Physician and Physicist by AndromedaMarine

To: John (myhairdefiesgravity)
From: Rodney (smartguysfinishlast)
Subject: Idiots. Nothing's Private.
Attachment: Hacked Emails
Timestamp: 13 April 2010 1123 ZULU

John, that "apology" didn't quite cut it for me. I saw McGrass checking out Dr. Carthy's ass on his way out after "apologizing" to Jennifer (and myself)! They apparently learn very slowly, and I'm telling you now since I just thought of it a few minutes ago to hack their emails (and you are not going to "do" anything about my hacking because I can make your life hell) and you'll never believe what Broad Shoulders and Sweaty Nose (aka McGrass and Lancer) have been saying. Specifically about you, me, Ronon, and where Ronon should shove his blaster. I think Evan was mentioned a few times, but I thought it would be best if you take care of this. I might just kill one of them if I see them again. I mean, just look at their email addresses! Could they possibly be any more offensive?

In my experience in dealing with military men and women, these two are the worst out of several hundred that I have met or known in passing. These guys just shouldn't be in the service if they talk that way about their CO. I don't even know how they got onto this city, let alone to the ranks they hold now. Isn't there some sort of honor code or "not being offensive" rule that applies when promotion dates roll around? Hah. Captain and corporal. Both should be booted.

RM

Attachment: Hacked Emails

To: Lancer (iamalance)
From: McGrass (ass-and-mcgrass)
Subject: Sheppard and the German Shepherd...
Timestamp: 9 April 2010 1906 ZULU

Dude, you were there for what Sheppard had me do. Apologize, publicly, to Keller and her German shepherd. Did you SEE the way that mutt was looking at me? Like he was about to rip my head off (as if he could take on a Marine) and toss it to Ronon. God, that Satedan (he's not even from EARTH) can take that fancy gun of his and shove it up...you know what, I'll let you figure out which body part of Sheppard's or McKay's he can shove it.

Morgan

To: McGrass (ass-and-mcgrass)
From: Lancer (iamalance)
Subject: RE: Sheppard and the German Shepherd...
Timestamp: 9 April 2010 2129 ZULU

Hey Morgan,

McKay is like Keller's German shepherd. Always trying to be all protective when he just looks like an idiot. You know, I think I saw Keller try to push him away for a moment. Wouldn't that be a blow to his ego! Not like it'd surprise me. A hot chick like Keller must be off her rocker to be going for a flub like McKay.

And that Major Lorne. I think he enjoys being Sheppard's dog.

Keith

To: Rodney (smartguysfinishlast)
From: John (myhairdefiesgravity)
Subject: RE: Idiots. Nothing's Private.
Timestamp: 13 April 2010 1347 ZULU

Okay, Rodney, needless to say those emails are making my blood boil. I promise I will take this up with Woolsey and have those two holding one-way tickets to Earth. I hope Jack has them court-martialed. Or at least give them demotions. No one that vulgar, offensive, and insubordinate deserves the ranks they hold. About them calling you a German shepherd...well they're not wrong about you being protective of Jennifer, but we all are. Evan, Ronon, myself, all the men who know her and respect her protect her.

Don't take what they said about her "pushing you away" seriously. Rodney, from a Kirk perspective (and I did not just confirm all you're suspicions) Jennifer's crazy about you. She loves you so don't go thinking you don't deserve her.

I'll deal with Lancer and McGrass.

To: Richard Woolsey (basecommander)
From: John Sheppard (myhairdefiesgravity)
Subject: Meeting Request
Timestamp: 13 April 2010 1355 ZULU

Mr. Woolsey,

It has come to my attention some emails of the incriminating type. I'm requesting to meet with you in private to discuss the emails and the future of their authors.

Col. Sheppard

To: John Sheppard (myhairdefiesgravity)
From: Richard Woolsey (basecommander)
Subject: RE: Meeting Request
Timestamp: 13 April 2010 1530 ZULU

Colonel Sheppard,

You may come to my office at 1700 hours to discuss these emails.

Richard Woolsey

To: Radek (czechmate)
From: Jennifer (blondesprefergentlemen)
Subject: Infirmary Visit
Timestamp: 13 April 2010 1544 ZULU

Radek, I believe you are due for a checkup. Be in the infirmary at 0900 Thursday morning. No excuses. Your last one wasn't so convincing.

– Jennifer

To: Jennifer (blondesprefergentlemen)
From: Rodney (smartguysfinishlast)
Subject: Dinner
Timestamp: 13 April 2010 1601 ZULU

Hey Honey,

Can we catch dinner at 1800? I kind of had a bad morning after hacking into some emails and I want to spend some time with you to...to banish the demons.

Love Rodney

To: Rodney (smartguysfinishlast)
From: Jennifer (blondesprefergentlemen)
Subject: Your Place or Mine?
Timestamp: 13 April 2010 1620 ZULU

Your quarters or mine?

Love Jen

To: Jennifer (blondesprefergentlemen)
From: Rodney (smartguysfinishlast)
Subject: Your Place
Timestamp: 13 April 2010 1632 ZULU

I'll get dinner and come to your quarters at 1800.

Love Rodney

To: Jennifer (blondesprefergentlemen)
From: Radek (czechmate)
Subject: RE: Infirmary Visit
Timestamp: 13 April 2010 1637 ZULU

Jennifer,

As much as it is inconvenient for myself, I will do my best to not miss this appointment. I am sorry my last excuse did not convince you.

Radek

To: Jennifer (blondesprefergentlemen)
From: Laura (bomb-chick)
Subject: OMG
Timestamp: 13 April 2010 1751 ZULU

OH MY GOD. Jenny, I have to talk to you NOW!

To: Laura (bomb-chick)
From: Jennifer (blondesprefergentlemen)
Subject: RE: OMG
Timestamp: 13 April 2010 1758 ZULU

Honey, I'm sorry, I'm having dinner with Rodney. Can I meet you at 1930 in the lounge?

To: Jennifer (blondesprefergentlemen)
From: Laura (bomb-chick)
Subject: RE: Re: OMG
Timestamp: 13 April 2010 1802 ZULU

Yeah sure just BE THERE!

A/N: Yeah, so this one just pretty much wrote itself after I posted chapter 11 yesterday. No distractions! Hopefully 13 will go up this weekend. But no promises. :) R&R!