Chapter Three: Love and Chocolate

James had just entered the boys' dormitory.

"Where's Sirius?" asked Remus immediately, who was sitting on his bed, without a book in his hands for once. James shrugged.

"Dunno."

"'Dunno?' We thought he was with you!"

"Relax, I'm sure he's fine—"

"It's not him I'm worried about—it's whoever he's decided to try and hex I'm worried about," Remus said. "Although a run-in with that awful cousin of his could not do anybody any good. You know he's gonna do something stupid, if he hasn't already. He's been missing for two days! I can't believe he skipped a whole day of classes—it's only the fourth day!"

"Is he in the common room?" asked Peter, and James shook his head.

"Why aren't the teachers looking for him?"

"They are, but they haven't found him yet. You need to find him," Remus told James.

"Calm down, what are you, some kind of girl?" James said, annoyed. "Sirius can take care of himself…he's probably in the library or something."

"Yeah, right," snorted Remus, "he was telling me a few days ago that he was allergic to reading."

"Detention, then?" James offered.

"While that would be far more likely, why would he show up for detention but not for class?"

"That's probably how he got detention."

"James, find him!" Remus ordered. "You are his bloody best mate, and he's upset—"

"He obviously doesn't want to talk about it," James pointed out, "seeing as he's completely avoiding everybody, in case you haven't noticed."

"You don't have to talk about it, just bring him back here!" said Remus. "It's almost eleven."

"Even if I manage to find him, how do you propose I get him back here?" James retorted.

"I dunno, figure it out! Bribe him with a dung bomb or something—he can't seem to get enough of those, can he?"

James looked as though this was a fair point, but still didn't seem too keen on the idea of finding Sirius.

"He'll come back when he wants."

"He doesn't know what he wants, he's eleven!"

"Last time I checked, you were the same age," James countered. "If you want him back here so much, you go get him."

"You're his best mate!"

"Yeah, but you actually give a crap!"

"I can't believe you," said Remus, shaking his head. "Go find Sirius. It's not like you have anything better to do. Throw a Fanged Frisbee into the teachers' lounge to spice things up if you want, just go find Sirius."

"Fine, fine, I'm going," said James, pulling on a cloak. The memory dissolved

It was dark, and Harry was outside, getting rained on profusely—or, at least, he would have been had be been solid. Ahead of him, James was walking, hands in his pockets, in the direction of the Quidditch pitch. Harry followed him down to the pitch and then up the steps to the stands, which were covered. James shook out his hair like a dog to remove the rain, and made his way to a dark-haired boy sitting in the back row.

"Hey, mate," he said, and the boy jumped.

"Oh, it's you," he grunted back.

"Remus made me go look for you," James explained. "He was getting worried, says you shouldn't have skipped class today…" when Sirius said nothing, James cleared his throat somewhat awkwardly. "Where've you been?"

"Here," said Sirius unhelpfully.

"Right." James opened his mouth, and then closed it, as though thinking better of the words he was about to say. After a minute, he spoke again. "Your mum was way out of order, mate."

"I know it."

It appeared that James had nothing else to say. He stood awkwardly next to Sirius, his hands in his pockets again, while Sirius glared at nothing.

"You know what would make you feel better?" asked James.

"I'm not upset," Sirius told him darkly.

"Did I say you were?" said James, but he didn't wait for a reply. "Look, just show up for Transfiguration, okay? It'll be worth it."

Sirius grunted a response that could have been either 'yes' or 'no.' James nodded. "You coming back up?" he asked.

"Later."

James nodded, and looked like he was going to say something more again, but didn't, and walked back up to the castle.

The memory dissolved, and the Transfiguration classroom materialized again. The Gryffindors and Slytherins were all focused on McGonagall's lecture on the transfiguration of inanimate objects—with, of course, the obvious exception of James Potter and Sirius Black. James was scrawling a note on spare parchment again. He balled it up, checked to see if McGonagall was looking, and tossed it at Snape, sitting a few rows in front of him. The parchment landed on Snape's desk, directly in front of him.

Snape looked around to glare at James, but James was pretending to take notes. Snape made a noise between a hiss and a growl and unfolded the note. Harry glided through the desks to read over Snape's shoulder in his father's horrible handwriting: Sorry for setting fireworks on you in the lake. Harry was now both confused and uneasy. To his (limited) knowledge, James and never apologized to Snape. Ever. This could not mean anything good.

Snape, too, seemed to find this suspicious, so he slid the note to Lily sitting beside him for approval. Lily read it and rolled her eyes. Snape scratched something on the parchment and tossed it back to James. Harry read over James's shoulder: Eat dung, Potter. And you too, Black, because you most likely have something to do with whatever he's planning. James smirked at it and showed it to Sirius, and pulled out, of all things, a chocolate frog. He wrote another note on the parchment and threw both at Snape.

I mean it, said the note. Here is a chocolate frog as a token of my apology. Snape threw the frog back at James. What have you done to it? He asked in the note.

Nothing, James replied, and while Snape was still looking at him, he broke off a piece of frog and put it in his own mouth, tossing the rest to Snape. Snape turned around, and Harry saw James spit the chocolate out into his hand.

Nothing happened for a few moments. James innocently took notes, a smirk on his face, and Snape eyed the frog warily, as though deciding whether or not to eat it. Then, after what seemed like an hour, but was actually only a few minutes, Snape unwrapped the rest of the frog, and ate it.

"Sev, don't—" warned Lily quietly, but he had already swallowed. James looked up, his smirk broadening. He turned to Sirius, sitting to his left.

"Watch this," he said, smirking.

A sudden change was coming over Snape. While he had been paying attention to Professor McGonagall before, he now seemed to be positively enraptured by her very presence. His eyes were glazed over and a loopy smile covered Snape's greasy face. Harry snorted; he had never seen him look so stupid. It was rather similar to the sloppy look that Fleur would often give to Bill Weasley.

"The most important thing to remember is to always—Mr. Snape, are you paying attention?" Professor McGonagall stopped in front of Snape and rapped his desk twice with her wand, looking stern.

"Yes," he said dreamily, and the class stared at him, and Harry knew why: he had never heard Snape speak in this tone before. Harry looked back at James, who was trying not to laugh. "Excuse me, Professor, I just can't help but be blinded by your beauty."

The whole class stifled laughs. McGonagall's lips formed a tight line, and Lily mouthed, "What are you doing?" at him. Snape continued to stare, slack jawed, at McGonagall.

"Five points from Slytherin," she said tersely. "As I was saying—"

"But Professor," Snape interrupted, and Lily gaped at him again, "how can you fault me for being intensely aware of your loveliness? How can I take notes while looking at the most beautiful woman I have ever seen in my life? How can you punish me for emotions I cannot control—"

"Mr. Snape, I strongly suggest you stop talking this very instant," McGonagall said murderously. "You will talk to me after class and you will not disrupt this lesson again."

"But I can't wait until after class!" Snape exclaimed. "I want to talk to you now!"

Lily was looking from the chocolate frog to Snape, and something clicked in her head. She turned around and glared at James, who was watching this whole exchange as though it was

"Mr. Snape—"

"Professor, just because our love is forbidden doesn't mean it can never be!" Snape said dramatically. "I know you will have many qualms about such a relationship, but dismiss them, immediately! I know you love me—don't deny it! I often catch you staring at me, and even now, you are blushing, embarrassed by the sexual tension brought on by my presence!" Harry looked at McGonagall, whose face was indeed extremely red, but Harry strongly suspected that this was out of fury than love for Snape. "I assure you, despite my age, I am a very satisfying lover—"

By now the entire class had completely lost it, including Harry. Even Lily was trying to hide a smile while silently demanding that James tell her what he had done. McGonagall was not amused.

"Silence," she said darkly, and everybody quieted down without having to be asked twice. "Mr. Snape, I am giving you a weeks worth of detention for this disrespectful behavi—what is this?" she picked up the chocolate frog wrapper.

"'Disrespectful behavior?'" said Snape incredulously, who appeared not to have heard her question. "I have nothing but respect for you, my love—"

"Ms. Evans, where did he get this?" McGonagall cut across Snape and turned to Lily.

"Potter gave it to him," she said, and now she was the one smirking. McGonagall crossed the classroom to where James was sitting.

"What did you do to this frog, Potter?" McGonagall hissed.

"Nothing, Professor," said James innocently.

"Do not lie to me, Potter," she said, sounding angrier than Harry had ever heard her. "Did you or did you not put a love potion in that chocolate frog?" The whole class was staring at James, with the exception of Snape, who was reciting a poem he had made up on the spot about McGonagall: "Minerva, my love, you brighten my day! Your smile is rare, but if I may, when I look at you I can not help but say, you're wonderful!"

"He seems fine to me," James shrugged. McGonagall stared at James, and James stared back, his face in a perfectly manufactured look of puzzled questioning.

"Ms. Evans," said McGonagall, not taking her eyes off of James. "Will you take Mr. Snape up to the infirmary?"

"Yes, Professor," said Lily, and she took Snape by the upper arm and practically dragged him out of the class. He did not go quietly; Harry heard him shout down the hallway, "Meet me at midnight at the Whomping Willow! We can run away together!"

"You will see me after class, Potter," said McGonagall, and she sounded so furious that Harry was shocked that James didn't crumble to ashes under her glare. She turned back and stalked to the front of the classroom, continuing their lesson.

"That," Remus muttered to James, "was brilliant."

A/N: Hey, guys! Sorry, this chapter's a bit on the short side, but I rather like it. I was going to post a different chapter, but I decided that it would work better later in the story, so I had to re-write this. Thank you all SO MUCH for your kind reviews. I can not tell you how awesome you all are. Please continue to review--and all you lurkers, you should review as well. I really appreciate the feedback. Remember, constructive criticism is very welcome and encouraged, just don't flame because that's just mean.

-Dem