I spent the rest of the morning searching the halls for a sign of Bella. When I couldn't find her physically, I tried to find her thoughts but she was absent from my mind. I was stuck with my own reflections – primarily, my growing obsession with this girl. I was amazed how in a matter of days the entire focus of my life had changed. I had a new addiction: Bella. My mind hardly ever wavered from her – fantasizing about my hands caressing her body, my lips hungered for her kiss, I even craved her thoughts. My mind seemed woefully dull and empty without her presence.
I was beginning to realize how meaningless life had seemed before I encountered Bella. Now it was exciting, new, and fresh as if the future was entirely open to me. I couldn't wait to see Bella again, to read her thoughts, just to sit next to her and feel the steady flow of energy that surged between us. I felt alive – more alive than I had ever felt before.
I still hadn't stopped searching for a sign of Bella when I entered the cafeteria for lunch. But, like the day before, she didn't make an appearance. I sat down with Alice and Jasper, facing away from a nearby table of girls who were giggling. I was vaguely aware that they seemed like they were trying to elicit my attention.
"Edward don't you like any of those girls? They're practically drooling over you," Alice remarked, peering over my shoulder.
"Yeah man, your definitely causing quite a stir in the female population here," Jasper added. He turned toward Alice and whispered something unintelligible in her ear and she blushed before hitting him lightly on the shoulder. "Jasper! I can't believe you," she said playfully and I couldn't help smile at their infectious happiness.
"I'm not interested in any of these girls," I said. "But there is a girl in my Biology class…I wanted to ask if maybe you knew her."
"Who…who is it, Edward?" Alice squeaked in anticipation, sliding to the edge of her seat to lean in closer.
"Her name's Bella. Bella Swan." I looked at Jasper to gauge his reaction but he scrunched up his face as if he was trying to decide what to tell me. Before he could say anything though Alice piped up with enthusiasm, "Oh Edward, I know her. She is in my English class. She is so beautiful! I instantly liked her…almost like I was drawn to her. And she is so smart…I think she's read every book on the face of the planet. If the teacher can't find anyone to answer her questions, she asks Bella. And she always knows the answer."
"Watch out for that girl, Edward," Jasper piped in, "She is an ice queen. I mean, she's untouchable. A lot of guys have tried to melt that ice but she's impenetrable, man. She's beautiful and smart but…don't bother. Anyway, she hangs out with that guy from the Quileute Res. And those Quileute guys are huge!"
Jasper ended his speech and then sat back in his chair, taking a bite of a wilted looking french fry. I was pondering the new information about Bella when Emmett walked up, his arm wrapped possessively around Rosalie's shoulders. Wow! That's fast even for him.
"Hey, me and Rosie are gonna go down to La Push beach on Friday for a bonfire. You guys wanna come? Eddie, you should invite one of these girls," he said as he gestured toward the table behind me and I instinctually turned to see several eager faces turned in my direction. I instantly regretted the look – I recognized the girl from yesterday among the group and I could tell it was going to be hard to get her off my tail.
"Yeah, maybe Emmett," I answered noncommittally as Jasper and Alice turned down his invitation – they had already made plans to go to a movie. I spent the rest of lunch period watching my two siblings flirting with their new partners, continually reminded of my loneliness and feeling distinctly out of place. I wondered about my beautiful Bella and where she spent her lunches. I imagined her "huge" Quileute friend and hoped that with more fervor than I would like to admit that he was not her boyfriend. I actually couldn't imagine Bella with anyone – no one was good enough for her – maybe even me.
Biology in the morning was definitely my favorite class. All the others seemed unbearably mundane without Bella. School had always been mostly effortless for me and I'd already determined that I didn't need to concentrate very hard in my classes to succeed at Forks High. The annoying stares from the girls in my classes bothered me more than they usually did – I only wanted one girl to be looking at me. The day stretched on, my eyes fixing on the clock more often than normal.
Finally, the final bell rang for the day and I jumped up from my seat, and headed for my car. When I reached the parking lot, I leaned against the car waiting for Alice and Emmett. Again, I couldn't stop myself from looking for Bella in the school crowd. I had grown pessimistic that I would see her. I almost felt like I'd made her up, created her in my mind – she was too perfect to be real. I decided to give up looking, turned away from the mass of students, and that's when I spotted her.
She was standing on the edge of the retaining wall at the far end of the school. The wall was probably about four feet high but she stood on the edge without any uncertainty. She hovered on the edge and then gracefully jumped to the sidewalk below. Her movements were effortless, and exquisite. I looked around to see if anyone else had noticed her elegant leap off of the wall. But I couldn't keep my eyes away from her and I arched back in her direction.
The loud whirr of a motorcycle caught my attention and I watched as it skillfully swerved through the parking lot, weaving around pedestrians and cars in its way, to come to a screeching halt directly in front of Bella. The front tire was only inches from where she stood with her hands on her hips, completely unfazed by the close call with the motorcycle. The driver put the kick stand down and swung his long leg over the bike and pulled his helmet off. He reached over to pick her up – hugging her against his body and I gasped at his massive build – he was extremely tall and muscular. He had long black hair and even from my distance I could discern his tan reddish skin. There was no doubt in my mind that this was the Quileute friend that Jasper had mentioned at lunch.
I don't remember ever feeling jealous before but as Bella wrapped her hands around the waist of this tall, dark man, I was seething with anguish and desire. I felt the blood rush to my face and my hands were clenched at my sides so tightly that I could feel my nails digging into my palms. I looked down in shame of these feelings. I had no claim over this girl who I'd only just talked to for the first time this morning.
I looked down at the dust on the toe of my shoe and had a moment of self doubt. I thought that if I wanted her, I was going to have to fight for this girl. And there was no doubt in my mind that she was worth it. I wasn't used to feeling insecure. I had more than my share of girls throw themselves at me. But they weren't Bella and even though she was clearly attached to her giant boyfriend, I was still resolved to make her mine.
I closed my eyes and tried to concentrate my mind on Bella, hoping that if I directed all my energy in her direction that I might be able to pick up a fragment of her thoughts. I tried to quiet my mind and steady my uneven breaths. I pinched my eyebrows together forcefully but all that came to me was my own tormented longing, my excruciating desire to reforge the powerful and intimate connection with this beautiful and intriguing girl.
The wind whooshed by me as the motorcycle passed and I heard in my head a voice that mirrored my longing, "Edward." Feeling encouraged, I raised my head to see Bella's piercing eyes looking back at me, her hair whipping around her exquisite face like a lion's mane. "Bella," I thought back, wishing that she too, could read my mind so she could know how intensely I ached for her.