A little bit of insight on this chapter for you… I don't usually use music for inspiration but when I was writing this chapter I had the AMAZING Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol in my head. Such a beautiful song, I hope I managed to capture some of it for you.

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Chapter 19 – Would You Lie With Me

NPOV

It took forever for us to reach the lodge where Jacob and my Mom were recovering. We had received a phone call to say that they were both doing well, but I was still anxious to see them with my own eyes. The very idea that my vampire mother could get ill was so scary it managed to take my mind off Jacob.

Jacob, I thought to myself for the millionth time in the last hour. How did all this go so terribly wrong? I kept swinging back and forth between blaming myself, blaming Jacob, blaming my parents and the rest of the family for keeping me in the dark. All of this could have been so easily avoided with a little bit of honesty. But all of us had kept secrets. I hadn't even been honest with myself so I couldn't blame anyone else. All I could do was hope that Jacob survived this so I could make it up to him.

When I began to fall behind, my daddy lifted me onto his back and carried my piggy-back like when I was a child. I quickly fell asleep and was relieved when I woke up to find myself in the bed next to Jacob, who was still unconscious.

"Jacob?" I whispered, nudging him gently to see if he would wake up. When he didn't respond, I decided to go and find my Grandpa to get an update.

"Renesmee, you're awake!" Grandpa Carlisle said happily, coming over to give me a hug. "Now, I don't want you to worry okay? Jacob is going to be just fine. But if you could just stay with him, I believe his recovery will happen much faster."

"What do you mean?" How could I help Jacob heal?

"Nessie, this Imprint is even more amazing than I ever thought possible!" Grandpa told me excitedly as he led me back into Jacob's room. "Jacob's heart-rate was dangerously low and I was worried that despite your mother's best efforts and mine, we may still lose him. But since you arrived…" he trailed off with a laugh.

"What Grandpa?" I was getting caught up in his enjoyment of the situation, even though I had no idea what he was going on about.

"Nessie, since you arrived Jacob has made almost a full recovery!" He whispered excitedly. "From the moment you were laid down at his side, his heart has just been getting stronger and stronger. It is like he had almost given up but you being here has given him back his reason to live!"

My heart felt like it was going to explode. Could I really have that much influence over Jacob? Was he living for me? I laid down next to him and snuggled into his side, getting as close as possible. I barely noticed as Grandpa left the room, focusing on Jacob's breathing.

"I'm so sorry my Jacob" I whispered softly in his ear, remembering all those TV shows I'd seen about talking to people in comas. What that what was happening now? Was he in a coma or just sleeping? I'd have to ask Grandpa later. For now I was content to just lay with him, whispering in his ear. Telling him all the things that I would be embarrassed to say when he was awake. That nothing had happened with Seth. That though I had thought it was what I wanted, all I really wanted was the feeling I had when I was with him. That I was angry at him for not just telling me, but I understood that he didn't want to pressure me to fall in love with him.

I couldn't help but think back over the conversations we had had. When we had been out camping, he had told me! He had actually told me straight out that what we had together was better than Elizabeth Bennett and Mr Darcy and I hadn't listened to him. I had heard what I had wanted to hear, that Jacob would always be with me. I hadn't realized that he had meant that he would always be with me in the way that Lizzie had Darcy.

I remembered how he had told me that everything in the universe had worked to bring my mom, dad and him together to created me, giving Jacob his Imprint and binding the Cullens and the wolf pack together, binding us all to make us stronger. How could I not have seen that simply being best friends would not be a tie strong enough to make our combined family unstoppable? Suddenly it occurred to me that the bond would be strongest if there was a child from our union, and I had an image of what our children would look like. A perfect mix of both of us, beautiful dark skin that would shimmer in the sunlight, Jacob's dark hair with my curls. I couldn't decide who's eyes they would have.

For a moment I felt a twinge of disappointment to think that maybe the only reason for Jacob to love me was for the sake of our families. Then I remembered how he had looked when he had found out that I liked Seth. He was so upset I had thought he was physically ill. If he only loved me for what I could offer the pack, then surely me being with Seth wouldn't be a problem. If I were attached to two of the wolves, that would surely have been better than just one to bind our families.

No. I wasn't going to question it any more. Jacob loved me and I had almost destroyed him. My ignorance and refusal to see what was right in front of me had almost led me to make the biggest mistake of my life. What if I had actually given my virginity to Seth? The very thought made me cringe now. I had thought I was ready. Why hadn't Alice tried to talk me out of it? I now understood why she had gotten excited when I explained how my heart would race more for Jacob than for Seth. As much as I wish she would have told me not to do it, I knew that I probably would have been more determined.

Slowly I began to drift back off to sleep, dreaming of Jacob. In my dream I wanted to touch him, to hold him and kiss him but he just looked at me with accusing eyes. I was crying, begging him to please listen to what I was saying, begging him to forgive me. He just stood there and watched me, not saying a word. I was shaking, realizing that I had lost him forever. I half knew that I was dreaming, but I couldn't wake up for fear that if I did I wouldn't ever see Jacob's beautiful face again. Suddenly I felt a warming presence, soothing me and calming me. Without moving his mouth, my Jacob began to tell me that it was okay, to stop crying and just talk to him.

I awoke with a start, looking up into Jacob's beautiful eyes which were staring at me with confusion. Seeing him awake at last just made me cry harder. Through my blubbering, I tried to tell him how sorry I was but he just shushed me, holding me tightly and rocking me back and forth.

"Shhh Nessie… It's all going to be okay, I promise. I don't care," he said, causing me to pull away from him. "I swear Nessie, if you and Seth are happy together then I am happy for you both. I'm sorry I overreacted." I tried to stop him, but still couldn't string two words together coherently.

"But where are we?" he asked with a laugh, clearly trying to distract us both from the uncomfortable conversation. "And why do I feel like I've done ten rounds in the ring with Emmett?" Suddenly his face dropped as he remembered what had happened. "How Nessie? What happened?"

There was a quiet knock at the door and Jacob tried to move off the bed, but I clung onto him for dear life and he just sighed and called for my mom to come in. Before I knew what had happened, there was a rush of wind and my mom was on the bed with us, clinging to Jacob's back as tightly as I was.

"Jacob I am so so sorry! If I could just have been a little faster." She was shaking as if crying and looked ill still, which shocked me. I was angry at myself for a moment, realizing that I hadn't even asked after her or Leah.

"It okay Bella, I'm fine I promise! Now what happened?" he demanded, pushing my mom off him slightly.

"They were being so cruel to you Jacob!" she cried. "They were just toying with you, killing you slowly. We got there just in time, but I thought we'd lost you already."

"Wait hang on, who's we?" he asked.

"Leah told me what had happened and we followed you. I was going to shout at you for running again and bring you home." She explained. "When we realized that you were tracking the nomads, we were as fast as we could but you were still around thirty minutes ahead of us. By the time we got there, it was almost too late." She paused, looking unsure what to say next.

"I… We… Leah and I, we killed them. But we didn't know how to fix you. I'm so sorry Jacob but I had to…" she stopped again, shaking with her dry tears.

"Jacob, momma had to suck the venom out of you." I finished for her, causing her to break down even further. "It made her sick and she collapsed. She's been sick ever since."

Suddenly Jacob let go of me completely, turning to my mom and pulling her into a big bear hug. An irrational part of me was jealous for a moment that he was holding her instead of me, but I understood.

"Thank you Bella." He whispered to her, stroking her back to soothe her. "You saved me!"

"But I had to feed on you Jacob!" she cried at him, before laughing suddenly and saying "It was the most disgusting thing I've ever had to do in my life!"

Jacob laughed happily along with her, putting one arm back around me and holding us both to his chest. "Well at least I don't have to worry that you've gotten the taste for wolf blood now!"

"Definitely not Jacob, you have no worries there! And of course Carlisle is made up with the discovery that wolf blood is toxic to us!" she laughed back to him, slowly standing from the bed. "Anyway, I'm sorry to have interrupted. I just had to see that you were awake with my own eyes."

"Stay Bella," he pleaded, looking suddenly nervous to be alone with me.

"No Jacob, you two have a lot to discuss and I need to find Leah and let her know you're okay." She said, kissing him on the cheek then turned to me. "We're all going to head out for a bit to give you both some privacy, and I'll shield you both for the next hour. I know neither of you want Edward in your heads for this."

"Thanks Mom," I said as she disappeared from the room, shutting the door quietly. Now that I had Jacob alone, I couldn't think of how to begin. "Jacob, I'm sorry."

"No Nessie, don't." He stopped me. "Seth is a good guy and you have been dating for a while, I just want you to be happy."

"No Jacob, you don't!" I shouted. It was time for the truth.

JPOV

"I don't what Nessie?" I asked in confusion. Didn't she want me to be happy for her?

"Just shut up for a few minutes, can you?" she growled at me, shocking me into silence.

"Look, nothing happened between me and Seth, okay. We have had a long talk and decided to break up." Oh my God! Could it be true? Was it really over? What did this mean for me and Nessie?

"Oh, I'm sorry Nessie," I lied, trying not to smile.

"No you're not Jacob!" She laughed at me. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Tell her what? Had Seth told her everything? I didn't want to say too much to her until I knew what she was referring to. "I've always told you the truth Nessie."

"Well that right there was a big fat lie Jake!" She laughed again. "You just said you were happy for me and Seth to have sex!" I forced a laugh but couldn't look at her. How could she say those words to lightly, like it was no big deal? My belief that her and Seth were sleeping together nearly led me to get myself killed.

"Okay Nessie, you've got me there. I just…" what could I say. I couldn't say that I thought she was too young because given the chance I would make love to her without a second thought. She had reached her maturity some time ago now and couldn't be judged in human years. "I want to you be happy, okay."

"Jacob, right here, right now… I've never been happier." She said, and there was something in her voice that made me turn and look her in the eye at last. The look in her eyes made my heart race. Could this be our moment at last? What exactly had Seth told her? I needed to hear it from her, so I waited for her to continue.

Dropping her eyes for a moment as if to gather her strength, she finally looked back up at me and asked, "When did it change Jacob? On our camping trip, or before? Is that why…" her eyes glazed over for a moment and I could tell that she was remembering how weirdly I had been behaving on the camping trip. How she had told me that we were best friends and that was all we'd ever be.

"Was that camping trip… were you trying to... Please tell me Jacob!" She begged me. I felt a bit bad, letting her struggle through this, remembering that when I had gone to find her last night, it had been to tell her the truth once and for all. Time to man up and get this all out in the open.

"Okay," I sighed heavily. "You really want to know everything, Nessie? Once this is out there, there's no going back." I warned, but she just nodded with a smile and I began to tell her. Everything. How I hadn't even realized how grown up she had become until Bella pointed it out. How angry Edward had been at first. That it wasn't until I heard her say that a friend was all I'd ever be that I actually realized that I did love her more than that.

I told her how hard it was for me when she went on her date with Lukas, that I had forced Seth to chaperone to keep an eye on him. How broken I had felt when she told me about her crush on Seth, that Bella had been there to help me through it.

Finally I got to last night. I told her about Seth's ultimatum, about Alice coming to me and telling me that Nessie did love me but didn't realize it yet. She looked shocked that Alice had told me that, but she let me continue. I told her that I was coming to find her to tell her everything, but then I had seen them on the cliff top, heard her words to Seth. I couldn't bring myself to explain to her how I had felt at that moment. She knew what those feelings had led to, so she must understand.

When I finally stopped talking, I just watched her. She was so beautiful as she sat there, thinking over my words. Different emotions were pulling at her features every few seconds. After a few minutes she brought her gorgeous brown eyes to meet mine, then smiled the most radiant smile I ever seen.

"I don't think I could pin point it myself," she said suddenly. "Like Alice said, I didn't realize what I was feeling." Wait… was she saying that she loves me too? "I told her that I wanted to sleep with Seth because I thought it was wrong that my heart raced more for you than it did for my boyfriend. It seems so obvious now…" she trailed off with a smile and a shake of her head.

I couldn't believe that it was true. She loves me back. She knows that it is part of the Imprint to love each other romantically and she is okay with that. She isn't feeling pressured to feel anything for me, she felt it already.

But what now? How do we move forward from here? Should I ask her out on a date? It seems a bit lame for us to go out on a formal date when we have known each other for our whole lives.

While I was running over all this in my head, Nessie sat watching me with an amused expression on her face, one eyebrow arched. Suddenly she sighed and said "Jacob! Will you just hurry up and kiss me already!"

That was all the encouragement I needed. In an instant we were moving towards each other. I reached up and put my hand on the back of her neck and pulling her into me. When we were mere millimeters apart I stopped, gazing into her eyes and trying to burn this moment into my memory. The best moment in my entire life deserved to be remembered properly.

Finally, I brought my lips to hers and almost came in that instant at how amazing she felt. Her lips were so soft and sweet. I worried for a moment that I might have dog breath since I hadn't brushed my teeth since yesterday morning, but if I did she didn't complain. In fact she deepened the kiss, opening herself up to me and darting her tongue out to lick my lips. I followed her lead and soon we were making out like crazy, tongues battling each other as we tried to get as closer to each other. I hadn't even noticed that she was now sat straddling my lap until I felt her grind her hips into me, making me aware of the enormous hard on I was sporting.

Snapping back to reality, I knew that as much as I wanted nothing more than to strip her naked and have my way with her, we had to do this properly. I pulled back from her slightly and laughed at the growl she made as she tried to hold me to her.

"Nessie, we have to stop now." I struggled to speak as I tried to catch my breath.

"Why Jacob? I want you, all of you." She moaned, almost breaking my resolve.

"Because our first kiss is not going to be our first time Nessie!" I laughed at her. "You know I want to, but I want to do this right. Please?" She pouted at me in disappointment but nodded her head.

"I want to make this perfect Nessie, okay?" I explained. "You are the love of my life and I want to cherish every moment we have together. I know it'll be weird but I want to date you. Just because we both know where this is going to lead us, doesn't mean we should rush to get there straight away. I want to savor every moment we have together. I want you to be my girlfriend!"

"Okay boyfriend," she giggled. "What do we do now?"

"We just lay her Nessie. I just want us to lie here together and forget the world for a while," I said to her, pulling her back down onto the bed and tucking her under my arm.

Life was perfect at last.

Don't worry, that is not the end. It would make a lovely end I think, but there are still some unresolved issues left in my story. Bella, Seth, Leah. Life is not all about Jacob and Nessie you know! Stay tuned!

I would love for you to all review. I'm almost to 100!

Xx