A/N: Here is the next installment of my story. This chapter was particularly hard for me to write and I rewrote it and edited it several times.
Warning: this is the first chapter where this story begins to earn its M rating. There is some self-loving sexual imagery in this chapter. This was my first attempt at lemony stuff so please review and let me know how you think I did. It was harder than I thought – but totally important for the story because this is a tale about both a mental and physical connection between these two.
I woke up the next morning to Emmett slamming down on the edge of the bed, startling my body from deep slumber to an instant state of awareness. "Guh, Em, what the hell?" I grumbled.
"What was up with you last night, man? I half expected you to be sick or something this morning. Dude, you were a mess, all doubled over in the sand. And you treated Lauren like crap. Who was that girl you went off with? I mean Lauren was really pissed."
The fog was starting to lift from my head, Emmett's words pulling me back to my anger from the night before. I rolled my heavy body over to face the wall and slung my arm over my head. "Look Emmett, I have no interest in that girl. Why did you bring her? She's horrible."
"Yeah, I know," he admitted and I turned back toward him, even pulling my body up to a sitting position. "It was Rosie's idea. Lauren is her friend and Rose thought you'd like her." He put up his hand to stop my impending outburst and continued talking. "I know, I know. She's not at all your type. But Edward, you got to admit that most guys would go for the easy conquest. She pretty much had her hands all over you." He cast down his gaze to the floor before surprising me with his perceptiveness, "and Edward you kind of, you know, seem lonely. I'm gettin' kinda tired of the brooding thing."
"Sorry Emmett, I know you had good intentions," I said and I really meant it. I knew I wasn't always fun to be around. I stood and pushed my hand through my unruly hair and scratched my scalp. All in one quick moment, my dreams came flooding back into my mind. Bella. I dreamed of Bella. Bella running, Bella screaming, Bella falling down, Bella with blood dripping down her forehead. Emmett's voice ripped me from the glimpse into my nightmare and I was instantly in the present again.
"Edwarrrd, are you there, buddy? So, come on…who was the girl?"
"Bella," I blurted without thinking. "Here name is Bella. She goes to our school," I added by way of explanation.
He nodded, a big goofy grin taking shape on his face. "Awesome. But dude, you were acting so weird. Did she take off or something? I didn't see her later on. Man…you couldn't have made a very good impression." He shook his head and looked down at the floor, clearly feeling bad for me.
But Emmett's moment of levity was short lived. He shrugged off whatever negative feelings he was experiencing and changed the subject, "Hey, it's already like noon. I had to get you up cause we're goin' out tonight. Jasper's band is playing in Port Angeles and we're all going. No excuses, Edward. Alice has been bouncing around the house all morning and she's driving everyone crazy; she's so excited. We're leaving at seven, so be ready."
I dragged myself to the bathroom and took a long shower. I couldn't seem to remember my dream any longer no matter how hard I tried to focus my mind. But Bella still plagued my thoughts. My dream left me with a residual feeling of foreboding but I felt the darkness wash away as the first streams of water hit my dull skin.
The shower eased all the tension from my body and I found my mind reverting to baser thoughts. Here in the quiet safety of my shower I could allow myself to surrender to all my fantasies, all my body's aching needs. I was a teenage boy after all.
In my real life I would never objectify Bella – I would love her, worship her, but never reduce my feelings to lust. But as I ran the soapy bar across my chest, down my hard stomach and around the length of my cock, I couldn't resist thinking of her beautiful mouth and the deep red color of her lips. The scalding hot water streamed down my shoulders and I felt every bit of me awaken.
My soapy hands unconsciously lingered on my throbbing erection. I palmed the length of it while my mind drifted to the other parts of Bella's anatomy: her perfectly shaped breasts, her thin hips, and her insanely long sexy legs. Just recalling the way her hair lay in loose curls around her lovely face almost drove me to release.
I imagined pressing my lips to hers and the ecstasy it would be to run my hands over every square inch of her body. She was sexier and more alluring to me than any girl I'd ever seen or known. She was smart, fascinating, and unbelievably gorgeous. I felt as though I was addicted to her beauty, her voice, and her electrifying touch like a drug and I needed a fix. My hands were rhythmically stroking, tugging, willing my release to come. I imagined that it was her hands that were wrapped tightly around me, caressing me, urging me on.
A few short minutes later I brought myself to climax, groaning involuntarily as my stomach muscles contracted. My heartbeat was hammering in my chest and I sucked down a deep breath of air, trying to calm my agitated body.
Leaning forward in relief, I pressed my head against the cold tiles. The cold, hard surface instantly reminded me of the otherworldly coldness of Bella's beautiful, petite hand. Why was she so cold? What was it that made her so different? Why did I have such an intense connection with her? I just couldn't explain any of it and thinking about the mystery that surrounded her was not only terribly frustrating but it made my head physically hurt again.
As I stepped out of the shower and dried off I was trying to make sense of it all. Bella was different but the answers seemed just out of reach, just beyond my comprehension. It was as if the truth lingered right in front of me but I couldn't see it clearly. What did I know about her? She was more beautiful than any other creature I'd ever laid eyes on; she was physically agile and moved with a sexy confidence entirely abnormal for a teenage girl. Her skin was smooth and intensely cold and she was noticeably pale.
Most significantly, every glimpse I've had into her mind revealed to me that her thoughts were often dark and violent. And even though all this should send me running in the opposite direction, I was inextricably drawn to her. I was connected to her. We were both physically and mentally bonded in such a profound way that when I wasn't near her I felt as though a part of me were missing, like I couldn't fully breathe. And when I was with her I knew without a doubt, that she felt the connection just as intensely as I did.
I wasn't frightened of Bella but I was a bit frightened by the intensity of my feelings for her. I didn't even know her but I was fairly certain that I would willingly give up everything to drown myself in her mind and her body. I had a deep rooted need to understand her, to reveal the mystery that surrounded her, to know all her secrets. Despite all my curiosity, I knew with every fiber of my being that no matter what I discovered, it wouldn't change how I felt about her. I was hers. Completely.
Having resolved my feelings about Bella, I felt surprisingly unburdened. I spent the rest of my day catching up on schoolwork and working over a new composition on the piano. It was more passionate and haunting than my other pieces. I felt the emotion flow from my heart to my fingers like I never had before. When my mother put her hand on my shoulder hours later I realized that I hadn't noticed that night had fallen and that I had been playing in the faint glow of twilight for some time.
"Edward that was just lovely," my mother said with obvious pride. "I haven't heard that one before. Is it new?"
"Yes. I felt …inspired." I looked up into my mother's eyes and realized how lucky I was to have such supportive and loving parents. I stood up, stretched and kissed my mother on the cheek before heading out to the living room where Alice, Emmett and Rosalie were sitting with my father.
"Oh there you are, Edward." He clapped me on the shoulder and as he walked toward the kitchen he called over his shoulder, "Have a good time kids. Don't stay out too late." He turned to glance pointedly at me before he disappeared around the corner. "Edward, have some fun. You're too serious lately."
End notes:
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