A/N: Yeah, so you're getting this one pretty quick. I like this a lot better than the first chapter. Oh, if you have any ideas for better chapter names than I have, let me know ^^! Enjoy if at all possible . 3.!

Waste Some Time
Chapter Two
The Rose's Dilemma

He was sitting with Haseo in a deserted field. The temple stood out in the distance, the moon looking much more real than it ever had before. He swore he could feel the grass tickling his hand as it lay so close to Haseo's.

For the first time, it was actually him with Haseo. Not Endrance, but Kaoru. And it was Haseo; not Haseo, but the person behind the avatar, the way Kaoru saw him. And, though he knew the student probably didn't look the way he imagined, the person beside him was even more gorgeous than the avatar. His image of the boy had dark brown hair and a youthful face, wearing the same white clothing from his final form. He was striking.

Kaoru found he was unable to look away. As their eyes met, he melted. Those warm chocolate pools captivated him. He longed to indulge himself in the man beside him, but he held himself back. He would never even dream about going against Haseo's will. Instead, he settled for an endearing smile, turning his eyes respectfully up over the moon that hung so high over the far distant mountains.

He felt the weight on his shoulder, but he didn't look.

"Kaoru," the other spoke softly, using a voice the elder had only heard him use once before. "I'm glad you invited me to join your party."

His hand was covered, though he still didn't look.

Even as the other's fingers intertwined with his own, he didn't look back.

He'd had this dream before.

Every time he'd fallen asleep the previous year, he'd had it. And every single time he looked the other in the eyes, he used those three irrevocable words. And without fail they would go in for the kiss… and then he would wake up. Just before their lips met.

He wanted to enjoy the dream while he could. The feeling of their hands together and the body heat, and the closeness he could never share with the man- no matter how long they spent online together. Three years he'd known Haseo, and in all that time he'd never even learned his name. He really was worthless…

"Kaoru…?" He almost looked. The warmth against him stiffened as the fingers gripped tighter at his own. "Kaoru…" He realized that the dream wasn't waiting for him to make the first move any more.

"I… I love you, Kaoru."

That was new.

His resolve crumbled to the tenderness in that voice. He turned to face the love of his life and saw how beautiful he really was in this moonlit area. In the distance he heard the soft crooning of one of the lucky animals. Haseo twisted around to face him, eyes searching and bright.

The brunette took control, straddling Kaoru's bony hips. Their entwined hands lifted to Haseo's chest, and he felt the fluttering of a racing heart beneath his fingertips. Their faces drew nearer, Haseo's eyes glowing with the light of the moon. Despite himself, Kaoru knew that he was giving into temptation. Their lips were mere centimeters apart; he could feel the younger's breath hot on his sensitive skin.

Then Haseo was kissing him.

He found his back flat against the grassy ground and his lips moving on their own. His arms wrapped around the brunette, pressing their bodies together as closely as he could manage.

The kiss went on for forever, it seemed. When they finally broke for breath, their eyes met. It was Haseo who glared down at him.

"You're worthless."

In a heartbeat and a half Kaoru was blinking the sleep from his eyes, unwinding from the warmth of the covers. Sunlight streaked through the window he'd forgotten was there. As he sat up, the lone blanket slid from his shoulders, pooling around him. His thoughts went to his mother. He'd have to thank her.

Immediately, Haseo was back at the forefront of his mind. They'd kissed, and it had been so real. He grasped the blanket tightly in his fists. He'd never allowed himself a kiss, even in his dreams; and it struck him that, given the choice, he wouldn't have stopped at that. A blush lit up his cheeks. He shook his head, clearing it as best as he could.

There, sitting on the desk on the opposite side of the room, was the computer that had been his one constant connection to Haseo for the three years he'd known him. His stomach clenched. He wanted so badly to believe that he hadn't really meant it, that it really had just been a cruel joke. But even he wasn't delusional enough to convince himself of that.

Instead, he stood from his bed and shuffled past what had been his life-line until, for the first time in nearly three days, he was out of his room.

Sometimes it seems that life throws a hurdle at you every once in a while just to test your reflexes. Whether you jump it or turn in a totally new direction, your decision can make or break the next chapter in your life.

And in Kaoru's life, there were a few things that had changed without his noticing.

That his father practically refused to acknowledge his presence was a newer development, though he'd noticed it the few times he'd left his room the previous month.

As it turned out his sister was almost out of middle school. The school year was on its very last week and she had managed to pass her high school entrance exams with flying colors.

Minoru was ecstatic. Both because she was going to the same high school their parents had gone to and because, now that her brother had decided to quit living on the computer ("We'll see how long that lasts," his father had snorted over lunch), they could spend some time together before they left on a family vacation. 'Family' referring to all members of the Ichinose family that had left the house more than once the previous year. The 'family' had already purchased the plane tickets and made arrangements with the school, so he was out of luck. Not that it mattered either way to him. His family going to France without him meant nothing.

News that his sister had developed an interest in the game he had an addiction to had come as a bit of a shock. "Kao-nii! Can't you teach me how to play it sometime?" she had asked with a broad smile as soon as he sat down to lunch. It had taken him about four minutes to agree to show her the ropes after a solid wall of pleas.

Upon being told at dinner that he had little more than a month to find a new place to live, Ichinose Kaoru can proudly say that he did not 'freak out' or throw a fit, or anything unsavory like that. In fact, he can't quite say he did much of anything.

The 23-year-old just turned his eyes down over his meal with a shallow nod and continued to play disinterestedly with his food. He vaguely wondered if he'd ever get used to sitting down and eating a full meal. He was so used to just finding a plate on his desk whenever he tore himself away from the game long enough to use the restroom and picking at it for a few hours.

With a moment of hesitation, his father looked candidly between his mother and sister, then back to him. "You… Do you understand what I said?" he asked pointedly, looking taken aback by his son's nonchalance on the matter.

And for his sake, Kaoru still did not seem at all effected. None of the internal turmoil of a five-year shut in being told he would soon need to not only leave the house, but live on his own for a while showed on his face.

He simply kept his gaze focused on the trail his chopsticks were weaving through his meal, head bowed over the plate. "I understand. 'While we're gone we want you to try living on your own.' How can I possibly misunderstand that?" he asked.

Things went silent around the table as the words passed his lips. He went on playing with his food for a few more silent seconds before excusing himself from the table and seeking the solitude of his room.

He sat by habit at the computer desk, his hands going for the headset all on their own. He caught himself just as his door swung open. He looked up to see his sister in the doorway, smiling knowingly down at him. "I see how it is. You were just going to get on it yourself and abandon my request," she accused, closing the door behind her.

He felt a pang of guilt at the thought and stooped down to plug the computer back in. "I told you, I'm not getting back on anymore. He asked me not to…" he trailed off, standing up and gesturing to the chair for her. She said nothing and took it, her smile temporarily gone. "I'll walk you through the creation process and get you accustomed to the basics, but only after you help me find a good place to stay…"

She snickered, looking at him from over her shoulder. "Sounds like a fair trade. Where are you thinking you wanna stay?" she asked as she spun the chair in a circle.

He thought for a moment, eyes unfocused. He remembered a conversation he'd had with Haseo. "I think Tokyo," he responded, frowning at the ground, "I hear it's nice there…"

She gave him a curious look, but made no mention. "Okay. Let's see what we can find there. Whoa! Kao-nii, you never told me! I didn't know you were into BL!" she exclaimed, jerking forward in the chair as his screen loaded.

His face flushed as he looked up to see what she was looking at. His chest hurt as he saw his own background, but he felt a fond smile touch his lips despite it. About a month before, while Haseo had been in school, he'd checked out a few boards about the Terror of Death as he had a habit of doing. This was after a weekend of the two of them training together for two full days, so they'd been together nearly the whole time. They were only apart when Haseo had been called to Canard for a meeting, and even then he'd waited just outside the guild head-quarters. It had been one of the best experiences of Kaoru's life.

Apparently during this time some passersby had noticed them together and one had drawn a picture of them in a nighttime scene in an open field area. Haseo in his Xth form stood beside Endrance, who knelt in the grass petting an unlucky cat, who glared heatedly back up at him. It embarrassed him that somebody had witnessed what couldn't have been his greatest moment, but at least the attacking animal had gotten a laugh out of Haseo.

Then they'd gotten rid of it together. That had been the one time they both died during that long play through. They'd had their statuses dropped so low that the boss seemed drawn to them and they were one-hit killed three times. Revival Medicine kept them hanging on until they ran out.

Kaoru shook his head. "That's a picture of my character with Haseo," he explained, pointing to each as he said it.

"Ah. Nii-chan is pretty! I bet people think you're a girl a lot, don't they?" she teased. She looked it over thoughtfully. "So this is the Haseo you're always talking to? He's pretty, too. You like him a lot, don't you? From what I've heard, you say his name all the time..." she said suggestively, grinning widely as she clicked open a browser.

He said nothing but his sad smile remained, as did hers.

For about an hour they searched until they'd chosen one that was nice and cheap and within walking distance of every place he would need to go. They'd also put out an application to an internet café, a place Minoru thought he would particularly enjoy working.

As soon as they'd finished preparations she wheeled on him at last with a wicked smile, "I've more than handled my half of the bargain, I'd say."

He gave a somewhat reluctant nod. Dealing with the real world was much more tiring to him than the online world ever was. With a yawn, he pointed to the icon that would load The World's page. "Load the page and click 'create new account' in the top left." She nodded eagerly, clicking the icon. She followed his directions quietly until the screen blanked out and brought up a character creation screen. She squealed then in her excitement.

"Okay, Kao-nii. I want to surprise you. Turn around," she gestured as she spoke, spinning her finger in a circle.

He scooted back on the bed and flopped back onto the covers, staring up at the ceiling. As he heard her frantic clicking and typing, he closed his eyes.

Their conversation brought back memories of a time he'd been playing with Bo and Haseo just a year before.

They were walking through town after defeating a pretty tough boss, heading to buy some more health drinks and save their progress. Suddenly Haseo halted, frowning at something. He received the pop-up as well. SakuBo has logged in. He waited for a long moment, looking around toward the chaos gate, where they'd seen Saku off the previous day.

When the hat appeared, Haseo turned toward the spawning character hesitantly. "Let it be Bo…" he muttered, arms crossing his chest as they typically did.

Endrance smiled.

The sister had gone off on Haseo the last time she was online. In the end she'd followed him until he logged off and, apparently, she bothered him with about twenty messages as well. He still seemed a little bitter over it.

"Haseo!"

It was definitely Bo.

"Hey, Haseo, my sister's mad at you."

Haseo smacked his palm onto his forehead, looking less-than-pleased. "She doesn't want me to talk to you today… But… I want to level. Can you two help me?" he requested politely, blushing nervously as he had a habit of doing when addressing either of them.

Haseo turned and looked at Endrance questioningly. "What do you say?"

"It's up to you, Haseo," Kaoru responded as he usually did when asked if he minded another member in the party.

Not for the first time, Haseo frowned at him for the words. "Endrance, I'm asking you for a reason," he chastised, startling his elder. "Besides, it's your party…" he added quickly.

The smile that came so easily when he was around Haseo appeared. "Thank you, Haseo…" he took a step closer. Haseo turned to look around the market area. SakuBo has joined the party! flashed across both of their screens.

"Do we have enough Mage's Soul? And Health Drinks for another player?" Haseo asked after a moment, checking his inventory.

"Oh, don't worry about that Haseo; Saku always keeps this character pretty well-" he began, though the sound of footsteps fast approaching and a loud yell cut him off.

"Amazing! Your character design is so pretty!" They all turned around. There stood a twin blade in very basic gear, looking directly up at Haseo with a blush lit upon his face. The name above his head read Kinto.

The Adept Rogue blushed as well, looking shocked at being referred to as female. "Me? Huh- don't you mean him?" he pointed fervently at Endrance.

The newcomer shrank a few steps away. "'Him?' I thought you were all pretty girls. Ah~ what's with this game. All the characters look so feminine!" He didn't at all look like he minded, still blushing and looking them over.

"We're all guys!" Both Haseo and Bo shouted, looking insulted. Endrance just smiled to himself, used to the confusion.

Kinto knelt beside Bo, tugging at the shorts. "Transvestite?" he suggested to himself, curiously making sure it wasn't a skirt.

Due to the restrictions on player v. player fighting in towns aside from Lumina Cloth, Bo could do nothing but bolt behind Haseo, which he did instantly. "You seem like a new player," Haseo began, sounding strained.

"Oh yes! This it my very first login. Imagine my luck to find such cute designs right off the bat~" he crooned, clapping his hands together with a lecherous grin.

Haseo leveled him with a glare, something dangerous glinting in his eyes, calling forth one of his currently useless gun blades and holding it outstretched toward the offender. "We're going to leave now. If you try in any way to follow us I will personally make sure you never have the opportunity to level up. Ever," he responded in a monotone.

Kinto seemed shocked. "You… You can do that in this game?" He turned and ran away through town.

Haseo got rid of his weapon and turned, frowning, toward the gate again. "Screw doing these quests, Endrance. Let's never come back to Mac Anu…" he growled definitively.

Endrance smiled warmly down at him. "Anything you want, Haseo…"

The white-haired character blushed again. "What?" he demanded, staring at him defiantly.

"You think my design looks 'cute?'" the tallest of the trio asked, not at all embarrassed.

"That's not what I said! I said… It was because you're the one who gets confused for a girl. That was my first time!"

"But you did say it, Haseo. I heard it too," Bo accused innocently.

"Shut up! We're going to Breg Epona!"

"Kao-nii~!" his sister giggled. He heard the familiar sounds of the chair creaking as she leaned back in it. "I hope you like it!"

Kaoru sat up and moved beside the monitor to see just what his sister had created. He blanched. "M…Minoru. Wha- What did you do?"

Endraseo was a twin blade. She had white hair about as long as Endrance's in relation to her body, red eyes, a deep purple version of something strappy like what had been Haseo's first form, a very pale complexion, a mark of a rose on her left shoulder, and some icy blue markings elsewhere that vaguely resembled Haseo's. In short, it looked like...

"See? It's like the child you and Haseo can never have!"

To his horror, she had already made it into an actual character. He didn't know whether to strangle her or hug her for thinking of such a thing. He settled on a blush. "Minoru…" he mumbled, wondering for a brief second if there were a way to erase a character that he could get to before she realized what he was doing.

Then, with a sinking feeling in his gut, he remembered that it didn't matter. He wouldn't be getting back online anyway. It wouldn't matter if there were such a monstrosity roaming The World. Haseo was the only one who'd have to worry about it, but the odds of him bumping into her were slim to none.

"Amazing, I know. Okay, so show me how to work through the game…"

Before he could do anything, a knock came at his door. With his quiet acknowledgement the door swung open and his mother stood within the frame. She smiled as she saw them. "Oh no, not you too! That's just what we need," she teased with a smile.

The teenager stood and smiled before her mother. "Not yet mom. We were just getting to the addiction part."

"Ah. It's a good thing I came when I did, then. Before I can let you go jumping into online games, I need you to jump in the bath. We're going to spend the week cleaning." Minoru looked appalled at the news.

"I can't believe you would do this to me! I thought you loved me!" she exclaimed dramatically, looking close to tears.

"Yes, yes. Now get to it, Minty," their mother wielded the nickname she'd given to the girl at a young age and it worked as it usually did.

"Yeeeees, ma'am," she said, giving in instantly and moving to leave the room. In a moment she was leaning in the doorway, pointing at the monitor. "If you do anything to that character, I'll throw your computer out the window, okay?" she cooed, winking before slinking away beyond sight again.

His mother stepped into the room and set a basket of clothes beside the bed as she took a seat beside him on the edge of it. She gave him a look-over before a kind smile turned up her cracked lips.

"Are you okay with going to live away from home for a while?" she questioned, pushing her long blond hair back over her shoulder. He nodded, eyed downcast over the floor. "And… do you have anything in mind? I don't want you to wait until the last minute. This is something you need to really consider, Kaoru."

"Minoru was helping me look around. We've already contacted an apartment about it. They said they'd hold a place for two weeks. They need the down payment by then, though... and it's a six month lease. I also put in a few applications with her help…" he explained hesitantly, meeting her eyes a grand total of three seconds. The nervousness he'd felt at dinner was returning.

"You'll do well, Kaoru. I have faith in you. I'll talk it over with your father again. Maybe I can get him to change his mind…" she said, looking concerned as she watched him.

He looked up immediately, frowning. Hearing her say that… he shouldn't be worrying her like this. He was in his twenties now… It was time for a change. He shook his head. "I want to give this a try."

Her smile grew back. "Good; I know he won't rethink it. I've been trying to make him change his mind for a week already," she laughed.

"Thank you."

She pulled him into a hug, holding the position for a few more seconds than she usually got to. "You will do well. I know it. I have a very good feeling about this," she informed him knowingly, nodding as she said it.

He smiled, nodding as well. "Good night, mom," he said for the first time in well over a year. She froze as she went to pick up the basket again. She stared for a moment before looking twice as happy.

"Good night, Kaoru-chan."

Once she left the room, he changed into his pajamas (another thing he'd gone without for a long while) and turned out the light before crawling under the covers. He decided to take a bath in the morning.

As he lay beneath the warmth of his blankets, staring at his hand on the sheets, he was reminded why he loved white sheets. Against the white of the sheets on his bed, when it was lit only by moonlight, his hand looked darker. It didn't seem like his own pale hand, it looked as though it belonged to somebody else. He hated feeling completely alone. Just the sight of his hand against the pallor of his sheets gave him the feeling that there was somebody else there with him.

If he thought hard enough, he could imagine it was Haseo. But that wouldn't help tonight. He felt the tears brimming in his eyes at the thought of his one person, at the thought of the last thing that had been said between them.

No. Just feeling like he wasn't alone would have to be enough for tonight.

A/N: By the way, on a little side note, that last bit was actually what inspired me to start this story. I was laying in bed at a hotel unable to sleep and since I'm really pretty pale it surprised me how much of a difference white sheets made. Then I thought of Endrance and it went downhill from there.

Random trivia xD;