt you."
"Yeah, well, it's a bit too late for that now," he laughed bitterly. "What's done is done."
For a moment, Emma was silent. Then, she said, "What happened to you, Regulus? I've never seen you so… cold. Mean. And why are you dressed like that?" Her eyes widened as she thought of something. "Are you one of the people attacking my neighborhood?"
"I've changed since you last saw me, Emma," Regulus said. He couldn't look her in the eye.
"Yeah, and clearly not for the better!" She exclaimed angrily.
Suddenly, there were footsteps in the house. Both Emma and Regulus froze. Making a split second decision, Regulus hissed, "Emma, go hide in the corner, like you were before." With a wave of his hand, his mask was back on.
"But why? Regulus, you aren't- you aren't going to hurt me, are you?"
"I could never hurt you, Emma," Regulus shook his head, "you should know that by now. Go in the corner."
Emma did this and began whimpering, looking truly scared, while Regulus pointed his wand at her. Rabastan Lestrange found them in this same position.
"Looks like you found one, Black," he leered. He looked her over. "She's a pretty one, too, isn't she?"
"I guess," Regulus grunted noncommittally. She's not pretty, she's beautiful, he added in his head. Even after so long.
"Too bad she's a Mudblood," Rabastan sneered. "So, Regulus, do you want to finish her off, or shall I?"
Regulus froze. His aim had been to distract Rabastan; to get him to go away. He couldn't hurt Emma, he just couldn't… not when he still loved her with all he had.
"As you said, she is rather pretty," he started, pretending to survey Emma carefully. "Perhaps you could let me- handle her, so to speak?"
Rabastan let out a barking laugh. "I'm afraid that the Dark Lord wouldn't like that, even though I, for one, can see where you're coming from. We've got to follow his orders, Regulus, and he said not to leave a single Muggle alive."
"The Dark Lord doesn't have to know."
"The Dark Lord knows everything," Rabastan countered. "Look, are you going to deal with her, or do you want me to? We're almost done here."
"Just… give me a minute with her," Regulus requested. "It's all I need. Then, I'll… dispose of her."
"Fair enough," Rabastan shrugged. "I'll be waiting outside, got it?"
"Got it. See you in a minute, Rabastan."
With a nod, the older Death Eater left. Once Regulus was sure he was gone, he closed the door and walked over to Emma.
"Regulus, what-" he cut her off with a kiss, long and passionate, embedding his fingers in her hair. She kissed him back with a fervor, their lips moving as one; they were both out of breath when they finally broke apart.
"Run," Regulus told her. "Run, and don't look back."
"But, Regulus-"
"Just go."
Emma pulled his head down so their lips met again, and, when they broke apart, said, "I love you, Regulus."
"I love you, too, Emma," he responded. With one soft smile, she then darted out the door.
Just a second later, he heard Rabastan shout, "Avada Kedavra!" and then Emma's scream of terror. Horrified, Regulus burst out of the room, not even bothering to put his mask back on.
"I caught her trying to escape on you, Regulus," Rebastan said. "I got her, don't you worry. Now put your mask back on, it's time to go."
Regulus did this, and mutely followed the older man, his mask hiding the tears streaming down his face.
XxxX
Regulus Black led a complicated life, one full of turmoil, fighting, pain, love, and death. No doubt could be held that, by becoming a Death Eater and a murderer, he had made all the wrong choices in life. Even he knew that.
Yet in the end, he did what everyone least suspected of him. He betrayed the Dark Lord, and lost his life doing so- knowing full well that that would happen. He did it for Kreacher, his best friend; he did it for Emma, the woman he had always loved, the woman who had been so brutally murdered by his own kind just because she was a Muggle; he did it for Sirius, the brother who he had never really stopped loving.
As the Inferi pulled him into the black depths of their waters, their hands clenched around his neck, he knew that he had finally made the right choice.
My longest chapter yet! Thanks to Leah, for nagging me to write this, and to StrawberryFields4EverandEver for suggesting I do Regulus; I found him really interesting to create a life for! Hope you all liked this chapter, and that you won't throw rotten vegetables at me for being so late to update!
PLEASE review!
Thanks for reading!
-Joelle8